CHAPTER 5
‘Someone once said life was for living, life was for happiness, life was love. I cannot help but feel that I have been lied to.
I had been to many places with Cassie, so many that it is hard to remember them all. I had been to the zoo, the mall, the beach…
But we had never taken her truck before.
It was huge. I was over six feet tall, yet I had to look up at it.
It reminded me of the cars parked all around us. Like them, it had wheels and windows, but the shape was different. The black paint seemed shinier as well, and there were no dirt splashes on the underside like the other cars had.
“What do you think, Toby?” Cassie asked. “I bought it just the other day.”
“It is new?”
“Yeah. Expensive, too. Very expensive.” She said, straining the word ‘very’ in an unusual way. She strolled up to it and leaned against the flat, open back. “And I’m not going to use it as a work car…often.”
“Why is it so expensive?” I asked, still perplexed about the human currency.
“It’s practical, and it runs on biofuel. It has 5 seats, air-con, sattelite navigation, a built-in stereo, off-road settings, strong and durable frame, plenty of space, fold back seats, tinted windows, alloy wheels…” She blinked from me to Tal. “Sorry, you won’t have the slightest idea what I’m talking about.” She blushed noticeably.
“Not really, but it sounds very nice.” I complimented.
“I hardly driven it yet. I bought it two days ago and my mother drove it to my house. I drove it here this morning.”
She retrieved a key from a small pouch on her clothing and used it to open the door on the near side of the truck. She climbed in with some effort and sat on a soft leathery seat. “You and Tal will have to come in the other side.” And then she added, “One of you has to sit on the back seats.”
“Will there enough room?” I walked by the door and peeped through to view the inside. It was spacious, but it would be a tight fit for two fully-grown Hork-Bajir.
“If you lowered your heads, then there should be enough space.” She informed us.
I turned and saw Tal, keeping his distance from the truck.
After a short pause, Cassie spoke to him. “Is something wrong Tal?”
“Tal not like car.” He responded instantly.
“Why not? It’s not going to hurt you.”
He thought it over for a moment, remembering his earlier incident. “Not hurt Tal?”
“No, it won’t. Now come on, or you won’t see Captain Giggles.”
His curiosity quickly returned. “Captain… Giggles?”
“Yes. You’ll miss him if you don’t come.”
He cautiously walked up to my side, keeping his eyes on the large truck. His eyes followed mine into the small interior of the truck. His little fear somehow gone with Cassie’s words.
“Too small for Tal and Toby.” He commented.
Cassie rolled her eyes and sat around in her chair. “You’ll fit.” She leant over to the other side and opened the opposite door. “Do you still want to come?”
He stared blankly at his feet, unsure, but he soon made up his mind, “Tal go with Toby and Cassie.”
So I took him by the arm and led him to the other side of the truck. Cassie folded the second seat at the front of the truck forward, and Tal managed to squeeze through the little space and into the back seats.
He was lucky, he had three seats. I had just one.
It was terribly uncomfortable. There was little, if any room for my legs; my tail was being crushed by my backside on the leathery seat, and, apart from that, had no space at all - I had it huddled against my chest; my head was scraping the roof, and I had to keep it held forward, so that my blades would not damage the truck.
That was excluding the unbearable heat.
“Comfortable?” That was Cassie, sounding excited as she played with the controls in her new car.
I shuffled awkwardly. It was enough of an answer.
“Sorry…” Cassie said guiltily. “Maybe it is a little too tight.”
I started panting in the intense heat coming through the magnifying windows. Tal was splayed out over the three back seats, he legs held inward, also feeling the heat.
Cassie put her hand to her chin and seemed deep in thought, examining several controls in between the two seats. I heard her mumbling to herself , apparently ‘not having a clue what to press’.
I took the time to explore. I had to avoid the temptation of pressing some buttons, as they had rather inviting little pictures on them, though I had no idea what they were for. I also spotted a Hork-Bajir Stuffed toy by the front window. I presumed it was from the Yellowstone Gift Shop.
There was something hanging from a small mirror on the roof of the car, and it appeared very similar in shape to an Earth tree. I removed it from the mirror and discovered an overpowering stench coming from the material as I lifted it to my snout. The smell was overwhelming and I sneezed, dropping the fake tree to the floor of the car.
Cassie picked it up, still focusing on the mass of buttons between us. “Toby, please don’t play with anything.”
“Sorry.” I said meekly.
She began pressing several buttons, none of which seemed to please her; and she was getting frustrated.
“I wish they would put less gadgets in these…” She complained.
