Memoirs of a RAFian

[Cloak]

But what about the DNAlien? What happened to that?

He reverted back into being Larry and the Xenocyte. Cloak killed the Xenocyte and Larry ran away.

The question you should be asking is, who put the Xenocyte on his head?

New chapter.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN:
Meanwhile . . .

"Looks like the honeymoon is over," GH said, with a small smirk.

They were all huddled around the eavesdropping device that allowed the RAFians to monitor the apes. It was miraculous that the three were not found out.

"This is very telling," Cloak said. "They aren't as much of a cohesive unit as they tried to present themselves as, not as organized."

"I'm having doubts about how legitimately commited the orangutan --" Saffa began.

"He was called Maestro," Dylan interjected.

"How legitimately committed Maestro," Saffa amended, "is to this cause."

"Because the false lead?" Parker said, doubtfully. "He is just probably not as familiar with the Internet as he thought he was, and took what he read from tumblr or 4chan or Twitter seriously."

"That's a big assumption," came Saffa's rebuttal.

"And so is assuming that he's not entirely in the ape supremacist camp," Parker countered swiftly, "especially becauseuse he quite literally is."

"Sorry, Saffa, but I'm with Parker on this one," Cloak said. "Just because Maestro had bungled the plan at the warehouse does not mean that it was deliberate."

"Doesn't mean that it wasn't, either," Saffa replied.

"Aaaaand the circular conversations begin," GH said, irreverently.

"Let's just hope that our three moles aren't discovered," Richard said, wearily.

"Aaaaand it's just been jinxed," GH replied dully.

Then they returned to listening and watching what was going on, and saw dimly that Maestro was browsing through the smartphone. It was remarkable that there was still wi-fi reception in this thick forest glade. This was where he was getting his intel.

"Somehow, " Phoenix said, "I think that they are wholly unprepared for the demands that their ever-so lofty goals."

"Most, if not all, guerrilla fighters are," Cloak said, thoughtfully, "if I'm not mistaken."

"Are they really a threat?" YeerkSalad asked.

No one answered.

No one had an answer.

[Cloak]

New chapter.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN:
That's Messed Up

Maestro continued to flip through the phone's browser, looking for the neuro-stimulant, where it could be stored. It was his rather naive hope that it would be the worst kept secret on the Internet, and he had gotten easily misled by a post on a conspiracy theorist's site. The webmaster of the site also seemed to think that man never landed on the moon, money in politics didn't exist, climate change was a hoax, and other such ludicrous notions.

But Maestro knew none of this. He was easily led astray, he was lied to. He looked like a bungler and an idiot for his grievous error. He was just lucky that none of their modestly small militia, despite Brutus's pointless need to bust heads. It was just not logical to dally there. The goal had moved away from that location.

Brutus gave too much credence to his own emotions, and held no restraint to them. If he didn't defer to Julius, and Maestro himself to a degree, he would just confirm the rampaging beast stereotype. Thus making the goal even more difficult to achieve.

It was true Maestro didn't think complete genocide was logical. He see it as a way to losing way too many ape lives, though he really didn't care about the lose of human lives, as he saw them as biologically lesser creatures -- weaker, dumber, and less worthy -- but not to be taken lightly. This was one subtlety that Brutus did not seem to comprehend, and the concept was not that difficult to grasp.

No, genocide was not necessary, despite what Brutus was pushing for. Complete and abject subjugation would just as well, not to mention they could make use of slaves far more than they could of corpses, as they knew nothing of Black Lanterns.

Maestro did not see anything wrong with slavery of what he considered to be a lesser species, a rather Yeerk-like mentality. If their compliance was a problem, then a simple lobotomy would do. That would make them more compliant in their new role.

He looked away from the smartphone, and remembered. Remembered how he and Brutus got smarter. They weren't always this way. . . . that he remembered well. He couldn't string together two complex thoughts, back when his thoughts were only on his next meal.

It was Julius. He had inoculated the two with the neuro-stimulator serum, in an no aerosol form lace into a papaya. They ate a papaya each, and the effects were near instantaneous. Julius, however, had exhausted the supply on this small militia. Having used the only nonaerosol form on him and Brutus.

