Memoirs of a RAFian

[Underseen]

Sweet another musical. Were you saying the book may be short or the chapter?

[Cloak]

The chapter.  The usual twenty chapters are planned for this book.

EDIT: Well, expect a rather lengthy Chapter 2.

[redtailedsaffa]

Yay, marshmallows-and-bonfire story time!

[Cloak]

That's right, Saffa.

Now, here's another chapter.  Maybe the only chapter that I can get up today.
 

CHAPTER TWO:
Enter the Miser

It was a different time.  RAF was not as big as it was now.  AlothAssassin had just been Banned. The reasons behind which he hadn't any idea, he just knew he wasn't particularly fond of the guy.
 
Anyway, Parker, Sakki, and Horse were dispatched to stop Queen, Aloth and Yorick from procuring ill-begotten satellite equipment.
 
Cloak himself was watching from atop a building a fair distance away. He was brooding.
 
"Tsk tsk tsk." Parker said. Back then his armor was plain old SPARTAN armor, with any Walker tech in it.
 
"Naughty, naughty," Sakki snickered, "you just got caughty."
 

***

Saffa snorted, "You actually said that, Sakki?"
 
"Oh, shut up and let Cloak tell the story." Sakki snarled.
 

***

"You can't stop us from taking this equipment!" Queen snarled.
 
Parker sneered right back, "Then it sounds to me that's it's time to rumble."
 
"Indeed.  But it is you that will take the tumble." Queen said haughtily, singing the last word unintentionally.
 
Sakki raised her eyebrow as she asked, "I'm sorry, hon, but did you just sing that?"
 
Queen said shortly, singing the last word, "Of course I did not!"
 
Then she realized, "Wait, yes, I did!"
 
Then she began to sing in earnest:
 

"I'm sounding shrill
Against my will
And cannot stop this singing!!"

Then Horse sang:
 

"And, in my ear,
Is where I hear
A quite distinctive ringing!"

Aloth sang with an aggressively:
 

"This silly game
Is very lame!
And someone is gonna pay!"

Sakki sang:
 

"An unknown force,
But where's the source
That has us in its sway?"

Yorick sang in a rather simpering manner:
 

"Who is doing this to us?
And, on this, we must concur --"

Then together, RAFian and Banned sang:
 

"The dastardly, dispicable,
Disturbingly inexplicable --"

Aloth added:
 

"And immiently kick-able."

Then then they sang together:
 

"The mastermind is --"

Then they see a man in drab 1950s clothing bearing an uncanny resemblance to Neil Patrick Harris with aviator glasses and prominent front teeth, with a slight gap between the two -- the Music Miser. He sang:
 

"The Music Miser!
Put down your arms, my friends,
Your arrows, guns and swords.
You resistance to my charm now ends.
WHEN I BELT OUT THESE POWER CHORDS!!
RAFians or Banned, it really doesn't matter.
You all are just slaves to my hypnotic patter.
As I regale you with my backstory,
You know you have no choice
But to do my evil bidding
When you hear this booming voice!
Oh, I'm the Music Miser!"

The RAFians and Banned sang:
 

"He's the Music Miser!"

Music Miser sang:
 

"And everyone just fawns."

The other six sang:
 

"He's the Music Miser!
And we are all his pawns."

Music Miser sang another verse:
 

"And so, for me, it's destiny
To be the Maestro of Villiany!
I'm the Music Miser!
And I'm here to settle the score!"

Then he switched to spoken words, "You see, I, too, have plans for this equipment.  And, now that I established
who's in charge, GET TO WORK!"
 
Meanwhile, Cloak had noticed that something was clearly going on. Cloak, glancing down from a building, peering through the gloom, said "Well, that's something you don't see every day -- even on RAF."
 
Music Miser sang:
 

"Bullies used to pick on me
Because I sang in Choir.
But something very strange occured
When I kept singing higher.
The ruffians around me quickly fell into a trance.
It was then, with wicked glee, I made those puppets dance!
I'm the Music Miser!"

The six others sang:

"He's the Music Miser!"

Music Miser sang:

"And everyone just fawns."

The six others sang again:

"He's the Music Miser!
And we are all his pawns."

Music Miser sang again:

"I'm the Music Miser!
Crime became my path."

Sakki sang, though her eyes showed the vaguest signs of disgust:

"He's the Music Miser!
And we must beware his wrath . . ."

