Author Topic: Memoirs of a RAFian  (Read 636718 times)

0 Members and 4 Guests are viewing this topic.

guitarhero01234

  • Guest
Re: Memoirs of a RAFian
« Reply #5475 on: March 02, 2016, 11:34:06 AM »
Question of the century right there. :P

redtailedsaffa

  • Guest
Re: Memoirs of a RAFian
« Reply #5476 on: March 02, 2016, 11:35:17 AM »
Damn, that was a twist of fate I did not see coming. Hamstern, that is.

Offline Cloak

  • Disciple of Weird Al
  • God
  • ********
  • Posts: 11579
  • Karma: 351
  • Gender: Male
  • 188 of 1,657 "Memoirs" books completed
Re: Memoirs of a RAFian
« Reply #5477 on: March 02, 2016, 08:32:45 PM »
*nods*

Just a warning, this chapter, last of this book, will be a bit on the dark side.

New chapter.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE:
Fears and Sadism

"Oh, now this looks familiar," Cloak's mother was saying. She was sitting on a cliff, as Shadow was hanging from a cliff. She looked older . . . the scene was disturbingly similar to Cloak's nightmare. Shadow's grandmother, Cloak's mother, chuckled as she spoke again, "oh, I remember."

Then her tone became serious.

"This is just they way your uncle looked before he died," she said. Then she buried her ursine claws into Shadow's monkey paws, which cause her a shriek of pain. "And now my little secret --"

She leaned close to Shadow's ear, and said,"I killed Elements Master Cloak."

Then she made to fling Shadow off --

"No!!" Cloak roared, as the entire scene evaporated into nothingness. It wasn't real. "No! No no no no!"

"You're scared!"came a hissy, raspy voice. It belonged to a wolverine Realm Walker in a yellow cloak. "You're frightened! You're afraid!"

Cloak was silent but his heavy breathing. But, when he spoke, it was full of strength and vigor. "I am scared. I am frightened. I am afraid."

Cloak looked up and looked the wolverine in the eye, and continued, "But not of you. I am scared of my mother using Shadow like she used me. Frightened of my mother using Shadow as a weapon against me, by turning her against me, as she did with me me and my own father."

Cloak stood up straight and tall, squared his shoulders, and he said, "That is what I fear. Not you."

The wolverine Realm Walker smiled a disconcerting, toothy grin, as she was enveloped in the mist around them.

"Wait! Where is Aniyu?" Cloak called out. "Tell me! TELL ME!!!"

But she was gone, and Cloak was out of leads.

***

"Please," came a weary, pleading voice. That of a child. "Stop hurting me."

"Oh," came the sound of a cruel, disappointed voice, "you still have some virtue left within you. Such a pity. That means we must continue another round."

"No! Please, no!" the boy beseeched, hoping to find some compassion in his tormentor. But she had none.

"Alas, still too polite." The cruel voice was as trenchant and brutal as any monster this boy knew.

The boy screamed in pain as his tormentor had pressed a button which caused him excruciating pain, unlike any the child had ever felt before. What did he ever do to deserve this kind of punishment? What possible sin could he have perpetrated that would warrant such --

She pushed the button again. The emaciated child shrieked again, his sandy hair plastered to his face and head due to the heavy level of sweat that was being issued from him in copious amounts, and looking far too thin for his frame.

"Why . . . wh-why . . . ?" the boy begged, attempting an entreaty to stop his pain and torment.

She pushed the button again, before deigning to reply, "Why? Well, my dear boy, the answer is simple."

She stepped into the light revealing herself, unsurprisingly, to be Malice. She activated button yet again, before continuing, apparently getting a sadomasochistic thrill from it, "Why, to prove that it can be done, dear boy!"

She pressed the button again. There seemed to be no reason behind it.

"Turning virtue into vice, turning selflessness into selfishness," Malice said, almost bored. "Breaking your will, breaking your very sanity -- now that's just fun."

She pressed the button again.


Book 189: "Shenecron's Pets"
Chapter 4: "First Attempt"
(January 7, 2020)

RAFians Referenced Specifically: Demos.

