Memoirs of a RAFian

[guitarhero01234]

I doubt it

"Shaw," Malice said contacting her very favorite pet, "belay the last order, and head to the city. Kill as many of the populace there as you can. Do not hesitate. Do not succumb to compassion. Kill. Every. Last. One."

[redtailedsaffa]

Oh right, completely forgot about that. Was reading the chapter in a horribly boring lecture.

[Cloak]

Yep.

New chapter. Sorry about the brevity.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN:
Joined Up

"Why did he decide to stop beating on us?" GH said, cracking his neck as he returned his guitar to its guitar form, and strapped it over his back. "Not that I'm complaining, mind you."

"It got new orders," Cloak said, flicking his right ear beneath the hood of his cloak. "I couldn't hear the specifics, but I'm sure that I heard Malice's voice."

"Have you guys noticed just which direction that it was headed?" Aquilai sighed.

"What about it?" Saffa asked.

Abby's eyes widened. "The city. It's heading for the city!"

"What?" GH said, reasonably alarmed. "If it goes there, then it . . . it could very well . . ."

"Kill every single resident of that city," Cloak supplied, a bit more blunt than he intended. "And it will the mercy and compassion of a Dementor."

"I thought they didn't have any," GH said.

"Precisely," the Realm Walker retorted.

"It's getting away," Abby pointed out.

"Well, then we should follow it, then," Shadow said, out of nowhere.

"Shadow!" Cloak said, rushing to his neice's side. "You escaped Malice!"

"Hey, I can take care of myself." Shadow smirked cheekily. "Besides, Malice isn't as smart as she thinks she is."

"I've been saying that for a while," Cloak noted.

"While this reunion is tearjerking and all," Saffa interjected, "this Shaw thing is getting away, and it has enough power to just murder everyone in the city. We need to get a move on!"

"I thought Malice was insane," Shadow commented, as they moved, as one, toward the city. Cue the "X-Men" theme song. "I guess this proves it."

[Cloak]

Oh, and now this is the second-most viewed thread. Beating out "Totally Random Thoughts". For the moment.

New chapter.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN:
Panic in the Streets

Shaw had made it to the city before the RAFians, just as the last rays of the sun were going to be extinguished for the night. The street lamps were all on, and the primary source of illumination.

Shaw ambled and shuffled slowly to the threshold of the city, where rural met urban. It had taken Malice's orders to mean only the urban places, and so, disregarded the suburbs. The thing about Gossamer was that they weren't very fast, unless they were scared, but they could cover ground reasonably well.

Had Shaw been at his normal, default size, he might have been dismissed as a person in a costume, like those mascots on Times Square or the like. Though that would be a novelty here, as people didn't really do that -- well, outside of Halloween, that is.

But he wasn't at his default size, but he was noticeably smaller than what he when he was battling the RAFians. He had expended more energy than he took in. Thereby, shrinking bodily, and the control collar with him. He still wore the remnants of the telebracers on his wrist, with them shifting to match his mass.

And one would think the denizens of the city would have been used to such occurrences by now. But there they were. Panicking and fleeing from the twelve-foot monster, who did not roar and attack until it crossed the threshold into the city. Again, the question of just why these people decided to make a home in a city in which such things are becoming increasingly commonplace, despite the dirt-cheap rent.

It proceeded to to try to seize a victim to kill with its massive arms and rend them, unsuccessfully, with its pointed, human-like nails. But the fact of the matter is Gossamer weren't really a predatory species, and not exactly equipped for killing humans in any other way than bludgeoning to death or by ascending to a massive size and using that size to crush them.

But then it came across a barrier in the form of a sudden earth wall. It wasn't too bright, as it walked directly into the said wall. It managed to absorb the kinetic impact of that and grew half a foot, but the wall did not deteriorate at all. And it was surprised to discover that its feet and legs were thorughly encased in ice. They were made immobile.

"Not so fast, buddrow," Shadow said.

"You were going to murder people," Cloak said, as GH returned his guitar from its hoverbike form, and back into his axe form. "We cannot permit this."

The Gossamer's eyes were blank, which kind of ruined the drama of this entrance.

[guitarhero01234]

Oh, and now this is the second-most viewed thread. Beating out "Totally Random Thoughts". For the moment.

Holy **** man, that is awesome!

[Cloak]

Thanks! The only one with more views is a thread that I guess is somewhat defunct. Something about the GESB.

New chapter.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN:
A Simple Solution

"Um, Cloak?" Aquilai asked. "How are we going to defeat when it has already been established that we can't without making either energy or kinetic impacts?"

"Kinda making this up as I fo along," Cloak confessed.

"Yeah, those kind of plans always work," Saffa said, with unintentional acidic tones.

"You got something better?" Cloak replied in kind.

Saffa blinked. "Well, that shut me up."

Cloak couldn't tell if she was being sarcastic or not. He had decided that they had more present problems to deal with to worry about something like that.

