Animorphs Vs ISIS

[Tim Bruening]

What tactics would the Animorphs recommend using against ISIS?

[NothingFromSomething]

 

Why would they even be relevant to that particular can of worms?  It's not like the army exactly needs pointers on guerrilla warfare in a human context, any special forces branch would be a thousand times more adept at it than anything the kids could offer.

[Tim Bruening]

Why would they even be relevant to that particular can of worms?  It's not like the army exactly needs pointers on guerrilla warfare in a human context, any special forces branch would be a thousand times more adept at it than anything the kids could offer.

The Animorphs have plenty of practical experience in guerrilla warfare, so I figured that they might have opinions on how to defeat ISIS.  I bet that Rachael would be in favor of a brute force attack against ISIS, in which a large army would invade Iraq and Syria to stomp ISIS flat.

[NothingFromSomething]

They'd be...they'd be murdered, man. 

[Tim Bruening]

They'd be...they'd be murdered, man.

What if we sent an army of gorillas, bears, tigers, wolves, elephants, buffaloes, Andalites, Hork-Bajir, and birds of prey against ISIS (courtesy of the Morphing Cube)?

[NothingFromSomething]

They'd...blow the everloving **** out of them with their guns, like would always happen in any instance of humans V.S. animals if the humans are expecting it.

100 elephants?  100 bullets from high-powered rifles and someone who's a decent shot aiming it.

The kids only really succeeded against the Yeerks because the Yeerks were basically total newbies at warfare and had no idea what they were doing.

[Tim Bruening]

They'd...blow the everloving **** out of them with their guns, like would always happen in any instance of humans V.S. animals if the humans are expecting it.

100 elephants?  100 bullets from high-powered rifles and someone who's a decent shot aiming it.

The kids only really succeeded against the Yeerks because the Yeerks were basically total newbies at warfare and had no idea what they were doing.

Try a large army of Andalites and Hork-Bajir, both of which can carry weapons, and are both excellent close in fighters.   I doubt that ISIS would be ready for THAT!

Another tactic: Have my Animorph army morph small insects to sneak into ISIS facilities, then into the armories.  Then demorph, arm themselves, and attack from within.

Or use planes and helicopters to drop my morphed insects and birds onto the roofs of ISIS facilities, then have them descend to ground level, demorph, then morph into elephants to smash their way into the ISIS armories.

[Tim Bruening]

I am imagining the post Yeerk war era, and the Animorphs being hired by the Obama Administration to advise on how to stop ISIS.  Surely they can figure out how to use morphing against ISIS!

[spoiler]After all, in "The Beginning", Jake was training Special Forces people in morphing. [/spoiler]

[Tim Bruening]

How do you know ISIS would even exist in the animorphs universe? Maybe something from the yeerk-human-andalite war caused ISIS to never happpen.

Suppose the Elimist were to magically transport the Animorphs (including Rachel) to our universe.  What tactics would the Animorphs use against ISIS?  What tactic would they recommend that the US use against ISIS.

[YeerkSalad]

[spoiler]The Escafil Device was to be used for antiterrorism acts, remember? If they needed to, they could throw a couple bears at ISIS.[/spoiler]
The idea of Animorphs fighting ISIS makes me feel a little uncomfortable. It's not that fun.

In other news, I suddenly have an urge to write a ridiculous story about nazis riding dinosaurs in space and ultimately getting blown up by potatoes that turn out to be bombs.

I suddenly have an urge to frantically press the delete key.

I suddenly have an urge to... stop.

[YeerkSalad]

That wasn't what I meant! This was me running away from my post screaming "NOPENOPENOPENOPE JUST NOPE!! I'M DONE! NOPE!"

[Tim Bruening]

And why would the ellimist want to take the Animorphs on some non-yeerk related side mission in some other universe?

It would be part of his game with the Crayak, of course.

[NothingFromSomething]

Again, guys, assuming the guys with guns know about morphing and take planning precautions for it, they're completely annihilate them.  No animal's a match for weapons, no matter what it is.

They only succeeded because of the Stormtrooper factor, the Yeerks pretty rarely using dracons, and when they do, missing close to 100% of the time.

[Tim Bruening]

Again, guys, assuming the guys with guns know about morphing and take planning precautions for it, they're completely annihilate them.  No animal's a match for weapons, no matter what it is.

They only succeeded because of the Stormtrooper factor, the Yeerks pretty rarely using dracons, and when they do, missing close to 100% of the time.

I am imagining a version of ISIS arising after the war to assault Andalites, transformed Yeerks, and Hork-Bajir in the name of Allah.  To fight it, Andalites could sneak up on ISIS in flying insect morphs, then resume their normal forms to strike at ISIS with their tails!  I am hopeful that they could take ISIS by surprise in that manner.

[YeerkSalad]

Are you really 48 years old?