Richard's Animorphs Forum
Animorphs Section => Animorphs Forum Classic => Topic started by: NateSean on December 16, 2010, 04:10:46 PM
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My name is (Insert name) and I am an Animorph. It's been a long fun battle, but alas, my friends have sent of me a list of things that they appreciate me adhering to.
1: I am not morph into a frog and convince a member of the opposite sex to kiss me for any reason.
2: Tobias is a human being trapped in the form of a hawk. He is not my "hall pass".
3 - Nor is he my discount card at the mall.
4 - Nor is he my "seeing eye bird".
5 - I should just leave Tobias alone all together.
6: Playing Neil Diamond's "He's not Heavy, he's my Brother" around Ax is tastelss and cruel.
7: Visser Three will not appreciate it if I "poke" him on Facebook.
8: I am not make whipping noises at Tobias' back whenever he goes to Rachel's house.
9: Rachel's mom did not appreciate me "birdwatching" outside her house.
10: Rachel's mom is also a member of the NRA and I should remember this next time.
Feel free to add on.
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11) I am not to tell anyone my surname via narration in a journal.
12) I am not allowed to tell anyone the name of my town or city.
13) I am not to insist that my mother/father/sister/brother/cousin/relative eat Instant Maple and Ginger Oatmeal.
14) I am not to join the Sharing under any circumstances.
15) I am not allowed to morph a starfish and have myself split in half just to see what I would look like from the back.
16) I am not allowed to morph Rachel or Cassie for my own selfish and perverted desires.
17) I am not allowed to morph a lion in broad daylight
18) I am not allowed to morph into a cheetah and rob jewellery stores.
19) I am not allowed to morph into injured relatives of the Berenson family.
20) I am not allowed to mix combinations of other peoples DNA to create an abnormally attractive female for my own selfish and perverted desires.
21) I am not allowed to morph rats, shrews, or anything small insects to sneak into the girls locker room.
22) I am not allowed to morph into a girl and use the girls locker room.
23) I am to stay at least 100 feet away from the girls locker room at all times.
24) I am not allowed to give Ax cinnamon buns just to "see what would hapen."
25) I am not allowed to use my fellow Animorphs for the following activities:
I)Target Practice
II) An intense game of cat and mouse
III)Bargaining chips for the Yeerks
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26) I will not yell "giddyup" at an Andalite.
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27) I will never challenge Visser Three to a staring contest.
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I am not allowed to buy Ax a saddle for his birthday.
I am not allowed to morph a girl's dog just so I can sit in her lap and lick her face, ect, for nearly two hours.
I am not allowed to morph the dog of a girl I'm interested and groin attack any boy who looks at her.
I am not allowed to morph my doctor to write out notes for the purpose of skipping school.
I am not allowed to morph a hot girl so I can get every guy in town to shower me with gifts.
I am not allowed to half morph into a wolf and terrorize the town at night as a Werewolf.
I am not allowed to morph Jake and try to lead the group after he tells me he's too sick to go on a mission.
I am not allowed to chase campers in bear morph when they leave a campfire unattended. Only got one vote for permission to do that.
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I am not allowed to morph my brother's animal that he's scared of to use it on him.
I am not allowed to tell my Mom about vissers and Andalites.
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38: Helium will not change the pitch of my thought speak voice no matter what morph I try it with. Erek will not be asked to revive me a fifth time.
39: I am not to make whipping noises at Jake's back when he goes off with Cassie.
40: I am not allowed to morph and use thought speak in a full church.
41: - Or at a drum circle full of hippies. (Even if Marco thought it was funny)
42: - Or in a mental institution.
43: - Or in a post office
44: Erek does not double as a strobe light.
45: Nor am I to ask any of the Chee to project porn.
46: If I challenge Ax to a prune juice drinking contest again, I will be the one doing his laundry.
47: I am not to make whipping noises at Rachel's back when she is with Tobias.
48 - Erek will not be asked to revive me a twentieth time.
49: I am not to hand Ax a bag of pixie sticks, a twelve pack of Jolt cola and a bin of coffee beans "just to see what will happen".
50: Having a Chee stand in for me is not the perfect time to tell every person I have wronged in anyway where I live.
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I am not allowed to invite my parents to the Sharing.
