[spoiler=Chapter 22]
KeuralPlunka plunka plunka. As Al’s paddle-ball count topped four hundred and seven thousand, he grinned. Getting close to his record.
There was surprisingly little to do in the little cramped rear ****pit of Keural’s ship. The kid wouldn’t even let him fly. Didn’t trust him as a pilot, or didn’t trust him piloting his precious ship, or something goofy like that, so Al was stuck paddling. He sat up slightly in his chair so that he could see Keural’s ****pit, below and in front of him, and stuck out his copper tongue.
Oh yeah. That’d teach him.
“How close are you to your record?” came Keural’s sleepy voice from the intercom.
Al laughed. He hadn’t realized Keural was awake. “Getting there. Shouldn’t be long now.”
“Think you’ll break it before we land?” asked Keural, with the sound of smacking lips, followed by a heavy yawn.
“Probably not,” admitted Al.
“That’s a shame,” said Keural, and Al couldn’t tell if he was being genuine or sarcastic.
Al opened his mouth to respond, but the words caught in his throat as he realized that Keural hadn’t said anything about the paddle ball bothering him for a while now, which was a pretty drastic change from earlier in their journey. Maybe Keural was growing up. Or maybe he was just sick of fighting.
“Shut,” Keural had said, much earlier in their journey, “up.”
Al had cut his operatic mashup of pop songs short in surprise. “Who are you talking to?”
“The magical space fairies,” Keural replied sarcastically. “I’m talking to you, you self-centered juvenile jackass! There’s nobody else on this damn ship!”
“Hey, you can choose not to receive my speech constantly,” Al reminded him.
“No I can’t,” said Keural. “The circuit’s stuck in the open position.”
“Sure it is,” Al replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes. “Admit it, you have an appreciation for popera.”
“Nobody,” growled Keural, “has an appreciation for popera.”
“Unless they’re cultured,” Al said, smirking.
“Would you stop with the paddle ball, too? You’re driving me nuts,” said Keural.
“But I just passed three hundred and twenty seven thousand paddles in a row!” objected Al. “I might break my record today!”
“I’ll break more than that if you don’t stop it,” muttered Keural
To which Al replied, “Man, eating nothing but space rations makes you crabby, doesn’t it?”
“Wish I’d never told you how much I hate space rations,” said Keural.
But tell him he had, although not in so many words.
“Have I ever told you how much I hate space rations?” had been Keural’s question, much earlier in their journey.
“Thrice now,” replied Al, “but we don’t have a whole lot else to discuss anymore, it seems, so why don’t you tell me again how much you hate space rations?”
“Man, I hate space rations so much,” replied Keural. “You’re lucky you’re a robot, so you don’t have to eat these stupid things.”
“Yeah,” replied Al, wistfully counting past two hundred and thirty thousand on his paddle-ball game, “but I can’t taste any of the things you squishy organics eat, and sometimes you make it look so nice.”
“If you ask me, what you call
nice is overrated,” said Keural.
“Can’t blame a guy for wondering,” said Al philosophically.
“Wait,” interjected Keural, “so you can simulate drunkenness, but not a sense of taste?”
“That’s not
that weird,” said Al defensively
“Aaagggh!” Keural responded thoughtfully.
“Cramp?” guessed Al.
Keural affirmed with “Aaagggh!”
“Did you eat your space ration earlier?” Al inquired. He suspected that Keural had simply let it sit in the microwave.
“No!” replied Keural, “It’s still just sitting in the microwave!”
“What about what you said?” wondered Al.
“What was it I said?” wondered Keural.
“I’m going to eat a space ration now,” was what Keural had said, much earlier in their journey.
“What about how much you hate them?” asked Al.
“I hate them so much!” complained Keural.
“Then why don’t you just wait until we land, and eat something better?” wondered Al.
“I’ll probably have starved to death by then!” snapped Keural.
“Probably not
all the way to death,” guessed Al with a grin.
“And I’ll be cramped to no end,” complained Keural. “We squishy organics were not meant to sit in one chair for this long.”
“And the space ration matters because…?” wondered Al.
“They’re designed to prevent muscle cramps and clotting and all that good stuff that comes from being squishy,” replied Keural bitterly.
“Huh!” exclaimed Al, counting past a hundred and fifty one thousand in his game of paddle-ball. “Learn something new every day.”
“Do you?” wondered Keural.
“What?”
“Do you learn something new every day?” asked Keural.
“I’ve never actually kept count,” admitted Al.
“How many days old are you?” Keural asked.
“A lot,” replied Al.
Keural snickered, “And how many things do you know?”
“A lot,” replied Al.
“That’s one thing per day,” responded Keural.
“Oh yeah, I guess it is. By the math,” Al laughed.
“I wish I could be a robot,” said Keural.
“Yeah, you said that earlier,” said Al dryly.
“Oh, yeah,” said Keural, remembering.
“I wish I could be a robot,” was what Keural had said, much earlier in their journey.
“Why’s that?” Al asked.