"Wait, you haven't tried --" Shadow began, before acrobatically dodging an attack from Shaw. Apparently, it had been given permission to kill the RAFians or he interpreted his orders as if they applied the RAFians as well, now that they were in the confines of the city.

The RAFians scrambled to dodging it, afraid to fight back and giving the Gossamer more energy, kinetic or otherwise. Cloak was seriously considering allowing himself to debase himself and steep to the point of using . . . those two abilities. Those two awful abilities that he had never used before, but had a sneaking suspicion that he could use . . .

"Guys! The solution is simple! All we need --"

Shadow had to dodge again, this time by rolling. Shaw was moving too slow and sluggish to even really match Shadow's speed, agility and dexterity.

Cloak found himself seriously considering bloodbending -- an ability used to manipulate the water within a living body and able to manipulate the bodies of the victim, basically the organic variant of metalbending -- and breathbending -- the ability to aerokinetically pull the breath out of someone's lungs, usually involving of creating a vacuum around the victim's head. Both very dark abilities. Cloak gave himself a very strong mental slap. How could he even be considering using such abilities? He didn't even know if he could do them. Especially as blodbending usually requires there to be a full moon.

"There's a simple solution to all of this," Shadow said. "All GH --"

She had to dodge once more by somersaulting out of the way, a bit miffed at being unable to finish her thought.

"WILL YOU STOP DOING THAT?!" Shadow shouted, a simian shriek interminged with her words.

[redtailedsaffa]

It's a bit hard to beat Totally Random Thoughts.

[Cloak]

Exactly.

I don't expect to keep it come next RAFparty.

New chapter.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN:
Play On, Little GH, Play On!

"Wait a minute, Shadow!" GH said. "'All me' what?"

"All you have to do is," Shadow said, determined not to be interrupted now, "is play."

"Play? What on earth are you --"

"Music!" Shadow said, in almost comical exasperation. "Use that guitar of yours for its intended purpose!!"

"Oh." he replied, returning his guitar to its default form. "Why didn't I think of that?"

"Just hurry up and play!" Saffa said, as Shaw nearly grabbed her by her hair. "This thing is seriously working my last nerve!"

GH strummed a bit, think of a song to play . . .

"I moved up the city recently,
Where the Banned and trolls dream.
Wanna infiltrate some Knightly place,
And topple their regime.
Those men in armor with matching suitcases
Where everything's on a need-to-know basis.
Knights got that swagger.
Everyone with a broken dagger.
I'm really kind of nervous.
But I'm really kinda wishin'
For an undercover mission.
Because when that red alert came on the radio
And I put my communicator on,
Got dark sunglasses on,
And I have my guitar drawn.
Gonna get my sunglasses,
Chill pills, some classified dossier.
Tapping the phones, like yea.
Shredding papers, like yea.
Got my eyes right on
The enemy guys
I got to neutralize today.
Yeah . . . It's a party in the RAF today.
Yeah . . . It's a party in the RAF today.
Tim done a couple of crazy things
That almost got him dismissed.
Like terminate some aliens
That weren't even on the list.
Burn that microfilm, buddy, will you?
I'd tell you why, but then I'd have to kill you.
You need a trollish confession?
We can start a Bieber session.
No hurry on the billionaire dictator,
We'll deal with 'em later.
'Coz when she walks into my laser sights
And the silencer was on.
And the silencer was on.
And another target was gone.
Yeah, We got RAF Ops
All over the world.
Interrogating the scum of the earth,
We'll break them by the break of day.
Yeah . . . It's a party in the RAF today.
Yeah . . . It's a party in the RAF today.
Need a city to stabilize?
Look no further!
We're your guys!
We got snazzy suits and ties.
And a better dental plan than the MIB guys!
You better put your hands up and get into the van,
Or else you'll get blown away!
Stickin' to 'em, like yea.
Unbrainwashin' 'em, like yea.
Laying beatdowns' the folks we don't like
You're probably gonna be okay.
Yeah . . . It's a party in the RAF today.
Yeah . . . It's a party in the RAF today."

"I'm not sure if that was an appropriate song choice," Abby said.

"Unless you're gonna give me a Grammy, I don't care," GH replied flippantly.

"The point is," Cloak said, trying to defuse any escalation, "that it worked."

[guitarhero01234]

... Did I just defeat an alien with a Miley Cyrus parody?

[Cloak]

No! A song adaptation of a Weird Al parody of a Miley Cyrus song.

New chapter.

CHAPTER NINETEEN:
You're So Tiny!

"It's so tiny!" Shadow cooed.

"It looks so adorable!" Abby joined in.

"Forget it," GH and Cloak said in unison.

"What?" Abby said.

"But, un-CULL . . ." Shadow said, trying the whole "batting-eyes" schtick.

"You are not keeping it," Cloak said, scrutinizing the Gossamer who was a few feet tall, roughly two feet. The remenants of the telebracers had tumbled off with a clunk, with the control collar falling off moments later. "We don't another ordeal like with the Taxxon."

"I was a kid!" Shadow protested. "I didn't know they were sentient!"