Granted, neither Maestro nor Brutus understood or knew how Julius got his intelligence boost.

***

Julius was sitting his own tree, alone. He was mulling over his past, a past he would have much more preferred to forget. But it was horribly seared into his memory, and he was very glad that his fur covered the scars, so that no one could question him about it.

It was about three months ago, and he was of average chimp intelligence. Then the Heinlins came. They came and began to ride the humans. The unridden ones experimented on one . . . by attaching it to a threesome of chimps. One of them happened to be Julius. Control over his body had been taken from him and he . . . he couldn't really remember his time being ridden, only that he knew that he played host to one.

He did not know how, but since he was freed from the Heinlin, his intelligence had been augmented. He didn't know how, but he believed that he was the only one whose intelligence was augmented in such a way, as the humans probably have gotten dumber since being ridden. Or it could have been due to the experimentation that happened on his parents. He was born into captivity, and only fated to be experimented on himself . . .

It was after this event that he was bought from the government and wound up in that hellhole pit of the universe, where he met and named Maestro and Brutus. By doing this, by increasing their intelligence, he had earned their loyalty and due deference.

This is what caused his anti-human inclinations. . . .

[redtailedsaffa]

damn Heinlins ruining everything

[Cloak]

More like a paranoid government who refused to listen to use.

New chapter.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN:
The Next Site and Yarin's News

Maestro seemed to have stumbled upon the neuro-stimulant's manufacturer website. Which detailed its location, and gave up the location of its warehouses. Maestro would have brought this right up to Julius, like he did before, but now he paused.

He hesitated, before he decided to hold off on this, just to check the veracity, the validity, pf this information. He must not be mistaken again. He must not misread or misinterpret this information, or the dunderhead gorilla known as Brutus would use that justify his claims that Maestro didn't know what he was doing.

Or worse, a traitor. That would have been the ultimate humiliation. Being portrayed as a sympathizer for a species that he had no love for. He remembered the rampant mistreatment and flagrant abuse, he would not forget such things that easily. He had yet to see any human with any quality he would consider redeeming. He valued them as slaves -- and possible entertainment via target practice or something similar -- that did not mean that he sympathized with them.

He thought of them as dirty, greedy, little devils just like the rest, but if he was right that the chemical was stored at this place . . . then their numbers would increase. Their kind would flourish, they would overtake the humans. They could win. They would win.

Maestro completely discounted human weaponry. He completely neglected to account for human firearms and tanks and nukes. Their crusade was a failed one from the get-go and Maestro didn't even realize it.

***

"This is not good," Yarin muttered as all six of his eyes widened with realization of the implications of this. He was not with the others, listening and watching the ape supremacist camp. He was in the lab -- not too surprising, as he was here when he was not either on or working on his ship. It was always this way, until someone literally pulled him away. "This is not good at all."

He was testing the neuro-stimulator on ape and human tissue -- he wouldn't go into detail on just how he procured these tissues -- and he found the results very and undeniably conclusive. He ran multiple tests on it, and kept coming up with the same conclusions. And he had so desperately hoped that he was wrong.

The neuro-stimulator worked to alleviate the symptoms of Alzheimer's in humans, but only for a limited time. Eventually, even if the drug was taken regularly, the patient's body would build up a resistance to it, and the symptoms of Alzheimer's would not only return, but return in force. It would worsen considerably until they essentially are living in a comatose state, usually pejoratively referred to as a "vegetable".

But the effects of the drug worked differently on apes, in some rather monumental ways. It boosted their intelligence, their sentience, to complex levels, a change that was permanent. That was all well and fine, and it would appear to be rather harmless in that regard. However, perhaps in six months time, it would eventually proved to be carcinogenic. Horribly carcinogenic.

Julius was leading a dying militia.

[Cloak]

New chapter.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN:
New to Pneumonia

Hours later, Julius had abandoned his lonely branch and began to move amongst his troops now. Not saying anything, but almost as if he was counting them, checking on their health and well-being, and other such appraising things. He stopped in front of a gorilla who looked . . . unwell.