Offline Cloak

  • Disciple of Weird Al
  • God
  • ********
  • Posts: 11579
  • Karma: 351
  • Gender: Male
  • 188 of 1,657 "Memoirs" books completed
Re: Memoirs of a RAFian
« Reply #5478 on: March 03, 2016, 12:07:14 AM »
New chapter.

BOOK CXV:
TO TELL THE TRUTH

CHAPTER ONE:
The RAFian Song

It was a crisp, February morning, and Bern Bridges was sleeping at his radio station. He awoke suddenly and sang:

"One Monday mornin', I got up late,
And there were these RAFians outside the gate.
The guard tried to stop them, but he had no luck.
The RAFians got free and they run amok.
I don't know what to say. The RAFians won't do.
"

Ash, GH, and Underseen, the RAFians in question, sang:

"Don't know what to say the RAFians won't do."

Bridges repeated:

"I don't know what to say the RAFians won't do."

The trio repeated:

"Don't know what to say the RAFians won't do."

Bridges sang:

"My office was run by the station nurse.
I came downstairs and what could be worse?
The RAFians was doing a crazy dance.
They put buggies in my underpants.
I don't know what to say the RAFians won't do.
"

The trio repeated the chorus:

"Don't know what to say the RAFians won't do."

Bridges sang:

"RAFians dance, then I dance, too."

Then the three repeated the chorus:

"Don't know what to say the RAFians won't do."

Bridges sang another verse:

"I ran outside to get a schtick,
But I'm telling you, friends, those RAFians was quick,
'Cause when I returned, much to my disgrace,
Those RAFians had the nurse in a fond embrace!
"

She sang:

"I don't know what to say the RAFians won't do."

GH sang:

"For a cigarette, I'll give you a clue."

Underseen sang:

"I didn't know your eyes were blue."

"Boys," Ash said, with a shrug to the audience, "go fig."

Bridges sang:

"I don't know what to say the RAFians won't do."

Then he fled to his home. Once there, he sang:

"I went to my bath for a shower and shave.
Them RAFians gonna put me into my grave!
The entire bathroom was laid to waste,
And they shaved my head with minty toothpaste!
I don't know what to say the RAFians won't do.
"

The trio sang the chorus:

"Don't know what to say the RAFians won't do."

Bridges declared:

"They're crazy nutso! I'm tellin' you!"

The trio sang again:

"Don't know what to say the monkeys won't do."

Bridges sang again:

"Well, by this time, I was feelin' dread.
They was usin' a shoebrush to shine me head.
I asked them to leave, but they stayed around.
They pulled the chain, and, WHEE, I went down!
I don't know what to say the RAFians won't do.
"

The trio sang:

"Don't know what to say the RAFians won't do."

Bridges sang:

"Call my lawyer! I'm ready to sue!"

The trio, who Bridges thought he had managed to elude, sang:

"Don't know what to say the RAFians won't do."

Bridges ran away, screaming in frustration. Then he sang:

"Well, my patience ran out and I'm telling you sure,
Tomorrow, I show those RAFians the door!
And, if they don't leave, I'm inviting you
To my house for dumplings and RAFian stew!
I don't know what to say the RAFians won't do.
"

The trio sang:

"Don't know what to say the RAFians won't do."

Bridges sang:

"Now I'm in the stew. Aw, pooh."

The trio sang:

"Don't know what to say the RAFians won't do."

Bridges sang, as he fked the scene:

"Watch out for RAFians! I'm telling you!"

The trio ended the song singing:

"Don't know what to say the RAFians won't do.
We're not monkeys, we're just cuckoo!
Don't know what to say! The RAFians won't do!
"

SNAP!!

"Melissa, wake up!" came an impatient voice. It was Broken. "I know History of Magic is a boring field, but do try and pay atrention, at least, please?"


