Memoirs of a RAFian

[Cloak]

Okay, third chapter up.
 

CHAPTER SIX:
Death Trap

"Oh, stop being like that, Cloak," Kelly chided, "and continue the story."
 
"Oh, all right," Cloak said.  "Anyway --"
 

***

Cloak awoke to find himself bound on the other side of Kelly, who apparently was ungagged and alert.  There were some mechanical sounds, which happened to go off rhythmically.
 
The Music Miser appeared -- now dressed in clothes that seemed to be the color of Ho-oh vomit.  He sang:
 

"Gears grindin',
Chains bindin',
Coils windin',
For a cloaked sap!
Heh heh, death trap!
Pistons pangin',
Chains a-clangin',
Springs sprangin',
It's the last lap.
Death trap."

Then he switched to spoken words as he sneered to Cloak, "No encore for you, Cloak."

Then he turned to Kelly, looking genuinely contrite, "And I'm afraid it's closing night for little Kelly too.  A shame.  Now, the world awaits my final number.  Ciao."

With that he left, and it was just the two RAFians, hovering precariously above numerous death traps.  It looked very grim.  But Cloak was wondering idly why villians just leave the room before assuring that their victims meet their demise.  It was a very cliche thing to do.

Kelly sang:

"Acid steamin',
Blades gleamin'.
Lasers beamin'.
Final nightcap.
Death trap.
Bones crushin'.
Flesh mushin'.
Gore gushin'.
It's a dirtnap.
Death trap.
Death trap.
Death traaaaaaap!"

She sang the last two lines as Cloaky uses his elemental mastery to disable all the traps and free Kelly and himself.  Cloak had to push himself in order to do it -- he never used two elements at the same time before -- he didn't think that he could.

Cloak turned to Kelly and asked, "Was the singing necessary?"

Kelly replied, very quickly, "What are you implying?"

Cloak raised his hands in mock surrender, "Nothing!  Just -- nothing!"

"That's what I thought," Kelly smirked.

"Here," Cloak said, handing Kelly earplugs.  "This way the Miser cannot take control over you again."

"Thanks." Kelly said.

***

"Earplugs?  Really?" Underseen asked incredulously.

"We all can't just simply shapeshift our ears away," Phoenix said calmly, reclining a bit, with his hands behind his head.

"Yes, but . . . that's all it takes to defeat his power?" Saffa asked.

"Ever had to fight while wearing earplugs?" Kelly asked, checking her marshmallow.  "It's a lot harder than you think."

[Cloak]

A new page, so I'm reposting the list.

• Book XXXI: The Metal-Maker

The RAFians must save their own from a Roboticizer.

• Book XXXII: Richard is Missing

The RAFians must cope without Richard.

• Book XXXIII: Emotional Food

The RAFians must confront a different kind of vampire.

• Book XXXIV: Transformation Confrontation

The RAFians must confront some strange machines.

• Book XXXV: Richard's Horn

The RAFians must get Richard's Horn, a mystical musical instrument, back from Malice, who received it from a RAFian traitor.

• Book XXXVI: Feral Scream

A Wildwethel-centric book, he must deal with his feral side.

• Book XXXVII: Predators and Prey

The RAFians are being preyed upon by some sentient predators.

• Book XXXVIII: A Protean Problem

The RAFians must deal with a powerful snot-nosed kid who, quite literally, can do whatever he wants.

• Book XXXIX: The Horsemen

Four RAFians are captured and converted into four Horsemen of the ancient, rogue Realm Walker Cataclysm.

• Book XL: Sizeable Pain in the Necks

The RAFians must deal with Heinlein aliens.

• Book XLI: RAF's Nightmare

The RAFians must survive their own nightmares.

• Book XLII: Unlucky Charms

The RAFians must contend with a rather bloodthirsty leprechaun.

• Book XLIII: The Piper

The RAFians must contend with a pied piper.

• Book XLIV: Starlight Desire

The RAFians race Malice, Abomination, and the Banned to a wishing star (no, not Estelore).

• Book XLV: A War of Armor

Parker is outraged to see knockoffs of his rather unique armor and what they're being used for.

• Book XLVI: The Worst Plague

The RAFians must weather the worst plague to ever existed -- the Hate Plague.

• Book XLVII: Little Alien Napoleons

The RAFians are caught in the middle of a war between Helmacrons and Fmeks.

• Book XLVIII: Go Away!

The RAFians must deal with the paparazzi who are all of a sudden interested in them.

• Book XLIX: RAFian Tales

RAFians tell various RAFian-themed stories across a lunch table.

• Book L: Maul

The RAFians must deal with the result of one of Demos's experiments.

• Book LI: Erised Orbs

The RAFians must face their greatest desires.

• Book LII: RAFians Alive!

Read the "Mummies Alive" parody in the RAFize songs thread.

• Book LIII: The Pain Reliever

The RAFians must deal with an elderly Vulcan styling himself the "Pain Reliever".

• Book LIV: Beyond the Veils

Aquilai and Aila must confront old foes while the other RAFians must put up with a Czarinian bounty hunter.

• Book LV: Dangerous Deals

Demos meets up with his half-brother, Shenecron, who has a perchant for making deals.

• Book LVI: Of One Mind

Malice seeks out the Unimind.

