Author Topic: Crayaks Chronicles  (Read 2296 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

esplin

  • Guest
Crayaks Chronicles
« on: June 04, 2008, 12:25:57 PM »
I am no means a writer, but I have some ideas for this and think it could go well.
Enjoy and help me do better.

I ask Why.

There was The Almighty. And we all work for him. But the first question that us young Indonians always ask is what is The Almighty, all the old Indonians say is that, when he is mad the world shakes and when the world shakes we die, the collapse of shaft 245.69 was still fresh in my memory. The second question that we ask is, what is on the surface? There is no answer to that question.

I am Indonian #318,125,111 but the numbers are hard to remember, my friends refer to me as Crayak.  They say they say it’s the noise I make when I discover a good vein of plutonium but I disagree. I call them friends for lack of a better word, for we are all miners, and scientists for The Almighty and we don’t have time for much else.  It has always been a mystery to me why The Almighty, one with the infinite power of the world we live on and one we worship would want us learn and mine metals for him, it was true that the metals were used for statues to praise him, but most went into computers and machines to mine more metal, Crayak was a name to remember.

“CRAYAK!” my supervisor was yelling at me it was a strange time for me to be thinking about our culture, you see I was different I actually wondered, quite unlike most Indonians, “you missed your quota for lithium last cycle, if you don’t stop slacking I will weld your eye to the machine your operate.”

When old Indonians die, most die at a young age though from mining, it is physically tiresome work, they are incased in worthless metal and their bodies are dropped below.  There are lava pits and other planetary things below, we do not mine below, it is too dangerous.  Everyday I mine metals for The advancement of the Indonian race and for The Almighty although this isn’t true for some Indonians, others are scientists sometimes I am jealous of the scientist, but my work is easy on the mind.  When we are born we are chosen to be one of the other.

“Yes sir,”

I blinked my eye as I pushed through the dirt and rock with the Inscar, it is a digging machine that connects to my body and is controlled with my mind, to avoid wasting time with learning how to use the machine instructions on it are downloaded straight to my brain when needed.  This is also done with the scientist at an early age, to keep progressing forward toward the goal.  What that goal is, we don’t know.  The prophet of The Almighty knows, but he isn’t to tell us, and I have never seen him as he lives attached to the throne.

The throne was a direct connection to all the Indonian computers and to The Almighty himself, it is probably the easiest job there is, sit on the throne, and every 1000 cycles you deliver a message, and the message has never changed,  more digging, more worshiping of The almighty.

I was pushing further and further down, going further down then I would normally, I needed to meet 1000 kilograms of lithium or I would be welded, I wouldn’t put it past my supervisor to put in the order.  But as I pressed something strange happened, it started to get cool around me, and there was light shining from the rock ahead!

“Ah yes the Lithium, perfect.”

I liquidized the rock with the shock welder on the front of the Inscar, and I then used the tool to vacuum the liquefied rock into the tanks where it hardens into normal rock and can be removed,  this makes there no need to turn around during work, so we can just keep pressing forward.  But since I had what I needed I dumped my rock at the materials plant, which is quite far from the tunnel I was in but it is my duty to so I don’t complain.

“ATTENTION MINERS, NEW DOWNLOADS ARE REQUIRED FOR PUSHING FORWARD, REPORT TO THE RE-EDUCATION TUNNEL AFTER FILLING YOUR QUOTA.”



Offline Billy

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 199
  • Karma: 3
  • Gender: Male
Re: Crayaks Chronicles
« Reply #1 on: August 27, 2008, 09:26:33 AM »
Not bad, you should write some more!

Offline Chad32

  • God
  • ********
  • Posts: 11951
  • Karma: 195
  • Gender: Male
Re: Crayaks Chronicles
« Reply #2 on: August 27, 2008, 11:17:16 AM »
I have been wanting to read a sort of Crayak Chronicles ever since the Ellemist Chronicles failed to give a good background on Crayak. However, I wouldn't want to write it. It would surely be a dark tale, of the horror genre.  Not really my cup of tea.


Ani-Master 2014!

Offline yrkd88

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 323
  • Karma: 16
  • Gender: Female
Re: Crayaks Chronicles
« Reply #3 on: August 28, 2008, 02:30:40 AM »
Interesting...I've always wondered what Crayak's story was. This fic definitely has some potential^^.

