Memoirs of a RAFian

[Underseen]

What is a hyper-evolved goomba?

[Cloak]

Oh, you'll find out in the next chapter, Underseen.  I'll describe it there, as well as Phoenix's hyperevolved state.  (I've already PM'd them, and they already know.)

I might post it a little later -- if we still have power.

And, new page.  You know what that means.

• Book XXI: Other Side of the Tracks

The RAFians experiences significant differences which allow them to see the other side's point of view.  Twenty chapters planned.

• Book XXII: Pits of Terror

The RAFians fall into pits that show them their greatest fears. Twenty chapters planned.

• Book XXIII: RAF Comix

The RAFians are sucked into a comic book made by Damien. Twenty chapters planned.

• Book XXIV: The First Master

Cloak meditates alone in a forest, and has a vision about the first Master . . . the first Elements Master. Twenty chapters planned.

• Book XXV: RAF -- The Musical

The RAFians find themselves trapped in a musical where everyone must burst into song occasionally.  Twenty chapters planned.

• Book XXVI: Outage Outrage

The RAFians find themselves losing their powers.  Twenty chapters planned.

• Book XXVII: Infinity and Eternity

The Infinity Gems and the Eternity Stones make themselves known.  Twenty chapters planned.

• Book XXVIII: The Virus Rings

The RAFians are attacked by foes they never thought they'd see again.  Twenty chapters planned.

• Book XXIX: Soul-Suckers

The RAFians are attacked by Dementors, which have a rather large effect on Cloak.  Twenty chapters planned.

• Book XXX: Mayhem of the Music Miser

Cloak recalls the RAFians' previous confrontation with the Music Miser three years ago.  Twenty chapters planned.

• Book XXXI: The Metal-Maker

The RAFians must save their own from a Roboticizer. Twenty chapters planned.

• Book XXXII: Richard is Missing

The RAFians must cope without Richard.  Twenty chapters planned.

• Book XXXIII: Emotional Food

The RAFians must confront a different kind of vampire.  Twenty chapters planned.

• Book XXXIV: Transformation Confrontation

The RAFians must confront some strange machines.  Twenty chapters planned.

• Book XXXV: Richard's Horn

The RAFians must get Richard's Horn, a mystical musical instrument, back from Malice, who recieved it from a RAFian traitor.  Twenty chapters planned.

• Book XXXVI: Feral Scream

A Wildwethel-centric book, he must deal with his feral side.  Twenty chapters planned.

• Book XXXVII: Predators and Prey

The RAFians are being preyed upon by some sentient predators.  Twenty chapters planned.

• Book XXXVIII: A Protean Problem

The RAFians must deal with a powerful snot-nosed kid who, quite literally, can do whatever he wants.  Twenty chapters planned.

• Book XXXIX: The Horsemen

Four RAFians are captured and converted into four Horsemen of the ancient, rogue Realm Walker Cataclysm.  Twenty chapters planned.

• Book XL: Sizeable Pain in the Necks

The RAFians must deal with Heinlein aliens. Twenty chapters planned.

• Book XLI: RAF's Nightmare

The RAFians must survive their own nightmares.  Nineteen chapters planned.

• Book XLII: Unlucky Charms

The RAFians must contend with a rather bloodthirsty leprechaun. Twenty chapters planned.

• Book XLIII: The Piper

The RAFians must contend with a pied piper. Nineteen chapters planned.

• Book XLIV: Starlight Desire

The RAFians race Malice, Abomination, and the Banned to a wishing star (no, not Estelore). Eighteen chapters planned.

• Book XLV: A War of Armor

Parker is outraged to see knockoffs of his rather unique armor and what they're being used for.  Twenty-two chapters planned.

• Book XLVI: The Worst Plague

The RAFians must weather the worst plague to ever existed -- the Hate Plague.  Twenty chapters planned.

• Book XLVII: Little Alien Napoleons

The RAFians are caught in the middle of a war between Helmacrons and Fmeks.  Twenty chapters planned.

• Book XLVIII: Go Away!

The RAFians must deal with the papparazzi who are all of a sudden interested in them.  Twenty chapters planned.

• Book XLIX: RAFian Tales

RAFians tell various RAFian-themed stories across a lunch table.  Twenty chapters planned -- a RAFian story per chapter, discounting the intro.

• Book L: Maul

The RAFians must deal with the result of one of Demos's experiments.  Twenty chapters planned.

• Book LI: Erised Orbs

The RAFians must face their greatest desires.  Twenty chapters planned.

• Book LII: RAFians Alive!

Read the "Mummies Alive" parody in the RAFize songs thread.  Twenty chapters planned.

