Author Topic: Memoirs of a RAFian  (Read 636421 times)

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Offline Cloak

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Re: Memoirs of a RAFian
« Reply #2220 on: June 24, 2013, 06:42:23 PM »
Oh, she's about to make her feelings known. ;)

CHAPTER FIVE:
The Lecherous Leprechaun

The leprechaun gave a a rather disturbingly lecherous grin at Sakki, who looked as if she couldn't believe what she was seeing. The dangerous look she gave the leprechaun would have mimicked the gaze of a basilisk.

The leprechaun just chuckled suggestively. This just made Sakki irate, as Empress Goose and Chad were grinning like idiots, fit to burst. This made Sakki even more hostile.

"You cannot be serious," she said, in venomous tones.

Now the leprechaun added raising and lowering his eyebrows suggestively. Empress and Chad started snickering at the livid look on Sakki's face and thefact that this leprechaun just didn't seem to be getting the message. The leprechaun began to make kissy faces at Sakki . . . oh, this wasn't gonna end well.

"Back up there, pal."

The leprechaun ignored this warning and approached closer with puckered lips.

"I'm warning you . . ." Sakki said, with a definite threatening posture. Again, the leprechaun persisted with all the charms of a lobster.

"I said, " Sakki said, baring her teeth, her mouth unfolding to maximize her sonics, "BACK OFF!"

The lecherous leprechaun was sent tumbling, head over foot, as Chad and Empress Goose's reading material was pull out of their hands and buffeted horribly. The leprechaun was no longer in sight.

"Bit excessive, don't you think?" Chad commented calmly.

"He made me mad." Sakki shrugged. "I'm not a piece of meat."

***

But, apparently, this leprechaun was lonely and -- and -- well, he wasn't exactly picky. He made lurid passes at any RAFgirl that he came across.

They didn't show him and more mercy than Sakki did. It didn't help that this archaic leprechaun treated them all as objects, as meat.

The chauvinist pig essentially got karmically what he deserved.


Book 189: "Shenecron's Pets"
Chapter 4: "First Attempt"
(January 7, 2020)

RAFians Referenced Specifically: Demos.

Offline Underseen

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Re: Memoirs of a RAFian
« Reply #2221 on: June 24, 2013, 06:49:29 PM »
Not very smooth for an Irishman
RAF awards 2012: Best Newcomer... It feels good too

Well, Blue is my RAFcousin.
 Blaze is my RAFbrother and formidable rival.

Offline theyoungphoenix

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Re: Memoirs of a RAFian
« Reply #2222 on: June 24, 2013, 06:52:41 PM »
Oh, he is gonna get knocked off the face of RAF if he doesn't stop. Haha.
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Offline Gaz

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Memoirs of a RAFian
« Reply #2223 on: June 24, 2013, 08:23:59 PM »
I shall send legions of bats after the leprechaun! Or maybe I already did.

redtailedsaffa

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Re: Memoirs of a RAFian
« Reply #2224 on: June 25, 2013, 08:49:39 AM »
Get ready to face my diamonds, boyo! :D

Offline Cloak

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Re: Memoirs of a RAFian
« Reply #2225 on: June 25, 2013, 06:36:09 PM »
Sorry, dunno if I can post a chapter even with that little Error 500 snafu earlier. But I'll try and modify this post with one, after I check to see if it'll post.

CHAPTER SIX:
Cloak and the Clover

In a field of clover, Cloak was practing the elements, trying to hone his reaction time and agility, as his mastery with the elements were already at their zenith. Aquilai was nearby, crawling around his TARDIS like an ant on picnic food. Repairing, regular maintenance, updating it -- who know?

"You missed," the Time Lord commented absently, referring to air pulse shot Cloak took at a target.

"Say, would you love your TARDIS to pieces?" Cloak said, with a subtle irritable threat.

"That was uncalled for." Aquilai said, suddenly livid.

Cloak had forgotten how touchy Time Lords got about their TARDISes. It was almost as if the two were quantumly-entangled, like quantum lichen*.

"Alright. Alright, I went to far." Cloak conceded. Then Cloak's right ear twitched at a distant sound. Aquilai didn't appear to hear it, but Cloak was sure it was from RAF -- the two were essentially on a training leave, on the inactive list of RAFians.

Aquilai was quick on the uptake. At once, he said, "What's going on? What's happening?"

Cloak frown a bit, "Sakki's twlling someone to back off."

"Rotiart must be up to his meddling ways again," Aquilai suggested with a shrug.

"She's never used her sonics on him, though," Cloak said, thoughlyy nonplussed. "Usually, a simple glare is enough to --" Then, quite suddenly, something soared over the field, tumbling in the air.

"What the devil was that?" Aquilai asked fervently.

"Looked like the ugliest little man I've ever seen adorned in green." Cloak said, "with the stupidest-looking bowler hat I've ever seen."

"Please tell me you're kidding." Aquilai said.

A beat passed.

"You're not kidding."

Then the little man appeared, looking thoroughly ruffled, and proceed to make his way back. He was giving the clover a wide birth. Cloak noticed this, and raised an eyebrow.

"Doesn't he see us . . . oh my. That's an actual leprechaun." Aquilai said.

"Notice how he keeps his distance from the clover," Cloak said, thoughtfully.

---
*See "Futurama" for the reference.
« Last Edit: June 25, 2013, 07:10:16 PM by CloakedFigure »


Book 189: "Shenecron's Pets"
Chapter 4: "First Attempt"
(January 7, 2020)

RAFians Referenced Specifically: Demos.

