Memoirs of a RAFian

[redtailedsaffa]

Cloaky your signature.

[Cloak]

Eh, I was tired.

I might post a chapter before work, but I wouldn't give your hopes up. Oh, and over 200 pages now . . . is that a record? For a RAFian fanfic, I mean.

[redtailedsaffa]

I'm guessing it is. But as the song goes, this is the fanfic that never ends...

[Shenmue654]

Demos really has too many problems. He can't catch a break for like thirty seconds. XD

Also, yaaay I'm making appearances now!

Also, you know you have problems when the first thought you have upon reading about an Ursula-like demon whose name includes the first half of your screen name is of getting awkwardly possessed by it. :p Or it attempting to do so but unexpectedly getting thrown out. x3

[redtailedsaffa]

Haha. Ooh, and Shen, I have PDFs of all his previous books if you want.

[Cloak]

It's actually a combination of "Shendu" from "The Jackie Chan Adventures" and "Necron" of DC Comics, Shenmue.

I'll post another chapter, after I finish my dinner.

And here we go.

CHAPTER SEVEN:
Talk, Demon!

"Okay, what's up with you?" Sakki said, addressing Demos.

"Huh?"

"Don't 'huh' me, buddrow." Sakki said, shrewdly. "You heard me. Now answer the question."

"Wh-what question?"

"Don't make me hurt you," Sakki said, with narrowed eyes. It was an idle threat, but Demos knew there was really no point in keeping up the pretext. Sakki doesn't get distracted easily, especially when she noticed something like Demos's reaction to the head troll's body armor. "You created that armor, didn't you?"

Demos was taken aback by this, and frankly, felt a little insulted. "No, I most certainly did not!"

Sakki took the indignation in his voice as proof of sincerity. But she wasn't done yet. "But you obviously recognized something about it -- oh, you just knock that off. Get over here and tell me who made it."

"I dunno," Demos said. Then he quelled under the fearsome glare Sakki gave him. "Okay, okay! Put that look away!"

Sakki acquiesced, and Demos took a deep breath.

"The creator of that armor was my half-brother. Shenecron."

"You have a brother?"

"A half-brother." Demos clarified mulishly. "We . . . don't get along."

"He does sloppy work," Sakki said.

"I would agree," Demos said, hesitantly.

"But . . ." Sakki said, gyrating her right hand in a "hurry-up" gesture.

"But," Demos said, giving into Sakki's subtle prompting, "I think it was deliberate."

"Deliberate?" Sakki said, genuinely surprised. "Why?"

Demos looked directly at Sakki, full in the face. "Why? To send me a message. A message saying that he knows of my affliation with RAF. That I am RAFian."

"Why would that be such a big deal?"

"He probably thinks that I've gone soft."

Sakki snapped into action mode, "You've got to tell the others. They've a right to know."

[redtailedsaffa]

Hehe. Old married couple bicker.

[theyoungphoenix]

Haha. Totally. ^^

[Shenmue654]

They're cute together. ;}

[Cloak]

Okay, I'll post another chapter after I eat dinner. Meanwhile, I'm currently planning out the chapters for Book CCXLIII. Oh, wait. I never posted the ideas.

• BOOK CCXLII: "Faulty Faculty" -- The RAFians face some AAHLPs.
• BOOK CCXLIII: "Oh, Super!" -- The RAFians must stem the flow of a new illicit drug that grants normal people superpowers, but has serious drawbacks.
• BOOK CCXLIV: "Extreme Bod Mods" -- The RAFians must confront Alpha.

Hope none of those were rehashes. Let me know what you think! Now, to dinner.

CHAPTER EIGHT:
Knightly Temptations

Shenecron was well aware of the fact that his younger half-brother had got his message. But perhaps he needed another message. Shenecron needed another fool, another soul to collect. It shouldn't be too hard . . . oh, yes, this should do. The hatred coming from it was palpable, and it warmed the demon. Hell was full of hatred, rage, blood, bone, and fear -- any demon could recognize it.

Well, maybe except his half-brother. Those mortals had made him go soft. He was blood, and it was unforgiveable to have a brother -- different mothers or not -- go soft and all bleeding heart. He'll use this next deal to demonstrate this.

He looked again at the low-key building which appeared to only recently reinhabited. Shenecron wore a disguise of a skeletally thin man in his prime as he entered the HQ with little trouble or effort. The Knights of Humanity had been rather quiet for a while now. Some had even thought that they died.out or disbanded. This was not true, they just went underground. They were gathering strength, a presence, before going out into the open again. Shenecron was disguised as a low-level grunt.