• Book LVII: The End of Time

The RAFians must contend with two Kryptonians (who think they're Time Lords) and prevent them from ending time altogether.

• Book LVIII: Hematomimic

The RAFians must capture a Plasmavore and put up with it's rather stupid Judoon jailer.

• Book LIX: Sins of Youth

Estelore, Richard, Parker, and Cloak must survive when the entire city and forum have been reduced to two-year-olds.

• Book LX: The Replacements

The RAFians must contend with the fame-feeding Eidolon Consciousness.

• Book LXI: Arachnoids

The RAFians must contend with the Arachnoids and finding a cure for one of their own that was poisoned before it's too late.

• Book LXII: Personal Tissues

The RAFians must contend with some one misusing Bibliophaetos's discarded book shell.

• Book LXIII: Memory Today, Gone Tomorrow

The RAFians lose their memory and must find a way to regain it.

• Book LXIV: Appliance Armageddon

A superintelligent computer controls all electronics, and the RAFians must stop it.

• Book LXV: Prodigy and Composite

Some RAFians are merged into two separate entities.

• Book LXVI: The Merging

The Universes begin colliding and merging.

• Book LXVII: Be A Doll

The RAFians are confronted by a Super Chucky.

• Book LXVIII: They're Such Cards

The RAFians are sealed into cards, which end up trapped in an ancient leather-bound book, and it's up to three kids to free them.  An out-of-continuity book.

• Book LXIX: Dinosaur Island

Everyone, except those that bear a Mark, begin turning saurian.

• Book LXX: Corrupted

The RAFians must deal with the son of Cataclysm, Corruptor.

• Book LXXI: Artificial Skins

The RAFians must deal with symbiotes.

• Book LXXII: Separation Anxiety

The RAFians must contend with an ethereal virus.

• Book LXXIII: A Thing About RAFians

The RAFians must contend with Seekers, which home in onto their Marks.

• Book LXXIV: A Planted Idea

The RAFians must contend with a floramaniac.

• Book LXXV: Vacation Photos

The RAFians are sucked into a Polarisoid camera.

• Book LXXVI: A Personal Gremlin

The RAFians must contend with gremlins.

• Book LXXVII: The Rust is Silence

The Rafians must deal with an oxidation ray wielded by a criminal.

• Book LXXVIII: The Toyman Cometh

The RAFians deal with a Toyman-esque character.

• Book LXXIX: RAFian Idol

Yes, just another excuse to put in more of the (as of writing) nearly 800 parodies.

• Book LXXX: Savage Heart

Cloak battles an ancient being called Garrotik.

• Book LXXXI: Slave Islands and Juggernauts

Three RAFians are taken prisoners by the Knights and sold into the slavery of New Genoshia, while the others deal with a juggernaut.

• Book LXXXII: Shredding a King

The RAFians deal with a demonic Shredder-like ghost called Regiphaetos.

• Book LXXXIII: RAF -- The TV Show

The RAFians are forcibly recruited to Mojo's programs.

• Book LXXXIV: The Drinker

The RAFians must contend with a Spirit-Drinker.

• Book LXXXV: The Last Laugh

The RAFians must face Joker Gas.

• Book LXXXVI: It's A Mad, Mad, Mad Villain

The RAFians must contend with mind control cards which are ineffective on them.

• Book LXXXVII: Sight Unseen

Six RAFians are rendered functionally blind, optically-speaking.

• Book LXXXVIII: Don't Let It Snow

The RAFians must face a second Ice Age caused by a Diznee Ice Ifrit.

• Book LXXXIX: The Rachel Toxin

The RAFians must find a cure to a toxin that increases the fearlessness, hostility and aggressiveness induced in people which the Mark cannot protect the RAFians from.

• Book XC: Virus Alert!

The RAFians face a dangerous virus seeking a host.

• Book XCI: A Youthful Thief

The RAFians face a creature that siphons off the youth in its victims, provided they're younger than him.

• Book XCII: Calendar Creep

The RAFians face the Calendar Creep, a criminal whose crimes are holiday themed.

• Book XCIII: The Branding

Faerie fights a witch-boy named Salem (and his magical black cat, Saberhagen) for a magical branding iron in Faerie's possession.

• Book XCIV: The Void Zone

Nothing like a "Subspace Emissary" parody.  Sorry.

• Book XCV: An Epic Yarn

The RAFians' world is turned into yarn and fabric.

• Book XCVI: RAFian Gladiators

RAFians are kidnapped by Gamesmaster, another rogue Realm Walker, and force to participate in gladiatorial games.

• Book XCVII: The Box

The RAFians must cage thirteen Revenants released from Pandora's Box -- each representing and amplifying a particular feeling (i.e. hatred), while looking for the perfect host.

• Book XCVIII: From the Shadows

The RAFians must save their shadows and the shadows of everyone else from being absorbed (eaten) by the Umbraraptors, but not everything is what it seems.

• Book XCIX: Grimm Prospects

The RAFians discover Malice controlling several "wesen" with control collars akin to April's in "Catwoman from Channel Six" and get stuck in one-on-one battles to the death with them.  One will die.

• Book C: Loop-De-Loop

Everyone's trapped in a temporal loop, but the only ones that realize it are Cloak, Aila, and Aquilai.