I faced Tal in the small central mirror. He was busy trying to make room for himself.
At least he had some.
I folded my legs and slumped forward in my seat, resisting the urge to stretch out. Meanwhile, Cassie had found a new batch of buttons the other side of her seat.
“Aha! I think I found it!” She said in relief.
There was suddenly a lot more space around us. The clear glass windows around us began to descend into the metal door of the car, accompanied by a slight buzzing sound.
Each window was now drawn open, also one on the roof of the truck.
“Well…” Cassie shrugged. “At least I know how to open every window.”
I leant my head out of the open window and felt the cool outer breeze against my jaw.
Suddenly, a roar. The truck was vibrating, shaking. I retreated my head back inside and watched as Cassie prepared herself in her seat. She had started the trucks engine, and hundreds of little colour lit up around us.
Noise! Something blaring in my ear! I jerked towards the middle of the truck in shock from the blaring sounds.
“Relax,” Cassie reassured. “It’s just music.” She turned a dial on a small console and the music quietened.
“What is music?” Tal queried from the back.
Cassie hesitated, searching for an appropriate answer. “It’s, um… entertainment.”
“It was very loud,” I commented.
“Sorry. I hope you aren’t too shaken up.” She patted my cramped leg. “I think my mum’s going through her classical music phase again, and she plays it a little too loud.” She laughed and turned another dial. The music changed to a strange, horrible buzzing noise, before it tuned to the sound of a steady, rumbling beat.
“This is also music?” I asked.
“Yes, but this is Snoop Dogg. It’s a different type of music.”
“It does sound different.” I confirmed “But what is ‘Snoop Dogg’?”
“Snoop Dogg is the man that’s singing.” She sat up in her seat and put both hands on the wheel before her. “Could you move your tail? I need to use the gear stick.”
I shifted my stray tail and she pulled the bulbous stick to one side. The truck roared again and rolled from its parking space, Cassie using her wheel to direct the trucks movement.
We bumped our way through the large car park and turned onto a narrow tarmac path. Our speed increased and I was thrust back into my seat as Cassie repeatedly changed gear. She drove faster as we made our way through dense countryside, and whilst speeding down a straight open road, I, rather stupidly, stuck my head out of the window for a better view. The wind slapped me like a rock, and I retreated my head, feeling quite nauseous.
I did not like this at all.
Thankfully, we began to slow down as we approached a huge collection of buildings. I felt brave enough to poke my head out through the window again and take in the strange sights all around.
I saw crowds of humans running around in a hurry, dragging along with them large plastic bags and briefcases; some were wearing colourful, bright clothing and seemingly enjoying themselves; others were smartly-dressed and formal, not quite so fulfilled. There was such a variety. It was amazing to just watch it all fly past.
There were other cars, in front and behind us, going off in many directions, zooming past at high speeds and honking their hideous horns. I blinked up at the beautiful, cloudless blue sky and saw planes… so many planes floating high up above us.
The human world was manic, to say the least.
I pulled my head back in through the window to hear Cassie explaining various landmarks to Tal as we veered around another turn.
“… And that is the Arts centre.” Cassie told him.
“Arts centre is big.” Tal said. “But not as big as Museum.”
“You’re right, it isn’t.” Cassie agreed.
“Tal sees dog!” He chirped in amazement, and attempted to climb out of the window, before I pulled him back by his tail. Cassie, now familiar with some of her buttons, rightly closed Tal’s window before he could jump out in another burst of misplaced enthusiasm. He continued to stare out of the car with his snout pressed against the glass.
The car kept on going for at least another ten minutes, according to the cars clock, and the overly repetitive scenery was getting boring. Cassie and Tal were involved in small conversation, passing the time by.
I found myself playing with a small compartment in front of my seat, opening and closing it, finding what was inside. I found inside a small metal frame holding two round pieces of tinted glass, each accompanied by an earpiece. Humans wore them, but they were obviously not created for Hork-Bajir-use. I placed them neatly back into the compartment, just as one of the blades on my head pulled open a small flap above me.
I opened up this new flap. It was another mirror! This one, though, stared right back at me. I looked into my own deep, red eyes, my dilated black pupils connecting with the up-close reflection and focused.
I smiled at myself. It was not often I saw myself in a mirror, so I always made the best of the opportunity. It was also strangely uplifting.
I scratched off a small patch off dirt that had somehow gathered below my jaw, when I noticed Tal, blinking into my reflection.
His eyes met mine, and we just stared.