I am not allowed to tell funny jokes via thought-speak when someone is praying at church. :P
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I love the one about using thought speech in church. You could pretend to be God or Satan, depending on your mood.
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53: Asking Ax how to keep an Andalite in suspense and walking away is only funny the first time.
54: Chee can hear dog whistles too. Knock it off.
55: The Chee are hardwired for non-violence. They are not, however, required to prevent harm from coming to me. It is important that I know this.
56: Asking David how his parents are doing is counter productive.
57: Sending Rachel a fork and saying it was made by Hotori Hanzo is neither amusing nor smart.
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I love the one about using thought speech in church. You could pretend to be God or Satan, depending on your mood.
I know, it'd be so weird. :P
I cannot ask David to go buy jewelry for me. (Lame, but I thought I would never do that, since he might steal it...:P)
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I think 55 seems to depend on the writer.
I am not allowed to morph animals for the purpose of selling parts. The Anis are too young to understand that flooding the market with ivory sales would actually decrease the value of it and ruin the business.
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58) It's not nice to make "your mom" jokes in front of Marco
58.1) or Tobias
58.2) or David
58.3) or Rachel, but only because she'll beat the tar out of me.
59) Asking Ax to explain the science of Z-Space is a no-no, and a bore.
60) I'm not allowed to date any of Rachel's sisters
61) I'm not allowed to morph mice to sneak into a movie.
62) I'm not allowed to morph a parrot and freak out customers at the Pet Store.
63) I'm never allowed to let Marco drive a car, or any automobile.
64) I'm not allowed to feed Ax anything inedible (motor oil) just to "see what happens."
65) Morphing birds to sneak into the gardens is still a fellony.
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I think 55 seems to depend on the writer.
True.
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66) I am not allowed to try to rescue my parents.
67) I am not allowed to have a bed.
68) I am not allowed to have any fun.
69) I am not allowed to voice my opinion.
70) I am not allowed to watch T.V.
71) I am not allowed to go out in public.
72) I am not allowed to get pissed off about all these restrictions, lash out, and expect to be allowed to stay a human.
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^^ Hey, I always wanted to meet the forgotten Animorph. How are you, David?
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73. I am not allowed to bake Ax a ginormous cinnamon roll "for his birthday".
74. I am not allowed to challenge Ax to an eating contest.
75. I am not allowed to ask Tobias if he has seen any "hot chicks" recently.
76. I am not allowed to do any Marco suggests for fun. Ever.
77. I am not allowed to make faces behind Jake's back when he's trying to make an important point.
78. I am not allowed to ask Ax to do my physics homework.
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74: I am not to run up to known Controllers and yell "Hello in there!" Erek will not be asked to revive me. Period.
75: I do not have a "Santa" morph.
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76) I'm not allowed to morph into one of my parents and attend my own parent-teacher interview.
77) I'm not allowed to ask my friends to "stand-in" as one of my parents to attend a parent-teacher interview.
78) I'm not allowed to morph into my teacher to set up a fake parent-teacher meeting.
79) I am not allowed to morph into my older brother/cousin just for the purpose of dating his girlfriend.
80) It is frowned upon to morph birds and sneak into outdoor concerts.
81) Scaring the kids at the zoo by morphing animals and using thought speak is just being a bully.
82) I will not use my powers for financial gain.
83) Eating meat in front of Cassie is not only rude, but will result in a very long speech.
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I am not allowed to use the frolis maneuver just to show couples what their kids may look like at their current age.
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84) I am not allowed to morph a bug to sneak into the FBI/CIA/NSA to learn all their dirty secrets
85) I am not allowed to post those secrets on Wikileaks
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86. I am not allowed to trade the morphing cube for my BF's life.
87. I am NOT allowed to question Eric why he can restart hearts and re-attach limbs but yet claims that none of his people know anything medical.
88. And I'm DEFINITELY not allowed to ask post-war Jake "Why the long face?"
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I am not allowed to actually start enjoying what I do, since how I wind up after the war will be directly proportional to how much I dislike what I do.
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What number were we on? Oh well.
I will not get a trash can for Marco's birthday.
I will not dare Marco to hug Visser 3 as a joke. He might actually do it.
I will not flip off the Ellimist. Or Crayak.
