K.A. Applegate Hates Blondes!

[TobiasMasonPark]

     Think about it people! In the Animorphs series, any major character--or secondary character for that matter-- with blonde hair ends up in a bad situation. To prove my theory, I'll write down how the lives of the brunnettes turned out:

Jake: Depicted with light brown hair on the covers. Somewhat emotionally scarred, but well in the physcial sense. Rich, famous, etc.
Marco: Depicted with black hair on the covers. Very wealthy, famous, and something of a bachelor.
Cassie: Depicted with black hair on the covers. Written a few books. Steady job. Steady relationship with someone who isn't Jake (Ronnie).
Ax: Depicted as...well, I guess he doesn't count...but he becomes a Prince, if that counts for anything.

Alright, now for the blondes; those blondes that I remember from the books that I haven't read in years!
Rachel: Dead.
Tobias: Nothlit, orphaned--mother doesn't remember him, adding insult to injury-- and lost the only person who loved him.
David: Nothlit--trapped as a flipping rat!-- whereabouts unknown.
Taylor: House fire leaves her physically...unplea sant. Gas-leak leaves her fate unknown.
Loren: Blind with no memory of her son or husand.

[Alic]

i doubt she hates blondes... ;p

[songofsuzanna]

It's probably one those weird coincidences.  I bet Applegate probably didn't even know she was sticking it to every blonde in her books. 

Isn't she a brunette, btw?

[Aldrea Hammee]

I don't know.

Eva's a brunette (she has black hair), and she was a slave for about 6 years. Then she probably lost her son when he went off to look for the Blade Ship.

Speaking of Marco, yeah....he probably died. Same for Jake.

And can you really say Jake's life turned out well? He lost Cassie, had to live with the knowledge he sent his cousin to kill his brother, and was terribly depressed for years because of the war. The only thing that got him out of that depression was going back to war. And unlike Marco, being rich and famous didn't make him happy. He didn't care. 

Allison Kim had black hair, and Edriss killed her.

On the other hand, Melissa was blonde and had her house flattened. I conclude that KA didn't hate blondes. She hated everybody.

[LisaCharly]

Not to mention that in other KA series, some of the blondes end up doing alright.

Remnants:
[spoiler]Violet is blonde, right? She ends up married to the hot new guy with children. D-Caf, with dark hair, ends up losing his only family and is the series punching bag. He doesn't even end up in the epilogue. And Kubrick had dark hair before he turned into a freakish science experiment and then got killed off-page by a porcupine. Still bitter about that. Isn't Jobs blonde too, and he turns out more than alright with Echo and his kids.[/spoiler]

Everworld:
[spoiler]Christopher is blonde and ends up having his true love marry someone else, but other than that he's no worse off than anyone else in the series. At the very least he isn't saddled with horrible emotional issues or a psychological disorder like brunettes David and Jalil. That said, Senna (blonde) does end up dead, but Loki, also blonde, is fine despite some of the other gods biting the bullet.[/spoiler]

Gone:
[spoiler]Well, everyone's screwed in Gone, but IIRC the only major characters who fared really horribly (Mary, Duck, Brittney) had dark hair or hair of unspecified color. Some of the blondes (Sam, Astrid, Computer Jack) aren't faring too poorly.[/spoiler]

[Stephquiem]

Gone isn't a KA series.

But this all leads me to the following theory: It's not that KA hates blondes. It's that Michael hates people with hair.

He is completely and utterly bald. *shrug*

[LisaCharly]

Hah, good point! I mentally lump it with the others because it's got Michael Grant, but you're right. That's what I get for posting at 2am.

[Stephquiem]

Heh. 'sokay. I've posted weirder things at 2am.

[QIfry]

I actually like the idea of not so many blondes. You've been them all over the dang it, magazines, etc... It's just a nice change. I mean, look of all of the blondes in the Marvel and DC universes.... YIKE!

[TobiasMasonPark]

     And, in addition to her seemingly odd hatred for blondes, she has described every single human character (major or secondary) as "cute", or attractive. Take a look at this quote taken from Scholastic:

     "Jake was there. He's my cousin. He's cute. King of big. I mean, if we weren't cousins... And Marco was there, too. He's cute, too, in a different way. I would probably go out with him if he asked me. And Tobias, of course. He was up in the rafters fluffing up his wings. He's cute when he's human...."

     Sure, this could be taken as the opinion of one character--something of a 'boy-crazy' ditz-- but there you have it. There is not, to my recollection, one single unattractive character in this series. Am I to assume that EVERYONE in the Aniverse is gorgeous? What--is Tobias' hawk form considered to be 'studly' amongst the lady hawks? Am I to believe that unattractive people can't be super heroes?

     

[LisaCharly]

     And, in addition to her seemingly odd hatred for blondes, she has described every single human character (major or secondary) as "cute", or attractive.

I think the blonde hate has been debunked. Also, a lot of the secondary human characters don't get described as cute or attractive (most of the parents, some of the Auxs, I believe David, and most certainly the Governor, who is the series' biggest Dark Horse BAMF in my opinion and is described as really homely).

[TobiasMasonPark]

     Can't we all just agree that k.A is a closet Anti-Blondite?

[Stephquiem]

No? Because the evidence doesn't suggest that at all.

[LisaCharly]

Can't we all just agree that k.A is a closet Anti-Blondite?

Given that there are reasons suggesting otherwise, and that this conclusion takes a myopic, Animorphs-centric view of her work...nope!