Memoirs of a RAFian

[Cloak]

Okay, I'm currently planning my way through "RAFology".

New chapter.
 

CHAPTER THIRTEEN:
Parker Jumps the Gun Just a Bit

"How many more of these 'Fiendgas' things do we have take care of?" Cloak said, nettled.

"Tired, Uncle?"

"More like annoyed," Cloak replied swiftly.

"There's the next one," Underseen said, pointing.

"Let's get this over with," Cloak grumbled grumpily.

"Yes," Parker said, taking aim. "Let's."

Parker shot the device, befoe the bullhorn could play the Joke Meister's voice, before it could play his taunts. At first, it appeared to have also eliminated the "Fiendgas".

"And that's that," Parker said, getting rather dangerously complacent.

With a loud, angry hiss, green "Fiendgas" steamed up from the wreckage. Parker's face was concealed by his helmet, but Cloak suspected he had a slightly mollified look his face. Cloak decided not to press the point with him.

The "Fiendgas" curled and shifted into mammalian shapes, but the RAFians (and Shadow) weren't particularly fearful. But the way the "Fiendgas" undulated and writhed, Cloak came to a realization.

"It's not just  'Fiendgas'," Cloak said, shrewdly. "It's somehow transmuted into Joker gas. Don't inhale!"

He turned to his niece, and said, "Shadow?"

"I'm ready," she replied.

This time it wasn't just enough to dispell the gas, but dissipate it so that it wouldn't harm any innocents. It wouldn't be a display of power, but one of control, of finesse, of aerokinetic dexterity. It would be a challenge.

It took the better part of twenty minutes for the both of them to successfully neutralize the threat.

"Well, Uncle," Shadow said, worn and tired, "you wanted them to be a challenge."

"The phrase 'be careful what you wish for' comes to mind," Cloak said.

"So he put Joker gas in the last one --well, assuming that it was the last one." Underseen said. "I mean, since he did that, it clearly means that it was the last one."

A beat passed.

"Right?"

[redtailedsaffa]

Of course not.

[Cloak]

Don't be so sure, Saffa.

New chapter.
 

CHAPTER FOURTEEN:
A Lull in the Action

"Not necessarily, Underseen," Cloak said, thoughtfully pensive, "it could have been a failsafe. To be sure that we didn't just go ahead and obliterate the devices before Laughing Boy got his say."

Cloak could almost hear Joke Meister yelling that his name was "Joke Meister", much like whenever someone brings up Yarin's microwave. Cloak dismissed it as that.

"While you very well may be correct, Underseen," Cloak continued, "the fact is that we just won't know for a fact if that's why there was Joker gas in this one. I doubt Laughing Boy would have told us straight out. He's clearly insane, and worse, murderous. We must take care with what we do next."

"Oh, I was just going to suggest that we go in there wearing boxers on our head, screaming like lunatics," Parker said, dryly.

"There is the problem of where this lunatic is," Shadow pointed out. "Uncle and I can't Earthsight the psycho, so that must mean that he's not on earth."

"Or simply not in our Earthsight radiuses," Cloak said. "In any case, we should make our next step soon."

But Parker had stopped paying attention, and was eyeing something in the distance. He stood stock still trying to discern it, but decided that he needed to switch to an armor with far better telescopic viewing tech. He blinked, as if he couldn't quite believe what he was seeing.

Cloak was of enough sound mind to query about this sudden reaction.

"There!" Parker said, pointing at what appeared to be a pinprick in the distance. But it was rapidly approaching.

"Is that what I think it was?" Underseen asked.

"Deflating Drifblims!" Cloak shouted, as a shortened "Sam & Max"-ism.

"Uncle, that was corny."

"Never mind! No wonder we couldn't Earthsight him!" her uncle replied. "You were right, Shadow! He wasn't even touching the earth!"

"But . . . but how would he even know to do that? I was under the impression that it was not yet common knowledge for those outside RAF." said Underseen. "I mean, if it was someone we fought against regularly, then sure, it might be conceivable."

"I think the more pertinent question is," Parker said, eyes not leaving the spot where they spied this perverted prankster, "where he got the hot air balloon he's flying."

"Uh, guys, he's not flying it," Shadow said, noticing the erratic movements and the illogical increase in speed. "He's crashing it!"

[redtailedsaffa]

FOOD YIELD INCREASER!