It was Empress Goose's former host body, before he lived up to his species name and hopped into another ape, which was less difficult to "drive". But the female gorilla wasn't looking so hot. Julius certainly didn't like the sound of her cough, which caused him some concern. He placed his leathery hand to her forehead, and thought he felt a fever. She also seemed to be shaking, and experiencing a shortness of breath. Something was clearly wrong.

But just what, Julius cannot say. He had no medics in this militia, a rather poignant problem. The closest thing to one he had was Maestro, whom he called over. Maestro looked in his stolen smartphone, now down to a single bar of power, to divine the answer. He went to something he called ook-peed-dee-a -- Wikipedia, his thick voice mangling the name.

"Puh-neumonia," Maestro decided.

Underseen happened to be nearby and was tempted to correct him in saying that it was pronounced as "pneumonia", the "p" was silent. But he found himself wondering more just how that particular ape got pneumonia. And she wasn't the only on of the militia suffering from it. At least fifteen percent of the militia was suffering from it.

"Eleven apes down," Julius muttered, and Ash could hear him. "Only fifty-nine in any shape to fight."

"We must tend to them," Maestro said. "They should get over this hurdle."

Somehow, Empress Goose doubted it. While he inhabited her, he could swear that he actually felt her lifeforce ebbing and weakening. He thought that, somehow, this wasn't just pneumonia. This was a symptom of something more, but he didn't know what . . .

But it didn't go away. Soon, thirty-five percent of the militia were afflicted. Julius seemed unable to cope with this. Underseen, Ash, and Empress Goose didn't see this as good, but a horrid thing. They didn't know why there was this sudden outbreak of pneumonia or that pneumonia is a.possible symptom of lung cancer . . .

[Cloak]

New chapter.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN:
Found Out

This was one wrinkle that Julius was completely unprepared for, and had not anticipated. But how could he foreseen this invisible menace? How was he to know that the very serum he used to create his militia would cause its very destruction? How was he to know just how fruitless this endeavor would be?

Julius was enraged at this outcome, at the result. He refused to believe that it was the serum -- granted, he hadn't any reason to believe that -- but considered the possibility that there might be traitors in their midst. The thought of such a betrayal of his trust left him near inconsolable. Thirty of the seventy (three more had just fallen to pneumonia symptoms), a third of which had already died.

Who could have done this horrible thing to them? Who could have possibly inflicted this kind of disease to his troops? The humans didn't know about their insurrection yet, did they? How could they? Julius has kept his team quiet and stealthy, hadn't he? How could this have hap --

Suddenly, a commotion. His apes have noticed somthing, and along the way he counted the upright apes. Thirty . . . thirty-five . . . forty . . . forty-two? Nah, he must have just miscounted. And yet . . .

As it turns out, Empress Goose was having difficulty staying inside his chosen ape body and fell out. There wasn't enough time to find another one before being discovered. Even if he did, it would be obvious which ape he inhabited and his cover would still be blown.

"What is this creature doing here?" Julius growled. He wasn't flanked by Maestro and Brutus, who feeling sick, but not with pneumonia. Julius wasn't in the mood to be very lenient, and then addressed him directly. "What are you doing here? Are you the one making my troops sick?! What did you do?! Answer me. Answer me now!!"

Empress Goose looked around fervently, almost as like a naughty child with his hand in the cookie jar. But he said nothing.

"Human!" Julius said. "A superior creature asked you a question! You will answer me! And you will do it -- wait a minute."

He noticed some odd behavior between two chimpanzees. They didn't walk or move like an ape. They walked upright more often than any other ape in camp. There was a possibility of two extra apes.

"And you two," Julius snarled. "You two are not part of my troops, are you? Are you?!"

Silence.

"Answer my questions the three of you!" Julius demanded as another five apes fell to pneumonia. "What did you do to my troops?!"

"They didn't do anything, Julius," came a voice from the shroud of darkness in the forest. Just a pair of glowing, amber eyes. "It was you. You did this to them."

[Cloak]

New chapter.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN:
Going Ape

"LIAR!!" Julius raged, as even more apes fell to pneumonia. Fifty-three apes of the seventy were now suffering from pneumonia, suffering from lung cancer. "LIAR!! I haven't done anything to harm them!!"