I will not not pay everybody five bucks to call Crayak "crayola" for a day.
I will not use thought speech for an amazing ventriloquist act.
I will not travel to an alternate universe to bring back the Animorphs series and dangle it in front of the Animorphs'
faces.
I will not drown kittens...actually, I wouldn't do that anyway.
I will not morph pigeon to seek revenge.
I will not challenge Ax to a "quiet mouse" game. He would always win. Unless I morphed a mouse, in which I would win and
bring a whole new meaning to the game...
I will not morph Marco to confuse the other Animorphs.
I will not mroph border collie and save little boys who have fallen down the well just to freak people out. But I'd
probably keep the nickname. (That's a stretch, isn't it?)
I WOULD explain to Ax why humans wear clothing. Seriously, why didn't they ever just explain it to him?
I will not feed Ax chapstick.
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103. I will not ask Erek if he can be destroyed using a logic paradox (see Futurama).
104. I will not ask Rachel what happened "to that David guy."
105. I will not buy Rachel a bear skin rug for Christmas.
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105. I will not buy Rachel a bear skin rug for Christmas.
That (or rather the reverse) is totally going into my fanfic if I ever get that far into it.
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106) I will learn to distinguish fantasy from reality before authorizing the genocide of any alien species.
107) I will never, ever again greet Ellimist with "what s'up, loser?"
108) I will not morph Leeran at a funeral. We have a "filter" for a reason, folks!
109) As funny as it might be to greet Chee with "how's it goin', dawg?" under no circumstances is "yo, ****" acceptable or appreciated.
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110: I'm not allowed stay over the two hour morphing limit.
111: I'm not allowed to morph a chicken and half my head cut off just to "see what would happen."
112: I'm not allowed to call James "Wheels."
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113) I'm not allowed to tell Ax where a cotton candy factory is located.
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114) I am not to acquire every fly that lands on me so I can impress my friends with my awesome fly-swatting skills.
115) I am not to sign any contracts... with anyone.
116) I am not allowed to make explosions to try and start another Sario Rip.
117) I am not allowed to go back to the construction site to look for the morphing cube, just in case it's still there....
118) I may not use echolocation to search for sunken treasure.
119) I am not allowed to change my passwords to '6'.
120) I am not supposed to make Halloween costumes of any aliens I encounter, even if they would be awesome.
121) I am not allowed to morph when I want to get rid of acne, scratches, rashes, bruises, etc.
122) I am not to sit on tigers.
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123) I am not allowed to morph a goat that's going to be killed only to demorph to scare my parents. :P
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I'm doing this in 2nd person, as if I were talking to them. :P
124) Don't ever, EVER, try acquiring Visser Three when he's in a bad mood. He'll get pissed off, to say the very least...
125) Do NOT share any personal information on the Internet. Especially not your location and last name.
126) Don't even think about morphing plants or bacteria. It wouldn't be that pleasant if it actually worked.
127) Don't ask K. A. Applegate why exactly you, out of all people on Earth, has to fight the Yeerks.
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105. I will not buy Rachel a bear skin rug for Christmas.
That (or rather the reverse) is totally going into my fanfic if I ever get that far into it.
I think that's the greatest compliment I've ever gotten.
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I posted these awhile ago, but I figure I may as well put them here too.
128. Don't talk about being an Animorph.
129. No, seriously, never talk about being an Animorph.
130. Don't get between Ax in human morph and a cinnabun
* Or a stick of gum
* Or a Cigarette butt
* Just avoid anything remotely close to being edible when near Ax
131. Marco being in love with Jake doesn't make him gay.
* I should therefore stop asking him out.
132. Doing anything remotely close to flirting with Tobias within earshot of Rachel can only end with pain.
133. Having matching morphing suits is NOT a good idea.
*Even though Marco agrees with me.
