Things I Am Not Allowed To Do as an Animorph

[NateSean]

My name is (Insert name) and I am an Animorph. It's been a long fun battle, but alas, my friends have sent of me a list of things that they appreciate me adhering to.


1: I am not morph into a frog and convince a member of the opposite sex to kiss me for any reason.
2: Tobias is a human being trapped in the form of a hawk. He is not my "hall pass".
3 - Nor is he my discount card at the mall.
4 - Nor is he my "seeing eye bird".
5 - I should just leave Tobias alone all together.
6: Playing Neil Diamond's "He's not Heavy, he's my Brother" around Ax is tastelss and cruel.
7: Visser Three will not appreciate it if I "poke" him on Facebook.
8: I am not make whipping noises at Tobias' back whenever he goes to Rachel's house.
9: Rachel's mom did not appreciate me "birdwatching" outside her house.
10: Rachel's mom is also a member of the NRA and I should remember this next time.

Feel free to add on.

[TobiasMasonPark]

     11) I am not to tell anyone my surname via narration in a journal.
     12) I am not allowed to tell anyone the name of my town or city.
     13) I am not to insist that my mother/father/sister/brother/cousin/relative eat Instant Maple and Ginger Oatmeal.
     14) I am not to join the Sharing under any circumstances.
     15) I am not allowed to morph a starfish and have myself split in half just to see what I would look like from the back.
     16) I am not allowed to morph Rachel or Cassie for my own selfish and perverted desires.
     17) I am not allowed to morph a lion in broad daylight
     18) I am not allowed to morph into a cheetah and rob jewellery stores.
     19) I am not allowed to morph into injured relatives of the Berenson family.
     20) I am not allowed to mix combinations of other peoples DNA to create an abnormally attractive female for my own selfish and perverted desires.
     21) I am not allowed to morph rats, shrews, or anything small insects to sneak into the girls locker room.
     22) I am not allowed to morph into a girl and use the girls locker room.
     23) I am to stay at least 100 feet away from the girls locker room at all times.
     24) I am not allowed to give Ax cinnamon buns just to "see what would hapen."
     25) I am not allowed to use my fellow Animorphs for the following activities:
          I)Target Practice
          II) An intense game of cat and mouse
          III)Bargaining chips for the Yeerks

[Semeir-Cooraf-Armaheen]

26) I will not yell "giddyup" at an Andalite.

[TobiasMasonPark]

     27) I will never challenge Visser Three to a staring contest.

[Chad32]

I am not allowed to buy Ax a saddle for his birthday.

I am not allowed to morph a girl's dog just so I can sit in her lap and lick her face, ect, for nearly two hours.

I am not allowed to morph the dog of a girl I'm interested and groin attack any boy who looks at her.

I am not allowed to morph my doctor to write out notes for the purpose of skipping school.

I am not allowed to morph a hot girl so I can get every guy in town to shower me with gifts.

I am not allowed to half morph into a wolf and terrorize the town at night as a Werewolf.

I am not allowed to morph Jake and try to lead the group after he tells me he's too sick to go on a mission.

I am not allowed to chase campers in bear morph when they leave a campfire unattended. Only got one vote for permission to do that.

[Josh (J)]

I am not allowed to morph my brother's animal that he's scared of to use it on him.

I am not allowed to tell my Mom about vissers and Andalites.

[NateSean]

38: Helium will not change the pitch of my thought speak voice no matter what morph I try it with. Erek will not be asked to revive me a fifth time.

39: I am not to make whipping noises at Jake's back when he goes off with Cassie.

40: I am not allowed to morph and use thought speak in a full church.
 41: - Or at a drum circle full of hippies. (Even if Marco thought it was funny)
 42: - Or in a mental institution.
 43: - Or in a post office

44: Erek does not double as a strobe light.

45: Nor am I to ask any of the Chee to project porn.

46: If I challenge Ax to a prune juice drinking contest again, I will be the one doing his laundry.

47: I am not to make whipping noises at Rachel's back when she is with Tobias.
48 - Erek will not be asked to revive me a twentieth time.

49: I am not to hand Ax a bag of pixie sticks, a twelve pack of Jolt cola and a bin of coffee beans "just to see what will happen".

50: Having a Chee stand in for me is not the perfect time to tell every person I have wronged in anyway where I live.

[Josh (J)]

I am not allowed to invite my parents to the Sharing.
I am not allowed to tell funny jokes via thought-speak when someone is praying at church.

[Chad32]

I love the one about using thought speech in church. You could pretend to be God or Satan, depending on your mood.

[NateSean]

53: Asking Ax how to keep an Andalite in suspense and walking away is only funny the first time.

54: Chee can hear dog whistles too. Knock it off.

55: The Chee are hardwired for non-violence. They are not, however, required to prevent harm from coming to me. It is important that I know this.

56: Asking David how his parents are doing is counter productive.

57: Sending Rachel a fork and saying it was made by Hotori Hanzo is neither amusing nor smart.

[Josh (J)]

I love the one about using thought speech in church. You could pretend to be God or Satan, depending on your mood.

I know, it'd be so weird.
I cannot ask David to go buy jewelry for me. (Lame, but I thought I would never do that, since he might steal it...)

[Chad32]

I think 55 seems to depend on the writer.

I am not allowed to morph animals for the purpose of selling parts. The Anis are too young to understand that flooding the market with ivory sales would actually decrease the value of it and ruin the business.

[TobiasMasonPark]

     58) It's not nice to make "your mom" jokes in front of Marco
         58.1) or Tobias
         58.2) or David
         58.3) or Rachel, but only because she'll beat the tar out of me.
     59) Asking Ax to explain the science of Z-Space is a no-no, and a bore.
     60) I'm not allowed to date any of Rachel's sisters
     61) I'm not allowed to morph mice to sneak into a movie.
     62) I'm not allowed to morph a parrot and freak out customers at the Pet Store.
     63) I'm never allowed to let Marco drive a car, or any automobile.
     64) I'm not allowed to feed Ax anything inedible (motor oil) just to "see what happens."
     65) Morphing birds to sneak into the gardens is still a fellony.

[NateSean]

I think 55 seems to depend on the writer.

True.

[MoppingBear]

66) I am not allowed to try to rescue my parents.

67) I am not allowed to have a bed.

68) I am not allowed to have any fun.

69) I am not allowed to voice my opinion.

70) I am not allowed to watch T.V.

71) I am not allowed to go out in public.

72) I am not allowed to get pissed off about all these restrictions, lash out, and expect to be allowed to stay a human.