I do not know why, but it was as if there was something between us. Something deeper…
“We’re here” Cassie interrupted.
I hesitantly took my gaze from Tal and looked around the new car park we had arrived in. This one was smaller than the one at the rehabilitation centre, and enclosed by several shorter buildings. There were no other cars here, and the tarmac was covered in litter and old metal trash cans.
“Where are we?” I asked.
“Well, we can’t go directly to the parade. They don’t allow cars to go through.” She explained. “And I think it would be better to watch from a secluded area. It’s much safer.”
“Where is parade?” Tal asked, popping his head through the seats between us.
“Just on the other side of this building.” She pointed through the window at the largest of the buildings containing us. “That’s where we’re going. McDonalds.”
“We are going inside that building?” I asked.
“Nope. We’re going on the roof. It’s a nice view from up there.” She opened the car door and hopped down to the ground, slamming the door shut behind her.
I felt the warmth of Tal’s claw rub up my squashed tail. He leant over my seat and grinned sweetly. “Tal watch parade with Toby.”
Before I could reply, the door to my right opened. Cassie reached in and removed the belt wrapped over me.
“You coming? Or are you going to sit in the truck all day?” Cassie said.
I clambered from the truck, helping Tal squeeze out from the back, and we stood in the middle of the small parking area. Out of the truck, I easily caught the scent venting from the ‘McDonalds’, though to be honest, it was not a scent I enjoyed. Tal was finding it just as repulsive as I was.
“What does Tal smell?” He grumbled.
“That’s food,” Cassie explained. “McDonalds food, to be exact.”
I held my snout as I focused on the flat roof of the building. “And we are going up there?”
“Yep.”
I gulped. Maybe out loud.
“I’m going to get a drink. Do you want any water?” Cassie kindly asked.
“Yes, thank you.” I said.
“Thank you.” Tal reverbed.
“Will you both be alright to stay here by the car while I’m gone?”
We both nodded, and Cassie walked off and out of the car park, leaving us there to sit on an awkward bench in a dirty, littered corner.
There was little room on the bench for both of us. Human seating was never intended to suit fully-grown Hork-Bajir; the shape was uncomfortable, and there was never enough room for the wide Hork-Bajir tail. This bench was maybe 4 feet in width and framed with splintered wood and rusty metal frames.
We both hesitated, thinking about how to deal with the situation.
“Toby sit.” Tal offered.
I smiled thankfully at him. “But there is enough room for both of us.”
Growing up on the Home world, my species were never under any local threat. We had no predators, and no prey. There was plenty of food, and little need for excessive shelter. Our people did not have to fight or argue for resources, so we grew to share, and it seems to have become almost instinctual.
He knew that there was enough room for both of us, yet he seemed determined to let me have the entire bench.
I sat myself down on one side, giving my tail enough room behind me. I left him plenty of room.
He shook his head. “Tal sit on ground.”
I smiled at his obvious desire to please me. “You can sit on this bench with me.”
I shuffled over and Tal, looking rather privileged, hesitantly sat himself beside me.
The seat was no more comfortable then that of the seat I had in the truck, but at least I had some headroom this time. I let my neck roll back against the wall and breathed in the strange air. It was not a very nice area surrounding us, in fact, it was horrible. Everywhere you looked, there were piles of broken rusted metal, old abandoned buildings, litter… Humans, despite a gross obssession of appearance and hygiene, were far from a clean species.
A small plastic bag blew onto my foot. I kicked it off. “I do not like this place.”
“No trees.” Tal observed.
“Humans do not grow many trees in their cities,” I said, thinking it would be a nice opportunity to educate him. “They usually keep the trees and cities separate. I do not believe they need the trees here.”
“But when Toby and Tal are hungry… No trees.”
“We will not be here long.” I took note of the sounds behind the McDonalds building. The sound of humans, children and music. “The parade has already started.”
“What is parade?”
“It is…” I stopped mid-sentence, realising that I myself did not know exactly what a parade was. “I don’t not know what it is, but I believe it is a human ritual.”
“Why Cassie take Toby to see parade?”
I raised an eyebrow, confused as to why he asked. “Cassie has taken me to see many human landmarks in the local area. I suppose she wanted me to see this aswell.”
“Where has Toby been?” He leant into the bench casually and folded his knees underneath. He blinked almost flirtatiously. I could not help but laugh to myself.
“Many places. I cannot even remember them all. Cassie and I have travelled together every week for the past two years.”
“What is Toby’s favourite?”
I paused to think. “… The beach… or the zoo… maybe the mall…”
He wanted to seem like he understood me, and looked away, fiddling with the tip of his tail.