• Book LIII: The Pain Reliever

The RAFians must deal with an elderly Vulcan styling himself the "Pain Reliever".  Twenty chapters planned.

• Book LIV: Beyond the Veils

Aquilai and Aila must confront old foes while the other RAFians must put up with a Czarinian bounty hunter.  Twenty chapters planned.

• Book LV: Dangerous Deals

Demos meets up with his half-brother, Shenecron, who has a perchant for making deals.  Twenty chapters planned.

• Book LVI: Of One Mind

Malice seeks out the Unimind.  Twenty chapters planned.

• Book LVII: The End of Time

The RAFians must contend with two Kryptonians (who think they're Time Lords) and prevent them from ending time altogether.  Twenty chapters planned.

• Book LVIII: Hematomimic

The RAFians must capture a Plasmavore and put up with it's rather stupid Judoon jailer.  Twenty chapters planned.

• Book LIX: Sins of Youth

Estelore, Richard, Parker, and Cloak must survive when the entire city and forum have been reduced to two-year-olds.  Twenty chapters planned.

• Book LX: The Replacements

The RAFians must contend with the fame-feeding Eidolon Consciousness.  Twenty chapters planned.

• Book LXI: Arachnoids

The RAFians must contend with the Arachnoids and finding a cure for one of their own that was poisoned before it's too late.  Twenty chapters planned.

• Book LXII: Personal Tissues

The RAFians must contend with some one misusing Bibliophaetos's discarded book shell.  Twenty chapters planned.

• Book LXIII: Memory Today, Gone Tomorrow

The RAFians lose their memory and must find a way to regain it.  Twenty chapters planned.

• Book LXIV: Appliance Armageddon

A superintelligent computer controls all electronics, and the RAFians must stop it.  Twenty chapters planned.

• Book LXV: Prodigy and Composite

Some RAFians are merged into two separate entities.  Twenty chapters planned.

• Book LXVI: The Merging

The Universes begin colliding and merging.  Twenty chapters planned.

• Book LXVII: Be A Doll

The RAFians are confronted by a Super Chucky.  Twenty chapters planned.

• Book LXVIII: They're Such Cards

The RAFians are sealed into cards, which end up trapped in an ancient leather-bound book, and it's up to three kids to free them.  An out-of-continuity book.  Five chapters planned out thus far.

• Book LXIX: Dinosaur Island

Everyone, except those that bear a Mark, begin turning saurian.  No chapters planned out yet.

• Book LXX: Corrupted

The RAFians must deal with the son of Cataclysm, Corruptor.  No chapters planned out yet.

• Book LXXI: Artificial Skins

The RAFians must deal with symbiotes.  No chapters planned out yet.

• Book LXXII: Separation Anxiety

The RAFians must contend with an ethereal virus.  No chapters planned out yet.

• Book LXXIII: A Thing About RAFians

The RAFians must contend with Seekers, which home in onto their Marks.  No chapters planned out yet.

• Book LXXIV: A Planted Idea

The RAFians must contend with a floramaniac.  No chapters planned out yet.

• Book LXXV: Vacation Photos

The RAFians are sucked into a Polarisoid camera.  No chapters planned out yet.

• Book LXXVI: A Personal Gremlin

The RAFians must contend with gremlins.  No chapters planned out yet.

• Book LXXVII: The Rust is Silence

The Rafians must deal with an ocidationr ay wielded by a criminal.  No chapters planned out yet.

• Book LXXVIII: The Toyman Cometh

The RAFians deal with a Toyman-esque character.  No chapters planned out yet.

• Book LXXIX: RAFian Idol

Yes, just another excuse to put in more of the (as of writing) nearly 800 parodies.  No chapters planned out yet.

• Book LXXX: Savage Heart

Cloak battles an ancient being called Carrotik.  No chapters planned out yet.

• Book LXXXI: Slave Islands and Juggernauts

Three RAFians are taken prisoners by the Knights and sold into the slavery of New Genoshia, while the others deal with a juggernaut.  No chapters planned out yet.

• Book LXXXII: Shredding a King

The RAFians deal with a demonic Shredder ghost.  No chapters planned out yet.

• Book LXXXIII: RAF -- The TV Show

The RAFians are forcibly recruited to one of Mojo's programs.  No chapters planned out yet.

• Book LXXXIV: The Drinker

The RAFians must contend with a Spirit-Drinker. No chapters planned out yet.

• Book LXXXV: The Last Laugh

The RAFians must face Joker Gas.  No chapters planned out yet.

• Book LXXXVI: It's A Mad, Mad, Mad Villain

The RAFians must contend with mind control cards.  No chapters planned out yet.

