Memoirs of a RAFian

[guitarhero01234]

Wait, Cloaky's been in chat? Well, I know that I'm never gonna get to bed like ever now.

[Cloak]

It's not like I've never been in chat before. I used to all the time -- before Memoirs, and I was still working on the RAFize Songs thread. The only reason I haven't before last night was because I forgot my password. So I can't sign in as Cloak or CloakedFigure anymore.

And before I ever used the chat, apparently there was someone already on there with my name, impersonating me.

New chapter.
 

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN:
Great Expectations

"This is bad," Saffa said, with a sense of urgency that she reserved for only moments like this. "The clock is really against us right now."

"But which one was the cure?" Demos said. "Both bottles look the same!"

"You mixed up the two?!" Faerie demanded.

"It's not my fault!!" Demos protested, somewhat lamely.

"Augh!" the faerie proclaimed in frustration. "I swear it's like working with sprites!"

She paused as she thought about what she said.

"Never mind, it isn't that annoying," she amended.

"Why did you give them both to Demos to hold anyway?" came a tuckered and tired voice. It was Cloak. Even his body language said quite clearly just how exhausted he was. "Why wasn't Saffa holding one, like she was when I left, and Cerulean holding one?"

None seemed to come up with an answer they thought satisfactory.

"Time is of the essence," Cloak continued. "Though not ideal, we'll have to risk one of them."

"But what if Malice's one isn't what she said it was?" Mithril protested.

Raevyn's beak turned to stone.

"Like I said," Cloak impressed, "it's not ideal. But necessity is trying caution. It's an unfortunate circumstance, to be sure, but we have few options."

"Just use one already!" Saffa shrieked. "Before it's too late to do anything!"

Demos quickly and deftly dumped the contents over Raevyn, who shut her eyes, not daring to believe, not daring to hope. It was already a forgone circumstance in her eyes.

And speaking of eyes . . . they began to turn to stone. . . .

[redtailedsaffa]

Augh!" the faerie proclaimed in frustration. "I swear it's like working with sprites!"

She paused as she thought about what she said.

"Never mind, it isn't that annoying," she amended.

Knowing what some future books are about... nice foreshadowing.

[Cloak]

Just wait.

New chapter.
 

CHAPTER NINETEEN:
. . . And I Live Again!*

"It . . . it . . . it . . ." Saffa stammered.

"Didn't work," Faerie supplied bluntly.

Leatherhead chirped defiantly. He clearly thought that the RAFians were leaping to conclusions.

"Quiet down now, LH," GH said.

But the crocodile was smarter than the average crocodile, anx chirped defiantly again.

"Don't be like that," GH chided.

"He has the right idea," Cloak said, sensing the changes with the stone statue that was once Raevyn. "There is more happening that meets the eye."

"I don't see anything," Faerie said.

"Mithril?" Cloak said, rounding on him. "Do you sense it, too?"

"I . . . I . . . I . . . that's to say, uh," he stammered. He did not like being on the spot like that. "I guess."

Suddenly, Raevyn's eyes snapped open, glowing white as emerald green lines streaked down her stone body. It was as if it was sheer will made energy, almost like the energy utilized by a Green Lantern ring. The lines were really cracks. Cracks in what appeared to be a stone exoskeleton. These cracks quickly spider-webbed outward, across her stone body.

With a piercing shriek, she spread her wings and clenched her talons as she shook and sloughed off her stone "skin", not unlike a gargoyle from a clan. She was back to normal, completely cured.

She dared not believe that she was actually cured. If she could, she probably would be bawling. She was so sure that her condition was inoperable and incurable. She had allowed herself the descent into the cold, careless mire of despreasion and despair. She had allowed her hope to leave her like an exorcised spirit. Now she knew a joy she never thought she'd ever know again. The feeling of her hope and relief spreading through her, down every feather, to the very tip of her talons, it really was indescribable.