"The aerosol form of neuro-stimulator is carcinogenic, Julius," Cloak said, from the shadows. Only his glowing amber eyes giving up his location. "The very same chemical that led to their heightened intelligence has a ninety-seven percent chance of giving apes lung cancer."

"LIAR," Julius roared, picking up a long wooden stick. "YOU did this!! I don't know how but you and your three --"

Julius realized he became too consumed with addeess this voice-from-the-darkness and he completely lost track of the three that he had cornered. They were gone now, but the couldn't have gone far, he would have heard them pushing through the underbrush.

"Where did they go?!" Julius demanded.

"Where did who go?" the voice said. The amber eyes were gone.

"YOUR THREE MINIONS!! YOUR MINIONS THAT POISONED MY TROOPS!!"

"They did not poison your troops," the voice insisted, "you did that yourself."

"NO, I DIDN'T!!" Julius raged, as the totality of his troops became afflicted with pneumonia. "YOU DID!!!"

"Repeated declarations of the falsehood does not make it true," Cloak said. "Julius, you need to come to terms with this. They came to this end because of the neuro-stimulant. It is carcinogenic."

"LIES!"

"In bolstering their intellect and sentience, you granted them pneumonia and lung cancer," Cloak said, from the darkness. "Even now, I sense their lifeforces dwindling. And fading. The malodorous smell of death, even now, pervades your camp."

"You lie."

"It was your doing," Cloak said, laying it on, "in your genocidal zeal, you have doomed and condemned these poor apes to what likely will be a painful death. This is why such bigotry is not strength, why such intolerance is not might. Such zealotry will always, inevitably, hurt the innocent."

"Lies . . ."

But was clear that he didn't even believe it himself anymore, and was feeling much aggrieved.

[redtailedsaffa]

Oh my god pls die already.

[Cloak]

I trust you mean Julius, and not me, right?

And no, he won't die like the others. He never took the serum, or its aerosol form, his intelligence is a result of the Heinlins and the government experimentation on him.

New chapter.

CHAPTER NINETEEN:
Alone and Progress

"Alright. Alright," Julius said, sullenly. "I get it. I get it."

"Get what, precisely?" Cloak asked from the shadows.

"GET IT, ALRIGHT?!" his yell was more like a wounded animal, "I . . . I used them. I was so blinded in stopping the human filth that I didn't pause to think what may have happened to my troops, my people long term."

Silence.

Just one breathing chimpanzee amongst dead bodies. His entire troop, exposed to the elements, fell to complications derived from the lung cancer. Guilt eatting away at Julius's conscience. He had already bypassed denial, anger, and bargaining. He was lapsing into depression. And depression can be very dangerous.

"You're judging me, aren't you?" he said, but his voice carried no anger, just utter hopelessness. "You . . . you aren't human, are you?"

"No," Cloak said, still from the shadows, "I am not."

"Then there is no shame in being judged by you," he said, simply and sadly. "But you are not one of my kind. I can tell that. I am alone, with a lot of bodies to bury."

Silence.

"Please, leave me be," he said, "leave me to the business to the people that I failed."

Silence.

"I know you're still there," he said, tonelessly. He was indifferent to whether he was being listened to or not. The deep depression was all consuming, and inescapable. "I wish to be alone with my fallen comrades. Fallen due to what I did . . ."

Silence.

"This was my fault," he muttered, more for his benefit than anyone else. "My fault . . . my failures . . . my responsibility . . ."

After each grave was dug properly and each body buried properly, a process which took days, a process Julius worked with fanatical diligence and a solemn sadness. And after it was all done, he looked at his work.

"This is truly a miserable world," he muttered, still inside that deep depression."

He took his life, rather than endure this pain in his heart.

***

"I see progress has been made," Aniyu said.

"Not much," Cloak said, seeing that the red, thorny vines had loosened some, but not completely.

"Sometimes progress is incremental," Aniyu said, patently. "Not all progress can be made in leaps and bounds. Sometimes, its slower. But progress is progress."