Then Cloak leaped from the building and landed a few feet away, cracking the concrete, but repairing it with a wave of his hand. But he said nothing aloud, and glares with an icy stare.  The Music Miser saw him and vocalized loudly, attempting to get Cloak under his sway, unaware that Realm Walkers are immune from all forms of Dweller mind control.

Cloak's stare just got colder with each try.  But the Music Mister lost none of his poise as he said, "Sorry, but my work's not quite done.  Can't allow you to stop me just yet."

Then he turned to the others and sang:

"You all better tow the line, you see,
Because your wills belong to me.
And now, my friends, you have the chance
To show that man how well you dance!"

Then Cloak used circle-walking -- something he noticed in airbenders -- to not harm his RAFian allies. The Banned, however, he couldn't care less about.  Cloak couldn't keep his mind on both the fight and the Music Miser all at once.

To emphasize this, the Music Miser sang to his drones:
 

"Now that Cloak's been delayed
Your usefulness has passed.
A distraction is what I need
To kick into that blast!"

The Music Master jumped into a hot air balloon's basket and sang:

"I'm the Music Miser!
I cannot help but boast."

The six under his control sang:

"He's the Music Miser!
Under his spell, we are all toast!"

Music Miser sang, taking off in the balloon while the RAFians and Banned kept battling Cloak:

"I'm the Music Miser!
I won the day now I must fly.
I'm the Music Miser!
And I'm here to settle the score!!"

***

"You're kidding," Underseen said.  "You got your butts handed to you by a singer?"

"That was before the Mark, remember," Cloak said.  "Had Richard, Goom and I never managed to successfully bring it out, then mind control would be a real concern right now."

Cloak thought a moment.

"Well, for you guys, it would."

[Cloak]

Return of the ambitious list!  Added Book CLV (i.e. Book 155), titled "Muppet, Muppet Man".

EDIT: Added #CLVI: "Larval Ambush".  Finished planning out the chapters for #CXLV: ("Hitting the Dino-Sauce") and #CXLVI: ("Blood Feud") -- both have twenty chapters.

• Book XXXI: The Metal-Maker

The RAFians must save their own from a Roboticizer.

• Book XXXII: Richard is Missing

The RAFians must cope without Richard.

• Book XXXIII: Emotional Food

The RAFians must confront a different kind of vampire.

• Book XXXIV: Transformation Confrontation

The RAFians must confront some strange machines.

• Book XXXV: Richard's Horn

The RAFians must get Richard's Horn, a mystical musical instrument, back from Malice, who received it from a RAFian traitor.

• Book XXXVI: Feral Scream

A Wildwethel-centric book, he must deal with his feral side.

• Book XXXVII: Predators and Prey

The RAFians are being preyed upon by some sentient predators.

• Book XXXVIII: A Protean Problem

The RAFians must deal with a powerful snot-nosed kid who, quite literally, can do whatever he wants.

• Book XXXIX: The Horsemen

Four RAFians are captured and converted into four Horsemen of the ancient, rogue Realm Walker Cataclysm.

• Book XL: Sizeable Pain in the Necks

The RAFians must deal with Heinlein aliens.

• Book XLI: RAF's Nightmare

The RAFians must survive their own nightmares.

• Book XLII: Unlucky Charms

The RAFians must contend with a rather bloodthirsty leprechaun.

• Book XLIII: The Piper

The RAFians must contend with a pied piper.

• Book XLIV: Starlight Desire

The RAFians race Malice, Abomination, and the Banned to a wishing star (no, not Estelore).

• Book XLV: A War of Armor

Parker is outraged to see knockoffs of his rather unique armor and what they're being used for.

• Book XLVI: The Worst Plague

The RAFians must weather the worst plague to ever existed -- the Hate Plague.

• Book XLVII: Little Alien Napoleons

The RAFians are caught in the middle of a war between Helmacrons and Fmeks.

• Book XLVIII: Go Away!

The RAFians must deal with the paparazzi who are all of a sudden interested in them.

• Book XLIX: RAFian Tales

RAFians tell various RAFian-themed stories across a lunch table.

• Book L: Maul

The RAFians must deal with the result of one of Demos's experiments.

• Book LI: Erised Orbs

The RAFians must face their greatest desires.

• Book LII: RAFians Alive!

Read the "Mummies Alive" parody in the RAFize songs thread.

• Book LIII: The Pain Reliever

The RAFians must deal with an elderly Vulcan styling himself the "Pain Reliever".

