Memoirs of a RAFian

[Cloak]

Originally, this book was intended to be very serious and taken that way. But then, when it came time to actually write it, it came off as more comical than intended. And, thinking about it, it's kinda needed to be a bit jokey, considering just how the subject matter of the previous two books were, and considering that there's probabaly not gonna be a lot of them in the future.

[theyoungphoenix]

yeah, i think we needed it

[Cloak]

Ah, good.

New chapter.

CHAPTER TWELVE:
Quips

"What, showing off or something, Cloak?" Esty said, obviously satisfied with the assessment. And, granted, she was more powerful than Cloaky himself, but still he seethed from the perceived insult. Cloak was sure that it was deliberate.

"Deploy Seekers -- Model Epsilon, Series 88823."

"First Light! How many of these things does he even have?!" Cloak blurted.

"Seekers? Wasn't that a Malice thing?" Estelore inquired.

"Where'd you think she got them from?" Cloak answered, a bit surly.

"Posit: we are still awaiting payment from that account," the Weapon Master put in, tonelessly. "The interest is at eight-point-nine-eight-three-six percent."

"Why am I not surprised?" Cloak said, as he began to slice up the Seekers as Estelore leisurely began to blast them. After all, this kind of thing was just a Sunday night for RAFians. "At Malice's nonpayment, of course, not the interest rate."

"Um, why is going over the tech specs?" Esty asked, distracted. "Is he tech support or something?"

"He making a commercial," Cloak said, dully, noticing that Esty was taking out more robots than he was. Yes, he was aware that it was being petty and childish, but he couldn't help himself.

"Error: subject is subjecting second subject to false accusations," the Inspector said.

"It's a camera, and you know it!"

"Correction: it is a carpet cleaner."

Estelore suppressed a giggle poorly, which irritated the Realm Walker.

"Oh, shut the Veil up, you!!" Cloak snarled to the Weapon Master. "It's not even funny anymore!!"

"Query: does subject even know function of a carpet cleaner?"

"You're doing this on purpose," Cloak accused the Weapon Master, unintentionally sounding like the Nostalgia Critic.

"Not to put a damper on this amusing exchange," Esty said, with a bright smile, "I broke all your toys, big guy."

Cloak glowered at being upstaged again. Realm Walkers were a prideful lot.

[theyoungphoenix]

poor cloak XD

[Cloak]

Shows a different side of Cloak, no?

New chapter.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN:
In Or Outtie

"Deploy Seekers -- Model Zeta, Series 77653."

"He has a lot of these things, doesn't he?" Estelore asked.

"He's basically advertising them," Cloak said, "so he probably has even more than this."

"How can he keep them in that crate though?"

"Probably tech akin to TARDIS tech," Cloak said, dully.

"Show be easy enough," Estelore said, brightly.

Cloak was very tempted to tell her to shut up, but what possible good would that do? The others were still severely trussed up and still inside the crate thing. Many of which were probably unconscious. How were they to save any of them when they were fighting wave after wave of Techadon Seeker robots? Especially when Esty was hogging all the kills. . . .

Wait a minute!

"Esty, they're all yours," Cloak said. "I have some more important business to attend to."

"That's fine," she said, "this shouldn't take me too long to deal with."

Cloak could have done without the last remark, but he let it slide, for he had more important matters to contend with. He would start with Dino. He ran over to her position, and removed her bindings -- with unexpected ease, as well. He helped her upright, though she still was dazed a bit, but she was still conscious.

"Deploy Seekers -- Model Eta, Series 80715."

Ignoring that, Cloak thought bitterly, because it meant that Estelore had already beaten the Zeta models in half the time he would. Cloak knew he was prone to jealousy, so it was great effort for him to not feel as such.

The dragons were next. They were all dazed, but just as conscious as Dino was. But they were now free. He left them to regain their senses, as he continued to undo what the Weapon Master was doing before his confrontation with him. Because, while powerful, Estelore was not all-powerful. She would and could tire, just as anyone else could and would.

But if she bought Cloak enough time . . . time in which he should be proactive in freeing the other RAFians and not sulking . . .

[theyoungphoenix]

there you go cloaky! and it really does show another side of him, which is great.

[Shenmue654]

It's interesting to me that good old Estelore (Fictional Estelore) is still a Memoirs staple years after leaving RAF for good. But hey, Isto does have that effect on people. ; ) *Snuggly feeling*

[Cloak]

It's part of my "No RAFian Left Behind" Program, Shenmue.

