Things the Animorphs (and other characters) would never say

[Josh (J)]

well there is one way to know for sure, do you play with mouth sundzuh and eat any and every cinnabon bun you come across?

Well, yes, but that's because I'm generally wierd.

Decently the same here, since I sometimes will play with sounds. And eat a lot of cinnamon buns.

[TobiasMasonPark]

     (Imagine the kids from Frosty the Snowman, gathered around the non-living Frosty)

     Girl: So what should we name it?
     Boy: Oatmeal
     Yeerl: OATMEAL?!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

[t0bias]

visser 3: (in number 17) go on, make my day. no seriously, it WILL make my day coz i love oatmeal

[TobiasMasonPark]

     Random Member of Mall Security: Well, what do we have here? Bagged clothing? Well, there's nothing strange about that. Tons of teenagers leave their clothing out on the tops of mall roofs, where a patrolman is likely to come within feet of it at least once. But that's just another day in the life of a Californian Mall Cop.

     (Animorphs land on mall roof, demorph, and look for their clothing. They stop in front of the cop)

     Random Member of Mall Security: Hey there kids. I guess these are your clothes, then? Well, don't just stand their, you'll catch a cold. Hurry on inside. I'm sure there are lots of other morph capable children waiting to put on clothes ontop of the mall roof--which has been clearly stated to have a sunroof.

     David: I'm just hanging around. I can't morph.

[cams]

Tobias: <There are a few human controllers hiding behind a rushed makeshift fort or something. It's made out of wood and stone. They could shoot from behind the walls through the cracks between the materials. This would be tricky to attack.>
Marco: *in gorilla morph* <Hey! I have an idea!>
*Grabs Tobias and throws him*
Tobias: <AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!> *CRASH*
Marco: <YES! It worked perfectly! That's worth 3 stars!>
*Everyone stares at Marco*
Marco: <What? Haven't you people played Angry Birds?>

[TobiasMasonPark]

     (Ax walks into Cassie's Barn in human morph)

     Ax: I am here, Prince Jake. What is the reason for this meeting?
     Jake: Ax, you know you're our friend right? You know we care for you, right?
     Ax: Yes, Prince Jake.
     Cassie: And you know that we'd do anything for you if you were ever in danger, right?
     Ax: Yes, I am aware of this. But I don't understand--
     Tobias: You have a problem Ax-man.
     Ax: I was not aware of any problem.
     Marco: You're hooked Ax-man. Hooked on the buns.
     Ax: Bunzz? I have no problem with Bunzuh.
     Rachel: You're addicted.
     Ax: I am no addicted. I can stop anytime I want.
     Tobias: Then put down the cinnamon bun!
     (Ax looks down at his hand--he's holding a half eaten cinnamon bun)
     Ax: I...I...I...I...
     David: There are twelve steps. The first step--put down the bun!
Post Merged: January 13, 2011, 08:00:02 PM     Emperor: Alright, so what is this Pool Ship going to look like?
     Builder 1: Alright, imagine a gigantic insect-looking space-faring vessel, with its engines placed beneath its base.
     Emperor: Go on...
     Builder 2: Not only can it hold up to seventeen thousand yeerks--as the minimum-- but it can also do some damage on enemy vessels.
     Emperor: That does sound promising. I'd definitely be interested in purchasing such a design.
     Builder 1: And, just for kicks, we have included a special button--a nice big red shiny button for any Yeerk, Hork-Bajir or...I don't know, human who happens to have gotten passed the three guards that we'll station aboard the ship--that will flush out those thousands of Yeerks placed aboard the ship.
     Emperor: ...A button?
     Builder 1: A flush button, if you will.
     Emperor: ...A button?
     Builder 2: Imagine a gigantic space toilet...Except, instead of flushing waste, you're flushing your brethern.
     Emperor: ... WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU EVEN BUILD A SHIP WITH SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

[greyscale_rainbow]

That last one was hilarious. Why was there the equivalent of a self destruct button on the Pool ship...I mean, really?

Yeerk Dispatcher: Attention, car 49, we have an AS situation at the mall. Two big cats fighting on the roof, over.
Car 49: AS situation? What does that mean?
Yeerk Dispatcher:...You know what it means.
Car 49: No I don't!
Yeerk Dispatcher: Wha...Oh, sorry, this is car 49, I meant to get car 32....Car 32, we have an AS situation at the mall, over.
Car 32: What?! Arghh, Andalite scum!
Yeerk Dispatcher: Noooo, we're supposed to use AS! You agreed!

[Dameg]

lol Nice one ^^ I never thought of using the "AS" acronym during the missions

[FATELUVR95]

*Cassie just morphed a donkey*
Jake: "Cassie"
Cassie: <What?>
Jake: "Your such an ass."