• Book LIV: Beyond the Veils

Aquilai and Aila must confront old foes while the other RAFians must put up with a Czarinian bounty hunter.

• Book LV: Dangerous Deals

Demos meets up with his half-brother, Shenecron, who has a perchant for making deals.

• Book LVI: Of One Mind

Malice seeks out the Unimind.

• Book LVII: The End of Time

The RAFians must contend with two Kryptonians (who think they're Time Lords) and prevent them from ending time altogether.

• Book LVIII: Hematomimic

The RAFians must capture a Plasmavore and put up with it's rather stupid Judoon jailer.

• Book LIX: Sins of Youth

Estelore, Richard, Parker, and Cloak must survive when the entire city and forum have been reduced to two-year-olds.

• Book LX: The Replacements

The RAFians must contend with the fame-feeding Eidolon Consciousness.

• Book LXI: Arachnoids

The RAFians must contend with the Arachnoids and finding a cure for one of their own that was poisoned before it's too late.

• Book LXII: Personal Tissues

The RAFians must contend with some one misusing Bibliophaetos's discarded book shell.

• Book LXIII: Memory Today, Gone Tomorrow

The RAFians lose their memory and must find a way to regain it.

• Book LXIV: Appliance Armageddon

A superintelligent computer controls all electronics, and the RAFians must stop it.

• Book LXV: Prodigy and Composite

Some RAFians are merged into two separate entities.

• Book LXVI: The Merging

The Universes begin colliding and merging.

• Book LXVII: Be A Doll

The RAFians are confronted by a Super Chucky.

• Book LXVIII: They're Such Cards

The RAFians are sealed into cards, which end up trapped in an ancient leather-bound book, and it's up to three kids to free them.  An out-of-continuity book.

• Book LXIX: Dinosaur Island

Everyone, except those that bear a Mark, begin turning saurian.

• Book LXX: Corrupted

The RAFians must deal with the son of Cataclysm, Corruptor.

• Book LXXI: Artificial Skins

The RAFians must deal with symbiotes.

• Book LXXII: Separation Anxiety

The RAFians must contend with an ethereal virus.

• Book LXXIII: A Thing About RAFians

The RAFians must contend with Seekers, which home in onto their Marks.

• Book LXXIV: A Planted Idea

The RAFians must contend with a floramaniac.

• Book LXXV: Vacation Photos

The RAFians are sucked into a Polarisoid camera.

• Book LXXVI: A Personal Gremlin

The RAFians must contend with gremlins.

• Book LXXVII: The Rust is Silence

The Rafians must deal with an oxidation ray wielded by a criminal.

• Book LXXVIII: The Toyman Cometh

The RAFians deal with a Toyman-esque character.

• Book LXXIX: RAFian Idol

Yes, just another excuse to put in more of the (as of writing) nearly 800 parodies.

• Book LXXX: Savage Heart

Cloak battles an ancient being called Garrotik.

• Book LXXXI: Slave Islands and Juggernauts

Three RAFians are taken prisoners by the Knights and sold into the slavery of New Genoshia, while the others deal with a juggernaut.

• Book LXXXII: Shredding a King

The RAFians deal with a demonic Shredder-like ghost called Regiphaetos.

• Book LXXXIII: RAF -- The TV Show

The RAFians are forcibly recruited to Mojo's programs.

• Book LXXXIV: The Drinker

The RAFians must contend with a Spirit-Drinker.

• Book LXXXV: The Last Laugh

The RAFians must face Joker Gas.

• Book LXXXVI: It's A Mad, Mad, Mad Villain

The RAFians must contend with mind control cards which are ineffective on them.

• Book LXXXVII: Sight Unseen

Six RAFians are rendered functionally blind, optically-speaking.

• Book LXXXVIII: Don't Let It Snow

The RAFians must face a second Ice Age caused by a Diznee Ice Ifrit.

• Book LXXXIX: The Rachel Toxin

The RAFians must find a cure to a toxin that increases the fearlessness, hostility and aggressiveness induced in people which the Mark cannot protect the RAFians from.

• Book XC: Virus Alert!

The RAFians face a dangerous virus seeking a host.

• Book XCI: A Youthful Thief

The RAFians face a creature that siphons off the youth in its victims, provided they're younger than him.

• Book XCII: Calendar Creep

The RAFians face the Calendar Creep, a criminal whose crimes are holiday themed.