New chapter.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN:
Complete Non-Sense

"Deploy Seekers-- Model Theta, Series 82726."

Keep it together, Cloak, Cloak barrated himself, you have a purpose, a need, a service, to be fulfilled.

Then music started up, and Cloak knew this would be the perfect distraction. He went to work, as Esty sang, as she bashed the Model Thetas:

"The sense of sight
Is what guides you right
When you go out on walks."

There. Oceanspray was freed.

"The sense of smell
Is the way you tell
That you need to change your socks!"

And now tobiasthehawk and Quaf were freed.

"The sense of touch
Is what hurts so much
When you bang your toe on the bed."

Dameg. Freed.

"The sense of hearing
Is something good,
Because if an angel falls in wood,
Would there be a sound?
You bet there would!!
If he landed on top of your head,
Your head!
If an angel landed on top of your head!"

AgentAK, Alic, AndaliteSeer, AndaliteWarrior100, and Ax-man -- all freed.

"The sense of taste affects your waist."

Loligo, Natureboy3, Pez001, and TheLivingCouch freed.

"Which makes five senses in all."

Crimea River, Estrid, Hawkgirl, Janet, Magdaleen, ans NecrosisDemon. Saved and free.

"There's a sixth sense, too, but it's hard to explain.
It's a psychic connection inside of your brain
So you can understand people like Shirley MacLaine . . ."

Esplin and Gankhruun saved.

"Who wear crystals they bought in the mall! The mall!
Who wear crystals they bought in the mall!"

FuBar, Bladeh, and Kern were freed and saved, though still unconscious.

"There are scents you can smell like cologne from Chanel
Or the scents of expensive perfume."

Blaze and Hunter were now safe and free.

"There are scents of flowers we hope overpowers
The kitty box next to your room. Pyew!"

More were freed than captive now. . . .

"There's a sense of pride you have deep down inside . . .
When you practice a sense of fair play.
There are dollars and cents that you pay at a toll . . .
Or the census man who is taking a poll . . .
And a sense of confusion we're out of control . . .
And they really should take us away! Away!
They really should take us away!
There's a sense of humor, a sense of doom, or
A sense of awe, sense of timing . . .
The sense of a word, a sense of absurd
Like trying to do all this rhyming!
There's incense.
And Horse sense.
And common sense, it's true.
Sense of wonder, sense of beauty.
Sense of honor, sense of duty.
A sense of doubt, a sense of danger.
A sense of fear when you meet a stranger.
A sense of style, a sense of worth.
A sense of direction for knowing the earth.
A sense of dread as I'm singing this song
That it's starting to turn out completely all wrong
And it's time that I end it because it's too loooooooooooonnnnnn ggggg . . ."

Estelore took a deep breath before concluding her song:

"'Cause it just doesn't make any sense!
No sense!
This song doesn't make any sense!"

And, with that, only four RAFians remained unsaved.

Gaz. Cerulean. Horse. GH.

They were the only ones left, and they were on the ship proper.


Source song: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yaHTeefeLYw

[theyoungphoenix]

uh oh

[Cloak]

Probably not what you think, Abby.

New chapter.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN:
Clean Up Your Act

Cloak still required Esty for a distraction, and the Inspector did not seem to notice his captive RAFians, all but the four within his strangely labyrinthine, crate-like ship, were freed and safe. He was completely focused upon the sentient star.

"It's . . . show time."

"Deploy Seekers -- Model Iota, Series 97203." the Inspector said, still nonplussed at the last song.

"Look what you done,
You've been a very bad man, son!
Packing seven felonies of evil into every one!
Greed and vice --
A pack of cards and a pair of dice
Ain't goin' get you into paradise!"

The Inspector was completely distracted and did not notice the eight-foot-tall anthropomorphic tiger in cloak sneak into his ship. Even if he had, he probably would not have noticed anyway, due to Cloak's habit of stick to the shadows.

Esty chortled, as she paused briefly in between smashing the robots with nonchalant ease, "Get it?  'Pair of dice', 'paradise'. Huh?"

"You're in a sad, sad, so sad
Really bad, makes me mad state,
Young friend.  Is this the end?
Oooooh-ooh!"

Cloak easily crossed the threshold, he didn't encounter any trap mechanisms yet, but he fully expected some.

"I think it's time!
High time!
To clean up your act!"

Right turn ahead. Dead end. Cloak backtracked.

