Haha guys, these are great...let me give it a shot...
There we were, in a ship that would've made Rachel proud. It purred like a big cat, looming above the Blade Ship.
"There's no sound in space!" Ax shouted. He had morphed Tom Brokaw several years back and enjoyed moderate success as an impersonator.
"Ax, really, I'm trying to think here," Jake said flatly, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"I wonder if The One will want to date me," Marco sighed. "I am irresistable to all forms of life."
<Why are we here if Ax is already on the ship?> Tobias demands, but no one listens. <Why is Cassie here? Come to think of it, why am I here...>
"That thing isn't alive," snapped the random Italian soldier whose name no one could remember. He'd really just come on board to watch Airplane! with us, and eat all of our potato chips.
"It's...a ham sandwich?" Cassie wondered aloud, as the shifting mass on the holoscreen turned into a giant ham sandwich with a toothpick in it.
"That's it," Jake growled. "We ain't letting this b**** take over the universe." He put the Yeerkish Imperial Dodge Viper, Cruise Class, into gear.
The ham sandwich glared at Jake.
Jake glared right back.
"Yippee kiyay, motherf**--"
SNAPPP!
Jake kicked the video game machine. "Oh, man, I can't believe this. Goddamn Troll..."
"Nether Fjord again?" Marco asks, sidling up next to him, drinking a soda from a sippy cup.
"Yup," Jake sighs. "Come on, I'm starving. I've got the strangest hankering for a ham sandwich."
And they skip off into the sunset. In the mall.
...Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aame XD