• Book XCIII: The Branding

Faerie fights a witch-boy named Salem (and his magical black cat, Saberhagen) for a magical branding iron in Faerie's possession.

• Book XCIV: The Void Zone

Nothing like a "Subspace Emissary" parody.  Sorry.

• Book XCV: An Epic Yarn

The RAFians' world is turned into yarn and fabric.

• Book XCVI: RAFian Gladiators

RAFians are kidnapped by Gamesmaster, another rogue Realm Walker, and force to participate in gladiatorial games.

• Book XCVII: The Box

The RAFians must cage thirteen Revenants released from Pandora's Box -- each representing and amplifying a particular feeling (i.e. hatred), while looking for the perfect host.

• Book XCVIII: From the Shadows

The RAFians must save their shadows and the shadows of everyone else from being absorbed (eaten) by the Umbraraptors, but not everything is what it seems.

• Book XCIX: Grimm Prospects

The RAFians discover Malice controlling several "wesen" with control collars akin to April's in "Catwoman from Channel Six" and get stuck in one-on-one battles to the death with them.  One will die.

• Book C: Loop-De-Loop

Everyone's trapped in a temporal loop, but the only ones that realize it are Cloak, Aila, and Aquilai.

• Book CI: Get 'Em, Shaw

The RAFians face a creature native to the planet Gossamer, who's under the control of Malice.

• Book CII: Threadfall

The RAFians must exterminate an epidemic of Thread.

• Book CIII: Siren's Song

The RAFians must deal with a siren and her alluring song.

• Book CIV: Resistance is Futile

The RAFians must deal with a hybridization of the Borg and the Hive chips (Ben 10: Alien Swarm) -- which the Mark cannot protect them from, nor the Unity energy can destroy.

• Book CV: The Titan

The RAFians must contend with the Titan serum and its effects.

• Book CVI: A Stony Glare

The RAFians must deal with a hungry Stone-Biter and a petrifying venom of a Diznee Stone Ifrit.

• Book CVII: Spritely Pests

The RAFians must deal with irritating sprites, which Faerie has had some rather tenuous experiences with.

• Book CVIII: Destroy All . . . What?

The RAFians must contend with a Furon incursion, and it turns out the Nyacs have knowledge of Furons. . . .

• Book CIX: Going Backwards

A grievious malfunction in Aquilai's TARDIS causes time to reverse its flow and flow backwards.

• Book CX: Death Takes A Holiday

The RAFians must convince Death to take up his role again.  A RAFian will die in this book, and it is within the continuity.

• Book CXI: High Price Stakes

Shanker and Gaz must flee and elude Daphne, the vampire hunter.

• Book CXII: A Killer Housing Market

The RAFians must survive and either destroy or escape a killer house.

• Book CXIII: A Silenced World

The RAFians must cope with a world that has become muted and a young sorceress, Melissa Spellman.

• Book CXIV: The Bureau

The RAFians must save their own from the insideous Bureau of Lost.

• Book CXV: To Tell the Truth

Broken's apprentice, Melissa, accidentally casts a spell forcing everyone to tell the truth.

• Book CXVI: Skin Crawlers

The RAFians, repulsed and revolted, must contend with Hundred (who eventually becomes Thousand, then becomes Million, then Billion, and then, finally, Trillion).

• Book CXVII: School of Stepford Lies

The RAFians must save the children from a school that turns them into Stepford students at Terenia's school.

• Book CXVIII: Ol' Salty

The RAFians must deal with the Salt Man.

• Book CXIX: The Great Race

The RAFians hold a race that Aloth cons himself into.  Who will win?

• Book CXX: Ape Escape

The RAFians must help super intelligent apes -- Caesar the chimp, Brutus the gorilla, and Maestro the orangutan -- reconcil their misanthropy.

• Book CXXI: A Different Kind of Unity

The RAFians must contend with a parasitic "unity".

• Book CXXII: The Great Brain Robery

Someone is stealing brains for an unknown purpose.

• Book CXXIII: The Bounty Hunter

The Knights, in their hypocricy, hire a Tsul'Kalu bounty hunter to collect select RAFians (to taxidermy).

• Book CXXIV: New Controllers

The RAFians confront Zirconians.

• Book CXXV: Creeping Crystal

A wave of crystallizing energy is sweeping the land. . . .

• Book CXXVI: The Element Feeder

The RAFians deal with a creature who feeds on a specific element and matures to a different element each time as it matures. . . .

