All titles subject to change.
Book MCCCLXI (1,361): "The Priestess" -- The RAFians deal with the Priestess.
New chapter.
CHAPTER NINETEEN:
A Monster Meditation
After the A.R.A. was voted down, Cloak returned to his isolated spot and meditated. It seemed almost easier than normal, as if the very elements he mastered were eager to assist him in this endeavor.
It was then he was hit by a powerful vision, which, of course, had a song in it. He was in his thread, which was quadruple its normal size. And he sensed the oncoming threat, never question where the others were or how these invaders got into the protected forum.
He sang to himself.
"It's finally come.
Come to knock down the door.
I can't hide this time,
Like I hid before."
He felt a tremendous amount of anxiety and trepidation, and was dimly aware of the elements being out of balance and wreaking havoc to all those around. He sang to himself again.
"The tempest is awake.
The danger is real.
My time's running out.
Don't feel, don't feel!"
He was feeling the kind of fear he hadn't truly experienced since his sessions with Aniyu. The fear of losing control over himself and his emotions. He remembered not being too fond of the sensation.
"'Fear will be your enemy
And death, the consequence.'
That's what the Dreams once said to me,
And it's starting to make sense."
Sometimes Truth Dreams were a burden he wished that he could do without. It never alleviated the fear, but generally just escalated those negative feelings. Perhaps Destiny thought she was being helpful, sending those Dreams -- most times, she was not.
"All this pain, all this fear . . .
Began because of me. . . .
Is the thing she would see
The thing I have to be?"
He grasped the side of his wrought iron, four-poster bed frame, lined with the same fabric that his cloak was made from, and was not easy to obtain.
"A monster, are they right?
Has the dark in me finally come to light?
Am I a monster, full of rage?
Nowhere to go, but on a rampage?
Or am I just a monster, in a cage?"
He heard an ensemble sing, and he somehow knew they were Realm Walkers. An unicorn, a bear, a leopard, a vixen, a snake, and a goat. All in Councilor regalia -- the
first Council regalia. They sang:
"End this havoc.
Bring back the status quo.
Keep your guard up!"
Then he heard his own mother, Ursa the Critic:
"No harm comes to him!"
He highly doubted that she said that because of motherly love. He wasn't sure if she could ever truly feel such an emotion. Then the six ancient Councilors sang:
"End this havoc.
Bring back the status quo.
Keep your guard up!"
He was feeling rather like a trapped animal. Alone, scared, . . . and dangerous. He sang to himself:
"What do I do?
No time for crying now.
I started a tempest.
Gotta stop it somehow."
Fear and his sense of responsibility were now at war within him, as he sang to himself:
"Do I keep running?
How far do I have to go?
And would that take the tempest away?
Or only make it grow?"
Then guilt decided to have a word in this war of emotions within the RAFian Realm Walker
"I'm making my world harsher.
How long can it survive?
Is everyone in danger
As long as I'm alive?"
It was quickly becoming a toxic sort of ****tail, these emotions. He continued to sing to himself:
"Was I a monster from the start?
How did I end up with this stone heart?
Bringing devastation to the stage.
Caught in a conflict that I never meant to wage.
Do I kill the monster?"
He was engaging in self-pity, and he knew it perfectly well, but he didn't know what to do. He appealed to the memory of his aunt, Wheeza, and sang, pleadingly and imploringly:
"Wheeza, you know what's best for me . . .
If I die, will they be free?
Wheeza, what if after I'm gone,
The tempest gets harsher, and it rages on?"
In his ears, he could hear his departed aunt's words -- "
AND THEN WHAT?! You never think these things through!! It's time for you to look inward
and ask yourself the big questions. Who are YOU
? And what do YOU
want?"
He smiled a small smile at the thought, and decided, as he sang to himself:
"I have to stay alive.
To undo what has been done.
Save the world from myself,
And bring back the fun.
If I'm a monster, and it's true --
(End this havoc, bring back the status quo!)
Then there's only one thing that's left for me to do.
(Keep your guard up!)
But, before I fade to white,
(End this havoc, bring back the status quo!)
I'll do all that I can to make things right.
(Keep your guard up . . . !)"
Then he left his thread to confront his mother and these ancient Councilors. He sang to himself:
"I can't be a monster.
I won't be a monster.
Not tonight!"
The ancient Councilors declared their disagreement:
"Monster!"
This is when the vision decided to end, and Cloak awoke as if coming out of a reverie. Was it a vision or just a dream? Or was it a Truth Dream sent to him from Destiny? . . . He sincerely hoped that it wasn't the latter. Despite her genial, affable demeanor when he met his oldest ancestor -- on either side of his family -- she still terrified him. He could sometimes feel her power . . . and it terrified him.
He never thought he would meet anyone more frightening to him than his own mother. But then he met Destiny, and burned her Diary into ashes.
SOURCE SONG: https://youtube.com/watch?v=X-L40JAuaGU