[guitarhero01234]

I'm now going to start yelling "Deflating Drifblims!" at regular intervals. Either that or "Divebombing Dragonites!"

[Cloak]

New chapter.
 

CHAPTER FIFTEEN:
Face to Face

"And it's coming right for us!" Shadow added.

"Your trajectory is a bit off, Shadow," Parker said, stoically. "If he continues at this pace, with no interuptions or discrepancies or the like, he should land approximately six feet from here. At two o'clock."

"But it's six twenty-four," Underseen said.

"That," Cloak said, "is an old joke, even by Realm Walker standards."

"It wasn't a j-- oh, never mind. You're not buying it." Underseen said, with a wary shrug. "Are we even sure Laughing Boy is even in there?"

"It's Joke Meister!" came a small, faint, but clearly annoyed and irritated voice.

"Answer your question?" Cloak said.

"Yes," Underseen said, clearly having not heard Joke Meister's angry protestation, "I'd like an answer to my question."

"You didn't hear him then," Cloak said, sighing heavily. Cloak sometimes forgot that not all of his RAFian fellows had feline hearing as he did. "He is on that balloon. He heard you call him Laughing Boy. As you will remember, he did really care for that nomme de plume."

"Oh, wonderful," Underseen said.

CRASH!!!

"You were off, Parker." Cloak said, conversationally. "That's seven feet away."

"So sue me."

"With this country, that's probably entirely possible." Underseen said, uncharacteristicall y jaded. And that was Cloak's shtick.

"For the last time," Joke Meister growled, which easily transmogrified into a psychotic laugh, "it . . . is . . . Joke . . . MEISTER!!"

"Like it matters," Cloak said, terrakinetically moving slabs of earth that pinioned his arms to his sides. "You are at our mercy now, you clownish cretin. You can do nothing more to harm anyone anymore."

"You found all twenty-five bombs already, then?" he said, with only the mildest of shock. "Well, bravo, dear Protagonists. You're better than I thought."

[redtailedsaffa]

Surely that wasn't twenty five.

[Cloak]

Technically, we haven't even found one. I'd say more but, alas, spoilers.

Anyway, new book ideas.

• Book DCCVI: "Abject Compliance" -- The RAFians must deal with compliance chips manufactured by an enemy.
• Book DCCVII: "Blackest Night" -- A continuation of "The Last RAFian" (thus out-of-continuity), the New RAFians must deal with Black Lantern RAFians.
• Book DCCVIII: "Brightest Day" -- A continuation of the last book (thus out-of-continuity as well), the New RAFians must protect the Entity from the mechanisms of the Black Lanterns.
• Book DCCIX: "Guitarhero Time!" -- GH encounters an old flame . . . who wants him dead.

There. All titles are subject to change. Let me know what you think.

[guitarhero01234]

Hmmmmm, I guess I'm excited for book DCCIX. I only have to wait a few hundred books!

[redtailedsaffa]

But if I remember correctly from "The Last RAFian", the White Lanterns already got rid of that problem.

[Cloak]

Nah. Different book, Saffa. I think that the one that you're thinking of was in the main continuity.

Disclaimer: it might get a little dark in this chapter. New chapter.
 

CHAPTER SIXTEEN:
New Crisis

"What bombs?" Parker said at once.

"Oh? You didn't know already?" the Joke Meister said. "Oh, poo. I spoiled the surprise!"

"Relax, Parker. We must have knocked out at least six or seven of them already." Underseen said.

"Oh, really? Then whatcha doing in the forest?" he said, with mock curiosity and childlike tone of voice.

"That's where they were." Shadow said.

Then that switch in this madman's head was flipped from campily childlike to maliciously malevolent psychopath. "They're in the city, my Protagonist dumplin'."

"Where?" Parker said at once.

"Oh, come on, Protagonist!" Joke Meister chided with a deep-throated laugh. "You wouldn't want me to spoil the -- ugh!"

Parker, despite being roughly the same size as the Joke Meister, grasped his throat very firmly and very tightly.

"I asked you 'where'. Now TALK!!"

Cloak was quick on the uptake. "You know, you had better listen to him. You don't want to be a target when he's in one of his rages."

"What are you tal-- oof!" Underseen began before Shadow elbowed him in his ribs.

But the Joke Meister was already wise to this little good cop, bad cop deal.

"First time being the bad cop?" he said, flippantly addressing Parker. "Or is your first time being good cop?"

