Things the Animorphs (and other characters) would never say

[Aquilai]

Ellimist: Yeerk homeworld could no longer sustain their numbers. They were so many. They found an Andalite ship.

*scene of infested Gedds taking over Andalite ships*

Dozens of planets and hundreds of moons. Each one enslaved, a process taking decades to support Yeerk life. To be new Yeerk worlds.

*scene depicting infestation of new aliens on multiple planets*

Ellimist: The central Yeerk government formed the Council. Ruled by an anonymous Emperor. The Council was a beacon of leadership. The savage lower classes were not so enlightened and arrogantly sought promotions.

*silhouette of 13 aliens some holographic in a round meeting room transitioning to 47
controllers of various hosts giving their neighbours suspicious looking eyes*

Ellimist: The struggle for promotions was devastating. But the infighting for rank ensured a stronger empire. And now Yeerks can enjoy the comfort and choice of scores of hosts.

*resumes original form in the presence of the Animorphs*

Jake: Why were the Yeerks even allowed to infest others to begin with? Why wouldn't they look to be more civilised?
Tobias: I hear they were cannibals -
Ax: That's only Taxxons and Kandrona independent Yeerks.
Rachel: Kandrona free Yeerks aren't real!
Ax: Full well they are.
Tobias: I heard they attack hosts too and kill them and eat their brains for hours and hours -

*Ellimist raises his hand*

Ellimist: It's true that there are dangers near Yeerks. So with so many species and unique beings out there. Why would I choose you to fight them?
Cassie: You meddle.
Ellimist: Cassie?
Cassie: You play a game. You meddle with our lives. Tell us what to do what to think. Don't run. Don't walk. You're in our homes and in our heads and you haven't the right to! You're meddlesome.
Ellimist: Cassie. We're not telling you what to think...we're just trying trying to show them how.

*illusion clears and the Animorphs are mental patients in a hospital. A doctor with the identity label Dr Cray Ak and another with the name tag Dr Toom In stare through the glass pane into 6 despondent individuals in a room*

Dr Cray Ak: They're just dreaming.
Dr Toom In: Scary monsters?
Dr Cray Ak: See most of our best work is done when they're asleep. We can monitor and direct their subconscious...impl ant suggestions. It's a little startling to see at first but the results are spectacular. Especially in this case. Cassie is our star pupil.
Dr Toom In: I've heard that.
Dr Cray Ak: She'll be ideal for defence deploment a sleep agent especially with the side effects.
Dr Toom In: Tell me about them.
Dr Cray Ak: Well, obviously she's self righteous. Her sympathetic needs does tend to fragment teams. It manifests an aura of innocence and empathy.
Dr Toom In: What use do we have for an agent if she's empathetic to our enemies?
Dr Cray Ak: She's not just an empath. Given the right trigger, this girl is the ultimate Judas. She has her lucid periods. We're hoping to improve upo- I'm sorry but I have to ask. Is there any reason for this inspection?
Dr Toom In: Am I making you nervous?
Dr Cray Ak: Key members of our government have personally observed this subject. I was told the government's support for the project was unanimous. The Time Matrix simulations of her-
Dr Toom In: How is she physically?
Dr Cray Ak: Like nothing we've ever seen. All our subjects have morphing capabilities. But Cassie... She's a creature of extraordinary grace.
Dr Toom In: She always did love her morphs.

*Dr Cray Ak turns to look at Dr Toom In as he drops to the floor activating a device. Dr Cray Ak collapses and so do the nearby orderlies*

Ellimist: And so it begins...

[NateSean]

Subtle jabs to Cassie's character aren't bad. And interesting adaptation of the opening scenes of Serenity.

[TobiasMasonPark]

     (Takes place during the early chapters of the beginning--haven't read it in a while, so forgive me if I got it wrong)

     Marco: (after watching a Taxxon [Tobias] eating Cassie) Smart plan, Jake. Having Tobias morph a Taxxon and pretend to eat Cassie. But we know it's really Erek projecting a hologram. Smart man. That's why you're the leader.

     Jake, Ax and Tobias (the Taxxon) stare at Marco.

     Tobias: Jake...You didn't say that was part of the plan...
     Ax: I thought we were going to take advantage of the Yeerk Empire's demise and dispose of Cassie.
     Tobias: Yea, because of all her jibber-jabbering about her morals.
     Jake: (shrugs) Either way.

[Blazing Angel]

 

[Unknown User]

Random Controller: Oh my Human Deity, Guys! I just got a spot on a human television show called 'Pimp my ride'! Wait until the Visser sees the blade ship.

[MoppingBear]

Tobias:  Jake had called yet another meeting.  I flew to Cassie's, gliding along the thermals.
"So, what's the evil Yeerk plot this time?"  I asked as I arrived.

[TobiasMasonPark]

     Um...

     I think you have the wrong thread, bro.

[MoppingBear]

     Um...

     I think you have the wrong thread, bro.

i most definitely do not.  its a subtle joke, ill give it a few hours to see if anyone gets it.

[TobiasMasonPark]

     Does it have to do with the thermals?

[Blazing Angel]

I think he's saying thats the basic plot of every book. Tobias or someone flies/walks to a convenient location where they learn something that benifits them

[warren_bearclaw]

My guess is it's the "quotation marks" he used instead of <thought-speak brackets>.

In which case.. haha, good one.

[TobiasMasonPark]

     The thread is called "Things the Animorphs (and Other Characters) Would Never Say."

[TobiasMasonPark]

     Edit: You smart Bear I never thought of that.

[MoppingBear]

     The thread is called "Things the Animorphs (and Other Characters) Would Never Say."

the joke being the mention of thermals without a page worth of definition of what a thermal is.

[DinosaurNothlit]

Bear, you beat me to it.

Actually, though, given how many times there have been typos in the books confusing thought-speech for regular speech, I totally would not be surprised if this HAS happened.