"If you don't, you're cursed,
And that's a fact!
Take a look and you'll see
The kind of being you were born to be!"

Cloak suddenly realized, with much embarrassment and chagrin, that he should be using Metalsight to find the others . . . only to realize that he couldn't "see" them on the ship. At all.

"Hey, hey, hey!
Clean up your act!"

That didn't mean that they weren't on the ship, it could just mean that they are being held by something not touching metal or earth. Hope was not yet lost!

"You can be a leader, you can't be a saint,
You could a million things that obviously you ain't!
You're slipping and sliding, and soon you're gonna fall.
Outta work and outta luck, the writing's on the wall.
Now's the time!
High time!
To clean up your act!"

A "T" shaped corridor. The right was a deadend, so Cloak went left.

"Make amends for all those innocents your products whacked."

Left, left, left, right, left.

"Listen close to what I say,
Every dog has his judgement day!"

Cloak was thinking that these corridors were deliberately labyrinthine as a security feature, as even if one had a map or schematic of the ship, it would still be confusing. It was almost as if Daedalus himself designed it.

"Hey, hey, hey!
Clean up your act!"

Ugh. Cloak was getting fed up with all of these . . .

Wait. Wait just a minute here. Why did he have to use the corridors? The walls were made of metal, and he was no friend to the Weapon Masters of Techadon. What did he care about the look of the ship? What did he care about keeping it in one piece?

"When the music's over, when the show's through
You'll still have time to spend with you-know-who!
You're writing your own ticket, the script's in your hands, with all your flaws!
Time to shine.
Be divine!"

Cloak was tearing through wall after wall looking for the four missing RAFians, it was making.more noise than was prudent, but was finding himself not really caring he rather this than the frustration he was experiencing beforehand.

"Work for that applause!
I think it's time.
High time!
To clean up your act!"

There they were. Well, that was easy enough.

Cloak glanced at the twelve or so Cloak-sized holes behind him in differenc corridor walls. He felt no guilt.or sorrow for doing it. If the dear Inspector wanted and intact ship, he shouldn't have been kidnapping RAFians.

"Search for that integrity you've lacked.
Change your ways, get a clue!
Those dirty, rotten things you do.
P.U., P.U., P.U.!"

They were suspended on a hook of some stupidly strong plastic polymer. But they were surprisingly easy enough to take down from them, and subsequently freed from their bindings.

"Now, it's time.
High time.
To clean up your act."

All four were still unconscious. Cerulean came around first, and Cloak surmised that it had something to do with his superspeed. Gaz was next, calling first for Beaky, then realizing that he wasn't there. (He was sitting atop the crate, pecking at it uselessly. He was upset that he didn't do anything, despite not knowing, when Gaz was captured.)

"If you don't, you're cursed
And that's a fact!
Have a heart, that's the key.
You'll be saved, you'll be free.
Take a look and you'll see
The kind of being you were born to be!
Oooooh-weeee-oooooh-weeee!
Clean . . . up . . . your . . .
Clean up your act!"

Horse awoke with a start, afraid she was in the belly of the beast. Again. It took some time before she calmed down, and realized that she was safe. That she had not been eaten whole. Again. Last time, when she came out, she didn't want to talk about how she came out. Cloak surmised enough from that alone.

Meanwhile, GH was the most stubborn one to rouse. Which wasn't too odd, given his insomniac habits. But they were with Cloak, who knew the perfect way to rouse the RAFian.

"The inspector touched your guitar," the Realm Walker intoned.

Suddenly, GH's eyes snapped open and seized the guitar from his back, immediately translating it into its battleaxe form. He said, "I'll kill the bastard!"

Source Song: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oWbGm-P5PUY

[Cloak]

New chapter.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN:
Deploy . . . Nothing

"Erroneous attempt," the Inspector said. "Subject's rhythmic, time-organized sound's rhetoric makes a false assumption. This one has no act to clean up."

"Ugh," Esty said, as facepalmed. "There's thickheaded, and then there's disconnected to reality."

"Error: Subject is categorically incorrect."

Esty raised an incredulous eyebrow, "'Categorically'? Meaning all you pompous Weapons Masters, or whatever you call your holier-than-thou selves, are right in whatever endeavor you undertake, by definition?"

"Subject has come to see logic," the Inspector said.

