Memoirs of a RAFian

[redtailedsaffa]

Well, I never leave anywhere without my phone, so snap, camera, instant proof. Goddamnit, gh.

Also how in the name of all that's holy do you come up with these tracks.

[guitarhero01234]

But that grapple was the only proof. It was far too dark, the lighting too poor to take a picture of any reputable resolution to be able to be verifiable proof.

I'm assuming that's why I didn't take a picture

[Cloak]

But that grapple was the only proof. It was far too dark, the lighting too poor to take a picture of any reputable resolution to be able to be verifiable proof.

I'm assuming that's why I didn't take a picture

Yes, it is. Not to mention the grapple itself is already difficult to make out with the naked eye. It would look like Aloth is essentially pantomiming coiling a rope if the light was better.

Also how in the name of all that's holy do you come up with these tracks.

Except the first three, the names are clues to the tracks' basis. And I did base all the tracks off actual racing courses from an obscure racing game. . . . The first three from a less obscure one.

Oh, and more book ideas.

• Book CMLXXXII: "The Mimic, the Pretender" -- A Realm Walker pretender impersonates Cloak.
• Book CMLXXXIII: "Enhansitol" -- The RAFians must try to save three victims of Enhansitol.
• Book CMLXXXIV: "Cloak, This is Your Life!" -- It's Cloak's birthday and he gets roasted.

Don't think I rehashed anything. Let me know what you think!

New chapter.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN:
Track Eight -- the Tundra One

GH had returned to his thread, not really sure that he saw what he did. It could have been a trick of the light, and Aloth could be really crazy. He wasn't even talking to anyo--

Oh, he was probably communicating with the other Banned. Probably their leader, the self-proclaimed "Almighty" Queen. But Aloth thought he would have the power to unBan the Banned. He never realized the prize wasn't anything but b--

"Leatherhead, where do you think you're going?" GH said, sharply addressing his charge.

"Bed," he answered innocently.

"Did you think I forgot?" GH asked. "Bath time, mister. March!"

***

The first track of this, the final day, was of a tundra motif. The grounds were literally littered with manufactured ice and pitfalls that if a racer was to slide into practically guaranteed last place by the time the racer climbed out.

The course began with a simple straight away, with a gradual curve with a pit on the far side and a meridan between the far side and the inner side, providing some defense against it if a racer stuck to the inside of the curve. Then it proceeded normally, until a big square pit right smack dab in the middle of the course, but the sides had plenty of clearance, but it was surrounded with the slickest ice for the unwary racers who past it. Then there a brief jaunt inside a cavernous tunnel, before back out into open air. Then course continues normally, until a massive pitfall on the right, but plenty of clearance on the left to bypass it. Then the course becomes rather twisty and almost sadistic before coming to another meridian that's icy on the left side but not on the right. Then a long narrow path in which the left half is a pitfall and the the left side is solid. Then came the chasm that ran diagonally to the path, with a small sinew of land connecting the two. Then atter a short turn, and an easy-to-avoid pitfall, was the finish line.

The RAFians quickly lined up -- including Cerulean this time -- and Aloth didn't seem all that flippant this time. This just proved that Cerulean was starting to take this seriously. Yes, it was about time.

FWEEEEET!!

And they were off, but before any of them took their second step, Cerulean had already left the starting line, and -- promptly fell into a pitfall. But before any of the other racers could make any more headway, Cerulean was out and had crossed the finish line as the rest of them . . . fell into the first pitfall, with Parker pulling a Raphael and yelling,"Damn!"

Abby, however narrowly avoided fall, but was dragged in when Aloth used his invisible tether to swap positions, a la "Speedrunners". No one could see the tether, so they could not suspect Aloth of cheating, especially as it left no tangible marks.

Aloth continued with impunity until the RAFians got out and easily overtook him . . . only to slide into the next pitfall. Where Aloth used the same trick, but on Yarin this time. This would not endear him to the RAFians, and he knew it perfectly well. And so it continued, until the Banned was in the lead, and nearly taking second place.

Then he fell into the last pitfall, his tether useless, as there wasn't another competitor around for it to latch onto. So, while Abby claimed second, he hit the bottom.of the pit fall. As Broken claimed third, he picked himself up, and dusted himself off. As Gaz claimed fourth, he touched the rock face. He began to climb as Yarin claimed fifth, and pulled himself out as Parker claimed sixth.