• Book CXXVII: The Rider and the Walker

The RAFians come up against the Ghost Rider.

• Book CXXVIII: Headhunters

What will happen when RAFians lose their heads?  Seriously.

• Book CXXIX: The Color Purple, Man!

The RAFians confront the Purple Man, who manages to turn the entire government against them . . .

• Book CXXX: The Nemetrix Beetle

The RAFians confront the Black Beetle with Nemetrix properties.

• Book CXXXI: It's Tought to Be A Mod

The members of a primitive forum declare Demos and Blue to be mods. . . .

• Book CXXXII: Who-Zilla?

An energy reaction begins turning RAFians into monstrous creatures in 3XXX.  Out-of-continuity book.

• Book CXXXIII: Well, Techadon-ally . . .

The RAFians confront Techadons who assign them qualitive quatilities, and refuse to acknowledge any defeats.

• Book CXXXIV: The Mind's Eye

The RAFians face Spellbinder and his realistic illusions.

• Book CXXXV: Bas-ic Instincts

Bas awakens and attempts to take control of Cloak and other felines.

• Book CXXXVI: Midas Duck

The RAFians must contend with a very strange golden idol and a greedy sneak-thief.

• Book CXXXVII: War with the Warworlds

The RAFians must defeat two heavily-armed Warworlds.

• Book CXXXVIII: Solar Sucks

The RAFians must save Estelore from a device able to suck out her stellar substance and lifeforce.

• Book CXXXIX: Hounded

The RAFians are attacked by hellhounds that only Demos can see, although Cloak can "see" them via Earthsight.

• Book CXL: Politics

The RAFians, much to Cloak's chagrin and irritation, get caught up in the middle of Realm Walker politics.

• Book CXLI: Buggy Afternoon

A Bug is after Parker's blood, to "avenge" their brother slain by the SPARTAN.

• Book CXLII: Cloak's Nightmare

Cloak has an exceedingly vivid nightmare of the Great RAFian Purge. . . .

• Book CXLIII: Cloak and the Olympians

Cloak confronts and defies the Olympians.

• Book CXLIV: Down to Earth

The RAFians have gravity-related problems.

• Book CXLV: Hittin' the Dino-Sauce

The RAFians learn the dangers of Dino-Sauce.

• Book CXLVI: Blood Feud

Shanker's past comes into light. . . .

• Book CXLVII: She's Back! A Dino Story

Pretty much a shameless parody of "We're Back! A Dinosaur Story".

• Book CXLVIII: A Journey into Her Past

Delving into Noelle's pre-RAFian life and her relationship with Ardnalil-Shicom-Maar.

• Book CXLIX: Mortality and Morality

The RAFians face some rather conceited Leviathons.

• Book CL: Utter Pandemonium

Cloak, Gaz, Saffa, Underseen, and Hunter investigate odd goings-on at a theme park island named "Haunted Island".

• Book CLI: A Reality Rewrite

Cloak, Faerie, Broken, and Broken's protege discover a magical, reality-altering typewriter.  Cloak, being a Realm Walker and the other three, being magical, are immune to its rewrites of reality.

• Book CLII: The Coming of Galacticron

The RAFians must save Earth from Galacticron.

• Book CLIII: Theft of Intellectual Property

The RAFians must contend with Brainiac.

• Book CLIV: The Contingency

The RAFians must battle the Talos Project and their living weapon -- Weapon XLIX.

• Book CLV: Muppet, Muppet Man

Parker and Gaz are turned into Muppets. ()

• *Book CLVI: Larval Ambush

The RAFians must deal with insectoid creatures who are parasitoids with humans.

[redtailedsaffa]

Nice. Reminds me of "RAF: The Musical" which was fun. Thanks for the random +1 (or should I say +2?) by the way. Just noticed!

[Cloak]

Well, there'll be another musical book -- "RAFian Idol".  And, you're welcome about the karma.  I generally just applaud people on a whim or if they make me laugh.
 
Now, another chapter, I think.
 

CHAPTER THREE:
Cloak or the Miser

 "Go on, Cloaky," Phoenix said, choosing another marshmallow.
 
"Alright," he replied, tapping his chin thoughtfully, "lemme see . . . oh yes. Well --"
 

***

"The name is CLOAK!" Cloak shouted impetuously, unaware if he could even be heard by the Miser.  His own bravado was much higher in those days, involuntarily emulating his mother.  "Remember it!!"
 