* Source song: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CKY5zHILK00


Book 189: "Shenecron's Pets"
Chapter 4: "First Attempt"
(January 7, 2020)

RAFians Referenced Specifically: Demos.

guitarhero01234

  • Guest
Re: Memoirs of a RAFian
« Reply #5479 on: March 03, 2016, 12:17:15 AM »
I was gonna comment something along the lines of the improbability of me "embracing" a woman, but the song being a dream kinda ruins the joke. :P

Also, damn that chapter 25 was dark. Loved it. :D

Offline Cloak

  • Disciple of Weird Al
  • God
  • ********
  • Posts: 11579
  • Karma: 351
  • Gender: Male
  • 188 of 1,657 "Memoirs" books completed
Re: Memoirs of a RAFian
« Reply #5480 on: March 03, 2016, 09:54:34 PM »
And, yet, still not the future dark moment that I keep referencing. ;)

New chapter.

CHAPTER TWO:
Too Advanced

"Melissa, what is that?" Broken said, referring to reused two-liter bottle that rolled from her bookbag. The contents sloshed around in an almost sluggish manner. At a glance it may have looked like water, but upon closer inspection you could see the silvery, yet brackish, tint to it.

"That? Nothing," she said, the slight quaver in her voice lending doubt to her sincerity of the statement.

Broken sighed heavily, as if he received disappointing news, and said, "Dear girl, do you even know what Legilimency is?"

"'Legitimacy'?"

"No, Legilimency, Melissa, Legilimency." Broken said. "The magical art of penetrating the mind of another, sifting through their memories, hearing their thoughts, and yadda yadda yadda."

"Mind-reading?"

"That's a tad bit of an oversimplification, but, essentially, yes," Broken said. "Granted, I Don have the finesse and expertise about such matters as Yarin does when it comes to invading minds, but I'm a sufficient Legilimens to know when I'm being lied to."

"I wasn't --"

"Melissa." Broken said, with a tone so authoritative that sounded almost unnatural coming from him. "You know better."

"I -- I didn't do --"

"You are not ready for brewing potions like Veritaserum!" Broken said, rather harshly. "You have no business brewing such a thing. You're not at that skill level yet. You had barely just learned the basics!"

"I made it just fine!" Melissa protested.

"You took shortcuts," Broken said, critical. "This could not have been made in a full-moon cycle. It is not clear or colorless as it should be. You were too impatient for results. You were heavy-handed with the ingredients. And a number of other problems. This isn't Veritaserum. It's mock Veritaserum soup."

Melissa's face reddened with anger. But she said nothing, nothing about the harsh criticisms.

"Not to mention," Broken said, who seemed to be oblivious to his own harshness, "Veritaserum is very strictly regulated. Feel fortunate that this isn't real Veritaserum, as the penalties could be dire if it were to be reported."

Melissa felt angry tears well up in her eyes, and she hated herself for involuntarily showing that sign of weakness. This wasn't the reaction she had expected from this.


Book 189: "Shenecron's Pets"
Chapter 4: "First Attempt"
(January 7, 2020)

RAFians Referenced Specifically: Demos.

Offline Cloak

  • Disciple of Weird Al
  • God
  • ********
  • Posts: 11579
  • Karma: 351
  • Gender: Male
  • 188 of 1,657 "Memoirs" books completed
Re: Memoirs of a RAFian
« Reply #5481 on: March 04, 2016, 07:47:38 AM »
New chapter.

CHAPTER THREE:
Volatility

This wasn't how it was supposed to go at all. Her teacher (the actual Sorcerer Supreme!) wasn't supposed to be so harsh, so unyielding, so . . . so . . . so not Dumbledore-y.

Melissa took the mock Veritaserum, and ran out on Broken, hiding her tears. She hadn't expect this tutelage to have gone so poorly. She couldn't handle her own disappointment at this. She was expecting some tutelage that you would see on television, but it was never gonna be that saccharine and Full House-like.

It didn't help that she got frustrated easily and had a tendency to give up when she got so frustrated. It was one thing that made her magical skill stagnated so much. When she reached an obstacle that she could not easily overcome, could not go around, she usually gave up. She did not meet the challenge, she ran away from it, seeking the easy path. It remarkable thst she managed to get herself an apartment in her pre-RAFian days with this odd little predilection.