“Maybe someday, I shall show you. I am sure Cassie would not mind.”
He smiled at me. “Tal go with Toby and Cassie?”
“Yes. You cannot go on your own; you would get lost.”
“Tal knows.”
“You must always stay with me when we are outside of the park.” I repeated.
He nodded acceptingly. “Tal stay with Toby outside of park. Not get lost.”
“Thank you, Tal.” I gazed at him, into his beautiful red eyes, and, once again, felt that undeniable connection. The sense that there was something different than the usual Hork-Bajir friendliness between us. Like holding magnets, our eyes did not trail or flicker - they were one being…
“Ah! Here you are.”
It was Cassie’s voice. I broke from Tal’s eyes and blinked, wide-eyed up at her.
She walked around the corner, holding a small, brown paper bag, with a distinctive yellow ‘M’ on the front. She strolled up beside the bench and sat on the frame beside my tail. “I could only get bottles. I hope that’s alright.” She said, pulling out two containers of water from her bag.
I took the containers, handing one over to Tal. “Thank you.”
“I’ve been told that the parade has been on for about five minutes now.” She informed us.
I nodded. “I can hear lots of humans, but I did not know if it was from the parade.” I paused. “… What is a parade?”
“You’ll see, once we’re on the roof.”
I held back my head to look vertically upwards at the lip of the wall, where the flat roof began. “How will you get up there?”
“Don’t worry, I’ll find a way. After what I’ve been through, a single-story McDonalds wall isn’t going to be difficult.”
Tal, struggling to open his bottle, decided to offer Cassie the easy route. “Tal carry Cassie up wall.” He stood up tall in front of her, holding his disfigured bottle, and trying his best to look heroic.
Cassie laughed and strode up beside him. “Thank you Tal, but I’m not as light as I look.”
She held out her hand, and Tal handed her the bottle, which she nimbly repaired and opened, then taking a long gulp as instruction to Tal, showing him, and me, how to use it. After swigging a substantial amount, she gave it back to Tal, who thanked her and continued to stare blankly at it.
Once he had figured it out himself, and had sprayed some water into his mouth, he came back to the conversation. “Small climb.” He reached up his arm, showing that, with just a small hop, he could easily grab the ledge. “Cassie hold Tal’s shoulders. Cassie not too heavy.”
Cassie smiled, like he had paid her a big compliment. “Alright then, but take it slowly.”
Tal turned his back to Cassie and faced the blank, grey wall, examining it over with slit black pupils, and he bent his legs, lowering himself closer to the ground. Cassie, being polite, hauled her arms around his shoulders and clamped her hands together around his neck, then doing the same with her feet around his waist. Once she signalled she was on tightly enough, Tal rose on his legs back to normal height.
He twisted his neck and looked close into Cassie’s eyes, smiling. “See? Cassie not heavy.”
Cassie returned him a grin and clung tighter round his neck. “Just remember to be careful, I don’t want to end up in casualty.”
“Tal is careful.” He reassured her, then proceeded to find pockets in the wall with which to climb.
I could have easily leapt onto the roof in one bound, but I climbed alongside Tal, finding small crevices in the relatively flat wall and pulling myself up. It was an easy climb, and took me very little time at all till I reached up and hauled myself over the ledge. I stood straight on the top of the ‘McDonalds’ and took in the rather unpleasant scenery.
It was just a typically dull human roof: Grey gravel flooring, often cracked and covered in dirty puddles that had gathered over years of rain; various shapes and sizes of ground vents spewing the greasy smell of the produced food; and finally, to finish it off, a large, yellow ‘M’ facing outwards on the other side, large enough to sit under and be covered from the baking sun. It was quite a contrast to the bright, beautiful sky.
Tal effortlessly lifted himself over the edge and stood beside me, allowing Cassie to drop down behind him. She looked around the roof with a broad smile and stood between us.
“It’s not the nicest place,” She said, “But it’s quiet and out of the way. I’m sure you wouldn’t want to be in a busy crowd.”
“Yes,” I agreed, “It is better. How did you know to come up here?”
She gave me another human expression, this one telling me I already knew the answer. I did.
“Oh, yes…” I smiled, embarrassed.
Cassie had a strange power, given to her by an andalite. That power was to morph into any creature she touched. An amazing power that helped save this entire planet from the invasion of the yeerks. A power that could help six mere youths hold off an entire army.