• Book LXXXVII: Sight Unseen

Six RAFians are rendered functionally blind.  No chapters planned out yet.

• Book LXXXVIII: Don't Let It Snow

The RAFians must face a second Ice Age.  No chapters planned out yet.

• Book LXXXIX: The Rachel Toxin

The RAFians must find a cure to a toxin that increases the fearlessness, hostility and aggressiveness induced in people.  No chapters planned out yet.

• Book XC: Virus Alert!

The RAFians face a dangerous virus seeking a host.  No chapters planned out yet.

• Book XCI: A Youthful Thief

The RAFians face a creature that siphons off the youth in its victims.  No chapters planned out yet.

• Book XCII: Calendar Creep

The RAFians face the Calendar Creep, a criminal whose crimes are holiday themed.  No chapters planned out yet.

• Book XCIII: The Branding

Faerie fights a witch-boy named Salem (and his magical black cat, Saberhagen) for a magical branding iron in Faeries possession.  No chapters planned out yet.

• Book XCIV: The Void Zone

Essentially gonna be a "Subspace Emissary" parody.  No chapters planned out yet.

• Book XCV: An Epic Yarn

The RAFians' world is turned into yarn and fabric.  No chapters planned out yet.

• Book XCVI: RAFian Gladiators

RAFians are kidnapped by Gamesmaster, another rogue Realm Walker, and force to participate in gladiatorial games.  Contains the parodies of "It's Like A B-Movie" and "Worthless".  No chapters planned out yet.

• Book XCVII: The Box

The RAFians must cage thirteen Revenants released from Pandora's Box -- each representing and amplifying a particular feeling (i.e. hatred), while looking for the perfect host.  No chapters planned out yet.

• Book XCVIII: From the Shadows

The RAFians must save their shadows and the shadows of everyone else from being absorbed (eaten) by the Umbraraptors.  No chapters planned out yet.

• Book XCIX: Grimm Prospects

The RAFians discover Malice controlling several "wesen" with control collars akin to April's in "Catwoman from Channel Six" and get stuck in one-on-one battles to the death with them.  Might be one of my longer books -- and, no, I haven't watched Grimm.  I've only recently discovered it via "Face Off".  No chapters planned out yet.

• Book C: Loop-De-Loop

Everyone's trapped in a temporal loop, but the only ones that realize it are Cloak, Shadow, Aila, and Aquilai.  No chapters planned out yet.

• Book CI: Get 'Em, Shaw

The RAFians face a creature from the planet Gossamer, who's under the control of Malice.  No chapters planned out yet.

• Book CII: Threadfall

The RAFians must exterminate an epidemic of Thread.  No chapters planned out yet.

[Gaz]

Yay update! You're the best, cloaky.

[Cloak]

Thanks, Gazzy!

. . . It looks really bad out (granted, it's probably worse for Gaz), so I don't know if I CAN post a new chapter.  I don't want to start it, then have the power go POOF on me, and people have been talking like power outages will be certain. . . .

I'll try, if I can.  And there may be an upgrade for Faerie's battle-ax and Horse's Pinniped Dagger in a future book, and Phoenix, Mithril, Underseen, and Goom may get a new weapon each . . . don't hold this to me though!

EDIT: Short chapter, but I will be posting another one . . . unless something comes up.

CHAPTER NINE:
Doctor Says, "WTF?"

Gemini was very intimidated by the seven, soon all attention was taken from the good doctor and given to the two evolving RAFians, who were starting to become swaddled in brilliantly white light.  And the two who stood before them were very different from the two RAFians they knew, but only physically -- they had the exact same personalities.  But they were both a great deal more powerful, but not as much as Estelore or Cloak, but nearly there.

Phoenix retained his human face, head and neck, but the rest of him was very similar, if not identical, to Blaze Heatnix*, including fiery hair.  His body kept igniting in weird places, and it took him a few minutes to learn how to control this much power.  It was like immediately riding a bike that suddenly turned into a Formula-1 racing car, both going at top speed.  He was now Ultimate Phoenix004.

Goom's basic form didn't change as drastically.  He grew in size drastically, so he was of equal size to Phoenix, but remained with the same proportions of a Goomba, and he still lacked arms.  Large, white avian wings unfolded from his back and his upward fangs became more pronounced, becoming rather like Granbull tusks.  Goom noticed immediately that his hearing and eyesight were both sharper than he was accustomed to.  He was now Ultimate Goom.

"What?" Gemini spluttered.  "They were supposed to have devolved!"

"Well, sorry to disappoint you," Phoenix said, exercising more control over his bodily flames.  His slightly-deeper voice now had a slight reverb effect to it.  "But we're not devolved."