She ran from the forum, wrapping her blue, puffy coat around her. She didn't even seem to realize that she was still carrying the mock Veritaserum with her. It was almost as if she was on automatic. She fled into the city, and she ran and ran and ran. She ran as if she could distance herself from her own problems, her own inadequacies, her own failures.

She questioned her decision to learn from Broken, her decision to become his apprentice. It was a spur-of-the-moment decision, she acknowledged, and she had allowed herself to believe that it was going to be some fairytale montage and she would be a powerful sorceress in a month.

She didn't acknowledge how unrealistic this was. She didn't want to acknowledge it, she wanted to romanticize this into one of those stupidly saccharine movies. Her disillusionment was inevitable.

***

"I'm not sure if I'm the right person to advise you about this, Broken. Perhaps Terenia would have better insight."

"I don't know if Terenia teaches people one-on-one on a regular basis, though," Broken said.

"And what made you think that I do?"

"Cloak, you trained Shadow in the Elements," Broken said. "And she's now a Master, like you."

"That is different," Cloak countered gently, "Shadow is the only daughter of my favorite sister. The bond of uncle and neice was already there. I was there when she was just a Hatchling. She knew me from thst young and tender age, and I knew the best way to encourage and challenge her, having babysat her when she was younger, too young to be trained. You and Melissa have only known each other scarcely a week or two."

"So, I was too harsh on her?"

"Perhaps," Cloak said, noncommittally. "You do not yet know each others strengths and weaknesses of each other. You each have your flaws, as we all do, but you have yet to learn each others. I am not going to say it's gonna be easy, but if you this situation to work, you're going to have to, well, work for it."

"That's what I've been trying to do!"

"Then, remember this," Cloak said, placidly, "too much at once can lead to someone feeling overwhelmed. From what you told me, I'm of the of the opinion thst she was thrying to impress you."

"Impress me? By making an illicit substance like Veritaserum. She was trying to impress me by making Veritaserum."

"In my opinion," Cloak said, "yes."


Book 189: "Shenecron's Pets"
Chapter 4: "First Attempt"
(January 7, 2020)

RAFians Referenced Specifically: Demos.

redtailedsaffa

  • Guest
Re: Memoirs of a RAFian
« Reply #5482 on: March 04, 2016, 03:05:07 PM »
Whoa, how did I miss this many chapters?!

What an auspicious start. I'm expecting a song about now. :P

Offline Cloak

  • Disciple of Weird Al
  • God
  • ********
  • Posts: 11579
  • Karma: 351
  • Gender: Male
  • 188 of 1,657 "Memoirs" books completed
Re: Memoirs of a RAFian
« Reply #5483 on: March 05, 2016, 12:03:02 AM »
I'm expecting a song about now. :P

Well . . . then who am I to disappoint?  ;D

But I must warn you. This chapter is a bit on the dark side.

New chapter.

CHAPTER FOUR:
Poor Child

Melissa had sat down in the entry way of an alley. The same alley that Androvex and Gynecovyx took over the bodies of the young boys named Chaz and Ian. But, how could she have known this? It wasn't exactly well-known knowledge. She sat there and allowed herself to break down into tears, not caring who saw her.

She, however, failed to take into account that the city had dangers. Dangers of the sort that were rather mundane than the ones that the RAFians usually had to confront. But they were still things to be wary of.

Melissa was about to learn this the hard way as two guys, as slimy and oily as eels, saddled up on either side of her, one blonde and one black-haired.

"Poor, sweet child." the blonde said.

"She has a very serious problem, hasn’t she?" the black-haired one said, addressing his friend.

"Hmm, if only --"

"-- there were something --"

"-- we could do."

"Who are you two?" Melissa said, rather naive.

They sang:

"Sweet child, poor child.
So tragic, so misunderstood.
Dear child, sad child.
Life’s looking,
Shall we say,
not good.
No.
Who will ease her woes and worries?
Who will help get her man?
Sweet child. Perhaps the Lascivia brothers can!
"

"Who?" Melissa asked. Then she got wise to the Lascivia brothers being the two uncomfortably close to her on either side, singing, and said, "Oh."