"Shadow, it was a humongous worm with many legs." Cloak said. "I don't understand the attraction."

"It was hurt," she said mulishly. "It needed my help."

"Shadow, I told you of their cannibalistic nature will quickly devolve into autophagia given the opportunity."

"How do you expect her to understand that?" GH said. "I barely did."

"Given the chance Taxxons will eat themselves," Cloak said, "given into their Sisyphian hunger."

"Must you always use big words?" Saffa said, a mischievous smile playing around her face.

"Ugh." Cloak said, deciding to change the subject. "We need to find a way to bring this little guy back to his home."

"And that would be?" Abby asked.

"I dunno," Cloak said. "I've never met these creatures before. . . . In this realm."

"What do you mean by that?" Saffa said, quickly observing Cloak's choice of words. "'In this realm'?"

"A lot of realms have, well, what you might call species redundancies. Nearly all of the realms that I have been to tended have a species of human in it. For what reason, I cannot say." Cloak explained. "But the very nature of the realms can vary from one to the other. The ones I've been to have been very similar, I'd admit."

"He's so cute," Abby said affectionately, referencing the Gossamer, who was asleep whilst standing up on its little tennis shoe-like feet. "Especially when he isn't being controlled by a megalomaniacal Realm Walker."

"You keep saying the realms that you've been to," GH said, "haven't you been to them all yet?"

Shadow giggled a bit at that, while Cloak replied seriously, "GH, that's an impossibility. There are more realms than there are stars in your sky. By a wide margin. No Realm Walker has seen them all, at least none in recorded Walker history."

"Oh."

"I think that I can bring this little guy home, using my TARDIS." Aquilai said, thoughtfully. "I managed to pry the coordinates from those bracer devices. I assume that they're a teleportation devices."

"Telebracers. Yes, they are."

"Right," Aquilai nodded. "Just as I suspected then. These coordinates are probably the location of this little fellow's home. I will just take him there, straight away."

"Take GH with you," Cloak said. "In case of Shaw, as Malice called him, decides to get big again."

[guitarhero01234]

So, wait, how exactly did that song shrink Shaw down?

[Cloak]

It was actually constantly expending energy, only when it was attacking it was able to recoup the energy lost. The song prevented it from attacking, because it was enjoying it. So it shrank down. The reason that it was smaller than normal was because, well, it expended more energy than it usually does.

. . .

It makes sense! I assure you it does!

[guitarhero01234]

But how could ANYTHING enjoy a Miley Cyrus track? Let alone ME doing one?

[Cloak]

Technically, it was a Weird Al track. He's a bit like Rumplestiltskin, he can turn anything into gold.

New chapter.

CHAPTER TWENTY:
Efficiency and Antics

"I still cannot believe that worked," GH said, as he went into Aquilai's TARDIS. He carried the Gossamer in an adequate cage made of a vibranium alloy, that had a touch of tylee metal in it.

"Come, GH! Time's a-wasting!!" Aquilai prompted.

"Isn't this a time machine?" GH countered. "Doesn't that mean we can take our time, arrive there in no time? Literally no time?"

"It's a time machine and a spacecraft, in the fact that it can be any time and any place, it's true," Aquilai said. "Just get a move on! I don't want to lose the coordinates."

GH sighed, as he hustled, and said, "Fine."

They were gone and then they returned five minutes later. With GH and Aquilai looking as if no time passed, but Saffa decided to have a little fun.

"What took you two so long?!"

"What? We were only gone for like two minutes." Aquilai said.

"No, it's been twenty years!" Saffa contradicted.

"Then why do you look exactly the same?" GH said, shrewdly.

"Oh, uh, future technology?" she said, obviously making it up on the fly.

"Suuuuure," GH replied.

"Dang it," Saffa said, smirking.

***

"Freddy!" Estelore called out in a stellar language. "Freddy! Freddy! Where the devil are you?!"

Freddy was really grinding her last nerve. She was really tiring over his "games", as he called it. The wishing star lie . . . he tried it again on numerous occasions, only to have each one fail due to the interference of his "Aunty Estelore".

Freddy was frustrated with her as well, for routinely spoiling his fun. What did he care if the stupid natives actually thought that wishing stars was a thing? It was funny to see them to wish with all their hearts for something that they don't get. He enjoyed crushing their hopes and dreams like that. Sure, it was cruel, but he was given leeway because he was a child (though the truth was because the natives could do nothing to stop him, as he never played his "games" with any civilizations that could pose even the most minute of threats to him.

But Estelore was the only one who simply would not allow him any leeway for his antics. She would not accept his excuses, she would not leave him alone. She would no t leave him to his games.

Then he discovered some strange phenomena: several space-borne mycorrhizoid spores, presented as small, icy ovoids. They were all free-floating around some barren rock in the Rukbat system, in the Oort Cloud.

Freddy, had he not been in star form, he would have smiled a smile of malicious mischievousness. This was not a good sign. . . .

[redtailedsaffa]

Oh god, I actually sang the damn song.