"I think I like this," Goom said, smirking.  His eyes still had the slightly-cartoonish, Goomba look.  But the tusks made him look far more intimidating.  He tried to fly and found that he could easily lift his bulk off the ground.  Now he realized why the RAFian fliers like Blaze and Faerie loved flying over walking.  He discovered that he could extrude movement restricting "mini-mes" that he could telepathically direct.  "This is so awesome."

But Gemini wasn't paying the two Ultimate RAFians any attention anymore.  At least, not as much.  He was desperately trying to fiddle with the Darwin gun, but but Boll attempted to intercede, only for the good doctor to fire the gun, and the beam was aimed at Cloak.  Cloak, without thinking, absorbed it with his index and middle finger, forced it down his arm, across his stomach, up the other arm, and out of his other index finger and middle finger.

It hit Gemini square in the chest, as Cloak just realize what he may have done.  Was he anymore in the right devolving the good doctor than he was at playing God with that damned machine of his?  As the Darwin gun clattered to the ground, it's polarities shifted (which Gemini was attempting to when he accidentally fired), and the beams hits Ultimate Phoenix, Ultimate Goom, Ultimate Audacity, and Ultimate Ateles.  Within a few moments, all four were back to their normal forms, and the Darwin gun looked somewhat damaged, but not too bad.**

Goom looked and saw that he was plain ol' regular Goom again, and moaned with immense disappointment, "AWWWWWW!!"

Phoenix who looked thoroughly disappointed, echoed the sentiment by saying, "I miss Ultimate me. . . ."

It was at this point that Sakki, Rocklobster, and Oceanspray started coming back online.

"Ugh . . . someone get a number of that train that hit me?" Sakki moaned.

"This can't be good for my servos," Oceanspay muttered.

"My hologram emitter is offline," Rocklobster noted, as he gave himself a self-diagnostic.

"Uh, guys," came the rather husky voice of Ultimate Koowser, "you might want to see what's happening to this guy there."

"It ain't good," Motley said, which was unique in and of itself, as regular Vulpimancers can't talk.

Gemini was curled over, but they could see changes occuring within him.

---
*Similar, if not identical, to this --

**Please don't grip "then why did you have them hyperevolve at all" -- this ain't the last time we're gonna see those two forms.  Well, it's gonna be the last time we see this specific transformation of Goom . . .

[Cloak]

Right now, I'm really in the writing zone.  So, unless the power cuts out or I desperately need a nap or something, here's the next chapter!

CHAPTER TEN:
The Ultimate Madman

Gemini's skin was becoming rather gray, like the skin of a cadaver.  The veins of his head were becoming rather more pronounced.  While his body seemed to be shrivelling, his head -- and presumably his brain -- was becoming larger and larger.  His eyes seemed to become rather bloodshot, and they increased in size, but not to the extent this guy's head was growing.  Soon enough, it looked roughly the shape of an unpopped kernel of popcorn.  He seemed to grow a devilishly evil goatee in the mean time, as his actual body seemed to grow more and more vestigial, like a human's appendix or a tyrannosaur's arms.  Of course, as small as they were getting, the clothing he was wearing no longer fit and . . . well, that's best left to the imagination.

Eventually, the changes stopped and now he was a hyperevolved human.*  His head was roughly the size of the plastic bubbles or human-sized hamster ball things, and his body had degenerated to a vestigial object roughly equivalent to that of a moderately-sized kindergardener.  His eyes seemed to have adapted some black sclera, for some unknown purpose -- possibly to see a wider range of the spectrum, or perhaps the ability to see n^th dimensionally.  Who knows.

But what was clear was that he had gain some phenomenally powerful telepathy and psychokinesis.  Fortunately, just as Phoenix and Goom had when they were in their hyperevolved, or Ultimate forms, Gemini was unfamiliar with his new power.  There was some time to act before he learned of what he could do and the extent of his powers.

"Koowser, Phoenix, Boll, Goom -- everyone, listen.  And listen quickly -- we haven't much time." Cloak said, taking immediate charge.  "You need to get the five in those cages back to the forum.  Quickly!"

"And what about you?" Sakki said, picking up immediately that Cloak left himself out of that.

"I can stay here and hold him off."

"That's being a bit generous about your power, isn't it?" Goom said.  "What if you're no match for him?"

Cloak sighed a bit angrily.  "If you're concerned about that, send Estelore over here to assist me.  She's due back from that Alpha Centauri star system today.  Maybe I can use the Darwin gun to devolve him . . . no, you guys take it, so you can fix it or reverse engineer it to put everything right.  Now hurry -- before he reads your minds!"

