He was content with what he had. More than that, actually. His girlfriend was perfect for him and he more than relished it. But he still loved her. He always would. That would be impossible to change. It was no surprise then, when his pain resurrected from her new boyfriend. The man’s man. Big, burly, military man. The reliable saint that also managed to make her laugh constantly. There was no competing anymore, yet he couldn’t help but feel, “How can I compete with that?” He even had the luxury of knowing the new guy was “bigger” then him. She told him.
He really only meant to give her the gift and leave. That was the plan. But they each had an incredibly advanced ability to piss each other off. That’s why it ended so long ago. They were just supposed to meet for a goodbye. They knew things would be different after the new guy. Of course though, without fail, they were at each other’s throats yet again. Years of agonizing memories brought back and relived in minutes. As the norm was for all their recent encounters, the night ended in exhaustion. Their throats sore from screaming and eyes red from crying. He somberly kissed her forehead goodnight. They were both still fuming, raging, and miserable, but too tired to continue expressing it. It wasn’t as if there were actual words left to say anyway. By this time anything horrible they could have said to each other was already said.
Naturally, she went to see the new guy. Her comfort. He played the part well. He offered to drive her to get some ice cream. He opened the door for her like a true gentleman, they climbed in, and he raced off. The new guy had a speed demon of a car of course. It’s part of the “badass” package. He pushed the speed limit more and more. Something she would have thought reckless of him. But this was the badass we’re talking about now. When he did it, it was exhilarating. Unfortunately, it seems, that didn’t cancel out the recklessness. Both of them saw the oncoming truck, there just wasn’t enough time to do anything about it.
He was there to hear her monitor flat line. It was deafening. Everything else muted. He screamed at the top of his lungs, but he couldn’t hear his own voice. Just the long incessant beep from the monitor. He tried to drown it out by screaming louder. He screamed until the back of his throat felt wet and he choked. He spit out the blood and kept screaming. The nurses were trying to pull him back now. Their lips were moving, but he just kept screaming as he refused to move. The sound of the heart monitor was boring through his head. His vision was hazy now. He was forgetting to breathe. The new figures through the door were probably more personnel. He couldn’t tell. He suddenly slipped on the wet floor. He wasn’t sure if it was the blood or the tears. He slammed face first as the security pinned him down, breaking his nose and sending more blood gushing all over the floor. This made him gasp, but all that entered his lungs was blood. In his coughing fit to breathe the 5 staff members finally started to drag him out. He tried to scream again, but just kept coughing. He tried fighting as they continued to pull him, but his shoes were covered in blood. He just kept slipping. Enraged he grabbed the first man’s head and smashed it into the wall. He fell unconscious instantly. The others tried to subdue him, but he was too fast. In a blur they were all down. He limped back into the room still choking.
No one dared follow until 4 police officers showed up a few minutes later. They found him dead on the floor, one arm over her. His last words written in the pool of blood.
I’m sorry.