Offline Underseen

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Re: Memoirs of a RAFian
« Reply #2226 on: June 25, 2013, 08:53:10 PM »
This book is taking one humorous turn to the next
RAF awards 2012: Best Newcomer... It feels good too

Well, Blue is my RAFcousin.
 Blaze is my RAFbrother and formidable rival.

Offline theyoungphoenix

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Re: Memoirs of a RAFian
« Reply #2227 on: June 25, 2013, 09:33:58 PM »
I have a feeling that the clover plays an important role in this story.
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Saffa is my shorm and RAFtwin. :D Lumy is my awesomeful RAFbrother. ;D
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RAFian Artist of the Year 2016

redtailedsaffa

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Re: Memoirs of a RAFian
« Reply #2228 on: June 26, 2013, 02:53:36 AM »
Lol, I'm loving this :D

Offline Cloak

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Re: Memoirs of a RAFian
« Reply #2229 on: June 26, 2013, 05:59:35 PM »
Okay, I'm working evenings (3:30 to midnight) now apparently, so, there might not be a chapter tomorrow. Fair warnin'.

Warning, this chapter might get a little . . . racy.

CHAPTER SEVEN:
We Don't Have Your Bloody Gold!

"Honey!" a rather unfaithful womanizer cried as he embracing and kisding another woman. As the door creaked open. "Honey, it's not what you -- who are you? Isn't a bit early for Halloween -- and GET OUT!"

"Give me me gold."

"Wha -- get lost! Get out of my house!"

"Give me me gold!"

"I don't have any of your gold!" the man snarled. "Now go away or I'll call the police."

"Liar! Thief! Insurance salesman!"

And, with that, the walls were sprayed with blood. This leprechaun killed the both of them, and began to ransack their house.

Unable to find what he wanted, he left, seemingly unaware of the rainbow leading from the crime scene.

***

Then a politician was partaking too much of the bubbly, and getting really off his butt drunk. He drunkenly looks up from his desk seeing the leprechaun, but reacted accommodatingly.

"You're early!" he said, slurring his words horribly.

"Where's me gold?"

"Ask the buffalo," the politician slurred, unwittingly losing dignity in his drunken wake.

"Don't play games with me, boyo." the leprechaun snarled. "Where's me gold?!"

"The buffalo knows -- he took them." thendrunken replied before passing out.

"Liar! Thief! Slop artist!"

That politician would never wake up with an excruciating hangover again. A rainbow appeared as the leprechaun appeared.

***

In the end, this leprechaun caused five more additional deaths, each with a rainbow leading to the crime scene. Each one innocent of thievery, but guilty of other vices. Though the leprechaun accused them, though wrongly, of theft an lying.

A greedy man, whom the leprechaun also accused of being a lawyer, asked how much they were worth and was killed on the spot.

A lazy man, who the leprechaun accused of being Justin Bieber, simply ignored the gold-obsessed little man. The leprechaun was not one to be ignored.

A prideful man, who the leprechaun accused of M. Knight Shamaylan (or however you spell it), refused to answer. The leprechaun killed him without a second thought.

The leprechaun went on to kill a very angry man (who he accused of being a backseat driver) and a very jealous man (who he accused of being a politician).
« Last Edit: June 26, 2013, 06:01:36 PM by CloakedFigure »


Book 189: "Shenecron's Pets"
Chapter 4: "First Attempt"
(January 7, 2020)

RAFians Referenced Specifically: Demos.

Offline theyoungphoenix

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Re: Memoirs of a RAFian
« Reply #2230 on: June 26, 2013, 06:11:09 PM »
Well then. He is certainly mad at not having his gold. This is gonna be interesting....
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Offline DinosaurNothlit

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Re: Memoirs of a RAFian
« Reply #2231 on: June 26, 2013, 08:01:14 PM »
HAHA!  I am finally caught up!  It took about three days of almost nonstop reading, but I DID IT!

Hehe, and about the giant random karma-dump.  :XD:  I really just needed a way to comment on all the chapters as I read them, and I didn't want to have to remember everything I was going to say so I could post a gigantic wall of comments in this post.  Geez, could you imagine how long this post would have been?  So, just in case you were wondering, no, your karma didn't suddenly glitch, that was all me.

I did want to just mention, though, how sad I am that Abomination died right when he was becoming a very deep and interesting character.  My heartstrings are still twanging from how hard you pulled them, Cloaky.

[spoiler=slight GONE spoiler]
Towards the end, did Abomination's feelings towards Malice remind anybody else of Diana and Caine, or was that just me?[/spoiler]

Offline Cloak

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Re: Memoirs of a RAFian
« Reply #2232 on: June 26, 2013, 08:18:15 PM »
I've never actually read GONE, so, that's news to me, Dino.

I was actually planning for Abomination to die in Book L, i.e. Book 50. But I decided to push to an earlier book. And don't expect Rumor to be sticking around forever, either.

And I don't mind the karma dump, Dino. ;D


Book 189: "Shenecron's Pets"
Chapter 4: "First Attempt"
(January 7, 2020)

RAFians Referenced Specifically: Demos.

redtailedsaffa

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Re: Memoirs of a RAFian
« Reply #2233 on: June 27, 2013, 12:12:23 AM »
Those insults are perfect. Just perfect. ;D

Offline Underseen

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Re: Memoirs of a RAFian
« Reply #2234 on: June 27, 2013, 01:23:08 AM »
It's all fun and games until a leprechaun calls you Justin Bieber
RAF awards 2012: Best Newcomer... It feels good too

Well, Blue is my RAFcousin.
 Blaze is my RAFbrother and formidable rival.