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Author Topic: The Kelbrid Chronicles  (Read 4262 times)

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Offline Darth Zakryn

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Re: The Kelbrid Chronicles
« Reply #15 on: November 24, 2011, 12:55:38 PM »
Some would also argue that skies on all livable planets should be blue because THAT'S physics, yet the Andalite home world is clearly gold with the Hork-Bajir home world being orange.
« Last Edit: November 24, 2011, 12:57:19 PM by Darth Zakryn »
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Offline Noelle

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Re: The Kelbrid Chronicles
« Reply #16 on: November 24, 2011, 01:18:15 PM »
The snow is white pretty much for the same reason weathel stated.  The snow is H20, for the story I needed the Andalites to be able to survive on some form on this planet, so it would only make sense that it was white.  And for the sun/sky thing I think it depends a lot on what color the star is as well, so if they have a different color sun that could change the sky color.

And I did get your messages, haven't got the chance to reply yet, working on chapter 2.  :)
« Last Edit: November 24, 2011, 01:21:16 PM by Noelle_Winters »
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Offline wildweathel

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Re: The Kelbrid Chronicles
« Reply #17 on: December 04, 2011, 05:41:32 PM »
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1eicu5E6QXsqRqPvpHQHX29Cb_t9eCIp-CX2ctHk7w0U/edit

Chapter 1

Less conceptual critique this time, mostly because I was really having to dig to find it.  I noted where I was confused -- this was a major problem at points.
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Offline Noelle

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Re: The Kelbrid Chronicles
« Reply #18 on: December 04, 2011, 08:52:58 PM »
Thanks for the critique.  :)  And for the record, the translator chips can pick up the language, it just didn't receive enough input yet for him to understand it.  ;)  (In the HBC the translator chips needed a certain amount of phrases in order for them to work.)


As of right now, while the plot is similar, I've spent a lot of time doing a massive overhaul of a lot of the story, so I will update as I can.  :)
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Offline Darth Zakryn

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Re: The Kelbrid Chronicles
« Reply #19 on: December 05, 2011, 01:55:52 AM »

Well, you know I'll be waiting patiently until you update. :)

BTW, did you receive my questions about Elfen Lied?
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Offline Noelle

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Re: The Kelbrid Chronicles
« Reply #20 on: December 05, 2011, 06:57:30 PM »
i did, and I will get to your chapters as well.  Sorry for being so sparse, had my MRI today for my hip.  Let me tell you, you'd never guess how much 15ml of extra fluid in your joints would hurt.


And again Weathel, thanks so much for the critique.  :)  Very good again.
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Offline Darth Zakryn

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Re: The Kelbrid Chronicles
« Reply #21 on: December 05, 2011, 07:51:40 PM »
I can imagine. Remember, I had my whole body thrown around by a car, and even though my arm was the only thing broken (fractured, actually, not broken), my whole flipping body still hurt like all hell. I just wanted to die in that first month of agony.
« Last Edit: December 05, 2011, 07:53:17 PM by Darth Zakryn »
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