I may have been much taller and bulkier than Cassie, but she was far more powerful than me, and Tal, put together. She had so many forms she could morph to: for instance, she would have morphed to a bird to find suitable areas to watch a parade from. She could even morph me if she wanted, though she had agreed to not morph a Hork-Bajir or any other sentient creature again. Her days of fighting were over, and she liked it that way.
Cassie never enjoyed the war. She was always morally directed, always wanting to do the right thing, and I admired this. I suppose everybody did. Nowadays, she devoted her time to helping us with Ronnie, searching out new areas for us to live, funding the clinics and spending the majority of her time in our company.
The noise of the human crowds was more prominent from up here. I wandered over to the giant, curved ‘M’ and looked down through one of the arches. Below, not twenty feet from the building, a long, bustling crowd of noisy humans stretched across the sidewalk and along the road. The crowds seemed to spread for miles down each side. Some people were cheering and laughing, others watched silently, and some waved small, colourful objects in the air above their heads. But this is not what caught my attention.
In the middle of the crowds, on the black tarmac road, a large group of organised, uniformed humans marched in a strangely comical fashion, blaring unusual brass instruments and hitting big rumbling drums. They marched away to the left, creating a loud musical drone that, to be perfectly honest, was completely different to that of ’Snoop Dogg’s’ sound, though no less enjoyable.
Before and behind this group of uniformed musicians were large, misshapen vehicles, moving at a slow speed between the crowds. They carried huge figures on top, resembling fake humans and objects, along with one or two people waving from atop the base of the vehicle.
This line of displays and uniformed patrols continued as far as my weak Hork-Bajir eyes could see. “This is the parade?” I asked.
Cassie leant up beside the large ‘M’. “Yes, this is it. What do you think?”
“I believe I will enjoy this.” I concluded, keeping my eyes on the passing vehicles, which led into another patrol of uniformed humans.
Tal crawled into the next arch along. “Loud.”
“It probably will be.” Cassie surmised. “There’s a lot of music in parades.”
Cassie was perhaps not as excited about the parade as me and Tal were, but she had probably seen them many times before. She moved to sit on a vent a few feet away, maybe to relax, maybe to think…
I could not help but feel Cassie was still unsure about things, whether she really was as happy and care-free as she made out to be.
Maybe she just wanted to sit and watch the parade from there. I could never be sure.
I could not even be sure of my own happiness anymore. Not after what I had been through.
I closed my eyes and tried to lose myself in the noise of the parade. The sounds breezed over me like leaves. I felt my mind ease and slow as I once again opened my eyes to watch the colours march on by.
Sometimes it is better to feel there is nothing on your mind and let yourself go. I know I was only worrying myself.
As I watched the next patrol walk by, I remembered what my mother had said to me: ‘Toby worry too much’. She was right, like she always was about me. She had cared for me all my life, comforted me, fed me when I was little, warmed me, cooed me to sleep on stormy nights, she always knew when something was not quite right, when I was unhappy, when I was scared, and she would always know how to make me feel better again. She knew me completely.
I remembered her, and I remembered how to be happy.
It was not long before I realised I had been lying under the shadow of the ‘M’ for quite some time. The colour of the sky had changed to a darker shade of blue, and the air had gotten cooler. I must have fallen asleep.
I focused on the parade. The next float along was large and pink, and made from little flowers. The women beside strolled along, waving to the appreciative crowd, bathing in the applause and the cheering, enjoying every little moment that passed by. It must have taken a long time to build that float, now they were reaping their rewards.
But how long for? After today, that reward would be gone. All that effort would eventually come to nothing…
Tomorrow would be yet another normal day.
One of the woman looked up, right at me, and she stopped smiling and waving. Her face grew serious and intelligent, though her legs still motored slowly on. She kept direct eye contact, while her lips slowly made out words in an almost silent whisper.
“Tonight.”
I could read those words as they left her mouth, and it echoed loudly within my head. How? I could not read human lips…
The human female stopped suddenly and shook her head. She looked around like she did not know where she was. She seemed to recover her thoughts and walked on like nothing had happened, now reluctantly waving to the oblivious crowd.
I shook my head and tried to make sense of what was going on. The female kept on moving, making way for a rather disorganised group of humans tumbling and falling around behind the floats.
“Are you alright Toby?” Cassie called over from her seat.
Was I? I looked back over my body which I had splayed clumsily over the roof. I was shaking a little bit, though maybe I was just cold. I ran the memory through my head and discarded it as myself being uptight and delusional. Today had not been a good day.
“I believe so.”
“You’ve been lying there for about fifteen minutes looking spaced-out.”