[TobiasMasonPark]

     (The Animorphs sneak into the Yeerk Pool)

     Marco: ANDALITES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     Visser Three: Ignore him, he's under the impression that we're undergoing a covert alien invasion.
     Jake: Hey Visser Three, we're breaking the Kandrona Ray, try and stop us!
     Chapman: Shouldn't we stop them, sir?
     Visser Three: No, they're pretty harmless, Iniss. Marv and Harry had some troubles with a boy who was left on his own for Christmas one year. Poor kid was under the impression that they were breaking into his house. These kids are just deluded.
     Tobias: Hey, Visser Three, I'm gonna claw everyone's eyes out.
     Tom: That sounds unpleasant. Why on Earth would he do that?
     Visser Three: Oh, they just got some bad information from Elfangor. Apparently, we're the bad guys.
     Chapman: Well that's not accurate. The Andalites came to OUR planet and gave US tools. They said we could leave whenever we wanted...
     Rachel: Hey Visser, I'm eating people here!
     Visser Three: Look away, boys. Look away.
     Tom: AH! Visser, she's got me!
     Chapman: Play dead, Temrash. If you don't move she may just let you go!

[Unknown User]

Rachel: We should probably retreat, we are no match for these yeerks, they'll win for sure.

[TobiasMasonPark]

     We should definitely have Jake introduce himself to random people in Part Two of "My name is Jake".

     You know what scene I'm talking about?

     The one at the very beginning, where Jake introduces himself for the billionth time; like the audience just forgot who he was?

     Have something like: "Hey there, I'm Jake. Wasup the name's Jake! Hey, you know whos saving the world? JAKE! Jake Berenson's the name, saving the world's my game!"
Post Merged: January 23, 2011, 10:42:06 PM     Builder 1: Alright, Mr. Emperor, sir. We know you were rather critical about our design for the Pool Ship--
     Emperor: YOU INSTALLED A BUTTON THAT FLUSHED YEERKS!
     Builder 1: --But we're sure you'll be thrilled once we tell you about our plans for the Pool Complex on Earth.
     Emperor: Is there a flush button?
     Builder 2: Of course not. We've learned our lesson.
     Emperor: Continue...
     Builder 1: Alright...Picture this: A dark, dank and musty underground cavern, placed hundreds upon hundreds of feet beneath Earth's surface...
     Builder 2: Now picture cages, located all over the pool, where we'll keep the involuntary controllers while their Yeerks feed.
     Emperor: And these cages are made of?
     Builders 1 and 2: Titanium Steel.
     Emperor: Excellent. Naturally, you'll have the entrances concealed from the eyes of the humans?
     Builder 1: Way ahead of you, Sire. We have chosen our best men for the locations to the Pool Complex.
     Builder 2: For example, we have one installed in a change room at the local GAP
     Emperor: Interesting...And what is this GAP, exactly?
     Builders 1 and 2: A local human market place.
     Emperor: ...
     Builder 1: Another is placed at MacDonalds
     Emperor: Is this MacDonald's person someone of importance?
     Builder 2: Yes, of the utmost importance.
     Builder: He opened a chain of human eating places. They are famous for the Big Mac.

     Emperor: ...I see...Anywhere else?
     Builder 1: A human school. Inside the Janitor's closet.
     Emperor: I see...So you've placed the entrances to our MOST important facility--the place that keeps us ALIVE!--in locations where humans are known to visit? Places that any wandering human can enter by mere chance?
     Builder: I'm sensing that you don't want to hear about our ideas about using Cows to take away human freewill?
     Emperor: Well...I don't have anything better to do...Go on
     Builder 2: Alright, pitcure this!     

[Baranth]

Cassie: Hey David, if you're tired of the barn, we have some robot friends with a really nice park, a TV, and beds they don't use.

Elimmist: Finally! The humans have died out, now the amazing potential of earth can finally be filled.  Go my little chinchillas! Be fruitful and multiply!

Rachel: This situation is un-beeaarrrr-able.

Crayak: I know it's against the rules, but can you cut me some slack this time?  I really need to go down to earth and get myself some Visine.

I'm pretty sure Cassie thought about saying that at one point...

(Pre-54 version)

Tobias: <Excuse me, Cassie. I have a question.>

Cassie: Yes, Tobias?

Tobias: <Could you please morph Rachel for me? I want to practice feeling her up.>

(Post-54 version)

Tobias: <Cassie... Could you do something for me?>

Cassie: Yes, Tobias. What is it?

Tobias: <Morph Rachel. I miss her.>

Marco: So do I!

David: <As do I!>

[TobiasMasonPark]

     Jake: Is he cuter than me?

     Marco: Yea, let me get my alien-to-english-dictionary.

     Cassie: Jake give me your shirt.

     Rachel: It's too cramped in here. I'm freaking out!

     Ten bucks if you guys can figure out where I got all of those.

[FATELUVR95]

     Cassie: Jake give me your shirt.

     Rachel: It's too cramped in here. I'm freaking out!

Book1: The Invasion
Book17: The Underground(during mole morph)

We should make a thread about quotes and have someone identify them(like what you just did)