"Be sure that stays catalogued," Cloak noted. "Let's go home."


* Reference to that old Disney show, "Gargoyles". I still think it kicked ass. Excuse my language, please.

[redtailedsaffa]

That was dramatic.

[Cloak]

It happens.

New chapter.
 

CHAPTER TWENTY:
Strongman Security and Song Strumming

"Why do we have to do this?" Saffa grumbled.

The RAFians were called on once again for something that could seem trivial on the surface. A strongman competitition. They were not the judges, just security.

"You don't know the vainity of some of these species," Cloak said. "Tetramands, Vaxasaurians, and First Light knows how many more."

"That's all fine and dandy," Saffa said, nettled, "but why do we have to work security? Who knows id we're needed for a mission or something?"

"Don't be that way, Saffa!" Dpsb said, bracingly. He was wearing his superhero regalia that reminded Cloak of Shazam, but with inversed colors. Greens, silvers, and blacks were the color scheme. "It could be fun."

"Then you and I have some very different definitions of fun, Dpsb," Saffa said, tonelessly. "This is just gonna be some boneheaded people insecure about their masculinity posing and strutting like they're hot stuff, or giving themselves hernias or something by trying to lift up weights they have no business lifting or whatever. I hardly call that entertainment."

"Must be a guy thing, then," Dpsb said.

"This isn't a sport, Dpsb. It's essentially the male equivalent of beauty contests," Cloak said, bluntly, as he prepared for what he assumed would be an afternoon of sheer tedium. Then a Vaxasaurian participant picked a fight with a gloating Tetramand. A fight was about to break out.

"Hey! Hey hey hey!" Cloak shouted, rather parentally, "You two knock that off!"

"Maybe this'll be interesting after all," Saffa muttered, with a wicked smile on her face.

***

Meanwhile, GH was in his thread. He was just lounging on his bed, as the room was taken in semi-darkness. There were thing and bits strewn about, but he was a bachelor. Thst kind of thing was to be expected. He had his guitar and he was strumming out a tune that Leatherhead was tapping his tail to, and bobbing his head rhythmically.

GH sang:

"Down in the forum, all the RAFians were makin' toys
For the good little girls and good little boys.
When the boss busted in, nearly scared them half to death.
Had rifle in his hand and cheap whiskey on his breath.
From his head to his boots, he was covered with ammo.
Like a disgruntled RAFtide Rambo.
He smiled as he said, with a twinkle in his eye,
'Merry RAFmas to all --
now, you're all going to DIE!'
The night Richard went crazy.
The night Richard went insane.
Realized he'd been gettin' a raw deal,
Something finally must have snapped in his brain.
Well, the forum is gone now, he decided to bomb it.
Everywhere you'll find pieces of Cloaky and Nothlit.
And he tied up his mods and held the house-elves hostage.
And he ground up poor Parker into RAF saugage!
He got Abby and Azguard with an old German luger.
And he slashed up Cerulean just like Freddie Kruegar!
And he picked up a flamethrower and he barbequed Nohensen,
And he took a big bite and said 'It tastes just like chicken!'
The night Richard went crazy.
The night Richard went nuts.
Now you can hardly walk around RAF,
Without steppin' in RAFian guts.
There's the National Guard and the FBI.
There's a van from they Eyewitness News,
And helicopters circlin' around in the sky.
And the bullets are flying,
The body count's rising,
And everyone's dyin' to known, oh, Richard, why?
My, my, my, my, my, my,
You used to be such a jolly guy!
Yes, Horse, now Richard's doing time,
In a forum prison for his infamous crime.
Hey, little seal, now don't you cry no more tears!
He'll be out with good behavior . . . in 700 more years.
But now SuperNate's in therapy and Gaz is still nervous.
And the RAFians all got jobs at the postal service!
And they say Queen, she's on the phone every night,
With her lawyer, negotiating the movie rights!
They're talkin' bout -- the night Richard went crazy!
The night Richard flipped.
Broke his back for some uppity members.
Sounds to me like he was tired of gettin' gypped.
Whoa, the night Richard went crazy!
The night Richard went insane!
Realized he'd been gettin' a raw deal,
Something finally must have snapped in his brain!
Whoa, something finally must have snapped in his brain
Tell ya, something finally must have snapped . . . in his brain."