Spaced-out? “What do you mean, Cassie?”
“Never mind. I’m just a little concerned about you at the moment.”
I could have told her there was nothing to worry about, but I figured she had a right to be worried, and a reason. I was visibly edgy, and there was undoubtedly something going on with me.
I turned my head and looked down at the strange disorganised humans, some were falling over, others were throwing pies at each other. Either way, these were obviously not humans I had ever encountered before, at least not in the park.
“Who are those humans?” I asked Cassie, pointing to the clumsy collaboration.
“They’re called clowns, they entertain kids.” She smiled at Tal “Maybe we’ll see Captain Giggles. He’s a clown.”
Tal pointed down to the strange gaggle of humans with an eager claw. “There?”
I stared to where he pointed, at a rather energetic clown in bright red clothing. He was looking around like he had lost someone, though he did not seem at all upset, and then continued to waddle his way along with the others before being struck in the face by a gooey, edible substance, thrown by and angry looking clown.
“That’s Chortling Charlie.” Cassie told him. “Don’t ask me how I know. We get a lot of kids in the clinic.”
“Why are they throwing food at each other?” I asked.
“Not even I know.”
I shrugged - a typical human gesture I had picked up over the years. I am sure there was a reason for such violent and wasteful throwing of food, but not even Cassie, a human, knew why. One thing was for certain though, the younger members of the crowd below us were enjoying it.
“There he is!” Cassie blurted out. “The one with the big blue shoes.”
To be honest, this clown seemed no different to the others, but he was definitely drawing the most of the crowds attention. He was currently throwing food at the other clowns.
It was underwhelming, for he was no more entertaining than the other clowns. I‘m sure even Tal felt the same, though I suppose seeing these ‘clowns’ is an extraordinary experience in itself, and I was still having fun.
The sun had moved slowly across the sky as the parade began to die down, dragging distant shadows across the baked surface and retreating behind large onrushing clouds. I lay, relaxed and warmed in the late afternoon heat and watched over the parade, watching as decorated vehicles wheeled their way through the diminished crowd and the last of the music was fading to the distance. I let my troubles float away and stretched out on my belly under the giant ‘M’, taking in the rays and the strange atmosphere.
Cassie and Tal were several feet away, talking quietly to themselves. I could not hear them clearly.
I took a long gulp from my bottle, after managing to spill most of it earlier. The water was strange, obviously tainted, but it was still drinkable, and during a hot day like today, I was more than happy to have it. The cool, filtered liquid trickled pleasantly down my throat.
I finished off my water and placed the bottle down at my side, taking in a deep relaxing breath as I let my head rest on the small smooth wall over the edge of the building. I let my eyes trail off to watch several small birds hopping along the edge and over the patchy roof, they chirped quietly amongst themselves and jumped slowly closer with their curiosity, only to fly away again to find something else to do.
Cassie laughed quietly to herself, and I looked over to see Tal having a hard time understanding why she found something so amusing. His large eyes took a slight glance at me, before instantly ricocheting off and facing another direction . I ****ed my head curiously at Cassie, who’s laughing had subsided, and she cheerfully shook her head like it was nothing to worry about.
I reverted from the strangely awkward situation and stared aimlessly outwards over the busy road.
The almost constant talking behind me started again, and I felt myself being drawn in and trying to listen, but even with a strong sense of hearing, I could not depict what they were saying.
Then it stopped, and I heard nervous shuffles behind me, and before I knew it, Tal was crawling up beside me under the large ‘M’. He was shaking ever-so-slightly and he seemed unable to look me in the eyes, as mine bore down on him.
He opened up his snout to speak, and I could tell straight off what was happening as a smile came over me, and I watched him struggle with his words
He soon found the courage to say something, “Cassie say ‘Tal -”
“No Tal!” Cassie burst in. “Come back here.” She started laughing again, but this was, as I understood it, more of a sympathetic laugh, as Tal obeyed and crawled away, looking thoroughly embarrassed.
I laughed to myself and turned my head over my shoulder to smile knowingly at Cassie. She knew I had figured her out and shot me an innocent look.
I guess she had known what Tal saw in me, and was kindly trying to give him the courage. I did not see why he needed it, as Hork-Bajir rarely tended to have this problem. Maybe he saw me as being ‘different’.
I shook my head in amused disbelief and turned back to my rooftop view, my moving arm connecting with the empty bottle that had been placed beside me, sending it tumbling over the side and into bushes below.