The Miser had escaped in his balloon and soon enough he was at a prudent enough distance that his song lost its effect upon the RAFians and Banned.
 
Queen was shaking, incadescent with rage, having a tantrum about feeling "dirty" and how the Music Miser had defiled her.  She pretty much forced the other two to agree.  The four RAFians left them to it . . . after dispatching them and depositing them back into the Bannedlands -- a truly awful place.
 
Meanwhile, outside of RAF, Kelly was in a field relaxing with a book . . . when a large hot air balloon landed.  Then she heard the music emitted from it.  The Music Miser had noticed her in a field and taken an immediate liking to her, although he labored under the assumption that Cloak was infatuated with her -- which was not the truth -- just as the Miser also assumed Cloak was a mere human with elemental powers.
 
His song with nothing more than assumptions and educated guesses:
 

"Fat and weak, what a disgrace.
Guess Cloak got too lazy.
Ain't gonna fly now, he's just takin' up space.
All his efforts were for naught, and gone down the drain.
But he thinks he's a bum; he lives in the street.
He feels that he's nothing but a major pain.
Alone, by himself, now he's reliving his defeats.
Come here, hear my deal as I say:

You want the Cloak or the Miser?
We don't have all night.
If you want, you can have an appetizer.
You seem decent and, well, all right.
And you really seem to get along well with the cloaked kid,
And this Miser.

Never lets anyone see me sob.
I'm a bit power-hungry.
But I make a pretty mean troll shish kabob.
Have a taste, they were made fresh today.

Try the guy, the miser, or go fly one of those box kites.
Maybe I can suggest an appetizer.
Stay away from that forum, it smells funny tonight.
But you just can't go wrong, I don't kid,
With the Miser.

So every day, the forum comes first.
But I still dream of glory.
He goes in the back and beats up on the worst of the worst,
Hear my song and do as I say:

It's the kid and the Miser, who's never contrite.
Let me please be your wedding adviser.
If you want substitutions, you won't put up a fight.
You can have your money on the bid,
Or the Miser.

The bid or the miser,
The bid or the miser,
The bid or the miser."

It didn't make much sense but it did force Kelly under his sway, and, due to the fact that Marks hadn't existed yet, she went with him, although she wouldn't have, had she been in the right state of mind.
 

***

"He thought you and Cloak --" Saffa asked hesitantly.

"Yeah, he did." Kelly said, unusually intense.  "Cloak never had that kind of interest in me, nor did I in him."

"Our friendship is nothing more than platonic." Cloak said.

"So, he was delusional," Underseen acknowledged.

"Maybe, maybe not," Cloak shrugged.  "I've never really understood his methods."

[Underseen]

I have a feeling that I might ship Cloak and Kelly by the end of this book. Or Kelly  and Music Miser.

[Cloak]

No, Underseen, please don't.  Please no shipping . . . At least not with me in it.

And you may not be so fond of him in later chapters.

Anyway, it'll hafta last you the weekend.

[Gaz]

Good chapters! This book makes me want to watch Music Man or something.

The planned books sound awesome! Seeing the latest addition made me laugh.

[redtailedsaffa]

Dang. I almost thought you'd go with "The name is Figure... CloakedFigure" in your opening line

[Cloak]

Dang. I almost thought you'd go with "The name is Figure... CloakedFigure" in your opening line

Eh, that'd really only be funny if the first part was "Go".

Good chapters! This book makes me want to watch Music Man or something.

The planned books sound awesome! Seeing the latest addition made me laugh.

Well, I'll disclose this much -- it was inspired by an episode of "Angel".

EDIT: Well, I finished planning out the chapters of Book CXLVI ("Blood Feud"), and it took a darker turner then I had expected . . . and I came up with a new idea (#CLVI -- #156 ("Larval Ambushes")).

[Kelly]

You are amazing Cloaky. I can't believe how creative you are.

[Cloak]

Thanks, Kelly.

Now, a new chapter.  Hopefully, I haven't already used the parody in it.  Shortish.
 

CHAPTER FOUR:
That Ol' Song and Theft

Free of any encumbering RAFian interference, and having tied up Kelly at his hideout (an old abandoned opera house), the Music Miser floated above the city.  He had left the hideout, believing it to be perfectly protected.

