Things the Animorphs (and other characters) would never say

[TobiasMasonPark]

     Ax: Humans. Your technology is primitive at best. Ours is far superior.

     Jake: Ya? Well, wasn't good enough to stop the Yeerks, now was it?

[theyoungphoenix]

     Ax: Humans. Your technology is primitive at best. Ours is far superior.

     Jake: Ya? Well, wasn't good enough to stop the Yeerks, now was it?

Oh that's rich... XD

[redtailedsaffa]

Ouch. Now that's a dig.

[theyoungphoenix]

Eh got a spolier... might as well

[spoiler]*Rachel, split in two, is standing with Marco by one, and Tobias on the other shoulder of the other one with Jake eying the four*
Nice Rachel: Oh Marco, you're sooooo hansom. *bats eyes*
Marco: See, Jake!! This is why we should keep her like this. She loves me!!
Jake: *shakes head* You know what? Fine. They can stay like this if you can get Ax to cut off his own tail.
Marco: You're serious? Oh AAAAAAXXXXX!!!!! *runs off to find Ax*
Jake: Tobias, now.*Erick walks in* Erik, do it!
*Erick fixes Rachel, Marco walkes in, looks around*
Marco: I couldn't get him to do it. *sighs* I guess it's  back to the plain old Rachel.
Rachel: *walks up to Marco* Marco, you are never getting me. *punches him and knocks him out*
Jake: Well.... I guess that's settled. Yeerk Pool raid anyone?
*All hands go up*
Jake: let's go.[/spoiler]

[redtailedsaffa]

This is what they would sound like if they were all from my class. Awesome.

[TobiasMasonPark]

     Visser Three is reading a comic book about the Sinister Six from the Spider-Man universe. Suddenly, he gets an idea.

     A few days later.

      Visser: I have summoned you all because we all share one thing in common: we hate the Animorphs. You each have suffered some sort of humiliating defeat at their hands: David, the Animorph traitor, trapped in the body of a rat. The mighty Helmacrons, driven to a civil war due to the Animorphs' manipulation. Queen Soco of the Nartec...is also here. Whatever is left of Sub-visser  51/ Taylor... Would you like anything dear? A drink?

     Taylor: looking like she had just got blown up...because she did, and now she's pretty much a pancake. ggggrrrrrrrrgh.

     Visser: Yes. Chapman, be a dear and go get some water for Taylor. So, let's start this evil meeting with some evil ideas. Who'd like to go first?

     David: We could kidnap one of the Animorphs, let's say...I don't know, Rachel. We kidnap Rachel.

     Visser: I'm liking this so far.

      David: And then I can swarm her with my rat army.

     Visser: rat army...huh... We'll consider that. Good ideas. Keep 'em comin folks.

     Helmacrons: We mighty Helmacrons suggest shrinking the enemy.

     Visser: yes...well, Helmacrons, I appreciate your input, and uh (looks at pamphlet Tom gave him called 'Subordinates and you: how to get your cronies to adore you.') value your suggestion. But we've tried shrinking twice now. It doesn't work.

     Soco: following up on the kidnapping. We could, perhaps, stuff the Animorphs, and put them on display in a museum. Or, perhaps, save the men for the queen of the Nartec to mate with.

     Visser: No, we are not mating with anyone. That's gross.

     Taylor: ggggrrrgh.

     Soco: Taylor seems to like it.

     Visser: Taylor can't say anything else but ggggrrrrrrgh.

     David: I feel like the giant rat army is just not getting the attention it obviously deserves.

     Visser: Because it's stupid! Who would think that that idea could ever work? The Animorphs could just morph to escape the rats! Or crush them as elephants. 

     Helmacrons: we could shrink the elephants, and the rats could eat them.

     Soco: Could we maybe mate with the elephants before shrinking?

     Visser: No! No rats! No mating! No shrink rays. People. These are all dumb ideas! I mean really! I can't imagine the Animorphs falling for any of these plots!

   

 

[NateSean]

Was that from something or did you come up with that from scratch? The whole thing was funny either way, I'm just curous.

[theyoungphoenix]

Haha. That's awesome. Lol.

[TobiasMasonPark]

     I came up with it myself--unless I took it from something subconsciously. I've had the idea for a couple of days, but didn't think of how to word it until today.

[Aluminator (Kit)]

Elfangor: <Just... inside my ship... there's a blue box... bring it to me...>

Jake: "A'ight, homey"

*Jake jogs up the ramp and into the ship. There, sitting in the middle of the floor, is a large blue phone booth. After a moment, Jake locates a morphing cube sitting behind it, which he brings to Elfangor*

Elfangor: <No... I meant the other... you know what? Never mind. We'll make this work.>

Jake: *Grins, proud of himself*

*Elfangor gives the kids the morphing power*

Elfangor: <Hide, now! The Yeerks approach!>

*The kids hide, the Yeerks land, and the Visser steps out*

Visser 3: <I'll grind your bones to make my bread!>

Elfangor: <Can we make it snappy? I've got a date later. I swear, if I don't end up as a ginger this time...>

[theyoungphoenix]

Haha. Lol.