It took him only moments to find the perfect patsy. Warren Mongo. A thick-set, hairy man in silver chainmail with thick arms, broad shoulders, and a gorilla-like frame. He had an obvious gap in his upper teeth and beady, dark brown eyes. He wore a thoroughly disgruntled look on his face. Shenecron suppressed a smile. He was perfect -- just absolutely perfect.

But Shenecron was smart enough not to rush into anything. He waited, and got to know Warren. He believed that aliens had manipulated his wife to leave him with their "mental powers", something he was convinced that all aliens was capable of, so he never took off his helmet. Even when showering.

"It is possible, you know." Shenecron said. "To rid the planet of all aliens."

"That's the cause," Warren said.

"Not what I meant, Warren." Shenecron said. "I can make it happen in one fell swoop."

"Then what's stopping you?" Warren said, skeptically.

"I can't do a thing for myself," Shenecron said, smoothly. "My particular brand of . . . of hoodoo can only work for someone else."

"So, what does that have to do with me?"

"Just sign on the dotted line," Shenecro said. "Sign and all the aliens will never trouble you again. Sign and they'll be gone."

[redtailedsaffa]

Great. These guys again.

[Cloak]

Did you honestly think they wouldn't pop up again?

Okay, new chapter.
 

CHAPTER NINE:
Deception

Mongo signed, blissfully unaware that he was signing his soul away. Had he been smart he would have read the contract and realized the wording didn't exactly mesh with what Shenecron had told him. He just believed that the Knights' goal, their whole reason for being, would finally been fulfilled.
 
"Very well," Shenecron said, smiling brightly. "By morning, every non-Terran-borne creature will be removed from the planet."
 
Then he left.
 

***

The next day came with disturbing rapidity. Mongo was, at first, delighted. It would have appeared that most, if not all, alien immigrants were slain. Shenecron couldn't reap their souls, however. They didn't sign a contract.
 
But this euphoria did not last long, as it became evident that there were still what the Knights consider aliens in their extreme xenophobia. But this did not void the contract, as Shenecron had stated that all "non-Terran-borne aliens" would be gone. Namely, aliens who were not born on Earth were slain. Mongo was enraged, believing he was tricked.
 
When Shenecron came to collect his debt, Mongo laid into him.
 
"I don't owe you an effin' thing! You didn't rid us of all of the extraterrestrial vermin!"
 
"I said that I would eliminate all non-Terran-borne aliens." Shenecron said, surprisingly even. "And I did."
 
"No, you effin' did not!" Mongo roared. One would have expected him to beat his chest, gorilla-like. "Look, there! They're still here."
 
"They were born here," Shenecron said, in the same calm, even tone. "They're just as much Terrans as you and your lot."
 
"Mankind was born here!" Mongo protested furiously.
 
"Ah," Shenecron said. "You should have caught that in the contract. I offered you a chance to read it. But, like most of your kind in this day and age, you agreed to it without reading first. Your carelessness is not my responsibility. The contract is not voided. Now, my fee has come due."
 
But Shenecron had overlooked something. Not a RAFian was touched by this contract. Shenecron couldn't enter the fortified forum. Demos had told the others about his half-brother and they had taken precautions. Mongo didn't hesitate to point this out.
 
Shenecron lost his calm, even demeanor. This voided the contract. To Mongo's horror and humiliation, Shenecron assumed his true form. Mongo was disgusted that he was associating with a nonhuman. This reaction did not endear the Knight to the demon, who Shenecron slayed out of fury and frustration.

[Shenmue654]

I'm always baffled by the "why" of Jackass Genie contracts that involve your soul. The Jackass Genie has no reason to screw you over in a wish where you're giving your whole being to Hell. He just would need to wait until it's time to collect and watching the fireworks would more than make up for his trouble. 

More importantly, something you'd be willing to pay your soul for must be pretty messed up. In the original Faust, Mephistopheles just straight up gave the guy whatever he wanted because he knew that Faust's wishes would have despair-tastic consequences.

Of course, it could be that Shenecron is just a huge ****. XD Oh demons.

[Cloak]

I assure you, Shen, he is.

Anyway I'll post another chapter shortly.

Sorry, too tired to write the next chapter.

[theyoungphoenix]

I think it's ridiculous that some people won't even read the contract. I mean, if you're gonna sign something, then why don't you read the fine print instead of writing your life away? But, I am not i. Their shoes, so I don't know all of the details.