For the first time, Aloth claimed last place.

"Serves the cheating bastard right," GH muttered, rather mutinously.

[Cloak]

New chapter.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN:
Track Nine -- the Canyon One

The ninth one was in a canyon setting, with streaming water, which made the terrain a bit trickier to traverse.

The course began with a straightaway path, with a sharp, 90-degree turn within eyeline of the racers. This part divulged into a jump on the lefthand side or a simple continuwtion of the course down a slig slope. Both paths lead to the same place, inudated with water. This led to a small, "S"-shaped turn, leading into a more twisty route, dotted here and there with flowing water. Then it let to an open area with trickles of water and hidden mines before narrowing into a twisting pattern again. This led to a wide open area, with a sharp turn to the finish line, a brisk sprint away.

There was a sense of satisfaction that Aloth actually came in last, and Aloth actually felt abashed, his bravado having taken a serious hit. Most, if not all, the RAFians, racers or not, thought it was high time that he was taken down a peg.

Aloth was really the heel in this whole event, and he loved that aspect, but some of the fun had gone from the entire experience for him, but no one cared. Nobody cared ennough tk even correct him in his misunderstanding of the grand prize. It wasn't what he thought it was simply --

FWEEEEEEEEET!!

And they were off. Aloth was trailing again, and Cerulean had already completed the course. His superhuman speed was really making this less of a contest but rather a battle for second place and on. As long as Cerulean is fit to race, there was no chance for Aloth to win. Cerulean was the RAFians' safety card.

Aloth was able to use his tether liberally to manage get into and maintain his second place standing. And, all the while, he thought about the situation. If Cerulean was still in the picture, there would be no way for him to win, even though Cerulean had already won have of the courses, thereby having a perfect score thus far.

Cerulean is a problem, Aloth thought as he managed to secure third place, as Gaz managed to squeak by him without his notice. He would have to be taken out of the equation. He would have to have an . . . an accident.

Cerulean had basically locked in 57% of the win. There was very little chance that his scheme would work in delivering him the overall win. Cerulean had already essentially win, and the rest of the courses were a mere formality at this point. But there was a chance that something might come up in later courses to overturn this extreme lead, and they had to commit to the other courses. Aloth didn't bother to learn this, and just thougt the last one was the one to really be concerned with.

Cerulean's flawless victories were making him the target of a desperate Banned, one desperate to win, no matter the costs.

[guitarhero01234]

For some reason, I keep thinking the prize is going to be like the end of this video.

[spoiler]And now, it is time for your reward! A gift certificate . . . TO THE CRACKER BARREL![/spoiler]

[Cloak]

For some reason, I keep thinking the prize is going to be like the end of this video.

[spoiler]And now, it is time for your reward! A gift certificate . . . TO THE CRACKER BARREL![/spoiler]

Probably an apt instinct. Although I remember Esty once suggesting if one was to make a drinking game out of the plot twists in Memoirs, it'd result in organ failure . . .

New chapter.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN:
Track Ten -- the Arms Factory One

The next track was in an munitions factory setting. Parker actually blended into this setting surprisingly well. This course was littlered with acceleration and deceleration zones which sped up and slowed down the racers respectively.

This course started off with a straightway path, which inevitably led to a forty-five-degree curves which led two acceleration zones as the area narrowed into a "d"-like shap befor coming to another curve. Just around the curve was a red deceleration zone, which was, in all honesty, kinda hard to miss. From there, the racers enter a covered area full of acceleration and deceleration zones with only a tiny, one-tile wide path free from the zones. Exiting this area led to a ninety-degree turn into two acceleration zones, which led a upward-sloping tunnel with an acceleration zone in it. This lead to another "d"-shaped area where there was a big deceleration zone and a strip of an acceleration zone. Beyond this was another deceleration zone on the right.
Then two beanbag cannons firing on opposite sides beyond this. Then a curve with three strips of acceleration zones placed perpendicular to the course, then it was a straight shot to the finish line.

The RAFians -- and Aloth -- lined up at the starting line, the RAFians wearing rather uncharacteristicall y contemptuous looks when they glanced over at Aloth. The young Banned did not really like this as much as being loathed. It wasn't really like being hated, the scorn was different, less appealing. More humiliating. It was bad enough his communication with Queen the night before wasn't exactly the most . . . compassionate, on her part.