Cloak looked at the ground, feeling disheartened. Aniyu put her hand on his shoulder, and said, "Do no mistake the steps you're taking for failure, young Cloak. I know it's not as much as you would have liked, but there is a lot of emotion, a lot anger here, to sort through. Remember, this was never going --"

"Never going to be easy," Cloak finished. He never realized just how much tangled up emotion he had recolving around his mother. Just how much energy he had twisted and entangled due to his conflict and enmity with his mother.

[guitarhero01234]

Oh . . . god. That one hit home.

[Cloak]

New chapter.

CHAPTER TWENTY:
MY GOD, the Heat!

"Hey, watch it!" a person in an armadillo mascot suit* demanded, apparently unaware of the general rule of thumb to be silent whilst in-costume. And apparently he didn't care.

"GH?" Saffa asked. "That's you in there?"

"What of it?" GH said, sounding almost defensively.

"You're a RAFian! That's a full-time job," Abby said.

"You two are students in addition to your RAFian duties," GH pointed out shrewdly. "Why is it so bad that I wanted to make a few extra bucks?"

Saffa was with Oceanspray, Abby, and Underseen. They had gone to the local hole-in-the-wall restaurant, which was actually well-hidden, for what it was.

"And, more to the point," GH said, which was still rather awkward, because he was still wearing the armadillo head, and his voice was significantly muffled, "there are those calls for RAF to be defunded. Don't pretend that you don't know."

"You know you're not supposed to talk, in-costume," Oceanspray observed.

"Yeah," GH replied, "I don't care."

"Why did you volunteer to do this?" Underseen asked.

"Because I'm an effin' masochist," GH said. "And I didn't exactly volunteer for this.** Given the choice, I would have taken this crap off at fifteen minutes."

"How long have you been wearing it, then?" Abby asked.

"Twenty minutes," GH replied. "It's already ridiculously hot and I can't see worth a sh--"

"What's that?" Underseen interrupted, pointing an inquistive finger.

The creature had a dark yellow body with black hands and feet, with a flaming head***. It was another DNAlien, and this one was half Xenocyte and half Pyronite. It possessed pyrokinesis, and, thus, no weakness to heat and fire.

"Is that one of those DNAlien thingies?" Oceanspray asked.

"I don't know!" GH said. "I.can't see worth a damn in this thing!"

Saffa and Abby quickly morphed, by instinct only, to Crabdozer. Which happened to, quite literally, eat Pyronites for breakfast.

"Wait," Oceanspray said, "Yarin gave me a data card, to add a G.I.F. to my systems."

He installed the card into his right arm, and he retracted hand into the cannon arm, which glowed Omnitrix-green. He charged up a blast as the DNAlien seem to be more weary of the two hulking Crabdozers.

"How many shots?" Underssen asked.

"One," Oceanspray answered.

"Make it count," GH said, having to remove the armadillo mascot head due to the shear heat the Pyronite DNAlien produced in his direction. The suit felt like mummy bandages slick with sweat. "And, not to rush you or anything . . ."


*

** And this is where Memoirs deters from reality . . .

***

[guitarhero01234]

Jesus, that dialogue. I can imagine myself saying every word of it. Very well done

[Cloak]

So our nightly dialogues in chat were not for naught, then.



New book idea. I hope that I haven't rehashed this one before . . . don't think I have, but if I did, I think that I can work around it. . . .

• Book CMLXXXVI (986): "No Zarm Will Come to Them" -- The RAFians must deal with a being calling himself Zarm, the Iron Fists of Conquest and the Iron Fists of Destruction.
• Book CMLXXXVII (987): "Breaking Bonds" -- A Realm Walker called Unbonder seeks to inrepably destroy the Mark and its connections.

Titles are subject to change, as always.

New chapter.

BOOK CXXI:
A DIFFERENT UNITY
CHAPTER ONE:
Progression and Savagery

"See there?" Aniyu said, indicating the vine wall's diminished growth. "Your rage and anger is ebbing."

"It's pointless to feel anger at it," Cloak said. "It happened a good long time ago. I cannot change what happened. I'm just hurting myself and people around me by allowing it to still anger myself to such a degree."