• Book CI: Get 'Em, Shaw

The RAFians face a creature native to the planet Gossamer, who's under the control of Malice.

• Book CII: Threadfall

The RAFians must exterminate an epidemic of Thread.

• Book CIII: Siren's Song

The RAFians must deal with a siren and her alluring song.

• Book CIV: Resistance is Futile

The RAFians must deal with a hybridization of the Borg and the Hive chips (Ben 10: Alien Swarm) -- which the Mark cannot protect them from, nor the Unity energy can destroy.

• Book CV: The Titan

The RAFians must contend with the Titan serum and its effects.

• Book CVI: A Stony Glare

The RAFians must deal with a hungry Stone-Biter and a petrifying venom of a Diznee Stone Ifrit.

• Book CVII: Spritely Pests

The RAFians must deal with irritating sprites, which Faerie has had some rather tenuous experiences with.

• Book CVIII: Destroy All . . . What?

The RAFians must contend with a Furon incursion, and it turns out the Nyacs have knowledge of Furons. . . .

• Book CIX: Going Backwards

A grievious malfunction in Aquilai's TARDIS causes time to reverse its flow and flow backwards.

• Book CX: Death Takes A Holiday

The RAFians must convince Death to take up his role again.  A RAFian will die in this book, and it is within the continuity.

• Book CXI: High Price Stakes

Shanker and Gaz must flee and elude Daphne, the vampire hunter.

• Book CXII: A Killer Housing Market

The RAFians must survive and either destroy or escape a killer house.

• Book CXIII: A Silenced World

The RAFians must cope with a world that has become muted and a young sorceress, Melissa Spellman.

• Book CXIV: The Bureau

The RAFians must save their own from the insideous Bureau of Lost.

• Book CXV: To Tell the Truth

Broken's apprentice, Melissa, accidentally casts a spell forcing everyone to tell the truth.

• Book CXVI: Skin Crawlers

The RAFians, repulsed and revolted, must contend with Hundred (who eventually becomes Thousand, then becomes Million, then Billion, and then, finally, Trillion).

• Book CXVII: School of Stepford Lies

The RAFians must save the children from a school that turns them into Stepford students at Terenia's school.

• Book CXVIII: Ol' Salty

The RAFians must deal with the Salt Man.

• Book CXIX: The Great Race

The RAFians hold a race that Aloth cons himself into.  Who will win?

• Book CXX: Ape Escape

The RAFians must help super intelligent apes -- Caesar the chimp, Brutus the gorilla, and Maestro the orangutan -- reconcil their misanthropy.

• Book CXXI: A Different Kind of Unity

The RAFians must contend with a parasitic "unity".

• Book CXXII: The Great Brain Robery

Someone is stealing brains for an unknown purpose.

• Book CXXIII: The Bounty Hunter

The Knights, in their hypocricy, hire a Tsul'Kalu bounty hunter to collect select RAFians (to taxidermy).

• Book CXXIV: New Controllers

The RAFians confront Zirconians.

• Book CXXV: Creeping Crystal

A wave of crystallizing energy is sweeping the land. . . .

• Book CXXVI: The Element Feeder

The RAFians deal with a creature who feeds on a specific element and matures to a different element each time as it matures. . . .

• Book CXXVII: The Rider and the Walker

The RAFians come up against the Ghost Rider.

• Book CXXVIII: Headhunters

What will happen when RAFians lose their heads?  Seriously.

• Book CXXIX: The Color Purple, Man!

The RAFians confront the Purple Man, who manages to turn the entire government against them . . .

• Book CXXX: The Nemetrix Beetle

The RAFians confront the Black Beetle with Nemetrix properties.

• Book CXXXI: It's Tought to Be A Mod

The members of a primitive forum declare Demos and Blue to be mods. . . .

• Book CXXXII: Who-Zilla?

An energy reaction begins turning RAFians into monstrous creatures in 3XXX.  Out-of-continuity book.

• Book CXXXIII: Well, Techadon-ally . . .

The RAFians confront Techadons who assign them qualitive quatilities, and refuse to acknowledge any defeats.

• Book CXXXIV: The Mind's Eye

The RAFians face Spellbinder and his realistic illusions.

• Book CXXXV: Bas-ic Instincts

Bas awakens and attempts to take control of Cloak and other felines.

• Book CXXXVI: Midas Duck

The RAFians must contend with a very strange golden idol and a greedy sneak-thief.

• Book CXXXVII: War with the Warworlds

The RAFians must defeat two heavily-armed Warworlds.

• Book CXXXVIII: Solar Sucks

The RAFians must save Estelore from a device able to suck out her stellar substance and lifeforce.

• Book CXXXIX: Hounded

The RAFians are attacked by hellhounds that only Demos can see, although Cloak can "see" them via Earthsight.

• Book CXL: Politics

The RAFians, much to Cloak's chagrin and irritation, get caught up in the middle of Realm Walker politics.

• Book CXLI: Buggy Afternoon

A Bug is after Parker's blood, to "avenge" their brother slain by the SPARTAN.

• Book CXLII: Cloak's Nightmare

Cloak has an exceedingly vivid nightmare of the Great RAFian Purge. . . .

• Book CXLIII: Cloak and the Olympians

Cloak confronts and defies the Olympians.