134. Ax doesn't understand baseball or jokes about baseball and I need to stop trying to teach him 'Who's on first'.
135. Trying to turn a battle into a musical number is a bad idea.
136. Toby doesn't appreciate me teaching her father how to play 'fetch'.
137. No matter how hard I try, Jara will never understand how to play 'fetch'.
138. Calling Tobias 'Emo-hawk' will result in talons slashing my face.
139. I should never use my morphing ability to reenact scenes from 'The Fly'.
140. Everyone's ring tones are just fine and I should leave them alone.
* However, Rachel's keeping 'Misery Business'
141. I should not wear my leather vest around Cassie.
142. Yes, Tom is hot; no, I can't ask him out.
143. Cassie didn't meet anyone named 'Nate' in Australia, so I should stop asking.
144. Running away is not a valid battle plan.
145. Just because I can mix morphs to resemble a gryphon doesn't mean I should.
146. I should not refer to Erek as a 'Fraking Toaster'
147. Kicking puppies within view of Erek is a death sentence.
*even if he's technically incapable of violence he'll find away.
148. Writing a paper on Andalite physiology for my biology course is a bad idea.
149. Just because someone is hot, it doesn't mean they should be an Animorph.
150. I am the only one allowed to drive, not matter what Marco says.
151. I can't suggest that we all morph crocodiles.
*Or starfish.
152. I shouldn't teach Ax to swear in Spanish.
* Or Welsh
* Or French
* Or Klingon
153. We are a secret resistance group, and therefore don't need a softball team.
154. I should never try to discuss Sauron with Jake.
155. Erek doesn't know which celebrities are controllers, and I should stop asking.
156. When Rachel says 'Let's do it' she means whatever crazy plan we just came up with and is not making me an offer.
157. Yes, Elfangor technically invented Windows; no, Tobias does not get royalties.
158. I am not allowed to take out classified ads and put vague warnings, it only leads to confusion.
159. Jake hates it when I call him 'Tiger' in a seductive tone.
160. Yeerks aren't airborne, so I don't need a surgical mask.
*But I'm not taking any chances!
161. Morphing bat wings and walking into a crowded church is a bad idea.
162. Morphing dove wings and walking into a crowded church is also a bad idea.
163. Even though I am technically a superhero I do not need a cape.
164. Bringing Hayley Williams to a super secret Animorph meeting was a bad idea.
*Hayley Williams is now an Animorph.
165. Just because Hayley is part of the team doesn't mean that my musical number idea is now valid battle plan.
166. Musing about what it would be like if we lived in 1602 serves no purpose, and I should stop.
*I still think it'd be interesting
167. I am not allowed to tell aliens that I am the president of Earth.
168. Even though everyone knows Rachel is a horrible leader it is still a bad idea to tell her.
169. Rachel is not a Slayer and I need to stop asking if she is.
170. Marco isn't going out with me, so I need to stop asking.
171. Ax has never heard of The Doctor, Time Lords, or Gallifrey, and asking him ten times isn't going to change his answer.
172. The others don't want to talk about the dinosaur incident, and I need to stop asking.
173. I should never step on bugs in front of Jake or Marco.
174. 'Animorphs: The Musical' is a bad idea, no matter how good Rachel is at dancing in grizzly morph.
175. I should not create a Sario Rip just to make out with Marco again.
176. Guns don't kill people, Visser 3 does.
177. Just because I can use thought-speak doesn't mean I can read minds.
178. Humans can't shoot lasers from their eyes and I should stop telling that to the aliens we meet.
179. The Hork-Bajir are sentient creatures, and are therefore not my pets.
180. I should not ask Crayak if he wants some Clear Eyes eye drops.
181. I should not have named my pet rats 'Amy' and 'David', no matter how funny I think it is.
182. Ax doesn't like being ridden.
*Or being called 'Princess Rainbowkins'
183. A Peter Pan outfit is not a proper morphing suit, even if it works as one
184. Challenging Rachel's status as fashion queen is a bad idea.
185. Throwing mud at Rachel to see if she is really immune to dirt is a bad idea.
*Even if it's true.
186. Holding something just above Marco's reach is not funny.
*Even if Jake thinks so.
*And Rachel
*And Tobias
*And Cassie
*On second thought it is funny.