"They know your dreams."

"Uh . . . erm . . ." Melissa stammered.

"They'll grant your prayer."

"Please," Melissa said, worming away from the vise that was the two Brothers Lascivia, "I have to go!"

They would not have that.

"They've cast a charm.
A tiny spell.
Why the alarm?
No one will tell
No one will care.
It’s your affair.
"

Suddenly, there was a crinkly shattering sound, whose source wasn't obvious. But Michael and Donald Lascivia, who wanted Melissa lasciviously, did not appear to notice, their minds, their dirty, single-tracked minds, were on other things. And they were determined to get what they were after, regardless of whether or not Melissa was consenting . . .

"Sweet child,
Dear child
Poor child.
Sad child.
We’ll bring you to their lair right now!
Bet in half a sec,
Your princes and you are reconciled.
Sweet child.
"

"Petrificus totalus!" Melissa cried. "Locomotor mortis!"

Donald Lascivia was hit by the Leg-Locker Curse, while his brother was hit by the Full-Body Bind Curse.

"Incarcerous!" Melissa said, attempting and failing at conjuring binding ropes or chains around Donald.

"Wh-what are you?" he asked, as a shimmering mist, an almost magical fog ensconced them and proceed to do so rapidly for the entire city.

"What did you think you would get away with?" Melissa growled, already very much aware what they wanted. She didn't expect Donald to reply so honestly and openly, though it appeared he didn't intend to, and it just slipped out.

The blows that Melissa gave them rendered using a Stunning Spell completely moot.

Then she discovered the two liter bottle thst she had her Veritaserum attempt in had exploded, and was now empty. But how was she to know that it was now an aerosol and already airborne?


Book 189: "Shenecron's Pets"
Chapter 4: "First Attempt"
(January 7, 2020)

RAFians Referenced Specifically: Demos.

redtailedsaffa

  • Guest
Re: Memoirs of a RAFian
« Reply #5484 on: March 05, 2016, 01:00:27 PM »
Not quite so dark when you expect it every time you leave the house.

PDF of the last book:

Offline Cloak

  • Disciple of Weird Al
  • God
  • ********
  • Posts: 11579
  • Karma: 351
  • Gender: Male
  • 188 of 1,657 "Memoirs" books completed
Re: Memoirs of a RAFian
« Reply #5485 on: March 05, 2016, 10:08:07 PM »
Did you morph to Tyrannopede and scare any of them off? . . . You ate them, didn't you? ;)

New chapter.

CHAPTER FIVE:
Truth Hurts

Melissa scooped up the remains if her two liter bottle than held her potion. She may have naive, and a little ambitious, not to mention a little blindly enterprising, but she was no idiot. She knew enough to put two and two together.

She had to go back and tell the others. Go back . . . and tell them . . . tell them what? This was her fault, her mistake . . . it would be her duty to clean it up. She . . . she couldn't . . . she had to fix this herself. She had to . . . to . . . to . . .

She had no idea how or where to start.

***

As the Veritaserum mist expanded to encompass the city, a couple were sitting on a park bench. The man clearly did not look at all comfortable, but this was lost on his cuddly mate. He clearly was repressing a lot for the sake of this particular woman, Carly Ignara. He was clearly trying to be a nice guy, this Al Podavlénije.* He heavily resisted her cuddling, and she remained oblivious.

"What do you think of our relationship?" Carly said, coyly, out of the blue.