The vine withered a bit more, but Cloak did not seem to notice. He continued to follow this line of thought.

"It still happened," he said. "Despite whether or not I wanted it to, it happened just the same. There is no going back to making it happen differently, or wishing to do so. If it did not happen, I would not be who I am today."

The scarlet vines withered into browns -- coincidentally making the symbol of the Red Lanterns (a circle with two vertical lines on either side of it) as it did.

"All in all," Cloak said, with perspective, "while I have no interest in having her back in my life, that does not mean that I'm obligated to stay angry with her. That does not mean I am obligated to like her if I'm not angry with her. I understand this now."

The vines withered away to nothing. Cloak had forgive his mother for what she did to him and for what she had become. He wouldn't necessarily forget, but he would not allow it to dictate and infiltrate his life anymore. He was freed from the anger.

But behind this layer of crimson thorns was another layer of thorns. They were orange this time. Cloak's first inclination was thinking that it had to do with avarice, due to the emotional spectrum, but that didn't really make sense.

"Yes," Aniyu said, "you've done well, young Cloak. The layer of anger and rage has dissolved. We have now managed to make it to the second layer. Do you know what this layer entails?"

Cloak was hesitant in his response, "A-avarice and greed?"

Aniyu looked at him, puzzled, before correcting him, "No, dear. It deals with deep desire."

***

"You really wore one of those suits?" Hunter asked, teasingly. He evidently heard about GH's little excursion.

"I needed the cash, okay?" GH said. "I have my eye on this new little amp. But the price was a little on the steep side."

"Who was watching Leatherhead, then?" Aquilai asked, prudently.

"Oh, LH was babysat by Cloaky," he answered easily.

"You didn't even ask him did you?" the Time Lord asked shrewdly. "Was this all just an overly elaborate scheme to get your cigarettes back?"

"What cigarettes?" GH said, rather unconvincingly.

"Oh, yeah, GH, really selling it th--" Hunter began jovially, then he sniffed and found an unfamiliar scent on the air. This sudden silence rendered the other RAFians silent, as they could tell something was up with this sudden shift in tone.

"There," Hunter said, intense and intently.

The charging creature had a dark orange body with black feet and a black back and a visible brain. It was a DNAlien, a Vulpimancer DNAlien. Presumably, being a DNAlien did not inhibit any of the Vulimancer's natural abilities -- enhanced strength, enhanced durability, enhanced agility, enhanced digging, enhanced sense of smell (otherwise it'd be completely blind, as it had no eyes as a normal Vulpimancer), enhanced hearing, enhanced speed, sharp teeth and claws, quill projection, and wallclimbing -- it was a dangerous foe.

"It's a DNAlien!" GH said.

"You've faced these kinds of creatures before?" Aquilai asked.

"Yes! No!" GH said, then clarified, "I faced the human variations, and was present when Oceanspray separated that Xenocyte from that Pyronite, Phlare. Which was horrible because of that stupid armadillo suit."

"So, would one of Yarin's G.I.F.s work on it?" Hunter asked, as the charging Vulpimancer got closer and closer.

"Yes," GH said, "how many shots you got?"

"Two."

"Make 'em count."


*

[Cloak]

Hopefully, this doesn't get too sappy at the end.

New chapter.

CHAPTER TWO:
Lull in the Action

The Vulpimancer DNAlien was easily hit by Hunter's first shot, which forced it to separate into a dazed Xenocyte (which Hunter aptly saw fit to riddle with bullet holes, a good instinct in this case) and a Vulpimancer whose name was unpronounceable to any language but their own, not unlike true names of a Realm Walkers, which all sound like miscellaneous animal noises (depending on the Realm Walker's anthropomorphic forms). After gathering his senses, the Vulpimancer did exactly what Larry and Phlare did. He ran off to parts unknown. Despite appearances, Vulpimancers were perfectly sentient and intelligent.

Vulpimancer DNAlien aside, it was a relatively uneventful time at RAF. Well, as far as missions went. Most everyone had plans for the next several days.

