Okay, folks, this thread is meant to be funny, overall, so I'd like to set down a few guidelines.
First, no matter how much you think you hate the original ending, it IS NOT TO BE POSTED HERE!! Do you understand? If you want to rant about it, take it to another thread.
Second, please, let's all be nice and civil with one another. I can be just as snarky as the worst of us, but I generally choose not to, and you can do the same.
Thank you.
The Game: Re-Write the Ending. Make it as pathetically, disappointingly awful as you are capable of making it.
Then, be thankful that K.A. DIDN'T write it that way.
I'll begin. By the way, my name isn't what I say that it is, in this version of the ending, so don't get any ideas.
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My name is Alice
JakeMarcoRachelTobiasCassieAximili-Esgarrouth-IsthillEsplin 9466Elfangor-Sirinial-ShamtulDak HameeAldrea-Iskilion-FalanAzure Level, Seven Spar, Extension Two, Down-Messenger Forty-OneFatherThe One.
(I am worlds. I am endless. I contain multitudes!)
I can't tell you who I am, or where I live, because if THEY find us...well...we just won't LET them find us....
"Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about!"
"Miss, I'm going to have to sedate you if you don't calm down."
WHAT?! A needle! No! I have to tell someone!
"No. Impossible!! You're one of THEM!! Let me go! Unhand me!"
"Alice, this will only hurt for a moment."
"YEERK! YEERK! YEERK!"
I feel a sting, and everything is black and silent.
The nightmare. It's back.
"Ram the Blade Ship."I wake up screaming.
"YAAAHHHHH!!!? WHERE AM I?! Who am I? Why can't I remember anything?"
"Miss Alice, you are in the Shady Grove Sanitorium. You've been placed in our care by your mother, whom you attacked five years ago, claiming that there was a parasitic alien slug controlling her brain. Do you remember, now?"
"WHAT?!"
"Your doctors have diagnosed you with a split-personality disorder. For the past five years of your life, you've been hallucinating fantastical stories from different personalities. Stories of aliens and shape-shifters, and an invading group that took over peoples brains. You finally started to recover, but then...one of your personalities appeared to have...well...died. You went into a coma for another year...and you just woke up."
"Rachel! Where is Rachel?!"
"What? Where is whom?"
"RACHEL!! What have you done with her?"
He glanced down at the chart in his hand.
"Mmm-hmmmn. Rachel. She was your favourite personality, as I recall. Very violent. That was the one that tried to kill your mother. Fortunately, she 'died', but that was what threw you INTO the coma. Do you know what it was that brought you out?"
"Oh, no. No. NOOO!! Rachel can't be dead!! Impossible!! But...so vivid...'Ram the Blade Ship!'"
"Oh, yes. You've been repeating that phrase over and over again, for the past hour. It's how we knew that you were coming around. Alice, what is a Blade Ship?"
"It's Visser Three's personal transport and fighter."
"And...who is this 'Vis-ser Three'?"
"He's the leader of the Yeerk invasion against Earth."
"And what are Yeerks?"
I realised that I recognized this man. Balding, stout...loafers and a tweed jacket....
No.
"You."
I leapt at Chapman and drove my make-shift knife into his throat.
As blood gouted from the cut, I felt strong arms hauling me away.
I heard someone say,
"Make it permanent this time. It's more humane, and she's upsetting the other patients."
A needle found a vein in my neck, and I was HOME!!!
I was home. Flying high above a meadow, alone and peaceful.
<Tobias!> I called.
<Rachel? Is that you?>
<I'm home, Tobias! I'm home forever, now!>
The two of us, an eagle and a hawk, flew away into the endless sunset.
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So. Whaddayathink of my little writing exercise? Post some of your own! I'm curious to see what you create!