FWEEEEEEEEET!!

And, once again, they were off.

This course seemed to be partly problematic for Cerulean, particularly the deceleration zones. They earned his ire, as he couldn't lock in the first place as easily. He would have to actually work for it this time. He couldn't get ****y.

Aloth was unable to use his tether because walls continually got in his way. Not to mention that when ever he managed to get a good shot, the intended target coincidentally managed to twist or move out the way, oblivious to this fact. The Banned was increasingly irritated by this. It was as if the very course itself was aware of his cheating ways and working against him, preventing him from cheating.

But he couldn't come right out and complain about it, as it would disqualify him, and deny him the power, he believed, to unBan him and Queen. Yorick had left the Bannedlands about six months ago, give or take. Word was he went to work for some spineless tv producer named Jumbo or something ridiculous like that.

But, just like that the race finished, and Cerulean actually didn't get first place, but second, due to proliferation of the deceleration zones.it was Parker that came in first, and Aloth, due to his emotional distractions, was last.

[Cloak]

New chapter.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN:
Track Eleven -- the Flying Fortress One

The next track had a futuristic, floating fortress motif and setting. Another course that Parker actually fit quite well into, thematically. Though it seemed to have a rather bad case of explosions, which happened here and there, seemingly completely at random.

The course started out like the previous ones with a straightaway path. Then it curved at a forty-five-degree angle, and then another likewise curve. Beyond that were two deceleration fields, that looked rather like scarlet rust spots. Then a sharp turn to a field of ice, which had no safe path through it -- the racers would have to tread on it, regarless if they wanted to or not. Beyond this was a road that was ice on the left side and a deceleration zone on the right. It was a Hobson's choice, in that, in order to proceed further, they would have to choose either one side, the other, or straight down the middle where both meet (both, in other words). Then, behind this, was yet another rust spot-like deceleration zone before a turn. The turn emptied out intot a "d"-shaped area with a median. From there, the course got really windy and, when it straightened out, it became even more treacherous. Pools of water appeared on the course, and they were not shallow. These pools transmogrified into a field of ice, then the road hecame windy and filled with nonlethal mines, before leading to the straightaway to the finish line.

This . . . this was the toughest course because of just how many things were going on.

None of the racers looked at each other, no one noticed Aloth's failed and covert attempt to shiv Cerulean, not even the RAFian himself. Aloth would not get another chance because --

FWEEEEEET!!

Also because the shiv was embedded into the ground, almost unnoticeable. Anyway, they were off and to say that no one was affected by the traps was an understatement.

Parker hated the ice and water segments, as he failed to anticipate them accurately and the fact that they seemed to ruin the buff on his armor anytime that he fell.

Cerulean was verbally spouting vulgarities at the deceleration zones, which caused him to lose a significant amount of his speed. He only came in first by a hair.

Gaz, Abby, Yarin and Broken were seriously not liking the explosions.

And Aloth? Aloth wasn't liking the fact the walls were interfering with his grapple tether, as it has to have a straight line to be able to work, he couldn't bounce it off walls an such without severely reducing its effectiveness. He couldn't cheat, he couldn't take out the main threat to Queen's scheme -- as it really wasn't his. This whole thing was becoming impossible!!

There were still three more courses to go, and they all were easier than this.

[guitarhero01234]

None of the racers looked at each other, no one noticed Aloth's failed and covert attempt to shiv Cerulean

Well. I can certainly say I didn't expect Aloth to attempt murder. I don't know why, but still.

[Cloak]

Well, not necessarily murder, but more to incapacitate. Also, Aloth is fraught with desperation and stress -- he ain't thinking clearly.

New chapter.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN:
Track Twelve -- the Rural One

The twelfth track was in a rural setting and motif. It was, in all honesty, frankly refreshing, given how stressful and chaotic the last track was.

The course began like the others with a straightaway path forward before a turn. Shortly after that turn was another. Then another straightaway to another turn, where the racers would decend a moderately steep hill. Then they were to round abother turn, while avoiding the wall place immediately thereatter, almost as a dick move. Then round another corner while avoiding another two similarly placed walls. Then another when moving to another straight part of the course, where another wall needed to be avoided. Then nothing eventful, except for yet another curve to be rounded. Followed by three more. Then a hill to traverse, then three more freestanding walls to avoid. Then another turn, and a straight line to the finish line.

