*go into the library with a library card with parts of it whited out*
Librarian: "Excuse me, this card doesn't have your last name on it . . ."
You: "I can't tell you my last name. You might be one of them."
Librarian: ". . . Oookay. Er, it doesn't say where you live, either."
You: "I can't tell you where I live. Just believe me when I say it's a real town. It could even be your town."
Librarian: " . . . "
"Can you please hurry it up a little? I've got, like, five minutes left in this morph."
"You know what they say. Know your friends well, know your enemies better." *serious nod*
*put a book from one shelf onto a different shelf*
"There. I have now shamelessly destroyed the symmetry of this shelf, undoing hours of labor by underpaid library employees."