• Book CXLIV: Down to Earth

The RAFians have gravity-related problems.

• Book CXLV: Hittin' the Dino-Sauce

The RAFians learn the dangers of Dino-Sauce.

• Book CXLVI: Blood Feud

Shanker's past comes into light. . . .

• Book CXLVII: She's Back! A Dino Story

Pretty much a shameless parody of "We're Back! A Dinosaur Story".

• Book CXLVIII: A Journey into Her Past

Delving into Noelle's pre-RAFian life and her relationship with Ardnalil-Shicom-Maar.

• Book CXLIX: Mortality and Morality

The RAFians face some rather conceited Leviathons.

• Book CL: Utter Pandemonium

Cloak, Gaz, Saffa, Underseen, and Hunter investigate odd goings-on at a theme park island named "Haunted Island".

• Book CLI: A Reality Rewrite

Cloak, Faerie, Broken, and Broken's protege discover a magical, reality-altering typewriter.  Cloak, being a Realm Walker and the other three, being magical, are immune to its rewrites of reality.

• Book CLII: The Coming of Galacticron

The RAFians must save Earth from Galacticron.

• Book CLIII: Theft of Intellectual Property

The RAFians must contend with Brainiac.

• Book CLIV: The Contingency

The RAFians must battle the Talos Project and their living weapon -- Weapon XLIX.

• Book CLV: Muppet, Muppet Man

Parker and Gaz are turned into Muppets. ()

• *Book CLVI: Larval Ambush

The RAFians must deal with insectoid creatures who are parasitoids with humans.

[Cloak]

How about a fourth? Gonna be a LONG one.
 

CHAPTER SEVEN:
Miserly Plans

"What happened next, Cloak?" Saffa asked.
 
"Okay," Cloak said, "lemme see . . ."
 

***

Cloak and Kelly used hand signals and gestures -- neither one was telepathic, and in any case, Cloak was immune from Dweller telepathy (and Realm Walker telepaths, while not unheard of, were rarer than finding a shiny Mew).  Cloak may have not needed earplugs, but Kelly did, and, as such, would not hear him say anything.
 
Then Cloak heard a creak and suspicious footsteps.  He wasn't about to take any more chances.  He put his hand upon Kelly's shoulder, and she stopped, looking at Cloak, who was looking over his shoulder.  They were downwind of the direction the noises came from.  Cloak held his body rather rigidly and with unnerving stillness, like a tiger who was hunting prey.
 
Then came the scent . . . it took Cloak a moment to recognize it.  It wasn't a dangerous smell -- rather like latex gloves and bunsen burners.  Cloak soon realized it was the scent of a Nyac.
 
"Yarin, what are you doing here?"
 
Yarin stepped from the shadows.  "How'd you know it was me?"
 
"You've made no attempt to disguise your scent," Cloak pointed out.
 
Yarin looked a bit confused, but at this point in time, it wasn't real wide knowledge that Cloak was a tiger beneath the cloak.  That wouldn't happen until a month or two later.
 
"You have that acute of an olfactory sense?" Yarin asked.
 
"Yes," Cloak said, "but never mind that now.  You need to put in earplugs -- I haven't got any more -- so that the Miser doesn't take control over you."
 
Yarin looked slightly offended at the suggestion.  "Cloak, my telepathy is far stronger than the Miser's influence!"
 
"So, your telepathy immunizes you from Miser's mind control?" Cloak said, skeptically.
 
"Yes," Yarin said haughtily.
 
"You'd better be right," Cloak said.

"WHAT?!" Kelly shouted, and then, after Yarin telepathically filled her in, said, "OH."

***

"So Yarin's immune to mind control?" Saffa asked.

"Yes, but I believe his immunity has more caveats than mine," Cloak said.  "But I don't know what they are."

"Stop interrupting, I wanna find out how it ends!" Underseen said, after deliberately shapeshifting into the form of an obnoxious, whiny young boy -- simply for the laughs.  Then he resumed his normal form.

"Well, back to the story --" Cloak said, scratching his chin.

***

The three travelled to the outskirts of the city, where there was a run-downed building with a huge satellite dish beside it -- the true site of the Miser's HQ.  The three stopped just short of it.

"Whoa," Yarin said aloud.

"What?" Cloak said, while Kelly looked just as perplexed, but said nothing, as she knew it would probably be too loud.

"It's amazing that I'm getting reception to the Miser's mind from this far away and so easily.  It's like he doesn't have a defense, or --"

"Or he expects it." Cloak finished.  "Can you try to dig deeper?"

Yarin closed all six of his eyes and concentrated, focused.  It took a few minutes, and Cloak heard the song he was singing stop momentarily with grunts of pain.

Then Yarin's eyes snapped open.  "I got his plan."

***

"Well?  What was it?" Saffa said.

"Tune in next time," Cloak said, with a mischievous smile on his face, "same RAF time, same RAF channel."

"Cloak, that's not funny!!" Underseen said, agitated.  He looked like Mystique did when she randomly was forming and unforming parts in "X2".  Cloak laughed anyway.

"Cloak," Kelly scolded good-naturedly, "come now."

"Okay, okay," Cloak said, "I couldn't resist."

"He plans to use this satellite equipment to amplify his voice and put the --"

"The entire world in his thrall," Cloak finished.