It disappeared under a large yellow-leaved bush, and I lifted my body up as I looked over the ledge, raising my back legs and resting my upper body on my arms, my neck moving over the ledge. I looked vertically until I could see under the bush…
SLAP!!!
I yelped in surprise as something hit me from behind. I reversed and turned to see what had happened.
Tal?
Cassie, behind him, was in hysterics, unable to hold in the laughter as I rubbed my painful backside where Tal had slapped me.
“I’m so sorry!” Cassie said over her fit of laughter. “I couldn’t help myself.”
A guilty expression showed on Tal, and his eyes stared at me apologetically.
“Tal,” Cassie continued. “I didn’t mean for you to do it so hard.”
From my observations, Cassie had told him to slap me as I was looking over the edge. I had seen human couples do this before, but I was not sure it was working the same way for me. Of course, Cassie was just playing, something she could not do during her time with the Animorphs.
I bared my teeth in a grin and sat painfully on the ledge as Cassie apologised and reassured Tal it was all for fun, and then walked over and sat against the ledge beside me.
“Enjoying yourself?” She asked.
“I am, but I have never seen a parade before. What are they for?”
“It’s usually a celebratory thing. I don’t know what this one was for though, it just appeared.” She looked over the ledge at the dispersing crowds, the parade now far from view.
“Thank you for bringing us here, Cassie.” I said.
She smiled and looked down at her legs. “You’re welcome. I thought it would be nice to bring you along. Somebody to talk to.”
I raised an eyebrow. Had she just said that she wanted somebody to talk to? Was something wrong?
I gazed down at her hand laid resting on her leg, and found the glistening sparkle of a ring on a clutching finger. She had seen Ronnie last night, and Cassie had told me that he was doing a job elsewhere at the moment.
It must have been something else…
Someone else.
“Cassie…” I started, sounding as gentle as I could.
Her eyes fell on me, and I saw all the proof I needed.
“You still miss her.” I said.
She reluctantly stared at me and nodded. “Yes.”
Rachel was Cassie’s best friend before and during the war against the yeerks, and died during the last battle. I was never informed how or why it happened, but it seemed to have a lasting effect on the group.
It was sad, but, unfortunately, that was the reality of war. No decision is right for everyone. We had both learnt that the hard way.
I did not really know what to say. I shuffled closer to her as I saw a single tear stain her shirt. I held out a claw for her and she took it, holding it tight.
“Things are so different without her…” She managed to utter.
“I understand why you are upset,” I said. “We all miss her, but you have to remember all the good things she has done for us. Without her, we may have lost the war. She played an integral part.”
Judging from Cassie’s expression, she seemed to be cheering up, remembering Rachel for all the good reasons. She smiled warmly.
“You’re right.” She conceded.
“You still have us.” I continued. “Your mother, your father, Ronnie, and I am always here for you. We all are.”
“Thank you Toby.” She followed my gaze and lifted her hand to show off the ring. “Noticed the ring, huh?”
“Yes.” I said. “It is beautiful.”
She blushed and looked at her finger lovingly, before giving me a strange look. “Maybe you’ll be next.” I saw a suggestive grin spread over her face, and she glanced over at Tal, who was grooming his toenails with his teeth.
I chuckled at the remark and kept my eyes drawn on him.
“He has a thing for you.” Cassie interrupted.
“A thing?” I asked, puzzled.
“You know, a thing.”
I simply stared at her.
“He… feels for you.” She nodded like she was satisfied with how she worded it, and, after some time, I suddenly realised what she was implying.
I did not answer her, because, to be honest, I had nothing much to say that would not give me away, because I too had the thing…
We sat in a suitably peaceful silence gazing up at the dimming blue Earth sky, the last of the days birds flying back to their nest, and the cold evening weather was starting to set in. The moon was now visible up above us. Full.
The sound of the crowds were quickly dying as I lay my head on the ledge, Cassie behind me, and Tal somewhere nearby, busying himself.
Cassie sat, watching over the ledge, thinking. She was blatantly troubled, and I knew why.
And as I looked up at the clouded sky I only asked myself the same question she would have asked. I had no answers, neither did she.
But she had the experience of knowing the others. She was insightful, and she could tell the emotions of those around her like it was a gift. She saw the fear in Jake’s eyes, and as he left, she knew he may not come back.
Nobody knew exactly what happened to the Andalite vessel and its crew, but I knew deep down inside that they would come across it.
It was hard not to think about it. About what could happen to him. About what this could mean.
