Thanks, Saffa
I thought I should keep it vague at first. I figured it was a little more interesting that way.
New chapter.
Chapter 2 – The Death of Bargo
Project Bargo decided not to stick around after their failed attempt at a show, opting instead to retreat to their “tour bus.” In all reality, their “tour bus” was just the lead guitarist's run-down, barely functioning minivan that they used to transport their gear and themselves.
“Well,” the rhythm guitarist, who was sharing the backseat with the bassist, started, “that went better than expected.”
“Are you kidding me?” the drummer replied with a derisive snort. “We barely got through one song.”
“Yeah, but usually we can't even manage that.”
The drummer smacked his arm down on the center console, turning around to face the guitarist. “Yeah, and I wonder why that is. Oh, wait, maybe it's because you blow your ****ing amp out every single show!”
“Well maybe I wouldn't have to crank my amp if TJ didn't turn up to every show stoned off his ass!”
The bassist who had his attention directed toward a Game Boy Advance this whole time, finally looked up. “Huh?”
“Shut up, TJ, you're not a part of this conversation,” the drummer said.
“Calvin, you're not any better,” the lead guitarist finally chimed in, having already started the car and pulled out of the parking lot. “Is it seriously too much to ask for you to keep a steady beat? Seriously, I could do better.”
“I'd like to see you try.”
The lead guitarist turned his attention away from the road for a minute, locking eyes with Calvin. “One, two, three, four. Oh, hey, I'm smarter than our goddamn drummer!”
“Yeah, look at smart-ass Dimitri over here. You wanna use some of those brains to remember your guitar parts for once?”
TJ, once again, looked up from his game system. “Guys, just chill for a minute.”
“Shut up, TJ,” everyone else in the car said in unison.
“That was weird,” Dimitri said, returning his focus to the road.
“Honestly, I'm not even sure why you're in this band,” the rhythm guitarist said after a brief, tense silence.
“Really, I don't know, either!” Calvin shouted. “You guys said you were a metal band. I thought you meant, like-”
“No, we are NOT like that band!”
“Why the hell not? Logan, name me one post-stoner-sludge-progressive-whatever band that's actually sold records.”
“Mastodon,” the rhythm guitarist said without hesitation.
“They were a fluke and you know it.”
“Baroness.”
“Torche,” Dimitri muttered, still focusing on the road.
“The Melvins,” TJ offered.
“Shut up, TJ!” Calvin yelled “Melvins don't count and you know it. Point is, we're never gonna make money doing this band if we don't change something.”
Suddenly, a the sound of softly-played violins came on the radio, playing an all-too familiar melody. Logan started to practically shake with anger when drums came in and voices started chanting a mantra about freedom.
“Oh, God. Dimitri, change the station. Now.”
“Dude, what do you have against Shinedown!?” Calvin asked, practically jumping into the backseat to choke Logan.
“I don't even hate Shinedown, but this song is god-awful,” Dimitri added, quickly changing the radio station.
“You know what? **** you guys!” Calvin said finally, just as the car pulled into his driveway. “Good luck finding a new drummer, because I'm done!” He quickly left the car, slamming the door behind him. The three remaining in the car sat in stunned silence for a few moments.
“. . . Holy ****,” the bassist said, still staring at his Game Boy.
“Yeah, that was kind of an overreaction,” Logan said, massaging his temples with his thumb and middle finger.
“No, I mean, holy ****, I found a shiny Pidgey!”
“NOBODY CARES, TJ!” Logan and Dimitri yelled in unison.
“Fine. I guess I'm out of the band, too.” TJ exited the car as well, albeit much less violently than Calvin did before him. “Good luck, I guess.”
Dimitri, frustrated, finally pulled out of Calvin's driveway. “He knows he lives like a half hour's drive away, right?” Logan said as they pulled onto the road.
“He'll figure it out.”
Yes, I do genuinely hate Shinedown that much, and that's pretty much my reaction whenever "Cut the Cord" comes on the radio.