What happened to Rachel?

[Visser19]

So when Rachel dies, the Elimist shows her everything, then she is left alone and says "I wondered if-" and she is gone.
What do you think she was wondering about?? I personally think she was wondering if she were going to live on or cease to exist. Is there a possibility that there is a heaven or some form of afterlife in Animorphs?

[Chad32]

There's a long list of things she could be wondering about. Could be she's wondering if they're going to pull it off, or if something's going to go wrong. She may wonder how her friends will do after the war, and if Tobias will be happy without her.

The final battle was about over when she died, but something could have still gone wrong.

[Zeus974]

I'd like to think she said "I wonder If I'll dream". This part always gets me all teared up...

[Alex Oiknine]

So when Rachel dies, the Elimist shows her everything, then she is left alone and says "I wondered if-" and she is gone.
What do you think she was wondering about?? I personally think she was wondering if she were going to live on or cease to exist. Is there a possibility that there is a heaven or some form of afterlife in Animorphs?

I don't think anyone knew what she was about to think. Her own thought hadn't even gotten to a coherent point for her before she died.

Animorphs was very big on the "no afterlife" thing. Once she dies, the Ellimist talks about her personal time-line curling into nonexistence, nothingness. She's dead. Nothing left of her, except for the memories other people have. Time-lines can be changed, altered, recreated or destroyed, but afterlife? Nah. Not in the Animorphs universe.

[Phoenix004]

I never really thought about, but now that I think about it they never really hinted about the possibility of an afterlife in Animorphs. Seems like the kind of thing they could've brought up since they face death on a daily basis.

[Shock]

There's a long list of things she could be wondering about. Could be she's wondering if they're going to pull it off, or if something's going to go wrong. She may wonder how her friends will do after the war, and if Tobias will be happy without her.

The final battle was about over when she died, but something could have still gone wrong.

So when Rachel dies, the Elimist shows her everything, then she is left alone and says "I wondered if-" and she is gone.
What do you think she was wondering about?? I personally think she was wondering if she were going to live on or cease to exist. Is there a possibility that there is a heaven or some form of afterlife in Animorphs?

she wondered if it was worth it.

mainly what i got from it that she knew that she was fixing to die and what most people who actually come back from death say mostly the same thing when they see their life flash before their eyes.

[Kotetsu1442]

I never really thought about, but now that I think about it they never really hinted about the possibility of an afterlife in Animorphs. Seems like the kind of thing they could've brought up since they face death on a daily basis.

Well, I think a lot of personal and philosophical topics were intentionally avoided except for a few specific things. KA and Grant have stated that they don't want to lecture people, tell them what to believe, or act like there is a simple answer. Even when they did discuss 'moral' things, they rarely concluded that most things were 'right' or 'wrong' but just said they weren't sure or felt uncomfortable and avoided them. Still, even though I know they wanted to leave it up to the reader to decide what they think, I wouldn't have found it a problem if the characters did bring up these things and settled on something themselves. If they happened to settle on specific religions or athesism, other beliefs and stances I wouldn't have felt that I was being told what to believe just because a character I like believes it. But I guess it can be more comfortable to be safe about the more controversial things.

As far as what she was just starting to wonder, I know it is intentional that we don't know what it is; but I'd say it was anything but if it was worth it, since she got her question of whether she made a difference answered and accepted it with an "okay." I tended to lean toward thinking the thought would be about those she left behind; how her friends and family would be without her, but I like the "Will I dream" reference and think that wondering about what sort of afterlife she had in store is just as likely.

[Azguard]

well...the way she ordered her thoughts "I wondered if-" making it seems like she's not thinking towards the future.

 btw, what does it mean when the ellimist shows her everything? everything of what?

[JohnBlaze]

well...the way she ordered her thoughts "I wondered if-" making it seems like she's not thinking towards the future.

 btw, what does it mean when the ellimist shows her everything? everything of what?

The Ellimist Chronicles basically begins when he shows up after her death....he tells her of his past, what he's done, his part in the war, his game against Crayak....all of that stuff. He explains it all to her since he felt she should at least know the truth.

Personally I agree with above statements, she probably wondered if it was worth it...the fighting, the killing, the lies...all of that. But the whole thing about her last statement is a last statement that lasts with us all.

But she could also wonder if....the war is actually over? There are plenty Yeerks left all over the universe to start up another invasion, well....idk, but we DID witness the beginning of another war with Jake to the rescue of Ax.

[Azguard]

or maybe its something about tobias?

[JohnBlaze]

or maybe its something about tobias?

Very true, she did only speak to him in her last moment, and she did worry about him mourning her death already....

kinda messed up that she only spoke to Tobias, smh

[A ghost you know]

she wondered if it was worth it.

No.
Rachel got that answer - "Yes. You were good, you were brave, you mattered." I doubt she would have asked the same question twice.
Also, she wasn't really the emotional type. She knew what she was getting into when she accepted the mission, and she calmly and coolly did her job. She definitely had some regret for snipping her life short (or she wouldn't have asked the Ellimist whether she mattered or not), but I don't think that would have been her last thought. I tend to agree with Azure: she wondered if the war was truly over. Rachel always was obsessed with the war.

Just my 2¢.

[Kotetsu1442]

Well, the conversation goes a little different in the prologue to TEC, so you have to combine the two to get the fullest idea of the conversation. In it, she did ask if it was worth it, but the Ellimist said that he could not answer because the war entirely wasn't over. It was after being told that she couldn't get an answer to "Was it worth it?" that she asked "Did I matter?" so to her at least they were two different things with a distinction that mattered to her.

So she could have still just as easily have wondered to herself if it was worth it, she knew she was out of answers from the Ellimist anyways. I would also say that Ellimist making it clear to her that the war was not over makes it unlikely that she would wonder if it wasover (though wondering about the details of final outcomes pf it was possible).

My leanings are still toward what will come to those she left behind, though this thread has also brought the possibility of wondering what sort of afterlife, if any, was in store for her.

[aguito]

I always had the idea that she was wondering about the past, wondering if she could have done something different to change the outcome. What if she had been able to keep herself more in check, what if she hadn't gone after David, what if she had been able to pull it off without dying.
And of course, what if she had been able to really get with Tobias...
But these are all good posts, they give me a lot to think about

[Azguard]

 well. if you were on the last stretch of your life literally after fighting this war...what would be the last thing you wondered?