"What makes you think he can't --" Oceanspray began.

"LATER!" Cloak snarls, knowing very well that all Realm Walkers are immune from telepathic probes and mind control, which tends to make them rather unpredictable.  "GO NOW!"

They didn't dawdle from there.  As Gemini, felt himself innudated with the minds all beings on the planet -- giving him a monster-sized headache, which was considerable, considering the size of his noggin -- the others gathered up the cages and the Darwin gun and fled the scene.  Cloak, knowing he was alone now, attempted to act a whole lot braver than he actually felt.

Much too soon for Cloak's liking, Gemini seemed to grasp and control his newfound abilities.  He looked at the Realm Walker with a haughty sneer, although it would appear that he could no longer speak normally, but he could broadcast his thoughts in something similar to thought-speech, but somewhat louder.

<AH, THE LONE GUNMAN, STANDING ALONE AND FRIENDLESS BEFORE THE BEHEMOTH,> he crowed, <WELL, THIS DAVID AND GOLIATH STORY WILL END WITH GOLIATH THE VICTOR!>

"I suppose that would depend on who's really Goliath here." Cloak said far calmer than he actually felt.

<SUCH BRAVADO IN THE FACE OF IMMINENT DEMISE!> Gemini gloated.  Cloak was really starting to get irritated by the frequency he did that.  <SUCH A PITY.>

"Who's imminent demise, though?" Cloak replied, keeping his voice even.

<YOU HAVE NO DEFENSE AGAINST ME!  I CAN READ YOUR THOUGHTS!>

"Really?  What am I thinking?" Cloak said, folding his arms across his chest, ****ing his head slightly to the right, and speaking pleasantly.

< . . . UH . . . UH . . . UH . . .>

"You don't know, do you?"

<YES, I DO!!> he insisted.  <YOU'RE THINKING OF . . . OF . . . OF . . . POKEMON?>

"Was that an answer or a question?" Cloak replied, keeping his pleasant tones.

<IT'S WHAT YOU WERE THINKING OF!!>

"Wrong-o."

<YOU LIE!>

"And you clearly have no knowledge of Realm Walker physiology." Cloak said, as if he was explaining things to a very emotional toddler.  "We are immune to all types of mind control.  Trying to probe or read our minds is like trying to extracate yourself from a Taxxon's mouth without killing or harming it -- impossible."

<IMPOSSIBLE!>

"Is there an echo out here?" Cloak taunted.

Gemini tried to use his telekinesis to throw Cloak, but Cloak anticipated this, rode the wave, bounced off the building and landed behind the macrocephalic fiend.

"It's not gonna be so easy, Gemini." Cloak said, although he knew very well that this probably would end up as a war of attrition with him.  Cloak also realized he may not be able to continue to hold back, to keep his emotions in check.  This little problem would probably require the absolute zenith of his power . . . and that's what really scared him.

---
*Form roughly based on both the Jimmy Neutron episode "Sheen's Brain" and an episode of "Mighty Max".

[Underseen]

Ahh Mighty Max... Bad game, but can't remember the show...

[Cloak]

Never played the game, but the show was decent.  Had Rob Paulsen (1980s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Animaniacs, Jimmy Neutron, etc) and Tony Jay (Frollo in Hunchback of Notre Dame) in it.

Anyway, more chapters will come tomorrow, lest I lose power.

EDIT: Added Books XCVII ("The Box") and XCVIII ("From the Shadows") to the list.

[Underseen]

I am thinking about re-reading the whole series again... I am that bored

[Cloak]

Well, I'll post a chapter soon enough, Underseen.

Meanwhile, during the commercials of Face-Off, I'm working on an idea for Book XCIX (that's Book 99). . . . I've really have got too many ideas. . . .

Anyway --

CHAPTER ELEVEN:
A Shooting Star

Cloak stood in the middle of an unusually desolate street, staring down his foe with the abnormally large noggin.  He felt no fear, only a slight apprehension and hesitation to cause property damage.  The RAFians' PR images weren't all that stellar as is, and knocking down a few buildings, regardless of intent, wasn't bound to endear him to the denizens of the city.

"The consumate hero, aren't you, alien?" Gemini sneered.

Cloak said nothing.  He didn't care about the creature's taunts.  He thought Gemini was slime to the core, though, and no matter of accelerated evolution or devolution would change that.  There are fundamental qualities to this person that would never change.  As Cloak reflected on this, while starting his foe down (which wasn't exactly easy as Gemini had his head levitated moderately above Cloak's plane of vision), a slight breeze blew on by, causing his cloak to flutter in a way most dramatic.