“Because then I wouldn’t have to eat space rations,” Keural said.
“Why do you hate space rations so much?” wondered Al.
“Because they’re disgusting!” Keural shouted.
“They can’t be that bad,” said Al gently.
“I hate them so much! I wish I was a robot so I’d never have to eat them again!” Keural replied.
“If you ask me, what you call
being a robot is overrated,” Al said.
“Can’t blame a guy for wondering,” shot back Keural.
“I’m dispelling that wonder now,” said Al.
“At least you don’t have to eat space rations!”
“Yeah,” said Al philosophically, “but that’s balanced out by my inability to eat space rations.”
Keural sighed, “Would you stop with the paddle ball? You’re driving me nuts!”
“But I just passed sixty thousand paddles in a row!” Al objected. “I might break my record today!”
“See, that’s another thing. You can paddle sixty thousand times, no sweat. I’ll get a cramp just from sitting in this chair for too long.”
“Because you’re squishy!” Al said.
Keural sighed, “Yeah, because I’m squishy.”
Al grinned. It seemed they were starting to get along. It was nice, especially after what had been said much earlier in their journey.
“You’re an ****!” was what Keural had said much earlier in their journey.
“It’s not really my term. A lot of artificial beings call organics ‘squishies,’” Al replied.
“Oh. I thought you were referring to… something else,” Keural replied.
Al laughed, “Man, our fight from earlier is over. Let’s not keep it going.”
“Yeah… sorry…” Keural replied, sounding sheepish.
“You hungry? Some people get crabby when they’re hungry,” said Al.
“It’s eating nothing but space rations that makes me crabby,” said Keural bitterly.
“What’s wrong with space rations?” asked Al, shuffling through his duffle bag of random stuff. Hey! His paddle ball game! He picked it up and started paddling.
“I hate them,” pouted Keural. “Also, what is that noise?”
“Paddle ball,” replied Al, matter-of-factly. “I think I might break my record today.”
“Doubt it,” responded Keural offhandedly.
Plunka. “Ha!” Al shouted, much later in their journey, cutting short their popera duet. “Five hundred thousand and one! Told you I’d break my record today!”
“What?” asked Keural, stopping his own singing a few moments after Al.
“You told me you doubted I’d break my record today, but I just did it!” said Al.
“I did?” said Keural, sounding confused.
“What’s wrong?” wondered Al.
“I just realized, you stopped paddling. I’ve heard nothing but that paddling over the intercom for an eternity now. It’s like it’s ingrained in my brain.”
“Yeah, sorry, I’d have stopped days ago, but you said you doubted I’d break my record today, so I had to.”
“I did?”
“Yep.”
“But you didn’t break your record on the day you started. It’s been days and days and days and days...”
“Days mean nothing in space,” stated Al assertively.
“Hey, wait,” said Keural. “You just broke your record by one? Why wouldn’t you keep going?”
“We’re about to land on planet boring,” said Al, “and I figure I’ll want to look around. Besides, it’s a rule of mine. I never break my record by more than one. Makes it easier to break the next time. I hold the record for most records broken ever.”
“You,” said Keural, “are nuts.”
“Thank you,” replied Al with a grin.
Sreefeech! was the ship’s response, as the landing struts settled into the dirt of the alien world.
“Finally,” said Keural. “It’ll be nice to get out and walk around a bit. Getting a little cramped here.”
“Because you’re squishy,” Al reminded him.
“Shut up,” said Keural, but Al could hear that he was smiling. So maybe the kid could learn to loosen up a bit after all.
Al watched as Keural’s ****pit opened and he climbed out, down the ship’s ladder to the ground. The air was a little high in Argon, but breathable, so Keural was unmasked. As he stepped off the ship, his black boots sunk a ways into the greenish-brown mud.
“Ugh, muggy,” said Keural. “You coming? You said you wanted to look around”
“Nah,” said Al. “I take that back. I think I can see just fine from here.” And indeed he could. He could see the greenish-brown ocean off to their left, and the greenish-brown mud of the beach leading up to the greenish-brown, sparse vegetation to their right. He could see the greenish-brown sunlight filtering through the greenish-brown clouds that hung in the greenish-brown sky, thick with greenish-brown haze.
As Keural wandered off, the two continued a discussion they’d been having earlier involving Keural’s childhood friends, and whether he’d ever find them again. The talk seemed to be going fine until Al made an off-color joke. Keural didn’t respond.
“Get it?” Al said, grinning. “Because Humans don’t have tails? And…” he paused. “Yeah, I guess that was pretty tasteless.”
There was no response.
“Aw come on, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that,” said Al.
There was no response.
“What? Did you find something interesting? More interesting than talking to me?” asked Al.
There was no response.
“Alright, alright, I’ll come look. Where are you?” wondered Al.
There was no response.
Al sat up, feeling worried now, and checked the ship’s sensors. Keural had been displayed on them moments before, in spite of his distance from the ship. Now, there was nothing showing up.
Keural was gone.[/spoiler]