187. We do not need a theme song.
*But 'Animal I have Become' is perfect
188. Eva is bad-ass because she is Visser 1, and therefore can not join the team.
189. Riding a Hork-Bajir may look cool, but it's still a bad idea.
190. My Ford Escort is NOT the 'Morphmobile'
191. Surprisingly morphing a cow doesn't make one feel bad about eating steak.
192. I should never say 'What's the worst that could happen?' because I will always get an answer.
193. No matter how hard I try, I will never convince Marco that making out with me will make him taller.
194. Rachel and tobias have never had 'Freaky Hawk Sex' and I should stop asking.
195. Yes the Ellimist can bend space and time; no he will not make a M. C. Escher staircase for me.
196. Ax has never heard of anything by the name of 'Estelore', 'Esty', or 'That Star Girl' and I should stop asking.
197. I shouldn't morph Lindsey Lohan just to fuel Lesbian rumors.
198. I shouldn't morph Miley Cyrus just to attack Selena Gomez.
199. Despite my belief otherwise, Selena Gomez is NOT Visser 7.
200. I shouldn't have uploaded that video of Marco break dancing as a gorilla.
*even if it was wicked sweet.
201. Taxxon's are faster then they look.
202. Clawing your way out of something's gut sounds awesome. It isn't...
203. If I ask Marco out one more time, I'm yeerk bait.
204. I can't control minds, and it's very bad to suggest that I can.
205. Singing 'The Song That Never Ends' in loud thought speak during battles actually works rather well.
206. Falling in the yeerk pool generally ends with one becoming a controller.
207. One out of one Yeerks agree, Kadrona Starvation is preferable to being trapped in my head.
208. The Animorphs do not need a band page on Myspace.
* Even with my sweet kazoo skillz.
209. Al Gore didn't need to know about the yeerks.
210. Just because I can morph Sarah Palin, doesn't mean I should.
* No, really, it's a BAD idea.
211. A certain yeerk with an andalite body has a thing for Sarah Palin...
* I hate Marco sometimes
212. Using my powers to fight crime is not as good of an idea as it sounds.
213. Using my powers to be a super-villian is not as good of an idea as it sounds.
214. Time travel leads to people becoming mini-Nazi's, Dying, then coming back even more broody then before.
215. Turns out that I CAN read minds.
*I'll never look at Rachel an Tobias the same way again...
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I don't know if I should be impressed or terrified so here goes mine:
216: Tobias is human to and I should never againcover him with barbecue sauce while he sleeps.
217: I should not morph pit bull to scare Justin Bieber.
218: No matter how many timnes I ask Ax he says morphing didn't create the platypus so I should stop asking about it.
219: Asking Rachel out can only lead to another Sario Rip.
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228:I am not allowed to call Marco "monkey man" in public.
229: Morphing just enough to give myself tiger stripes and leading a zoo wide break out is wrong.
230: Morphing a fat man with a white beard and then robbing houses on Christmas will not be tolerated.
231: I am not allowed to us e the morphing power to make "animal encounter" videos for youtube.
232: If I even mention the name "David" Rachel will rip my limbs off without morphing.
233: I am not allowed to morph helmacrons then ride in toy cars.
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I am not allowed to wear a ranger hat on top of a grizzly bear morph in order to go as Smokey Bear on Halloween.
I am not allowed to half morph a black cat- ears and tail- in order to go as CatWoman to ComicCon.
Nor am I allowed to half morph a fox and go to any anime convention.
Probably best if I avoid conventions altogether.
I am not allowed to suggest to Marco that he recommend to Rachel that she get her next morphing outfit from Victoria's Secret. My bank account is insufficient to pay for his hospital bills that such a recommendation would result in.
I am not allowed to attempt to create sufficient funds in my bank by using thought-speak to convince Bill Gates that God exists and God really wants him to donate a sizable amount to the Save Intrepid (from ever having to work again) Fund.
However, attempting the same thing on certain greedy televangelists who are Christian only in name, who own private jets and ten sports cars, is perfect ethical justice.
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236: I am not allowed to morph cow then drop poo all over my neighbors lawn to show him what it feels like.
237: I am not allowed to ask Ax a science question because last time I did he almost went over the two hour time limit talking.
238: Now matter how much it may save the environment I am not allowed to steal an electric Ferrari Tesla.
239: Losing at poker gives me no right morph gorilla and put the dealer in a headlock.
240:Dame with losing at blackjack.
241: Gambling is wrong
242: We cannot morph the-A-team
243: I cannot partially morph giraffe just to get on rides that I'm not normally tall enough to ride on.
244: I cannot morph adults just to drink.