Then he continued strumming as he stared off into space. Leatherhead didn't mind, of course, he enjoyed it.

[guitarhero01234]

That is totally something I'd sing while just sitting in my room bored.

Also, I know that's an adaptation of a Weird Al song, but it really reminds me of the Psychostick Christmas EP.

[redtailedsaffa]

Hah, spot on, pretty sure that's exactly how an interaction between me and Dpsb would go down in real life.

[Cloak]

Good, then.

New chapter. Warning: this chapter may be a little dour.
 

BOOK CVII:
WHIRLING DERVISHES
CHAPTER ONE:
Lagoon Party

"Again?" Saffa said.

"The life of a RAFian isn't an easy one," Abby said.

"It's just another security job," Cloak said. "And a Pisccis Volann lagoon party."

"Why are we even doing this?" Saffa said.

"Because they requested we work security," Underseen said. "They've been having trouble from the Knights."

"Just like the Pyronite rave and that strongman competition," Cloak noted. "We were fortunate that they decided not to show up there. They've become little more than terrorists recently."

"I shutter to think shat they may have done at that school," Abby noted.

"They claim that that shooter was unaffiliated to them," Cloak said, as the Pisccis Volann partied about in this sheltered lagoon, having a good old time. "But that could be just them trying to distance themselves Kevin Kyle Kelley."

"'The Triple K Killer'," Saffa acknowledged, as they watched the younger Pisccis Volann muck about, having a good old time. "Though he, fortunately, never killed anyone. But it didn't stop media sensationalism, however."

"Bern Bridges isn't helping matters, either," Cloak said, scanning the lagoon with both his eyes and his Earthsight. "Claiming that we should have somehow intervened, blatantly ignoring that Terenia and Gaz put him down before he could take anyone out. Before any heartache could happen. Though they couldn't stop him from taking his own life, which Bridges tried to turn around and make it their fault. Ugh."

"Anyone know just why he even went through with this plan to shoot up the school?" Abby asked.

"Who knows anymore?" Underseen said. "I wouldn't be surprised if it was things like media that doesn't fact-check. You saw that . . . that 'manifesto' of his?"

"I haven't had the pleasure," Saffa said, speaking the last word sourly.

"No," Abby said.

"Count yourself lucky then," Cloak said.

"Yeah," Underseen agreed. "Some of the most vile, vitriolic stuff ever. Full of fact distortion, outright fabrications, straw men, and . . . ugh. It was the utmost filthy thing I ever seen, and I've fought the Knights."

"With the grandiose missions involving Malice's schemes and supernatural and alien creatures," Saffa spoke thoughtfully, " you always tend to forgot that people like this exist. People who stew in their bigoted hatred until they, like a volcanic eruption, reach that breaking point. Either unable or unwilling to learn the facts, believing false and fabricated information with an almost religious devotion . . . I doubt he was first, or last, to be mislead like this."

"Heavy," Underseen commented.

[redtailedsaffa]

Very subtle.

[Cloak]

*shrugs* Eh.

New chapter.
 

CHAPTER TWO:
Someone's Watching You . . .

Soon, the party ended and the RAFian services no longer was required. So, the four began to trek to the forum. They walked, minds still full of the conversation.

Cloak was reminded heavily of why he despised guns. They were uncivil devices that anyone could use to kill with little to no skill, and that was their only purpose. He had never wielded one, and had no desire do so, even if he didn't have his control over the Six Elements and his own natural energy abilities. Even if he was powerless, he wouldn't wield one.