The RAFians, and Aloth, gathered at the starting line. Aloth glaring at the rest of them now, especially Cerulean. He would have tried to shiv him again, but he had lost his shank, or else he would try again and again until the race was over or until he succeeded in incapacitating him -- and Aloth considered death the ultimate incapacitation, though he really did not know himself if that would have been his intention, though the RAFians would surely see it that way.

FWEEEEEEEEET!!

And they were off, and Aloth was able to use his invisible, "Speedrunners"-like grapple tether to cheat as easily as he did the previous day. This improved his mood -- and ****iness -- considerably. Thouh it would not work on Cerulean who moved too fast for Aloth to use the item effectively.

So, naturally, he came in second, after Cerulean.

"God dammit!" GH cursed in a rage. Then he looked at Leatherhead, and said, "Don't say that, it's a grown-up word."

"A'ight, Daddy," Leatherhead said, brightly.

"What is it, Logan?" said a voice from his left.

"Don't call me that, Riya," GH said at once.

"Fine, fine," Saffa said, throwing her hands up in mock surrender. "What's got your so up in arms?"

"Aloth is cheating!!"

"I think we all pretty much assume that he is," Saffa said evenly.

"I'm not assuming!" GH exclaimed. "I know that he is!!"

[Cloak]

New chapter.

CHAPTER NINETEEN:
Track Thirteen -- the Space One

The next track, the penultimate one, was in a space setting and motif. It was disorienting, but not as tough as the fortress one.

The course started off going straight and sloping upward, guarded by two beanbag cannons faceing each other,before briefly evening out. Then it sloped upward again, and levelled out at the crest of the slope, which immediately led into a sharp turn. The turn was a sharp, "C"-shaped curve, before leveling out into a straight path. Before going into another turn which sloped downward. The path then split into two paths, one right and one left. Both sides were filled with mines that appeared as if they were floating in midair. Shortly after both paths joined up again, there was another turn. Then another that sloped downward at a surprisingly steep angle. Then another "C"-shaped turn which led right to the finish line.

The racers gathered at the starting line, as GH and Saffa briefly shelved their conversation. It was strange, as the racers expect to fall or float through this course. Only Broken seemed mildly comfortable with the course, the others, Aloth included, found themselves not really liking it.

FWEEEEEEEEEEEET!!!

And they were off. It was very disconcerting to take a step and feel a solid surface there when you saw nothing but a starry void. It felt unnatural and impossible. But Broken, being the Sorcerer Supreme of this Realm, had witnessed more incomprehensible things than this. You could have said the same of the other RAFians, but Broken has seen magical monsters and effects more bizarre than this.

Broken soon commanded a lead, which was saying something because Cerulean was in this race. But he was disoriented as the others, and Broken was acting like he made a similiar trek before, thus was accustomed to this type of setting. Broken actually won while Cerulean came in a close second. Then Gaz, Abby, Parker and Aloth followed.

"At least he didn't manage to use it this time," GH said, returning to his grousing.

"What? Who use what?" Saffa asked, thoroughly nonplussed.

"Aloth," GH said, "him using that invisible tether, grapple thing."

"Wait a moment," Saffa said, swiftly, "what tether grapple thing?"

"It's something that LH and I saw him have last night," GH explained.

"Doesn't mean he used it," Saffa said, though it was clear that she didn't really believe it. GH looked slowly toward Saffa, who immediately got the message. "Okay, okay. That's stupid, I know. But you know that's the argument that he's going to us, if he's found out."

"Then we will just ask him why he had it on his person in the first place during the race," GH countrred swiftly.

"Unless he's found out outside of the race," Saffa said, sagely.

[guitarhero01234]

Still waiting for my "WHASSUP, ****ES!" moment.

[Cloak]

You'll be waiting awhile then.

And this book will exceed the usual prerequisite twenty chapters, although not by much. And that Cloak isn't actually watching these races (due to IRL me finding races, watching them anyway, boring).

New chapter.

CHAPTER TWENTY:
Track Fourteen -- the Final One

The last track took place just as the sun was beginning its daily descent. This course was fraught with well-hidden columns that extended up at unexpected and unpredictable moments. This course was unique from the others in that had a figure-eight style course, with just one splotch of a deceleration zone, Cerulean's reviled enemy.