245: No matter how funny it may be I cannot stare inside inside the window of a mental asylum half morphed fly, until somebody notices me.
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As far as 245 goes, do you think it would be creepy if you did that, and the person didn't react at all?
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How does one not react to a two foot long vaguely human face with huge shattered eys and a sucker thingy. And as for "would it be creepy" how yould you feel with that staring at you.
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It depends on what the insane person thinks s/he sees or hears from day to day. If the person sees or hears the kind of stuff every day to the point where seeing that doesn't phase him or her, that would be creepy.
Of course it would bother me, though. I'm sane and rational.
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ok stare inside the break room for the guards
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Hide! Don't let seal come!
246. I will not sing about Rachel and Tobias sitting in a tree and the rest. Yes, I know that Rachel does go to Tobias' tree.
247. I will not burn down a cinnabun anywhere near Ax.
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248: Partially doing a frolis maneuver between a bear and a gorilla will not get me drafted to the oakland raiders
*but it almost worked when I tried to get on the Los Angeless Kings
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Wow. I didn't know anyone had started this back up, gread add ons guys.
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249: Helmacron breeding is not the firs step to making pokemon in real life
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250: I'm not allowed to tell Tobias a "dead girlfriend" joke
251: I'm not allowed to ask Cassie if she has survivor's guilt
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252: An andalites weakness is not being poked in the eye and I should stop annoying Ax with it.
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253# I am never to tease Tobais or Rachel will rip out my throat
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254: I am not allowed to "train" ax to stand on two legs
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(Please note that I kinda tired and a bit hyper from cookies. Sorry if it's too gender specific/girly.
I always thought this was a free for all kind of thread, judging by some other posts concerning
things about girls.) I guess when it comes to Tobias, I am a cougar, yes? ::)
254: I am not allowed to stalk Tobias.
255: I cannot violate the 100 foot radius restraining order Rachel has placed on me
256: I cannot ask Rachel "Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"
257:...Then ask Tobias out.
258:... And try to "accidentally" trap him in human morph.
259: If Rachel comes after me in elephant and/or grizzly morph afterwards, I must understand that I deserve it and no one will help me. Not even Cassie.
260:...And that Marco WILL be watching with popcorn and laughing at my subsequent massacre.
261: I am not allowed to morph and try to stalk any celebrity.
262:...Not even if they are really hot.
263:...not even if I have "evidence" that they may well be a controller.
264: I am also not allowed to morph someone better looking/taller/older/younger/richer/thinner/more blonde
then myself in order to try to ask a celebrity on a date.
265:...Or do so in order to attract their attention to ask me on a date.
266: I am not allowed to morph someone taller then myself just to "Stop all the short jokes."
267: I am also not allowed to morph a gorilla or something to get back at the bully who was making all
the short jokes at my expense.
268: I am not allowed to partially morph a fly to scare my siblings in revenge for years of teasing, even if
they rightfully deserve it.
269: Weirding them out with thought-speak is however, is perfectly justified.
270: I am not allowed to tell Ax what the purpose of diapers is.
271:...Or gross him out by telling him where human babies come from.
272: I also can't show Ax "That video from health class" ever again, because it scarred him for life...and Jake destroyed it.
273: Ax's tail is not a toy, jump rope or anything else.
274: I am not allowed to ask Ax if he can kick like a horse.
275: I not allowed to feed Ax non-food items while he's in human morph "Just to see what happens."
276: I am not allowed to tape Ax's mouth shut while he is human when he starts annoying me
by playing with words.
277: I am not allowed to go around telling people that human Ax is "My boyfriend" just because I can't find
a real one and he is very pretty.
278: I may not put human Ax in a wig and dress "Just to see if he'd make a pretty girl."
279:...No putting make-up on him either.
280: For the last time, no, I cannot morph a man "Just to see how the other half lives."
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281: i'm not allowed to morph a man-eating-lion and actually eat a man
282: unless they are trying to kill me, in which case after i kill them, i'm not allowed to sell their kidneys, or liver, or heart, or bone marrow
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283: Ozzy Ozbourne is not a controller and I should stop following him.
284: Neither is justin Beiber.
285: But Rebecca Black is.