Dylan, YeerkSalad, Abby and Saffa were doing things for their school which would have them devoting a good deal of time, most if not all of which would be outside the forum.

Phoenix had decided to vacation in a foreign country, despite only a cursory knowledge of the language. But he was excited to go, anticipating great fun.

Cloak was going to spend some time in his usual meditation spot in the forest. He wanted to bust through those layers with Aniyu as quickly as he possibly could. Maybe he could find some inner peace and . . . and maybe he could exercise greater control over his abilities when he's feeling an extreme emotion.

Goom was going to make an annual pilgrimage that he told no one about, and Yarin was going to take him in about three days time.

More and more RAFians, too numerous to count, were making their plans for off-forum endeavors. So that it would seem like the forum was virtually abandoned in a few days time.

However, one RAFian in particular wasn't having so much as off-forum plans for fun and pleasure, like most of the others, but having to go to work. At a job that he wasn't particularly all that fond of.

"Look, I said that I wasn't going to do again," he was saying to his boss at the restaurant on his phone. Leatherhead was covertly eavesdropping, while pretending to watch tv.

GH paused briefly to listen to his boss's piece.

"No! I said, 'no'!" he insisted.

Pause.

"The last time I wore thwt godforsaken thing I was attacked by a Pyronite DNAlien!" GH said, before realizing how that sounded. "Look, I don't want to do it. It's not a part of my -- no, it isn't!"

GH didn't like this guy, especially because he seemed to enjoy putting GH is such a position. Especially when he decided to blow smoke into the mesh he was supposed to see out of when he wore the damn thing in the first place. GH thought that he was just abusing his power now.*

"Then give me a pay raise to do -- you can't do that!" GH yelled, which caused Leatherhead to jump, unaccustomed to seeing his adoptive father in such a state. Well, in such a state without some evil bad guy breathing noxious breath on him. "Well, why does it have to me?! Have Craig or Kenny** -- no, I do not have to do it because you say -- you can't be serious, McCarthy!"

Pause, as Leatherhead looked worried for GH, and GH too concerned with, too focused on his phone call to really notice. GH's face was reddening with sheer frustration, and he was wondering if the damn amp was worth it.

"You know what McCathy?" GH said, sound as if he was at his wit's end. "If it's so damn important to have 'Armadillo Anderson' in the restaurant, why don't you do it?!"

Pause.

"You can't do that and you know it," GH said, clearly countering some cindescendingly flippant remark, "that would be wrongful termination, and you know it."

Pause.

"McCarthy, you know that I can't do my job and wear that godforsaken thing at the same time!"

Pause.

"Then have Herbert*** wear it! You know that he doesn't like to get off his big butt to do his job anyway!"

Pause.

"Okay, I concede the point. No, he wouldn't fit." GH said. "But my answer is still . . . McCarthy, you're not listening to -- McCarthy! You're not listening to -- I don't wann dress up as --"

A long pause.

"FINE!!" GH said, who was tired of arguing. And he had considered another expense when looked at Leatherhead -- he also wanted to get him an instrument. The amp thjng was really a cover for this. McCarthy had offered him a bonus for doing it for the entirety of the next shift, which GH, deep down, knew he would renege on. "FINE. But I'm not going to be friggjn' happy about it. -- Yeah, well, too bad."

Then he hung up, as Leatherhead came up to GH, and said, "Are you okay, Daddy?"

GH offered his adopted son as small, but loving and compassionate smile, pulling hkm into an one-arm hug "I'm fine, LH. Don't worry 'bout it."


* Dunno if this actually true, but assumed that every job has those jerks who go out of there way to irritate you.

** Note: I do not know if GH works with anyone named Kenny or Craig.

*** Note: I do not know if GH works with a Herbert, but this is based on one I knew. And never really liked.

[guitarhero01234]

I actually do work with a guy named Kenny and used to work with someone named Craig. They're both pretty cool.

And for the record, most of my managers are pretty cool. Even the one that blew smoke into the costume is usually alright; this is just one instance where he was being a douchebag. Just wanted to clear that up.

Also, the last few paragraphs were great. Very short, but I really liked the tiny bit of characterization there.