Well, the conversation goes a little different in the prologue to TEC, so you have to combine the two to get the fullest idea of the conversation. In it, she did ask if it was worth it, but the Ellimist said that he could not answer because the war entirely wasn't over. It was after being told that she couldn't get an answer to "Was it worth it?" that she asked "Did I matter?" so to her at least they were two different things with a distinction that mattered to her.
So she could have still just as easily have wondered to herself if it was worth it, she knew she was out of answers from the Ellimist anyways. I would also say that Ellimist making it clear to her that the war was not over makes it unlikely that she would wonder if it wasover (though wondering about the details of final outcomes pf it was possible).
My leanings are still toward what will come to those she left behind, though this thread has also brought the possibility of wondering what sort of afterlife, if any, was in store for her.