He did not know just where his distaste for such weaponry came from, but he did possess it. He just found them so crass, with no real subtlety or finesse. The spate of events similar to that of the so-called 'Triple-K Killer' probably played a part. He never understood this fascination humans seemed to have with guns. With things made only to kill . . . why not have pet black mambas slither around lose in your domicile, or have a pet funnel-web spider ride around on your shoulder, or hold a poison dart frog a fingerless gloved hand?

Humans. What an enigma.

Although, Cloak was given pause as he thought about it. Was his kind really any different? True, they may not have a love of guns, as Realm Walkers haven't any real need for them, but they can easily turn a blind eye to tragedy just as easily as the humans can. Look at the Council. Fully willing to ignore break-outs from the Oblivion Gate. Willing to ignore that Malice was on the loose.

And, in their willful and wonton ignorance, they had potentially endangered those who they were charged to not only govern, but protect. But Council corruption was inevitable. It was inevitable for them to eventually covet their seat of power rather than do their jobs. It was one reason that Cloak refused their offer so long ago.

The four continued to walk in silence for a bit, before Cloak stopped. He turned around and looked behind them.

"Cloak, what is it?" Abby said, at once.

Cloak said nothing, but he had sensed something. Something that he had difficulty describing. He knew one thing though. They were being watched. Just by what, though, he could not really say. He just did not like this feeling of many eyes on him. He did not like the spotlight, and actively avoided any thing that would garner fame.

"Cloak?" Underseen prompted.

Cloak continued to stare at some point behind them, scanning it intently. Did that bush move? No . . . no, he must've imagined it. But the nagging tug in the pit of his stomach would not leave him be.

"Cloak!" Saffa yelled, getting his attention. "What's up?"

"N-nothing," Cloak said, but his tone was obviously unsure. Then he spoke in a firmer tone. "It's nothing."

But something had obviously unsettled him, but he chose to ignore it, as they made their way back to the forum.

[Cloak]

New chapter.
 

CHAPTER THREE:
They Followed Them to RAF One Day . . .

The feeling did not abandon Cloak like he had hoped.

It persisted. It lingered. Cloak fought the urge to turn around again, because the same thing would just happen again. He would not be able to see whatever it was that was following them. Had he put his mind to it, he woukd have had all of them fly to the forum. Cloak could ride one of his energy discs, and the other three could shift into flying forms. But even that was no guarantee that they'd lose their pursuers.

He presumed that whoever was following them was not invisible. His Realm Walker eyes would not be so easily deceived. He could see through things like Invisibility Cloaks and magical glamours, as all Realm Walkers can. There's not much, if anything, that Realm Walker eyes cannot see through. The illusions of a Black Mercy is one of them.

Cloak shuddered at that thought. He still remembered his dream world -- it was not something you'd easily forgot. A world where you have everything that you'd ever want . . . every deep desire of one's heart . . . is it any wonder why many victims of the Black Mercy never want the parasite, the predator, removed. Sometimes, the fantasy is better than reality. It may not be real, but it is real to the victim, until the Black Mercy sucks them dry. Even then, the fantasy doesn't last forever. Nothing is forever.

Cloak really wished this tugging feeling his abdomen would go away. He was sensing something, something that could hide in such away that his Earthsight was useless. He was, again, forced to recognize just how dependent on his Earthsight he was. He was effectively halfblind without it. He could Metalsight and Woodsight some, but not to the acute degree of his Earthsight, as he uses that far more often.

But he assuaged any misgivings he had with the knowledge that Code Avalon would more than likely prevent whatever creature or creatures that caused the Realm Walker this disquiet from crossing the forum's threshold. Especially if they were malicious little creatures, like imps or Death Battle haters. He should put these concerns and nagging senses behind him.

However, Cloak was right to worry. They were being watched. Being watched, and pursued, by some of the most irritating creatures imaginable. And Code Avalon didn't stop them from entering. . . .

[Cloak]

This is gonna have to tide you over until Saturday, sorry.

