Wierd-Rachel's bullying me in my nightmares

[Moanna]

hi, I'm new here, and I'm guessing after this post I won't be making any friends but hey, you guys are the animorph experts so who else do I ask?

(This is a wierd question, please answer with respect reguardless how strange it is.)

I used to read the books when I was like 9-13, and used to have really low self esteem. I'd have temper tantrums if i felt I was being attacked or bullied and I'm quite ashamed at the way i used to act and think.

I'm now 20, and have changed quite alot. I believe I have matured alot and see that I was a child with issues and not entirely evil, and my thinking is alot less black and white.

I started to re read the animorphs lately and gained a new sense of respect for the characters. I've started to dream about them again (My dreams are often vivid and I write them down) and I've noticed that in these dreams the characters are all kind to me except Rachel.

Now I used to have issues with beautiful, smart, confident girls. I felt threatened, but now quite frankly I like myself loads more so it doesn't bother me so much, but i'm having actual nightmares where Rachel is exceptionally cruel! Its freaking me out and I'm wondering why it's happening.

As my question shows I can be quite odd, forward, I dress abit emo like and love fantasy and comics and art. I also do have a darker, "rachel" side to me so why would the character dislike me so much? And what in your oppnions can I do to stem the nightmares?

(In my old dreams she used to hate me, but then like i said i used to have a temper so fair enough.)

Sorry if this is too wierd for anyone, but I would appreciate any answers. (even funny ones)
Thank you.

[Chad32]

I've had weirder dreams. I've had Animorphs dreams, but none of the characters picked on me. Except maybe Visser three, but he's Visser Three. What is a guy to do?

I don't know what to tell you. Just try getting out of the dream when she picks on you. My best way is to shut everything out by sitting down, closing my eyes, and thinking of anything other than that person or thing.

[Phoenix004]

Could be that reading the books again has reminded you of when you used to have similar nightmares, or maybe there's some kind of metaphorical meaning behind it that you're subconscious is trying to tell you. Or maybe it's just a dream and doesn't mean anything at all. Everyone has weird dreams, and as much as I'd like to try and find meaning in them, sometimes you just have to accept that they are meaningless.

Nice to meet you Moanna.

[morfowt]

Maybe because that "Rachel" is really visser three in morph... it's a possibility isn't it?

[Moanna]

Lol, i'm loving the idea that it's visser 3 in morph...

I'm guessing its subconsious, I'm just 1) worried that I'm not really over my childish insecurities

 and 2) worried that as there are people out there like Rachel (my own sister, also called Rachel funny enough) and if the pretend dream girl hates me what chance do I have in real life of people like that not being cruel.

Thank you for the greeting btw. 

[goom]

welcome to the forum!

and yeah, we've all had animorph dreams. weirder, sometimes.

[Faerie Larka]

It may be, at a subconscious level, you're still worried about people making fun of you.  Rachel epitomizes the smart, pretty, confident girl you disliked when you were younger.  Though it also may be that your subconscious is trying to make up for that by making Rachel abnormally mean.  In any case, though, I hope you do get over these dreams.

And welcome to the forum!!

[Estelore]

Welcome, Moanna, to RAF!

Might I suggest that there was perhaps something about Rachel that you saw in yourself and disliked? The things that the character Rachel hated in others were the things that she couldn't stand to see in herself, but she secretly admits to the reader that they are there: the fear beneath her courage, the anger and bloodlust of battle, the unconscious urge to take control when she oughtn't....

Rachel was a control freak, because she felt like her life was out of control.

Do you feel lost or trapped in some way, Moanna? It may be the source of your dreams. Find what keeps you locked inside yourself like that, and you may be able to rid yourself of the problem.

[musicman88]

So many deep thoughts in this topic...

[Moanna]

Well yeah, I used to be reckless, tempermental and tackless when younger. And i do feel i'm stuck in a rut in life atm, no job or college.

I do worry, what is it about me that is so bad that someone i admire as much as this character would hate in me.

[Faerie Larka]

Maybe once you're able to get out of the rut you'll have more confidence.  Then Rachel may stop being so mean in your dreams.

[Moanna]

I wonder how even a dream Rachel would respond to a confident person telling her to step off. 

[Faerie Larka]

Lol.  She would probably respect them for standing up to her.

[Moanna]

Maybe i should try that next time i dream

[Duff]

yea reoccuring dreams are always a much more blatant subconscious message. You are definitely bothered by something. Maybe reading animorphs reminds you of your childhood and how you were like as a child. Maybe rachel represents either the people who used to pick on you, or maybe she actually represents you, since you used to be like her. Whether you're in a rut or not, if you feel like you are then maybe Rachel is trying to get you out of it. Try being a little more reckless and assertive like you used to be and see where that gets you.

I hope you get it figured out