Slowly, deliberately, light appeared on the horizon behind Gemini.  Dawn had arrived at last in earnest.  But Cloak knew this wasn't not a pleasant turn of events.  Soon enough, rush hour would begin, and the two's battlefield was in the way of that.  There'd be innocent bystanders in the way -- Cloak would never understand humans need to crowd around and watch imminent disaster unfold.

Cloak knew he had to end this somehow.  He contemplated killing Gemini, but knew in his heart of hearts, that he was just not sufficiently ruthless enough to go through with it.

"Ah, I see," Gemini said, breaking the spanning silence between the two.  "You're worried about the pitiful nothings that will show up here and get injured.  So, you're considering ending my life, right?"

Gemini wasn't reading Cloak's mind, he was making educated guesses shrewdly.  Cloak's face hardened and he said nothing.  But his surly body language told Gemini everything he needed to know.

"Ah," he crowed, at an unnecessarily loud volume.  Surely, some people were bound to have noticed already.  Cloak hoped that they were so self-possessed that they would not, as they would be possibly used against him.  Gemini continued in derisive tones, "I see, Walker.  I see it very clearly.  You are required to kill me, kill me to stop me from ruling, but you can't do it.  You're too kind and gentle, right?  Too kind and gentle to do what must be done?"

He laughed a deep, hearty, malicious laugh.

"How pathetic.  All the power you possess . . . and it's wasted.  Wasted on a weak-willed little nothing!"

His face hardened as his tone turned serious.

"You may not be willing to kill me, Walker," he said, "but I have no such limiting compunction towards you!"

Cloak didn't bother to tell him that Realm Walkers can only die at the hands, or, to split hairs, energies, of another Realm Walker.  What would the point be?  It was apparent that Gemini's head wasn't the only thing that grew -- his ego and arrogance did, as well.  Cloak, in a way, pitied the hyperevolved man.  The higher your ego and arrogance are, usually the more humiliating defeat will ensue.

Anyway, Gemini attempted to telekinectically lift Cloak again, surprised to find that he was unable to do so.  Unbeknowst to the macrocephalic fiend, Cloak was using his mastery over the Earth element in a rather unorthodox way, by using it to make him "stick" to the earth.  This is the first time Cloak had ever tried such an endeavor.

"Miserable insect!" Gemini snarled.  "I'll just have to crush you beneath my heel, you --"

"Oh, SHUT UP!!" shouted a familiar voice.

Gemini managed to deflect a bolt of what appeared to be stellar energy to the left of him as Estelore, wearing her kevlar suit and her hair in that tight bun.  Esty, in warrior mode.  Esty, when she means serious business and butt-whooping.

"Sorry I'm late, Cloak," she said, "Phoenix only just told me."

"Well, let's wrap this up with as minimal property damage as we can.  And before we . . . get . . . by . . . stan . . . ders. . . ." Cloak said, ending the sentence in a stilted way when he saw the amount of bystanders that had gathered.  What did they think this was?  Some sort of street preformance?  Some kind of stunt show?

"That complicates this a bit," Esty commented in a weary way.

[Cloak]

Okay . . . dunno if there'll be a parody in this one, but it does feel like a place to put one . . .

CHAPTER TWELVE:
Gemini's Disappointing Goal

"That's the understatement of the century, Esty," Cloak grumbled.  With all these people here, both RAFians must carefully measure the strength and accuracy of their attacks.  They must pull back, lest some of these innocents -- moronic innocents, though they are -- get hurt.

Estelore smiled sadly at Cloak at this, and said, "Perhaps if we distract him from whatever it's he's after, we'll give Goom, Aquilai, and Yarin enough time to repair that evo-doohickey, and bring it here.  But the question is how."

"Estelore, he's the stereotypical mad-scientist-type," Cloak said, "we just need to get him monologuing."

Then she turned to Gemini with a more serious face, and said, "What do you want, little bighead?"

"'Little bighead'?" Cloak said, in an aside.

"Hey, you come up with better!" Estelore said in tones of mock outrage.

Gemini, however, heard none this.  He was just reveling in the opportunity to gloat some more.  Cloak swore that hyperevolving Gemini just made him into a petty, two-note criminal -- like Calendar Man.

"Eh, Richard's Animorph Forum.  Worldwide destruction.  Take your pick." Gemini said, with a shrug of his minuscule shoulders.  Cloak was surprised that he had any muscle control in that shriveled form below his cranium.  It was kind of like a raisin being attached to a ping-pong ball.  Suddenly, music started up out of nowhere -- and Cloak realized that Gemini had taken control over a nearby store's musical equipment.

"Or a song," Cloak said, in an aside to Esty.  "A song's good."