Something within Al snapped. Maybe it was the Veritaserum mist, or maybe it was because he had had enough of this, or maybe it was a combination of the two. In any case, he broke out into song:

"You tell a joke and forget the punchline.
Why you always wastin' my time?
Hey, just trust me, you just disgust me!
You hair's a mess and your make-up's crusty!
I don't know too many females,
Who make a habit of biting their toenails.
Whoa-oh, every time you call, you drive me up the wall!
Dear, just the sight of you makes my flesh crawl.
I'm sure we'd be happy together,
If only one little thing weren't true.
Oh, I-yi-yi-yi-yi,
I'm so sick of you!
You drink the milk right from the carton.
What are you, in pre-kindergarten?
You're burpin' everywhere, foulin' up the air!
Then you use my razor to shave your back hair!
You don't have an ounce of class!
You're just one big pain in the . . . neck!
How much more can I take now? Give me a break now!
You even snore when you're wide awake now!
You tell all your friends we're the perfect couple.
Well, maybe you should get a clue!
'Cause I-yi-yi-yi-yi,
I'm so sick of you!
You're so nauseatin'!
I-yi-yi-yi-yi,
I'm so sick of you!
And, when you softly call my name,
It's like listenin' to that squeaky chalk sound!
And when you look at me that special way,
It's hard for me to keep my lunch down!
And when you askin' me what I'm thinkin', dear, usually I'm thinkin'
How I'd really like to tie your head completely up in duck tape,
So I wouldn't have to listen to you asking me those stupid questions
Over and over again!
Well, that disgusting noise you make when you laugh
Gives me a throbbing migraine!
(Can't stand you, I just can't stand you!)
Until you came along I never dated anyone
This low on the food chain!
(Can't stand you, I just can't stand you!)
You've got ungodly body odor!
You've got the hair of a boxing promoter!
Yeah, your teeth are all yellow, your butt's made of Jell-O,
You woke up in a puddle, droolin' on your pillow!
I hate the way you crack your knuckles!
I hate your whiny, hen girlfriends, too!
But mostly I-yi-yi-yi-yi,
I'm so sick of you!
Really now, you're aggravatin'!
I-yi-yi-yi-yi,
I'm so sick of you!
Not to mention irritatin'!
I-yi-yi-yi-yi,
I'm so sick of you!
Well, now won't you give my best regards to Satan!
I-yi-yi-yi-yi,
I'm so sick of you!
I'm so sick of you!
I'm so sick of you!
I'm so sick of you!
You make me sick!
(Can't stand you, I just can't stand you!) I'm so sick of you, now!
(Can't stand you, I just can't stand you!) I'm so sick of you, now!
(Can't stand you, I just can't stand you!) I'm so sick of you, now!
(Can't stand you, I just can't stand you!) I'm so sick of you!
(Can't stand you, I just can't stand you!) I'm so sick of you, now!
(Can't stand you, I just can't stand you!) I'm so sick of you, now!
(Can't stand you, I just can't stand you!) I'm so sick of you, now!
"

Carly broke into tears and ran off, leaving Al to have mixed feelings about this action, though he wasn't too sure what made him do it. He felt bad for hurting Carly, but, conversely, glad that he got what he needed to off his chest.

They, naturally, broke up.

***

While that had happened, a couple, who had a falling out, were calling quits. They were Hillary Sheal and Basil Hässlich*. Basil resorted to a bitter song about it:

"Aahh . . .
Well I heard that you're leavin' (leavin'),
Gonna leave me far behind (so far behind).
'Coz you found a brand new lover,
You decided that I'm not your kind (aahh..).
So I pulled (I pulled) your name out (name out) of my Rolodex (oohh..)
And I tore all your pictures in two.
And I burned down the soda shop where we used to go,
Just because it reminds me of you (dippity dippity doo)!
That's right (that's right)! You ain't gonna see me cryin'!
I'm glad (I'm glad) that you found somebody new!
'Cause I'd rather spend eternity eating shards of broken glass,
Than spend one more minute with you!!
I guess I might seem kinda bitter.
You got me feeling down in the dumps.
'Coz you stranded all alone in the gas station,
And I have to use the self-service pumps!
Oh, so let me help you with that suitcase.
You ain't (you ain't) gonna break my heart in two!
'Coz I'd rather get a hundred billion paper cuts on my face
Than spend one more minute with you!
I'd rather rip out my entrails with a fork
Than watch you going out with other men!
I'd rather slam my fingers in a door (yeah)
Again and again and again and again and again!