"How'd you know that?"

"It's so cliche -- and this guy is all about the cliches." Cloak shrugged.

"But that's not all," Yarin said.  "He plans to take a wife as well."

Cloak facepalmed, "Oh, let me guess --"

"That's right.  He plans to marry Kelly."

[redtailedsaffa]

Quite an old-fashioned 90s villain this guy is!

I'm quite a curious little bird, aren't I?

[Cloak]

Ironic, too, cause it takes place in 2009, or thereabouts. . . .

Okay, looks like I screwed up a bit, and this book may only have 19 chapters.

CHAPTER EIGHT:
Kelly, Unplugged

"Enough with the suspense," Saffa said waspishly, "what are you waiting for? A commercial break?"

Cloak deftly looks at the reader, then back at Saffa, and continued . . .

***

"Uh oh," Yarin cried.

"What?" Kelly mouthed.

"Don't tell me that he was aware of the telepathic probe," Cloak groaned to Yarin.

Yarin smiled sheepishly and said, "Alright then . . . I won't tell you."

"Ha ha ha," Cloak replied tonelessly. "Great. How long do we have before he gets here?"

"Oh . . ." Yarin said, noticing that they were surrounded, "I'd say zero minutes."

***

"Wait, what?" Underseen asked. "Why couldn't you just 'Earthsee' it?"

"I hadn't even learned it yet," Cloak said, laying a delicate emphasis on each syllable.

"Oh, ooooh-kay," Underseen said, holding his hands defensively.  He was still holding up his marshmallow stick, which the roasted marshmallow glopped to the ground, to which Underseen responded, "Shoot!"

"So, what happened next?" Saffa said helping herself to a s'more.

"Well --"

***

The three RAFians stood their ground, not budging an inch.

"That really hurt," the Miser said. Then he ordered his minions to fight the trio.

Yarin was not much in the terms of brute strength, like Cloak was. Kelly was suffering from the notable handicap of being unable to hear. Which, in its way was fortunate -- the Misers constant vocalizations were getting irritating. The battle was going reasonably well, all three avoided actually maiming or killing these mind-controlled drones.

The Cloak heard something that he wished he had not.

"Come to me, my darling," the Miser said, "let's remove those unsightly accessories . . ."

"Kelly!" Yarin exclaimed.

"No!" Cloak protested.

Too late.  The plugs were out, and the satellite dish was charging up . . .

"Oh, this ain't good," Yarin observed.

"Obviously," Cloak said.

[Cloak]

First chapter today.
 

CHAPTER NINE:
Put A Sock In It!

"What do we do now?" Yarin asked.
 
"The only thing we can do," Cloak said, sounding more like his present-day self, "you go and stop that satellite program. I'll handle things out here."
 
"But --"
 
"You've an alternative?"
 
"No, but --"
 
"Just do it. I'll be fine."
 
Yarin dashed into the rather rickety old shack to disarm the satellite.
 
This did not go unnoticed, as the Music Miser attempt to follow the Nyac.
 
"Sorry, Miser," Cloak said, cracking his knuckles threateningly, "your fight is me."
 
Then he tried to hide behind the mind-controlled Kelly -- some heroic chap, right?
 
Cloak bypassed Kelly with an aerial flip and delivered a gutbusting kick to the Miser, causing him to double over in pain.
 
"Kelly . . . do . . . do . . ."
 
But the kick delivered knocked the breath from him, and, without breath, one cannot sing.
 
Cloak grabbed the Miser and lifted him straight off the ground -- he weighed about nothing.
 
"Put . . . a sock . . . in it!!" Cloak snarled and gave the Miser a punch to his face that knocked him out.
 
Meanwhile, Yarin was at the console, disturbed at the crudeness and primitiveness of the setup. He easily managed to disable the satellite and he disassembled the equipment.
 

***

"-- And then the police came to arrest the Miser."
 
"They did take proper precautions, right?" Saffa asked.
 
"They muzzled him with a sound-negating device, and forbid him from speaking at the trial at a frequency higher than normal," Kelly said, gathering up the empty marshmallow bag, while Helen gathered the empty Hershey chocolate wrappers and Parker gathered up the graham cracker box and wrappers. With a snap of his fingers, Cloak put out the campfire.

[redtailedsaffa]

Aww, campfire over.

[Cloak]

Oh, perk up!  There are still another ten chapters (give or take) to go, Saffa!  Counting this one.

Second chapter.
 

CHAPTER TEN:
Can't Stop the Music

Meanwhile, in a maximum security prison, the Miser milled around in the soundless, sound-absorbing room.  He wore a rather raggedy, baggy prison jumpsuit with the monochromatic stripes.  His hair was limp, yet greasy.  His eyes were sunken and bloodshot.  He was missing three teeth.  He was wearing -- forcibly -- a device that silenced him and made his voice sound raspy, far too raspy to use his unique ability.  He was essentially powerless, as he wasn't all that strong,
 
It was pure hell for him, being in such a prison.  There were more bullies here than there was in his childhood schools.  But this is the price for villainy, and he should have accepted it, which he refused to believe was reality.
 
He still was enamored with Kelly, desiring her with a fiery passion, fantasizing about her in ways that would make any normal, sane person vomit.  The Miser spent his days thinking about her as he slept, as he ate, as he was beaten up.
 