Offline Nateosaurus

  • Superhero
  • God
  • ********
  • Posts: 17430
  • Karma: 443
  • Gender: Male
  • Now madness takes you, forever
    • My youtube :)
Re: Crayaks Chronicles
« Reply #4 on: August 28, 2008, 04:34:01 AM »
Great job Esplin! I like it so far!

And what're you talking about? You're a heaps good writer!
Most likely to have a superhero identity 2012
Best superhero duo 2012 (Team Phate)
Most likely to survive the zombie apocalypse 2013

esplin

  • Guest
Re: Crayaks Chronicles
« Reply #5 on: August 28, 2008, 11:33:21 AM »
lol i havent thought about this in foever and now its getting comments

Offline Azguard

  • God
  • ********
  • Posts: 7808
  • Karma: 219
  • Gender: Male
Re: Crayaks Chronicles
« Reply #6 on: September 01, 2008, 04:20:21 PM »
 Well...maybe it wouldn't have to be a horror genre. I can imagine the Crayak being a completely fully rounded and developed character....or...s ince he's alien...maybe the explanation of his complete descent into destroyer of worlds. Maybe he's disillusioned like the Howlers....maybe there actually is a very loving story, but tragic story behind it, maybe he is actually a created being and was created that way, maybe he's trapped in some sort of mind or political game with powers greater than himself, or maybe he's the by product of a past ancient war and was some sort of super military machine with an agenda to annihlate that has not been turned off....who knows?
RAFcrushin on Tyler. Come on, isn't everyone?

esplin

  • Guest
Re: Crayaks Chronicles
« Reply #7 on: September 02, 2008, 10:39:08 AM »
my main idea is that crayak was very ignorant at one point and then he was accidentally plugged into an infinite amount of understanding, driving him insane.

Offline acdc00420

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 23
  • Karma: -9
  • Gender: Male
Re: Crayaks Chronicles
« Reply #8 on: February 23, 2009, 10:45:21 PM »
its good wanna read more

Offline dolphin4077

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 202
  • Karma: 15
  • Gender: Female
Re: Crayaks Chronicles
« Reply #9 on: February 24, 2009, 01:29:52 PM »
I like it, looking forward to more.

esplin

  • Guest
Re: Crayaks Chronicles
« Reply #10 on: February 24, 2009, 02:45:40 PM »
XD I forgot I even did this..

Offline adamjared

  • RAF Ancient
  • Gold Donor
  • *********
  • Posts: 1302
  • Karma: 425
  • Gender: Male
  • .: One of the few remaining RAF Elders :.
Re: Crayaks Chronicles
« Reply #11 on: February 25, 2009, 01:01:38 AM »
very good! it's written in a very different style than the ellimist, but thats whats so perfect

Offline estrid

  • God
  • ********
  • Posts: 12820
  • Karma: 279
  • Gender: Female
  • LOL
Re: Crayaks Chronicles
« Reply #12 on: February 25, 2009, 01:12:03 AM »
esplin its actually pretty good. when u gonna finish it?

and i keep reading indonisians :P
" 'What do you care if he drains a few vegetables?' I asked. 'He's a vampire!' Chester snarled. 'Today vegetables....tomor row, the world!' " Bunnicula-a Rabbit Tale of Mystery




Jess is my RAFbest friend cuz she is way awesome!
Cody-my gayBFF for eva!
Coolest Member of the Year 2009

esplin

  • Guest
Re: Crayaks Chronicles
« Reply #13 on: February 25, 2009, 03:11:41 PM »
XD I made that word up, it's dumb, I know.  Maybe tonight I'll write some.  I'm feeling inspired.

Offline estrid

  • God
  • ********
  • Posts: 12820
  • Karma: 279
  • Gender: Female
  • LOL
Re: Crayaks Chronicles
« Reply #14 on: February 25, 2009, 03:12:33 PM »
doooooo it esplino!
" 'What do you care if he drains a few vegetables?' I asked. 'He's a vampire!' Chester snarled. 'Today vegetables....tomor row, the world!' " Bunnicula-a Rabbit Tale of Mystery




Jess is my RAFbest friend cuz she is way awesome!
Cody-my gayBFF for eva!
Coolest Member of the Year 2009