The racers lined up on the line, all well aware that this was the last course. Aloth, in particular, gritted his teeth. He apparently labored under the dubious belief that the score only really mattered in this particular race, and the other courses were basically padding. He did not seem to realize the races were cumulative scores, the points gathered were added together, not standalone. But then again, Aloth was never the sharpest tool in the shed.

Aloth had made up his mind. He would not bother to shiv or shank Cerulean, but he would become ruthless with his tether, and use it more often than he used to. He had to win this race. It was very imperative to win. He didn't want to imagine breaking the news to Queen that he had failed. She was livid that Yorick had defied her and went to work for that Jombo or Jumbo or whatever his name was. She was apocalyptic with rage at the perceived betrayal that he didn't bow to her will.

He was afraid what she would do to him if he failed. He feared her wrath, which can be frightful and intimidating. He had to win . . . he just had to!

FWEEEEEEEEEEEET!

And they were off, and Cerulean was in the lead, naturally. Only for Aloth to get lucky and manage to tether him into a deceleration zone, allowing Aloth to get into first place for the moment.

Whenever Aloth got in a bit of trouble with a trap, he tethered one his competitors to switch their place. He tended to choose Cerulean above the others, but missed more often than he succeeded.

He eventually won by a hair. Just by a hair.

"I won?" Aloth asked. Then he realized and he gave a whoop, "I won! I did it! I'm the greatest! Next stop, mod seat! I'm RAF mod for a day!"

[Cloak]

New chapter.

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE:
And the Winner is --

"Uh-uh-uh, Aloth," SuperNate said. "Cerulean won twleve courses out of the fourteen. You just won one."

"What?!" Aloth demanded as the other RAFians, including GH, Leatherhead, and Saffa, evacuated the stands.

"Cerulean is the winner," SuperNate declared, though none of the RAFians were really all that surprised.

"No!" Aloth protested brattily. "I won, fair and square!!"

"FAIR AND SQUARE?!?! HA!!" came the outraged voices of GH, Broken, Abby, Parker, Cerulean, Yarin, and Gaz. "ALOTH, YOU CHEATED!!"

"Hey, who you gonna believe?" Aloth said. "Them or me?"

"Guess," said a surly voice behind him, and had backed up into Cloak. It was the Realm Walker who spoke crankily. As Aloth fell, Cloak had grabbed his tether grapple. Aloth scrambled to his feet as he fled back to the Bannedlands.

Cloak examined the tether, "A bungee rope in a sheath weaved from sphinx and demiguise hair. Invisible to everyone but me."

"Why would even go through all this trouble to begin with?" YeerkSalad said. "Didn't he know the only prize was bragging rights?"

"And fifty karma points," Richard said.

A deafening silence befell everyone present.

"Did I neglect to mention that?" the head mod said, feigning ignorance.

***

"Oh, what am I going to do?" Aloth fretted as he paced in front of Queen's chamber door. Hers was the only room that wasn't in any significant disrepair. "I can't tell Queen that I lost the race. She'll clobber me!"

He pause momentarily before he came up with an idea, "I know! I can tell her that I couldn't be a mod because -- no. That'll never work."

"ALOTH!!" Queen roared his summons.

Aloth didn't hesitate to appear in Queen's spacious room. It actually functioned as a small apartment, with her sleeping area right behind her mskeshift throne, which she sat on grandoisely.

"You c-called, Almighty Queen?" Aloth said, timidly.

"Come closer, Aloth," she said. It sounded less creepy then it would seem. "I have something for you."

"You mean," Aloth said, tentative hope permeating his voice, "you're not mad at me?"

"You did your best, Aloth," she said, getting up from her thone, and crossing to a covered-up item. "And, even though your best wasn't nearly good enough, I'd like to present you with this."

"A present? For me?" Aloth said, not wise enough to see where this was headed. "What is it? What is it?"

Queen removed the tarp to reveal a rather cheap-looking treadmill.

"It looks great! It's just my size, too! It's something that I've always wanted!" Aloth declared. Then he inquired, much quieter, "What is it?"

Queen snarled, "A guarantee!"

Then she threw Aloth down in it, and activated a flamethrower function. "That next time, you will be the winner of the race!! And you have the whole year to practice!"

Yep, Queen was laboring under the false assumption that there was gonna be a race next year. She was bound to be disappointed.

[YeerkSalad]

yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ay

[guitarhero01234]

That was friggin' beautiful