Oh, can't you see what I'm tryin' to say, dearest...
I'd rather have my blood sucked out by the leeches (leeches)!
Shove an crowbar under a toenail or two!
I'd rather clean all the bathrooms in a long-term care facility with my tongue
Than spend one more minute with you!
Yes, I'd rather jump naked on a huge pile of push tacks,
Or stick my nostrils together with crazy glue!
I'd rather dive into a swimming pool filled with double-edged razor blades
Than spend one more minute with you!
I'd rather rip my lungs out of my ribcage with my bare hands
And then throw them on the floor and stomp on it 'till I die!
Than spend one more minute with you!!
"

They parted on less-than-ideal terms, though Basil spoke the truth about how he felt.

***

Meanwhile, an insecure woman, Kim Odio, was asking her womanizing boyfriend, Cal Romano, if he really loved her. He answered in song, truthfully, though with some double talk.

"Oh, I couldn't live a single day without you!
Actually, on second thought, I suppose I could.
Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, honeycakes, you're the greatest!
Well, I guess you're pretty good.
Now, it seems to me I'm relatively lucky.
I know I probably couldn't ask for too much more.
I honestly can say you're an above average lady!
You're almost just what I've been looking for
You're sorta everything I ever wanted.
You're not perfect, but I love you somehow.
You're the woman that I've always dreamed of!
Well, not really, but you're good enough for now.
You're pretty close to what I've always hoped for,
That's why my love for you is barely strong.
And I swear I'm never gonna leave you, sweetness,
At least 'til something better comes along.
'Cause you're sort of everything I ever wanted.
You're not perfect, but I love you somehow.
You're the woman that I've always dreamed of!
Well, not really, but you're good enough for now.
No, not really, but you're good enough for now.
"

She either wasn't particularly smart or did not want to face single life, as she seemed to settle for this as an adequate and honest answer. Though one could make the argument that this was just a facade to hide the true hurt she felt, but, if it was, she hid it really well.



Source songs: Here, here, and here.

*Yes, I'm heavily abusing Wiktionary's translation feature.


Book 189: "Shenecron's Pets"
Chapter 4: "First Attempt"
(January 7, 2020)

RAFians Referenced Specifically: Demos.

Offline Cloak

  • Disciple of Weird Al
  • God
  • ********
  • Posts: 11579
  • Karma: 351
  • Gender: Male
  • 188 of 1,657 "Memoirs" books completed
Re: Memoirs of a RAFian
« Reply #5486 on: March 06, 2016, 12:28:18 AM »
New chapter.

CHAPTER SIX:
A Great Dictator

At a political town hall meeting, a short, stocky politician named Ivo Egbert was standing after having his campaign endored by a rail-thin, lanky man named Charles Snively. Ivo was bald, wearing glasses with round frames, thick-bodied with thin lrgs and big feet. He had a rather outlandish auburn handlebar moustache. He also had unsually large head. Meanwhile, Charles had a rather unfortunate resemblance to Slender Man, which made him the butt of many a joke.

When Egbert was questioned about foreign policy, as the Veritaserum mist enveloped all attending. And suddenly, Egbert launched into song.

"Voldemort, Visser One, Zerif, and me, the Brawn,
We all have this one thing in common: we are into world domination.
"

Then Snively interjected.

"It's a new sensation, try it and you'll feel elation."

Then Ivo took over.

"It's the gift to give the guy who wants everything."

"Military takeovers!"

"Governmental makeovers!"

"Coup d'état will be confined!"

"It keeps your country occupied.
Look here at this dotted line,
As overlord, I could combine
And make this all one sovereign state.
"

"Oh, Overlord, you are so great!"

"I'll sew up this divided planet.
My regime will surely span it.
I'll learn the language if I must.
"

"You will gain the people's trust."

"I'll let them join my coterie."

"And you can buy their loyalty."

"There are several formulae I would like to use for domination,
And to get the maximum effect out of a hapless, helpless nation.
Crabmeat or magnetic shoes,
Mind-controlling pink tutus,
Or a giant signal tower to telecast my mental power.
Think big, not small!
"

"Dominoes will start to fall!"

