I wrote a rap battle between Ax and Visser Three today. Dunno why. But it was loads of fun. Obviously it's somewhat OOC, and uses language either char probably wouldn't use. This can become the official rap battle thread, if any of you want to write one too!
Ax:
Andalite's on the stage, with a slug on the floor
It ain't just the mucus, you're slime to the core
There's an Ax here to chop you, and that isn't a boast
And it isn't hard to see why you lack voluntary hosts
Because you're hideous, really, you look like the Drode
I'm so ill that my Tria gland's gonna explode
You think you're makin' Visser?
Pull my seventh finger, miss, or
Mister, or something, no really, let me know
Because I hear you got three genders, but you'll never make a grub, ohh!
You'll never see me comin', I can take any form
We got a whole band of warriors, yeah they're my shorm
I'll swing my tailblade and cut you to ribbons
Then swing into the trees and we're outie as gibbons!
Marco: Dude we don't have gibbon morphs.
Ax: What? Why not?
Marco: I dunno, it never came up.
Ax: Wouldn't it be more logical to acquire every possible form?
Marco: We have all we need.
Ax: Do we have unobtrusive flight forms capable of both speedy and long-distance locomotion?
Marco: Absolutely! ... But we never use them, because, I mean: EAGLES! WHEEE!
Visser Three:
Silly Aximili, you look so small
I wouldn't even call you an aristh at all
You're barely prepared to keep your hooves on the ground
How do you hope to do battle when you're playing with mouth-sounds?
You're just a fish out of water, I'm armed with Yeerk technology
And even though they're scared of me, my goons are gonna follow me
I got hundreds of soldiers controlling Hork-Bajir
I'd tell you 'bout their homeworld, but you'd pretend not to hear
I'm a parasite, Andalite, humans are cattle
They can't unite, they kill EACHOTHER when they battle!
I got you in hiding, you're on the run
Maybe focus on strategy, instead of cinnamon buns?
And speaking of deliciousness, here's something to discover
While you were watching pretty fishies, I ATE YOUR BROTHER!
Ax:
Yes I know you killed my brother, and we returned the favour
Though I gotta point out he only supported Yeerks for their flavour
I have a blood oath of vengeance, that ain't cinnamon treacle
I swear by the stars, I'm gonna make you a vecol!
Back it up and pack it up, go back to your own planet
We don't understand surrender, so you'll just have to can it!
We're freein' Alloran so he can stomp on your corpse
Don't you ever **** with Earth, 'cause we're the ANIMORPHS!
... I mean Andalite Bandits.
****.