His voice amplified as he sang, putting the entirety of the city in his musical, lyrical thrall:
 

"The gold of Bizarro,
The jewels of Cortez,
Will seem like mere trinkets
By this time tomorrow!
The gold we find here
Will dwarf them by far!
Oh, with all ya got in ya, boys,
Loot up the city, boys!
Mine, boys, mine -- ev'ry mountain!
And loot, boys, loot 'til ya drop!
Uncover those loverly
Pebbles that sparkle and shine.
It's gold and it's mine . . . mine . . . mine.
Oh, how I love it!
Riches for cheap!
And I'll be on top of the heap!
My bullies back home,
It's not that I'm bitter,
But think how they'll squirm
When they see how I take Twitter!
The men and women online
Will be all over Twitter!
King Richard will reward me!
He'll lord me -- no, king me!
It's mine, mine, mine
For the taking!
It's mine, boys!
Find me that gold!
With those nuggets lugged . . .
It's glory they'll gimme
My dear friend, who-gives-a-whatever,
Will probably build me a shrine!
When all of the gold is mine!
Keep on working, lads!
Don't be shirking, lads!
Mine, boys, mine!
Find me that gold!
Beautiful gold!
Mine!
Find a mother load!
Then find another load!
Loot! Loot! and looty,
Loot! Loot! For that gold!
Make this island
My land!
Make the mounds big, boys!
I'd help you to loot, boys,
But I've got this crick in me spine!
This loot I behold . . .
This beauty untold . . .
A man can be bold!
It all can be sold!
And the gold
Is . . .
Mine!
Mine!
Mine!
Mine!"

Cloak watched all this, unaffected by the mind-controlling song.  He was a little surprised at the sheer avarice of the Miser, but he really shouldn't have been all that shocked.  Cloak knew that he must have had a hideout, but he wasn't aware of where. . . .

***

"Wasn't it obvious?" Saffa asked.

"Not then," Cloak said.  "And I wasn't as . . . aware . . . of things like I am now."

"What do you mean?" Underseen pressed.

"What he means is that he was impulsive and impetuous," Sakki said.

"Gee, thanks." Cloak replied drily.

[Cloak]

Now, a second chapter.  Perhaps a bit short.
 

CHAPTER FIVE:
Cold-Clocked Cloak

Cloak looked at the situation, hoping to divine a way to discover the hideout.  Whereas nowadays he would probably consult some of the other RAFians, at this point in time he was still a bit of a loner.  He was still under his mother's thumb . . . so he had a desire to prove himself that has long since been exhausted, he thought.
 
Cloak noticed something, just then.  All the mind-controlled looters -- the Miser was repeating the same song over and over again -- were heading to one place, dropping off their loot and heading back out to loot again.  It was the old, dilapidated, abandoned opera house.  Cloak could have smacked himself for missing such an obvious connection.
 
However, Cloak did not realize the connection was purposefully obvious. He was not yet jaded or paranoid enough to suspect a trap.
 
Cloak stole to the dark alleyway beside the opera house.  It happened to be next to a butcher (Cloak suspected that it had something to do with the opera house's closure, as the pungent smell of the meat, both fresh and rotting, permeated the air in the alleyway alone was enough to unsteady the Realm Walker.
 
He perked up his ears, and heard, to his relief, that the Music Miser was still singing.  It was a different song, but fortunately not a Bieber one as he didn't really exist yet as a -- ahem -- "celebrity", as the world would suffer from that blight in only a few months time. Clearly Cloak was never a fan.
 
Cloak dashed into the building -- their was a rather conspicuous hold in the back wall.  Yet it had not rung "TRAP" to Cloak.  He was still rather inexperienced in such matters.  Then he walked on all fours, like a tiger, moving shadow to shadow, until he came to a rather large atrium.
 
He stood for a minute at an impasse.  His instinct was to hug the walls, and stay away from the open areas such as this.  But his eyes easily penetrated the gloom and saw a bound Kelly up in the middle of this atrium.  He walked quickly and quietly up to her, and told her that he would get her down, and take her back to the forum.  Kelly didn't reply, she was gagged . . . and her head lolled to the left.  Her eyes were shut, but other than that, she looked untouched.

It was then that Cloak started to suspect that all may not be what it seemed.  It was then that Cloak finally suspected that this may have been nothing more than an elaborate trap.

It was too late -- WHACK!

He was knocked down, his eyes bleary.  He wasn't bleeding, but disorientated.  It took another five WHACKs before Cloak submitted to unconsciousness. . . .

***

"That must've been embarrassing," Saffa said.

Cloak said nothing.

"Point taken," she said in reply to Cloak's surly silence.