"Let's go back to
War and violence
I'm so bored
With peace
And --"

Gemini apparently was angry that the bystanders had started muttering through his song, so he yelled, "SILENCE!!" and everyone wisely decided to shut the heck up.  Then the music, which had stopped briefly, began to resume the musical number.

"Nights of evil filled with fear
Your worst dream, that's my idea of fun!"

"You're mad," Estelore said, unenthusically.

"In both senses of the word." Cloak said with a subtle sneer.

"I'm so glad you noticed. I've been working at it for years!" Gemini crowed again.  It was really starting to irritate Cloak, like a rash in a place you can scratch.

Wow, this guy is really pathetic. Cloak thought to himself.  But he has incredible power that would, usually, enable him to do whatever he wanted on Earth.

Gemini's song continued.

"Let darkness find its sad ways
Let's go back to good old bad days
No more foolish acts of kindness
Richard and his kingdom
Will be mine!
Years from now, no one will bother
To recall your good mod Richard, rather
Because all of this
Will be mine!
This . . .
Will all be mine!

Prepare for the dawning . . . of a new age! The Age of Gemini! Year One!"

"Such hubris," Estelore said, shaking her head, a little.

"Where's that clip of Bison saying, 'of course'?*" Cloak quipped in a very bored way.

"Only one will be revered
Worshipped, hated, loved and feared.
I'd just like to say a few words: 'I, me, mine'!
You were mistaken if you believed
Gemini was someone who'd crumble and leave!
Now I'm back!
And I will be staying!
This time --
I told you once,
I told you twice,
Everything you see before you
Every last bit of it
Will . . .
. . . Be . . .
. . . Mine . . .
. . . Now!!!!!"

"Really?" Estelore said, giving him a rather pitying look.

"You know someone like this was bound to crop up," Cloak sighed.  "Such delusions of grandeur.  Tsk, tsk, tsk."

"Does everyone who's hyperevolve lose all sensibility?" Estelore asked, sincerely.

"Phoenix and Goom seemed fine," Cloak said, rubbing his chin.

"What?"

"I thought Phoenix told you."

"No," Estelore said, narrowing her eyes, "he left out that bit."

"Hey, Siskel and Ebert!  Shut up!" Gemini whined.  Funny how such a large-headed man could whine worse than a three-year-old. . . . and then he went to the ol' bully standby -- "Or I'll make you shut up!!"

---
* Know what this was a reference to?  That's right! Nostalgia Critic!

[Sakki]

I have been reading this whole time I swear XD

[Cloak]

Methinks you have a guily conscience, Sakki.

Anyway, I know I said a couple of chapters, but I think I may need a nap soon. . . .

Added ideas for Book C (100) and Book CI (101).

[Estelore]

This is fun. ^_^

[Cloak]

It's fun to write too. . . . Although I still have to get a better chair to sit in to write it . . .

CHAPTER THIRTEEN:
The Elusive Emitter

Aquilai was staring at the opened Darwin gun as if it had decided to call his mother a cantankerous cow.  He seemed offended by the sheer superfluousness of its bulk.  Yarin, Goom, and he discovered as soon as they opened it, that it could have easily been condensed into something slightly larger than a Dracon beam or Shredder.

"It makes no sense!  It doesn't need to be this big!  There is all this empty space in here . . . for what?"

"Probably to make it lighter," Yarin noted, "Gemini isn't really big on physical strength, I believe."

"Don't make snap judgements," Goom noticed.  "Look at this area here.  There, in the center.  It's been completely fried."

"Phoenix didn't mention seeing any sparks or fire come from it." Aquilai pointed out.

"Don't forget I was there," Goom said.  "There was a slight snapping noise, if I recall correctly.  But it seems that the sparking and fire was confined to this large area.  That could why it's so bulky.  As a rather uninspired contingency or precaution should it do this."

"Gemini was never as smart as he thought he was," Aquilai said.  "The engineering is painfully basic.  Yet, still so dangerous."

"It's only dangerous because of the evolution-altering Darwin photon particle emitter."

"That's a mouthful," Goom noted.

"Let's just abbreviate then," Aquilai suggested, "Ee-ad-pee? E-A-D-P-P-E?"

"That . . . that sounds dirty somehow."

"Let's just call it the Emitter, and be done with it.  Remember guys, Cloak and Estelore are fighting Gemini alone right now.  How'd you think they'd react that we were arguing semantics while they were battling for their lives?"

The three imagined Cloak and Esty, furious with the trio, giving them atomic wedgies.

"Wait, Goom, you're a goomba.  You don't wear clothes.  How can you be given a wedgie?"

"Don't ask."