[TobiasMasonPark]

     The Animorphs are getting ready to meet in Cassie's barn. The only ones there so far are Ax (who, unfortunately, doesn't count as an Animorph), Cassie, and Marco

     Marco: Man, I'm tired of waiting for these guys. And I'm still annoyed after our recent adventure with the Helmacrons. The second one.

     Cassie: Well, I think I see one of them coming now.

     Tobias enters, morphed as human

     Tobias: What's up, guys?

     Marco: Dude, since when were you blond?

     Tobias: Since, like, the start of our story. Says right when I'm introduced--dirty blond.

     Marco: But it seems like the last 42 book covers you've had brown hair...I'm not sure I like this change.

     Tobias: Book covers?

     Enter Rachel

     Cassie: What the...Rachel, you look slightly different...But different enough to weird me out...

     Marco: Is your hair brown?

     Rachel: Nope. Why'd you ask?

     Cassie: It looks brown. LOOK: http://www.hiracdelest.com/images/books/us-inside/full_size/54cast.jpg

     Rachel: Yea, that's just the glare from the background sun.

     Cassie: But your eyebrows look brown...and your face looks different!

     Marco: I knew the carpets and drapes didn't match.

     Enter Jake

     Cassie: And what's with Jake? The rest of us look normal except the three of you!

     Jake: I still look the same! Just look: http://animorphsforum.com/ebooks/covers/bk47.jpg

     All the Animorphs...*sigh* and Ax:  KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!

     Jake: Hey, it's not THAT bad.

     Marco: You'd think that after so many years, they'd manage to keep the cover models somewhat consistent!

     Ax: Cheer up, gang. I'm sure that, ten years or so from now, when they try a reboot that will sadly fail, because the Scholastic company sucks balls, they'll get a group that depicts our character more accurately.

     Ten years or so later:

     http://images.wikia.com/animorphs/images/c/cb/Animorph_relaunch_models.jpg

     Tobias: OH COME ON!

     Ax: Forget what I've said. I cannot believe I didn't get a cool cover for the fans to enjoy...

     Jake: All in favour of burning Scholastic inc to the ground say I!

     The Animorphs...and Ax: I!

     


     

[The Spectre]

     The Animorphs are getting ready to meet in Cassie's barn. The only ones there so far are Ax (who, unfortunately, doesn't count as an Animorph), Cassie, and Marco

     Marco: Man, I'm tired of waiting for these guys. And I'm still annoyed after our recent adventure with the Helmacrons. The second one.

     Cassie: Well, I think I see one of them coming now.

     Tobias enters, morphed as human

     Tobias: What's up, guys?

     Marco: Dude, since when were you blond?

     Tobias: Since, like, the start of our story. Says right when I'm introduced--dirty blond.

     Marco: But it seems like the last 42 book covers you've had brown hair...I'm not sure I like this change.

     Tobias: Book covers?

     Enter Rachel

     Cassie: What the...Rachel, you look slightly different...But different enough to weird me out...

     Marco: Is your hair brown?

     Rachel: Nope. Why'd you ask?

     Cassie: It looks brown. LOOK: http://www.hiracdelest.com/images/books/us-inside/full_size/54cast.jpg

     Rachel: Yea, that's just the glare from the background sun.

     Cassie: But your eyebrows look brown...and your face looks different!

     Marco: I knew the carpets and drapes didn't match.

     Enter Jake

     Cassie: And what's with Jake? The rest of us look normal except the three of you!

     Jake: I still look the same! Just look: http://animorphsforum.com/ebooks/covers/bk47.jpg

     All the Animorphs...*sigh* and Ax:  KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!

     Jake: Hey, it's not THAT bad.

     Marco: You'd think that after so many years, they'd manage to keep the cover models somewhat consistent!

     Ax: Cheer up, gang. I'm sure that, ten years or so from now, when they try a reboot that will sadly fail, because the Scholastic company sucks balls, they'll get a group that depicts our character more accurately.

     Ten years or so later:

     http://images.wikia.com/animorphs/images/c/cb/Animorph_relaunch_models.jpg

     Tobias: OH COME ON!

     Ax: Forget what I've said. I cannot believe I didn't get a cool cover for the fans to enjoy...

     Jake: All in favour of burning Scholastic inc to the ground say I!

     The Animorphs...and Ax: I!

     


   

You sir, win the internet!!

[NateSean]

*Jake jogs up the ramp and into the ship. There, sitting in the middle of the floor, is a large blue phone booth.

Funny and welld one, but you do know it's a Police Box and not a phone booth right?

[TobiasMasonPark]

     NOW I GET IT! DOCTOR WHO!

     ugh. I'm dense...