New chapter.
 

CHAPTER FOUR:
They Come

When the quartet walked into the forum, they saw GH doing his best Kurt Cobain impression, which thoroughly nonplussed Cloak, and he was singing.

"What is this song all about?
Can't figure any lyrics out.
How do the words to it go?
I wish you'd tell me, I don't know.
Don't know, don't know, don't know, I don't know
Don't know, don't know, don't know . . .
Now I'm babblin'' and I'm screamin'
And I don't know what I'm singin'.
Crank the volume, ears are bleedin'!
I still don't know what I'm singin'.
I'm so loud and incoherent!
Boy, this oughta bug your parents.
Yeah!
It's unintel-ligible.
I just can't get it through my skull.
It's hard to bargle nawdle zouss
With all these marbles in my mouth!
Don't know, don't know, don't know, I don't know
Don't know, don't know, don't know . . .
Well, I don't sound like Madonna
Here I am now, it's my nirvana.
Sing distinctly? I don't wanna!
Stop waving that paddle.
I must remember this for battle!
Yeah!
And I forgot the next verse.
Oh well, I guess it pays to rehearse.
The lyric sheet's so hard to find . . .
What are the words? Oh, never mind!
Don't know, don't know, don't know, oh no
Don't know, don't know, don't know . . .
Well, I'm yellin' and I'm playin'.
But I don't know what I'm sayin'
What's the message I'm conveyin'?
Can you tell me what I'm singin'?
Do have you got some idea?
Didn't think so -- well, I'll see ya!
Sayonara, sayonara,
Ayonawa, odinawa,
Odinaya, yodinaya,
Yadda, yadda, yaaah, yaaah,
Ayaayaaaah!"

"GH," Saffa said, succinctly, "just how much sleep have you had?"

GH's reply was rather sheepish, "Uh, three."

"Three what, perchance?"

"Uh . . . hours."

"Go. Sleep. Now," Saffa insisted.

Then something barged into the forum, almost as if they were a swarm of locusts. Excelt they were about the size of a mouse. They were almost like multicolored doxies, only with wings more like butterflies or moths in physiology. They had furry humanoid bodies, not unlike doll-sized Grinches. They had faces akin to that of a gremlin, with bushy hair that one could assume was a bad wig or a Trump haircut and big, batlike ears. They had big, expressive, almost-anime eyes. They wore no clothing, but their thick fur was what kept them warm.

"Puking pixies!" Faerie spat. "Not them. Please, lord, not them. Anything but them!"

Cloak found himself immediately disliking them because of their incessant giggles and high-pitched voices grated on him easily. He didn't know why they illicted such a hostile reaction in Faerie, thought.

"What are they?" Abby asked.

Faerie couldn't help but speak with derisive disgust, " Sprites. Absolutely, and without a single doubt, the most annoying species in existence!"

The sprites themselves seemed oblivious to this proclamation, and seemed to live only for fun times. The incessant chattering noise that was their giggled made Cloak want to swat at them.

"Oh, they don't seem so bad," Saffa said.

"Hey! Listen!" one pronounced.

"Hey! Listen!" another agreed.

"Hey! Listen!" another added.

"I changed my mind. Kill them. Kill them with fire," Saffa said, dryly, immediately following this.

[guitarhero01234]

Oh, god, the sprites are Navi. Yeah, I can see why you built up their obnoxious. . . ness. . . . Is that a word?

When the quartet walked into the forum, they saw GH doing his best Kurt Cobain impression, which thoroughly nonplussed Cloak, and he was singing.

. . . So I did copious amounts of heroin and played a Fender Jaguar? I can only endorse one of those activities, and it's the one that doesn't involve injecting opiates intravenously.

Actually, jokes aside, I think I do a pretty decent Kurt Cobain impression, if I say so myself.

[redtailedsaffa]

Oh, god, they're like children on trains. Especially in second class.