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286. I can't morph into any bug-be it fly, roach, ant, or caterpillar-to go watch my crush
insid their house...again.
287. I can't let Ax eat deoderant "Just because it's there."
288. I can't sing the theme song to Rave Master in thoughtspeak just to drive Visser Three insane...even if it was funny.
289. I cannot do the same to my fellow Animorphs because Rachel will do horrible things to me.
290. I cannot give Ax a box full of bottles of Tabasco sauce "Just to see what will happen."
291. ...Or hot peppers.
292. ...Or pineapples.
293. I cannot scare Rachel's sisters with my powers. It will not end well, and after the tenth time, (And
being revived again) I should know this.
294. I may not set Ax loose in human morph at an all you can eat buffet...again.
295. ...Even if swear people won't get hurt this time.
296. I may not use my powers to try and put a stop to Justin Beiber's very annoying career.
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297: Bird morphing is not "extreme parachuting"
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Wow, I took a lot of numbers in just two posts. Sorry about that!
298. I cannot make a beanie baby based off Ax's likeness and sell
it to TY inc. to make millions.
299. Likewise, I cannot take Ax in his true form to the nearest Toys R Us and
try to market him as the newest Wowwee Alive "robotic" pet toy to make
money off some poor shlup with a whiny kid and money to burn.
Edit:
(Just thought of a brilliant one!--And I'm not even a fan of TCON.)
300. I am not allowed to morph a lion and go around pretending to be Aslan.
Especially not at elementary schools with-highly impressionable and still not quite able to tell the difference between
reality and fiction-children.
...Jeez, like I said, I don't like TCON that much, but that idea just sounds like it's dripping of awesome with a side of win!
*Is a dork*
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((you know alot of people mention riding ax but I seem to remember it being mentioned that andalites have a sloped back so that if you sat on one you would fall right off.))
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299. Likewise, I cannot take Ax in his true form to the nearest Toys R Us and
try to market him as the newest Wowwee Alive "robotic" pet toy to make
money off some poor shlup with a whiny kid and money to burn.
Not at the low end retail demographic at any case.
((you know alot of people mention riding ax but I seem to remember it being mentioned that andalites have a sloped back so that if you sat on one you would fall right off.))
And Helmacrons starting the Pokemon movement makes sense how?
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their small enough to hold in small balls and you can make them fight each other
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((you know alot of people mention riding ax but I seem to remember it being mentioned that andalites have a sloped back so that if you sat on one you would fall right off.))
Yeah, but it's also true that Loren rode Elfangor in TAC, so it is apparently possible to ride an Andalite.
301. Dolphin rodeo is a bad idea, but Andalite rodeo is even worse.
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302: Hit and runs are fine to annoy the yeerks but vandalizing the blade ship is uncalled for.
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303. Pouring bubble bath into the Yeerk pool isn't as funny as I think it is.
304. Mythbusters should NOT test how much cobra venom it would take to kill a grizzly bear.
305. I cannot morph anything that doesn't have DNA. I will stop trying to morph a credit card.
306. I am not to use Plintconarhythmic physics to show my work on a math test.
307. Those black things on the ceiling are security cameras. I will keep that in mind next time I'm looking for a place to morph.
308. Remember those little cards that they gave out as Happy Meal toys a long time ago during that Animorphs promotion, that supposedly had DNA on them that you could acquire? They don't.
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309) I will not go to the Iskroot planet and sell my memories just so I can live like a king.
310) Morphing a vulture and chasing people down the street, while screaming "Give me you flesh", is not the "in" thing to do.
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311. mixing random people's dna in order to create a morph looking like a famous dead person is apparently not acceptable
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I should never give Ax a bowl of habenero chilis coated with hot sauce and jalepeno seeds just to "see what will happen"
I shouldnt try to morph 2 animals at the same time to create a new species
I shouldnt partly morph into a bat and freak people out as a vampire
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315: If uniforms aren't allowed then super-names areo ut of the question
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316 I will not call Rachel "Buffy" and ask her if she wants to go slaying
317 I will not morph chimp just to put on a costume and go trick or treating as Zira (Planet of the Apes ref, I'm a fan of it too)
318 Nor will I get my friends to morph apes with me and orchestrate an ape uprising to take over the world
319 I will not yell to Visser Three that the villiain on Tracker is cooler than him AND has telekenesis
320 I will not morph celebrities just to visit their TV show sets. Nor will I morph their wives/girlfriends just to go on a date with them
321 We had a list like this at LJ and I loved it. I remember a couple. And now I so want to either dig out the post or find the hard copy I printed out.
