<WHAAA!!?>
I jolted awake. I was alone in The Big One, covered in blood, and surrounded by dead Hork-Bajir and Taxxons. No one was around, so I demorphed and remorphed quickly, using the cougar's senses to try to learn what had just occurred.
<What in HELL just happened?! One second I'm fighting, the next I'm waking up? Leah? Edward? Weird dude? Helloooo?! WHERE ARE YOU?!>
THEY ARE NOT HERE.
<Hey, now. Wait a minute. Care to tell me what's going on?>
THEY HAVE BEEN CAPTURED.
<WHAT?!>
THEY HAVE BEEN CAPTURED, AND WILL BE ENTIRELY UP TO YOU WHETHER THEY LIVE OR DIE.
<Man, I do NOT have time for this! Where are they, Mister Omniscient?>
THAT IS NOT YOUR CONCERN. RIGHT NOW, YOU MUST MAKE A CHOICE.
<Again with the cryptic-ness! Please just get to the point. What do you want from me?>
WHAT DO I WANT? OH, NO. THIS IS ALL ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT.
<What do you mean?>
WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR LIFE FOR THEM? FOR THE STRANGE GIRL YOU HARDLY KNOW AND THE FORMER CONTROLLER WHO WAS PART OF THE TEAM THAT HELPED TO INFEST YOUR TWIN?
<Of course. What's it to you?>
WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR BROTHER'S LIFE FOR THEM? YOUR MOTHER'S LIFE?
A chill ran down my spine, and I realised what he was saying. Even then, though, I did not understand, and it will haunt me for the rest of my life.
<Maybe, maybe not...again, what's it to you?>
ONLY YOU CAN DECIDE. YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR BROTHER DIE, OR YOUR FRIENDS DO. YOU HAVE ONE MINUTE TO CHOOSE.
<What? This is wrong! How can you ask me to choose something like this?>
FIFTY SECONDS.
<No! I refuse! You can't make me decide THAT?!>
IF YOU DO NOT CHOOSE, THEY ALL DIE. FORTY SECONDS.
<Cruel! This is cruel and vile and inhumane!>
I NEVER CLAIMED TO BE HUMAN. THIRTY SECONDS.
<Take me instead! Leave them all alone!>
THAT WAS NEVER PART OF OUR BARGAIN. TWENTY SECONDS.
<What bargain? I never agreed to this!>
YOU AGREED TO IT THE MOMENT YOU ENTERED THESE CAVES IN THE FORM OF A COUGAR. YOU KNEW THAT SOMETHING WOULD HAPPEN, AND THIS IS IT. EIGHT SECONDS.
<NO!!>
FIVE SECONDS.
<Please, don't do this! Anything, but leave them alone!>
ONE SECOND.
<Take my family. Let Leah and Edward live. Please, just don't harm them. The world needs them.>
IT IS DONE. THEY WILL LIVE.
Suddenly, there was a massive shaking and rumbling, all around me. Earthquake? Cave-in? I didn't care anymore, because I wanted to die, too. I demorphed and curled up into a ball on the floor, shaking, but no tears would come.
Silence. I know now that I am the only being still alive in this cave, and the voice has left me alone to mourn. Hours passed. Maybe even an entire day. I morphed cougar again and prepared to leave.
"Ais!"
I turn around so quickly that I become dizzy.
<Alistair?! You're alive!>
"Yes, but I have some seriously bad news. I got here as fast as I could, to be sure that you didn't get crushed or caved-in, or something. You might wanna' sit down." There were tears in his eyes.
I sat back on my haunches, dreading what he would say next, but not sure what to believe.
"There was an accident at the house. There was an earthquake....Mom was...I couldn't reach her in time, and...a bookcase fell...the hospital said she was pregnant, and...oh, Ais." He fell to his knees beside me and collapsed into sobs.
My brother. The voice had said 'your brother'. How could I not have seen it? Every time before that he meant Alistair, he had said 'your twin'.
This time, he had meant my unborn infant brother.
I have shed the blood of innocents, and the guilt and shame of it will follow me forever.
I told Alistair what had happened. I think that he believed me.
"When it was to save me from my Yeerk...I could understand. I could forgive it all in a heartbeat. But THIS...Ais...I don't know. I don't think...I can be near you right now. Don't come looking for me. If I need to see you, I'll find you. Just...please stay away from me."
He walked away, and he didn't look back.
I don't know if I'll ever see him again.
I wandered through the tunnels, not caring where I ended up. Finally, I met a dead-end, demorphed, and fell asleep again.
I don't know when I'll wake up, or even if I ever will.
I don't think that I care, either way.
I don't know if it was worth it. I want to hope that it was, but I cannot bring myself to care about anything.