>_>
So, I hate to be an English Nazi or anything, but, uh...well, I get paid to be one.
TMP, feel free to overrule me.
I was wondering if I could, ah,
encourage everyone to look over their posts before hitting that 'submit' button. There are a
lot of errors popping up, some unobtrusive, and some that seem to be directly affecting the flow of this rp.
For example: Gorilla, I get that your character talks a lot. It's just part of his personality, which is cool. But the
way he says things are important, and it doesn't seem like he's talking how a real person would. Try to read your dialogue out loud before posting. If it doesn't seem like something you'd say irl, maybe modify it a bit. Each one of your posts seems to have your character saying or doing five different important things at once. I get that you want to get a lot of information into one post, but it's okay to save some stuff for later.
NBA: I know your Andalite is dead now, but voice is hugely important. An Andalite wouldn't say 'Hehe', and an Andalite would speak in a much more rigid way. Remember, they are a society based upon honor and tradition, and even though this particular Andalite is breaking the rules he has still grown up in that culture.
Like I said, I know Larz is dead now, so it hardly matters, but think about it in relation to your Yeerk character. Is your Yeerk a die-hard supporter of the Empire? If so, why? Does he believe in what the Empire stands for, or does he just want a shot at the power that comes with a Visser rank? Is he sympathetic at all to his host, or does he treat it like a lesser species - or even enjoy torturing it for fun?
Oh, and by the way, it's "Ellimist", not "Elimest"
Sorry for the tl;dr.....and sorry if I'm stepping on any toes. I just...teach English...to high school kids...so voice and flow and grammar are all rather important to me.