322 I will not yell "I choose you" before I morph
323 I will not send copies of the Evil Overlord List to Visser Three
324 I will not organize synchronized swim day at the yeerk pool
Edit: Here it is, I found it....I love you, Google
http://animorphs.livejournal.com/359283.html?view=10104435#t10104435 (http://animorphs.livejournal.com/359283.html?view=10104435#t10104435)
325 I love the Sario Rip is not a hole in the Matrix one.
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Please number them. It makes it easier to present as a "list"
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Sorry about that.
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its fine, as long as you know in the future
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No problem :)
Should I ask permission to copy more of the LJ ones onto here for the list? It might make it easier.
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feel free to
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More of mine
326 Morphing rats, mice or insects (or large scary creatures) to freak out siblings is not appropriate use of the morphing power
327 Neither is morphing fly to land on the teacher's desk and read all the test answers
328 Or using said fly for sneaking into bathrooms where I don't belong
(there's actually a book that makes me think of that. It's called 'Fly on the Wall' and the main character wishes to be a fly on the wall and wakes up as one)
329 Tobias will not appreciate being called Polly and he does not want a cracker
330. Visser Three will not like being called Lord Vader (or would he? lol)
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331. I will not morph in front of patients at a mental institute... no matter how funny Marco thought it was.
332. I will not acquire wild animals and pretend to be the animal whisperer.
333. I will not bribe Ax with the cure for fleas to get him to help me pull pranks.
334. I will not give Ax fleas so I can bribe him with the cure.
335. I will not tell Ax itching powder is the cure for fleas. Again.
336. I will not not ask Rachel to clean the carpet.
337. I will not show off my impersonation skills over Skype or telephone.
338. Under no circumstances am I to tell Ax about buffets.
339. Or ask Tobias about thermals.
340. I will not play cat and mouse with David.
341. I will not play "got your nose" with hork bajir. They play back.
342. I will not play with the time matrix and insist people call me The Doctor.
343. I will not use the time matrix to pass history class.
344. Or to get a hover board.
345. I will not dress as Dracula and morph a bat to win a costume contest.
346. I will not morph an octopus and convince people I am an elder god.
347. I will not morph a lemur and sing "I like to move it".
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341. I will not play "got your nose" with hork bajir. They play back.
All of these were funny, but this one was my favorite.
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All of these are great, but...
49: I am not to hand Ax a bag of pixie sticks, a twelve pack of Jolt cola and a bin of coffee beans "just to see what will happen".
I figure being hopped on caffeine from Starbucks contributed to his mall freakout in #5 The Predator, so this is a serious concern.
79) I am not allowed to morph into my older brother/cousin just for the purpose of dating his girlfriend.
Indeed you aren't. If sex is involved, it's rape by deception, to impersonate someone they would give consent to. For another pop culture example, this happened in Revenge of the Nerds.
I will not travel to an alternate universe to bring back the Animorphs series and dangle it in front of the Animorphs'
faces.
I thought of a similar issue with crossovers. A fandom might exist as fiction in another fandom, so it would be weird to portray that fandom as both fiction and nonfiction. For example, modern literature would be canon as a piece of fiction in a future Earth story, but it would be weird to bring that up in a crossover between the two.
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348. One does not simply absorb dangerous animal.
349. In Soviet Russia, you don't morph into Andalite. Andalite morphs you
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I am not allowed to morph a tiger and run around on peoples roofs.
I am not allowed to morph a lion within a mile of any subdivision.
I must return these to the beach shop.
I mustn't leave my ferret in any elevators next time I visit.
I must sign this contract requiring me to smooch occasionally with individuals to be specified in the other available spaces.
I musn't give my full name.
I must not drink cold liquids. and when I do, pretend to be bored by them.
I mustn't smuggle oatmeal.
I mustn't fill trains up with bombs and redirect them to cliffs while still inside them.
I must not utter a single discouraging word even when something as bad as my entire life occurs.
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