"And then I can,
Be the mouse who conquers man.
So, if you have a calculator,
You can be a great dictator.
Let each country that you covet equal X.
"

"You're gonna love it!"

"Multiply by Y not try it,
If the people start to riot,
You can always say that they are just a bunch of kooks.
People just need to be led!
"

"By a guy with a big head!"

"To their weaknesses, they'll succumb!"

"If you give them chewing gum!"

"It may bother them a bit."

"But they'll soon get over it!"

"They won't whine when I'm the Czar of all that we see, near and far!"

This is why some politicians need the ability to lie, as the truth of their motives can be a bit on the scary side. Fortunately, it appeared that Ivo wouldn't be getting that governor's position -- that is, if the voting populace recognized that he was speaking the truth, the undeniable truth due to the Veritasrum mist. But humans . . . a very stubborn species, very stubbrn indeed.



Song source: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=SGUqwaORfbU


Book 189: "Shenecron's Pets"
Chapter 4: "First Attempt"
(January 7, 2020)

RAFians Referenced Specifically: Demos.

guitarhero01234

  • Guest
Re: Memoirs of a RAFian
« Reply #5487 on: March 06, 2016, 01:08:17 AM »
Ya take a mortal man, and put him in control. . . .

Also, Ivo Egbert? Hm, I wonder who that's supposed to be. . . ;)

Offline Cloak

  • Disciple of Weird Al
  • God
  • ********
  • Posts: 11579
  • Karma: 351
  • Gender: Male
  • 188 of 1,657 "Memoirs" books completed
Re: Memoirs of a RAFian
« Reply #5488 on: March 07, 2016, 12:46:10 AM »
Yep.

New chapter.

CHAPTER SEVEN:
Awareness

"Well," Saffa said, with a snap to her voice, as the televised song of Egbert and Snively ended, "that was certainly novel. A politician telling the unabashed truth. If I didn't know better, I'd question whether Corruption really died."

Cloak shot her a baleful and dirty look. He didn't need another reminder of yet another failed attempt of his to capture of a supposed "dead" Realm Walker like Corruption, to present him to corrupted idiots of the Realm Walker government, as proof that Malice was not dead. While his mother was a big part of him leaving the Nexus, of turning his back on it, the Council's corruption (and its inevitable proclivity to greed and corruption) was another major factor. He was a government malcontent in this manner, and he was aware of it.

He continued in this introspection as Saffa remained oblivious as she was not looking in his general direction, but at the television screen in the Media Board building. They had returned to some of the town hall moderators asking questions that Cloak personally found completely irrelevant.

"That mist, though," Broken said, more to himself than anyone else, "something about that mist . . ."

"What about it?" Abby said, unconcernedly.

"It is not normal mist, that's what," he replied knowingly. "It looks magical in nature, but I can't decide whaf exactly is its cause."

"Maybe Melissa knows," Cloak said.

"What makes you say that?" Broken asked.

"She standing right behind the door," Cloak gestured. "I can sense her anxiety from here."

"Melissa?"

She entered the room, having abandoned her idea of having to handle this herself. She showed some real maturity from this, but she was still intimidated. She seemed very uncomfortable in her skin, and seemed to half-regret her decision. She wondered if she should have followed through with her initial assessment of fixing this herself.

But . . . she didn't know how or where to even start. It would be an impossibility and completely implausible for her to do it by herself, and she knew it.

"Melissa, what do you know about this mist?"

Melissa was hesitant, before sighing. Then she blurted out, "It's all my fault."
« Last Edit: March 07, 2016, 12:54:00 AM by CloakedFigure »


Book 189: "Shenecron's Pets"
Chapter 4: "First Attempt"
(January 7, 2020)

RAFians Referenced Specifically: Demos.

redtailedsaffa

  • Guest
Re: Memoirs of a RAFian
« Reply #5489 on: March 07, 2016, 12:59:16 AM »
You said corruption a lot. :P