It was then I began to think about Tobias. How would he cope? He had not spoken to the other Animorphs for over two years now. He did not trust Jake at all since Rachel died, and only ever talked to us. Even then, he never mentioned anything about the war. He would fly over to the camp and ask us how our day was, what we had done… he never answered those questions himself…
We talked about it only a few days before he left with Jake. He flew to my nest late at night and waited for me there. He must have wanted company, so I sat with him for a few hours. He asked questions about my life, but when I asked him the same questions back to him, he was quick to change the subject.
I asked him why he would not answer. He flew away.
I yawned and opened my eyes, finishing off the nap I did not even know I was having, and saw Cassie resting beside me, her elbows on the ledge and her chin placed on her cupped hands. I stretched myself and scratched behind my neck, sitting up. Today had gone by pretty quickly, and, since it was winter, the night was coming in earlier, orange-shadowed clouds enveloping the empty blue.
My pessimistic thoughts were drained as I stood high on my legs and shook myself down, Cassie noticed I was getting up and turned around facing inwards to the building. “Ready to go Toby?” She asked.
“Yes, I am ready.” I replied, taking one last look at the remains of the crowd, then twisting to see…
Where was Tal?
I darted my eyes around the roof in a sudden bout of panic. Nothing but the horrible grey roof and the vents. No sign of him.
A scream. A distant shout from below the ‘M’. I shot to the edge to see a large gap in the shouting crowd. In the middle of the gap, Tal, walking away from our building.
Cassie had also noticed what was happening. “What is he doing?!”
“I… He…” I struggled to find any reasonable answer. I had told him many times to stay beside us, and he had disobeyed. But why?
Maybe his curiosity had gotten the better of him. Maybe he was hungry.
The startled, noisy humans around him began to close in, eager to see the Hork-Bajir who seemed to appear from nowhere, no longer scared by his sudden appearance, and now more determined to meet him.
But he did not stop to talk, he did not seem intimidated or scared like Hork-Bajir usually are around large groups of humans, In fact, he showed no emotion whatsoever. He just walked through them, with a strange walk I had never encountered before. Had he always walked like that? It was as if he was sleepwalking, but his body stayed almost still, stiff and almost robotic. His tail hanging and dragging behind him.
I had no choice but to catch him. I reached up and pressed my clawed foot against the ledge, powering the muscle and feeling the pressure swirl up through and into my thighs.
I leapt from the ledge, through the ‘M’, falling heavily through the light Earth air. The wind brushed like leaves against my skin, and I saw the cracked ground beneath me swelter and waver as I hurtled downwards. I clutched at the breeze as I fell aimlessly.
Fell.
The concrete. The heat. The shadow. Blood.
And for one brief moment, I saw myself.
Screaming! Screaming! I closed my eyes, and I saw the bright light. I saw the madness. And I saw the disfigured shape. It surrounded me, whispered in my ear.
Told me where I was.
And I was flat on the ground. Heated tarmac.
My breath ran over my chest as I heard the beat of footsteps.
I had to get up!
Moving my arms and legs, I struggled to get onto my feet again. I rubbed my head, disorientated by shock. My ears made out distant noises, fading closer. Talking. Shouting.
Where was Cassie? I tried to focus my eyes back to the roof. She was gone, probably rushing after me.
As my head cleared, I stared out over the concerned humans who had surrounded me. I was just tall enough to be able to peek over the sea of heads and spot three large male blades. Tal!
My left leg jerked forward as I retained my stability. What was happening to me? Why was I having these visions?
No time to answer. I needed to find Tal.
The crowd backed off slightly as I lunged forward, clumsy lunges soon forming to a jog as I followed Tal’s scent and the occasional view of blades over the shorter human heads.
I bellowed out his name, loud enough for him to hear, unintentionally sending several humans into a panic. Those who got in my way were gently pushed aside, or at least as gently as I could.
Tal was in danger, he did not know where he was or what kind of human he would encounter. He had no idea of what kind of machine could come speeding around the next corner. He was stupid to walk away, and yet he must have known it…
The crowd kindly began to separate, not sure about how to react, but Tal was still separated from me by a small group who had no idea what was going on, and were all gathered around, like they were focused on something.
I felt a worn, deep grunt leave my throat, panting and irregular. I almost collapsed, little energy left after my fall. Too little to think, to make sense… all shapes, colours… shades of blue-green… blotches.
The group split, and there…
Facing me, still, lifeless.
Stood straight and tall.
The nightmare. The blue and the green forming blank spheres of eyes. Deep. Dead.
I collapsed forward, too scared to scream.
A hit to the head.
Cold and dizzy, I lost consciousness.
