New chapter.
CHAPTER TWO:
Criminal Vanishing Acts
There was a prestigious, large bank that was really the Muggle variation of Gringotts, and it stood proudly, almost daring thieves to steal from it. It's bright, clear, white marble edifice was an intimidating fortress to penetrate. Most petty thieves would never consider breaking into this behemoth of a currency and valuable depository. The bank personnel had what could be termed the "Titanic mentality", believing their security so extensive and thorough that robbing it would be a virtual impossibility.
Such hubris was dangerous. It was literally asking for some intrepid criminal to defy their lofty expectations. Many of the more ambitious criminal would see it as a challenge, and nothing -- NOTHING -- was ever foolproof. People, even people in security, can get complacent and let their guard down. Nothing was ever impenetrable. And no one could stay absolutely vigilant.
As it would happen, someone
did manage to break into the bank. Particularly the offices. The perpetrator clearly didn't know their way around the place, as they bumbled around and were quickly caught on tape. It appeared that they were wearing a cloak, or a hooded trench coat of some sort. It was difficult, nigh on impossible, to make out anything else about this perpetrator. It just bore a superficial resemblance to . . .
Then it was gone. As if the subject . . . Disapparated. But there wasn't any popping sound, like which usually accompanied Disapparation. The security cameras didn't only record full-color video, it recorded high-quality audio. Only there wasn't any audio to record when the perpetrator had appeared and vanished. There was some similar to how a --
Suddenly, the security cameras picked up the suspicious individual inside the vault itself. There were boxes that stored the money, but they weren't locked. The bank personnel haven't been locking them for ages, being far too complacent about the other security systems in place to deter or catch any prospective thief. Their security systems
were state of the art -- but that didn't mean that they were impenetrable. State of the art systems are useless when human error and human complacency and human hubris are not taken into account. Not to mention the tendency that humans (and other sentient species) have towards laziness and cutting corners.
The perpetrator was filling up a bag (which had a very convenient black "$" painted on two sides of it, as if this was a cartoon or something) with various valuables. He wasn't being picky, either. He was taking small denomination notes as well as the large denomination ones. He was roughly shoving them into the bag, with all the deftness of a blind man with his hands cut off.
Once the bag was full, he vanished. And it really looked like the way a Walker Walked.
***
GH was sitting at a cafe, sipping some coffee, reading a newspaper whose headline was saying something about killer animatronics and murderous mascots. Then that girl . . . he thought her name was Amber . . . came prancing up to him singing:
"Been thinkin' for a while
And there's somethin'
I gotta tell you . . ."
"Eh, I'm kinda busy." GH said, sipping his coffee, trying to brush her off. He wasn't interested in her the same way she was interested in him.
"Been thinkin' that our love
For each other has grown so very strong."
GH gagged on his coffee and dropped the mug, taken aback, "Love? Wait --"
"It's plain to see
We're building
Our worlds together."
She was much too close to him now. He felt incredibly uncomfortable. "Uh, back off for a minute."
"I'm looking at your eyes right now
And I can tell you feel the same --"
Then she roughly glomped GH, who cried out, "You're choking me!"
"We are in love!"
GH sang himself:
"I think I'm gonna run away . . ."
This obsessive woman sang:
"We are in love!"
GH ran to his thread, and shut the door. Then he held his back to the door, breathing heavily and fearfully. Then he pulled his phone out, and sung:
"Did you tap my phonelines?!"
She sang through his phone:
"We're in love!
Yes, I tapped your phonelines."
GH sang, almost placatingly and sycophantically..
"I won't lie,
You're a very pretty lady."
This girl -- GH was about 49% sure that her name was Amber -- said, taking immense pleasure, "Thank you!"
But when she opened her eyes again, GH was gone. He was running away.
"But you're crazy, crazy, crazy . . .
You make me wanna move to Bolivia!"
She replied excitedly, "I'll go with you!"
GH sang, as the scene fast forwarded into a scene right out of Psycho.
"You know, I'm thinkin'
I should get a restrainin' order."
She replied, "Those are so hard to enforce."
Yeah, 'coz
that wasn't creepy at all.
GH sang:
"Your car was parked
Outside my thread
Every night this week!"
She said, in a complete non sequitor, "Your neighbors are sweet."
GH sang, in an accusatory tone:
"You're the reason why I have
To keep my shades drawn!"
She declared, "I'll watch you through the chimney!"
GH didn't even have a chimney.
GH announced:
"I've installed an alarm system
With motion-beam detectors."
She revealed, "I have the code.
We are in love."
GH asked, as he ran to hide in a closet:
"Give me just five minutes."
GH turned on the light in the closet, to find this girl there, singing:
"We are in love.
I think that was five minutes.
We are in love."
GH burst out of the closet and what he saw caused him to feel rather downcast.
"Did you just move in with me?"
She was wearing a frilly, pink apron with an oven mitt holding a pan of cupcakes with pink icing.
"We are in love.
Yes, I just moved in with you.
We are in love"
.
GH had really had enough of this now. He roared, which seemingly shattered reality:
"NO -- WE'RE -- NOT!!!"
Then he jerked awake, which somehow didn't rouse Leatherhead. He had fallen asleep in his human suit. He loved that thing as a child loves their play suits. GH tried to calm down. Tried to slow his breathing.
That girl again. That girl who could never take a hint . . .
SOURCE SONG: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=puYJ0Ojp5cI