So it came as a surprise when the exterior wall to his cell suddenly collapsed with a powerful energy burst.  And the aforementioned energy ripped off the device.  His skin bore the damage from being saddled with the device for three, nearly four, years.
 
"What?" the Miser said, rather croakily.
 
A silhouette appeared, and the Miser looked at it.  He reacted with anger.
 
"YOU!  Why are you here?!  Was not my humiliation enough for you, Cloak?!"
 
"I," said the shadowed Realm Walker, seemingly to take offense at this, "am not Cloak.  I am called Malice."
 
"What do you want?"
 
"Oh, think of me as your personal Abe Lincoln," Malice said, rather foppishly, "I'm here to set you free."
 
"Why?"
 
"Oh," Malice said, waving her hand conversationally, "to allow you to reek your vengeance upon the forum.  I think it should be truly entertaining to watch."
 
Miser opened his mouth to inquire some more, but Malice intercepted him, replying serenely, "If you don't hurry, then you'll never get out.  Do you want to escape, or do want to question me?"

Miser narrowed his eyes at her as the floodlights and sirens started to blare.  He decided to escape, as Malice told him of the buried remains of something to his advantage quite a distance away from here.

[redtailedsaffa]

Didn't know Malice knew who Abe Lincoln was.

[Cloak]

We Realm Walkers aren't history dunces.

. . .

Okay, well, I am, but that's beside the point.

Third chapter today.
 

CHAPTER ELEVEN:
The Miser's New Pet

The Miser headed toward the direction that Malice had indicated.  She had subtly inferred that he could use this device to make Kelly love him -- by force, if need be.  So he strove to find where it was.  He dove into an underwater cave and swam toward the device.  It was a long swim, but he managed to "convince" a store owner to let him have a scuba tank pro bono.
 
Then he nearly plunged off an underground waterfall.  He managed to grasp as stalactite for all he was worth . . . when a stress fracture started to appear in it.  The Miser tried to "convince" it, through song, not to break.  But stalactites have no minds of their own to control, so it promptly broke off and the Miser plummeted through the air, riding the stalactite to what he believed to be his doom.  He questioned following the advice of Malice -- now believing all Realm Walkers were not to be trusted.
 
He did not go SPLAT as he braced himself for.  Instead, he was forced away from his stalactite as he splashed down into the winding river's rapids.

"Oh, lovely," he rolled his eyes.

***

"He did WHAT?!" Kelly yelled.

"The Miser escaped from the --" Aquilai began.

"What?! How?!" Kelly said, clearly agitated.  She had good reason to be.  She knew the Miser lusted after her, even though she clearly despised him.  She knew he would make a play to win her affections, even though he had about as much of a chance as seventy meteors hitting the world in the exact (emphasis on exact) same spot, one after another.

"It appeares the wall caved in," Aquilai said.

Cloak facepalmed, and growled, "Malice."

"Huh? How'd she know about the Miser?" Aquilai asked, alarmed.

"She must have overheard the story at the campfire last night." Cloak said, arms folded close to his body. "It's my fault, I got careless. I should have Earthsighted her, but I didn't at all."

"You can't blame yourself, Cloak." Kelly said, still the anxiety remained in her voice.

"Then who can I blame?" Cloak said rhetorically.

***

The Miser's clothing were really nothing but strips of rags and he looked like he went through quite an ordeal.

"This had BETTER be worth it," he snarled, as he pulled himself on to the bank of the river, whose current had thankfully slowed to being a gentle, but deep stream.  He eased himself to his feet, and walked, in a rather loopy gait, to some sort of damaged electronic thing.  It looked gigantic.

"What is this?" he asked, and he touched it.  Somehow, his touch sparked it to life, "healing" it's case and revealing itself to be the evil, demonic, sentient MP3 player. . . . It snuggled against the Miser as if some overlarge, demented dog.  The Miser smiled at his new pet and said, "Well, MP3, it's time to get to business, don't you say?"

[Cloak]

Now, the fourth chapter today.  Sorry, it'll be a bit short.
 

CHAPTER TWELVE:
A Markedly Unexpected Defense

"Alright, girl," the Miser said, leaping onboard of the MP3 monster whom he decided was female, "let's go and get your mommy here."
 
Of course, with that disturbing sentence uttered, it was obvious who the Miser thought that the MP3 monster's "mommy" should be. So, they flew out of the cave quite easily and effortlessly.  It was crystal clear just where they were headed. . . .
 
High above RAF, the Miser, unaware of just what could change in the span of three (nearly four) years, he vocalized loudly.  Using his "gift" to try to bring the RAFians under his control.  Years ago, that would have worked -- but this time each and every RAFian were packing a Mark of a RAFian.  The Miser could not control them -- although he would not have been able to control Cloak, Richard, Yarin and a few other RAFians.

"Ah-ah-aaaaaaaaaah!" he continued, not quite understanding just why it wasn't working.  The MP3 monster was boosting his powers at levels that they weren't before.  He should have control over the entire forum -- more importantly Kelly -- by now.

"Okay, guys!" Cloak announced.  "All together now."