"But --"

"Don't.  Ask."

"Uh, right.  Back to work guys.  We need to figure out this emitter thing."

***

Meanwhile, back to our other heroes . . .

"Stop it!!!  Stop it!!!  Stop it!!!" Gemini was shouting stomping his pathetic, shrivelled feet.

"All I said was your plan lacked creativity and focus." Estelore said, with a tone that clearly said that she was trying to be reasonable.  "It's so contrived, and, frankly hon, it's been done to death."

"Yeah, it's kinda comic book schtick.  Makes you rather two-dimensional, Gemini!"

"Shut up!!! Shut up!!!  Shut up!!!"

This certainly wasn't the kind of battle Cloak was expecting to have.  Nor did he expect Gemini's ego to be so fragile.  Cloak wondered to himself how much longer before this guy realize how emasculating this scenario was for him.  He wasn't acting the part of a vicious supervillian.  He was acting like a spoiled brat who had never been disagreed with before receiving his first criticism.

Estelore was also starting to think that this battle hardly warranted her warrior form, but she was feeling rather too lazy to change back to her sundress form.  She also secretly hoped that Gemini would finally get the message and realise that stomping his feet, kicking his minute legs, and thrashing his withered body wouldn't get him anywhere.  That throwing a temper tantrum will not get him what he wants.

Both RAFians sigh deeply and resignedly.

[Cloak]

Still feeling energized from the season finale of "Face Off", so I'm gonna write a chapter before it wears off!  Still seven more chapters before I can say that I've written twenty books . . .  kind of.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN:
Shadow Assistance

Cloak resisted the urge to yawn.  This had to be the most boring battle of all time.  Gemini seemed to easily fall to pieces by just hearing Estelore and Cloak's rather beign criticisms and critiques.  Cloak should have known that nothing is ever that easy.

"Uncle?"

Cloak turned to his left in surprise.

"Shadow?  What are you doing here?  I thought school didn't let out for another month."

"Uncle, it's Saturday."

"Oh . . . uh," Cloak said, taken unawares.  "I thought you did things with your dad on Saturdays."

"He had to work," she answered.  "Hi, Estelore.  Are you trying to get rid of me, Uncle?"

"No," Cloak said quickly, "but -- but it's not a good time, Shadow.  Estelore and I are kind of in the middle of some--"

"What happened to him?" she asked.

"You're being unsually blunt today, Shadow.  Is there something you're not telling me?" Cloak said, suddenly suspicious.

"Uh, no.  Nothing at all." she said, but Cloak caught her shifty eyes.  But he didn't have time to call her out on it, Gemini wouldn't like Shadow's sudden intrusion.  He wouldn't tolerate it at all."

"What happened to him, Uncle?"

"Gemini got hyperevolved," Cloak said, feeling that Shadow needn't know the specifics of how that happened.

"How?"

"That is immaterial," Cloak said firmly.

"Oh," Shadow said.  "You don't want to talk about it."

She know somehow her uncle was responsible.  Sometimes that girl is too smart for her own good.

"Why are you two just standing around while that guy blubbers like a hatchling?"

"I am NOT blubbering!" Gemini protested.

"Oh, be quiet, Gemini.  Your role in this chapter has already been marginalized!" Cloak said, exasperatedly.

"Huh?" Gemini said, lifting a massive eyebrow.  But Cloak's exclaimation had the desired effect of confusing Gemini into silence -- although it puzzled Estelore as well.

"Are you and Esty fighting him?"

"Shadow, does your mom even know you're here?"

"Can I fight him, too?"

"Did you copy off someone else's schoolwork again?"

"I only did that once! Er, I mean, uh . . . can I fight him too?"

Cloak sighed heavily.  "Neither Faith or your dad or your Meemaw* or your Auntie Dagger know you're here, does they?  No one other than me?"

"Cloak, are you two nearly done?" Estelore asked.  "Gemini there looks rather impatient."

"Why hasn't he thrown a car or something, then?"

Other times, she's not so smart.  Then again, it was a perfect way to distract her uncle . . . and Gemini descided that he really ought to throw some sleek yellow car with black racing stripes at him.

"SHADOW!"

Cloak used his mastery over the Metal Element to grab the car, and use centripical force to send it back at Gemini, who telekinectically ripped asunder.  Cloak could plainly hear someone say, a la the Cabbage merchant, "My car!"

Sorry, pal, Cloak thought, it was either that or let it crush me.  I picked the former.

Shadow took a battle pose, clearly thinking that Cloak had forgotten this little exchange between them.

"This isn't over, Shadow.  I'll be speaking to your mom after we're done here."

---
* That's what Shadow calls my mother.