Estly lost all levity she had before. Indeed, the mulish, affronted look she wore was not one any sane, rational being would want to see. "Logic, you say? You Inspector thingies must never leave your homeworld, or something, to buy into that kind of insane, lofty rhetoric."

The Inspector said nothing, apparently not wanting to deign to respond to that reply. But Esty wasn't done.

"No one is ever right by definition," Esty said. "The world is never so black and white, unless your mindset is incredibly skewed and narrowed. But I suppose different cultures have different views on the matter. But the thing is, dear Inspector, your sovereignty only extends to the reaches of whatever planet you inhabit."

Again, the Inspector did not reply. Apparently, engaging a dialogue such matters was beneath him.

"I'll repeat again for clarity, and I'll make the summary brief," Esty said, "Earth is off-limits."

"Subject hasn't the authority to make such limits," the Inspector said.

"Oh, really?" she said, gesturing to the detris and debris of the robots she and Cloak had destroyed. "And you Weapon Masters are the grand arbiters of all that is, are you? And here I thought you were just trying to push your products."

"Subject is trying to engage this one in a pseudo-intellectual debate," the Inspector said.

"'Pseudo-intel" . . . pal," Esty said, sundress gone. Replaced immediately and instantaneously with a yellow Kevlar bodysuit. "You're really grinding my nerves."

"Deploy Seekers --" the Inspector said, but noticing (finally) that something was wrong, he looked left toward his crate-like ship, which issued a belligerent explosion on the side that expelled the robots. The Inspector suddenly and unexpectedly abandoned his use of "computer-speak", as he demanded, "What the -- ?"

"You're not the only one, Esty." said a voice.

Cloak had left the crate ship, with GH and Gaz on his right side (Laserbeak was zooming overhead), and Cerulean was holding Horse on his left. It was as if time slowed down as they slowly and impressively walked to the Inspector.

[theyoungphoenix]

hah that was actually a lot cooler than i thought it was going to be XD

[Cloak]

Thanks!

New chapter.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN:
The True Power of RAF

"Inconsequential," the Inspector said, returning to his indifference, but not his computer-speak. "I have beaten you all before. I can do it again."

"Point of fact," Esty said, apparently feeling a need to clarify, "you didn't beat either Cloak or me. And you haven't even met Richard or Spectre."

"Inconsequential," the Inspector said, dismissively.

"First off," Cloak said, "you didn't defeat a single one of us. Your tech did. I highly doubt you even crafted those defense yourself."

Xeno looked a bit scandalized at this claim. He always built his own gadgets and toys, and considered building it part of the fun. He was shocked when someone would deprive themselves of that fun -- before reminding himself that some people were just not technologically-gifted, so to speak.

"Second of all, you only fought us one-on-one or one-on-two," Cloak said, as and the other four joined the other RAFians, beside Estelore. "You have yet to witness the true power of RAF. A power that I have to wonder if you Weapon Masters of Techadon can even scarcely imagine."

"That is both improbable and implausible," the Inspector scoffed derisively.

"I hope your camera's still working, because we're about to 'school you' as GH would say," Cloak said.

"I have never said that," GH put in.

"Ever so helpful, GH, per usual," Cloak sighed.

"I do what I can," GH smirking at Cloak's obvious exasperation.

"I do not have time to be subjugated to this exercise in childish conjecture," the Inspector sniffed.

"I think I liked him better when he spoke like a computer," Xeno commented to no one in particular. "Now he just sounds like rich, snobby brat with a word-a-day calendar."

"He's not wrong," Saffa agreed.

"You are all misguided. You efforts are and will forevermore be meaningless to the Weapons Masters."

"Puh, some Weapon Masters," Cloak snorted. "A Galvan could easily outperform any of you."

"The Galvan aren't as smart as you think!" the Inspector snarled. Cloak had found a nerve. A nerve he already suspected existed, and now received confirmation. The Weapon Masters clearly wanted to do nothing more than make the Galvan -- small, gray, frog-like aliens -- look bad. "They have no intricacies. No elegance in design, no --"

"Oh, shut the eff up already!" GH said. "I still haven't forgotten your knee trick, pal. That's really taboo here, ya know!!"

[theyoungphoenix]

XD poor GH

[guitarhero01234]

I won't get mad here, but just so ya' know, Cloaky's the only one who's allowed to capitalize my name. I can't even put a capital G and a capital H next to each other without jumping out a window

Also . . . god damn it . . . metal to crotch is not a good feeling . . . even after being unconscious for god knows how long. . . .