Several beams of Unity Energy shot by the Miser, who backed off a good, long distance away.  His head was ****ed a little to the side, a bit confused about this odd new development.  The Miser thought about it a bit, and decided that perhaps he and his pet alone were not enough to take on RAF, who clearly had gotten more powerful in the intervening years.

He turned his sights for an already-made army in the Bannedlands.

***

All RAFians were still staring skyward.

"Was it enough?" Aquilai asked.

"I hope so," Richard said.

"No, it wasn't," Kelly said.  "Not enough to deter him permanently, anyway."

"Kelly's right," Cloak concurred.  "He'll be back.  Probably with an army of mind-controlled slaves."

"Hey, we could be lucky," Parker shrugged.  "His army could be just the Banned and their trolls."

***

He easily bent the Banned and the trolls to his will, and, with the power of the MP3 monster at his command, he was not required to sing continuously to keep them in his thrall.  He laughed maliciously as he plotted and schemed. . . .

[Cloak]

A fifth chapter -- today is a really good day, I guess.
 

CHAPTER THIRTEEN:
What's Up Bannedlands

The Miser began to reinforce his control over the Banned and the trolls, as they sang:

"Welcome to Bannedlands,
Such a perfect town.
Here we have some rules,
Let us lay them down.
Don’t make waves, stay in line,
And we’ll get along fine.
Bannedlandis the barrenest place.
Please keep of the glass.
Shine your shoes, wipe your . . . face.
Bannedlands are, Bannedlands are, Bannedlands are an imperfect place."

Then Queen said, quite against her will, "And here’s the man who made it happen! That towering colossus of moxie! Lord Miser!"

The Miser sang, grandoisely:

"Once upon a time
This place was infested.
Freaks on every corner –
I had them all arrested.
Hey nonny-nonny-nonny-no.
If you had a quirk,
You didn’t pass inspection.
We all have our standards,
But I will have perfection.
And soooooo . . .
And soooooo . . .
Things are looking up here in the Bannedlands.
The things I’m cooking up here in the Bannedlands.
A model that amazes.
A plan with seventy phases.
Things are looking up here in the Bannedlands.
In the Bannedlands!
The ladies all look swell.
The men are so dashing.
Thanks to my dress code,
The fashion is never clashing.
Hey nonny-nonny-nonny-no.
This castle I had built.
Is taller than the cliff-tops.
A city like a postcard –
A monorail and gift shops!
And so . . .
And so . . .
And so . . .
Ev'ryone's from the gutter in the Bannedlands.
Embrace the cookie cutter in the Bannedlands.
The upshot is enormous
When you can shout –
“Conform us”!
Yes!  Things . . . are . . .
Looking . . .
Uuuuuup . . .
Here in the Bannedlands.
There’s no sign of slowing!
We’re growing!
We’re growing!
Things are looking up here –
Things I’m cooking up here --
My hard work, and my rigor,
Have made me so much bigger!
Things are looking uuuuuuuuuuuup . . .
Things are looking uuuuuuuuuuuup . . .
In the Bannedlands.
Here in the Bannedlands!
Up . . . up . . .
Up . . . up . . .
Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu uup!"

The Miser was smiling broadly as he looked over his army.

"There." he said gregariously.  "Now that we established who's in charge, and sung a completely pointless song, it's time to develop a plan that's nasty enough.*"

---
* What do you expect from a singing villain.  Depth?

[Cloak]

Sixth chapter.  More pointless songs, I'm afraid.
 

CHAPTER FOURTEEN:
The Miser Wants the Good Times Back

"Oh, what the heck, how about a more back ground information, first?" the Miser said, finally relishing being on a "stage" again.  It was unfortunate that the Banned nor the trolls could groan from this.
 
The Miser sang:
 

"My reign – why, it was blissfully delicious!
And glamour, glitz and style were au courante!
Did I use some vocal magic?
Well, oopsie— my bad!
Did I mutilate, maim and destroy?
Just a tad!
And for that, I get arrested!
But me, I’m not mad.
There’s just one little thing that I want . . .
Just one eensy teensy thing that I want:

I want the good times back!
I want those grand ol’ days!
I want the twisted nights.
The sick delights.
The wild soireés!
I want those trembling crowds of shellfish
Cracked and peeled for me to dine.
Not because I’m mean or selfish —

I only want what’s mine!
I want disgusting wealth!
I want exquisite sin!
Want the entire world, see,
To worship me
On bended knee and begin!
I want to greet my loving subjects
And then give them a good snack!
Remember those good times?
I want them back!"

"Picture it, my minions. Pretty soon, I’ll be back on top! Sipping bubbly. Eating caviar! Cloak is the only thing that stands in my way. If only I can find his Achilles heel . . . the soft quivering underbelly beneath all that armor . . . and then guys… oh, guys… we’re back in business!" he related.

Then he continued:

"I want to make the RAFians cower,
Like they did in days of yore!
Sure, it’s sheer abuse of power—
Ain’t that what power’s for?
I want to taste their tears!
I want to hear their screams!
I want the special rush
You get from crushing
Hopes and dreams!
It’s an aphrodisiac!
Oh god! Were they good times!
Let’s get them back!
If only I had a way
To make her pay
I’d set ol’ Kelly straight!
I want that girl!
And guys, I want her bad!
I want that goody-goody Cloak
To come rescue her – the sap!
And then one way or another—
I’ll spring the trap!
And get the good times back!
I mean with all the perks!
They'll be accident-prone—
All mine alone!
The whole dern works!
But most of all, I want ol’ Cloak
Pinned and wriggling on the rack
Then, fellas, it’s my time!
And frankly, it’s high time!
Those fabulous good times . . .
They’re coming back!"