"Tell us what we want to know," Parker threatened. Then he pressed the tips of the fusion cannons that he wielded on this other arm to Joke Meister's head, which was grinning unconcernedly. "Tell us, or I'll get sarcastic."

"And do what?" Joke Meister said, calling Parker's bluff. ""Crushing my windpipe, asphyxiating me slowly? Decorating these lovely woods with my gray matter? Well, go on and do it buddy boy, let's see if you've the balls."

"Tell us --"

"Or what?" the Joke Meister said, cackling victoriously. "You'll kill me? Well, then how will you know where they are then, if I'm dead?"

[guitarhero01234]

Really love this chapter. It's pretty interesting to see Laughing Boy not - er, laughing for once.
Serious question, do you actually have over 700 book ideas for this? If so, I certainly applaud you for having even planned that much out.

[Cloak]

Yes, GH.

There are ideas for 709 books (although, I just got done with planning out the chapters of Book CDXXV ("The Forbidden Ones") -- which I do right before work, when I'm waiting to clock in, and during my lunch break). This doesn't mean that I rigidly follow these brief chapter synopses, as I sometimes deviate from them considerably.

For instance, you know the book dealing with the progeny of Garrotik? In the chapter synopses that book was half as long as it turned out to be.

[guitarhero01234]

*Applauds*
That is some crazy devotion right there.

[Cloak]

*shrug* It's my therapy, as funny as that may sound. And, a lot of the time, I would just be staring at the wall, bored to death, if I didn't have this to work on before I clock in and at lunch break. And I try to post a minimum of one chapter every day. I don't always succeed now (being a housekeeper at what essentially is retirement home, of sorts, is a more tiring job then most people give it credit for).

In fact, not to sound immodest, I think that this is the longest ongoing fanfic here, not to mention the longest one in terms of thread length. . . . Which is why it may be daunting for new readers to just dive into, as some books reference previous events, and thus major spoilers of past books.

Which is one reason that that I can't reveal the title of the current book I'm planning out in its entirety ("Search For [spoiler!]"). Well, that, and Saffa would figuratively beat me over the head with an iron skillet.

New chapter.
 

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN:
A Plan Unspoken

"Tick-tock, dear Protagonists!" Joke Meister said, with an abrupt return to his campy, goofy, but still malicious, attitude. "The clock's still running!"

"We're well aware." Cloak said, as none of the four made a move toward the city. This seemed to momentarily stymie the Joke Meister. This wasn't a part of his gloriously elegant scheme. It didn't make sense.

Silence stretched between the five as the seconds ticked away. Joke Meister was getting more confused and perplexed by the minute. These people were supposed to be the great heroes, and now they were just going to sacrifice the city for his self-admitted insane ambitions? It didn't make any sense!! Even to his own unhinged mind!

And still no one said anything!!

There was no possible humor that a mind even as deranged as the Joke Meister could find in this. These so-called heroes were going to leave the denizens of the city to die! They would die laughing from the Joker gas inside the bombs, sure, but they would die just the same!!

There was no fun in this. There was no good times to be had. How could these heroes, these Protagonists, be so heartless? How could they be so much crueler than Joke Meister? The mad clown was aghast and speechless at the sheer audacity. They were upstaging him! He was supposed to be the villain here!! They were stealing his thunder!!!

"WHY ARE YOU JUST STANDING THERE?!" Joke Meister exploded, when he could not stand the silence any longer. "DON'T YOU REAL THAT YOU WASTED AN HOUR OF TIME?! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE HEROES!!!"

The RAFians ignored this. All four looked unconcerned. If anything, they looked bored!! This incensed the crazed clown to an immense degree. How could they be so indifferent?! Especially about his magnum opus joke?! The gall!! The blasphemy!! His permanently etched grin was changed from one of genocidal jocularity to one of the utmost rage.

"I'M THE VILLAIN HERE!!! ME!!! HEAR ME?!?!" he raged.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Cloak said, indifferently. Then Cloak noticed the stoneless ring on the Joke Meister's hand. He put two and two together. "So, that's where it went."

"DON'T YOU DARE TALK TO ME IN SUCH A DISRESPECTFUL WAY!!" Joke Meister shouted.

Cloak was about to repond, but his 3DS-like communicator alerted him to an incoming message. He took it, and the image of Cerulean's head was holographically projected from the screen.

"Got'em, Cerulean?"