The Miser was silent for a minute.

"Okay, now for the real plan."
 

***

Cloak tapped his foot expectantly.  He had expected the Miser to show up immediately with his army, whatever he chose for an army.  But it was becoming very clear that the guy was taking his sweet time.  Cloak wasn't a very patient tiger to begin with.

"Give it up, Cloak," Parker said, buffing his armor (while still wearing it), "he's not coming."

"Yet." Kelly clarified.  "He's not coming yet."

"Fine," Parker said, "he's not coming yet.  Happy?"

"Not particularly." Kelly replied.

[Cloak]

Okay -- final chapter for today.  (Maybe.)
 

CHAPTER FIFTEEN:
Be Prepared

"Alright, now --" the Miser said, than he sang:

"I know that your powers of retention
Are as wet as a warthog's backside.
But thick as you are . . . PAY ATTENTION!
My words are a matter of pride.
It's clear from your vacant expressions,
The lights are not all on upstairs.
But we're talking lords and successions.
Even you can't be caught unawares!
So prepare for a chance of a lifetime.
Be prepared for sensational news.
A shining new era
Is tiptoeing nearer."

Queen managed:

"And where do we feature?"

The Miser sang, after pinching Queen's cheek rather roughly:

"Just listen to teacher --
I know it sounds sordid,
But you'll be rewarded!
When, at last, I am given my dues.
And injustice deliciously squared.
Be prepared!

Of course, quid pro quo, you're expected
To take certain duties on board.
The future is littered with prizes,
And though I'm the main addressee,
The point that I must emphasize is
You won't get a sniff without me!
So prepare for the coup of the century.
Be prepared for the murkiest scam.
Meticulous planning.
Tenacity spanning.
Years of denial
Is simply why I'll
Be lord undisputed,
Respected, saluted,
And seen for the wonder I am!

Yes, my teeth and ambitions are bared.
Be prepared!"

Then, finally, they moved out toward RAF.

***

Cloak's ears twitched ever so slightly, and he looked off in the direction of the Bannedlands.

"What?" Kelly said, ever tense.

"It's faint . . ." Cloak said, looking intensely in the direction he Earthsighted, "but it looks like the Miser found his army."

Parker stopped his meticulous care of his armor, and looked at Cloak as if he could not be serious.  Parker's voice was incredulous, "You're kidding, right?  The Banned?  He seriously took the Banned and trolls as his army?"

"Looks like it." Cloak said, still staring in the direction like a hungry tiger who has sighted prey.

"Well, this'll be easier than . . . well . . . oh, I can't come up with an analogy right now.  Sheesh, he must have really been isolated in that prison." Parker said, unable to keep the disbelief from his voice.

[Cloak]

New chapter.
 

CHAPTER SIXTEEN:
Things Out Here

Cloak stood steadfast where he was, while Parker sighed and donned his helmet in a rather less dramatic way as mist curled in in far more dramatically, but in an ominous way.  Kelly was a little unnerved but she forced herself not to show it upon her face.  Cloak heard it before the other two.
 
It was Miser.  And -- big surprise! -- he was singing:
 

"You're all alone in the middle of the night,
Something moves in the cold moonlight.
You're tryin' not to scream,
But you got to let it out,
And it make you wanna,
You wanna --
You wanna shout!
There's things out here!
Sneakin' up behind you!
Things out here.
That'll terrify you to the bone,
These things out here.
You know, they're gonna find you.
No matter where you go,
You know.
There's things out here.
Running through the graveyards,
Bumpin' into trees,
Somethin' reaches up
And pulls you to your knees.
Try to get away.
You don't know if you can,
And you're starin' at the
At the ol' Banned man!
There's things out there
Sneakin' up behind you.
Things out here!
Don't go out alone!
These things out here.
You know they're gonna find you.
No matter where you go.
You know . . .
There's things out here.
Things that'll chase you!
Things that'll eat you!!
Things that'll jump out and
Say they're glad to meet you!
And you know the ones
That hate you the most!
Are these things out here
Waitin' in the darkness?
Things out here
With the bright red eyes!
Things out there,
Better watch where you're going.
'Coz you never know when there are
Never know when there are
Know when there are
Thingss out there.
And you know RAF has fallen.
Things out here.
Better run from home!
There's things in here,
You can hear the mummy calling.
You never gonna know when there are
When there are things out here.
Things out here.
Things out there.
Things out there."

 "Predictable as ever, eh, Miser?" Cloak said scathingly.  He hadn't moved at all, even when he could see the Miser atop the MP3 monster.

"Give me Kelly," he exclaimed.  "And I'll make you die fast, Cloak!"

"You ignorance is just . . . painful, at times, Miser," Cloak retorted.

"You heard me! I will be true to my word!"

"You knowledge of the physiology of my kind is clearly lacking," Cloak said.  The Miser took this to mean RAFians.

"I warned you!"

The MP3 monster fired powerful energy bolts at Cloak.