[DISCUSSION] Character Remakes and Mary-Sues.

[AniDragon]

Not sure if this is in the right section... If not, feel free to move it.

A friend of mine recently did something like this, where she compared her OC from her first draft of her fanfic to the current draft. Since my Pemalite Chronicles fic has been re-written so many times, I've decided to do something similar.

This is a character that you've only seen briefly so far, though she was originally the lead OC of the story, and the narrator. She'll probably end up being the narrator of the second part of the Chronicles, still.


So, if anyone has an Animorphs OC they'd like to do something similar with, feel free to post them! I'm sure that I'm not the only one who's done major fanfiction re-writes like this. Or if you just want to discuss the topic of OCs in general, and on what makes a Mary-Sue, especially in the Animorphs universe, you can use this thread for that, too.

------------

2009:
Name: Sonia Packer
Age:  15
Height: ???
Weight: ???
Race: Part Pemalite, part human (this is explained in more detail in my Pemalite Chronicles fanfic, which can be found on this site)

Hair: Medium brown, shoulder-length and frizzy/curly.

Eyes: Brown

Appearance: She's the type of person that doesn't quite stand out in a crowd. Few would ever call her ugly, but she could never be considered pretty, either. Her nose is too big for her face, and the rest of her body is very plain. She has a gold chain-link tattoo on her upper right arm.

Personality: She's extremely friendly, and a bit naive about the world around her. Like all the other Pemalites, her first instinct is to do good and to help others. Because of this, she has trouble wrapping her mind around the concept of evil and malice, and doesn't understand why others would want to harm people.

Family: Her family is a bit huge and complex, and thus I give you a family tree to simplify it.

Gary Evans - Pemalite (deceased) – (married) — Annette LeBlanc - Pemalite
|
|
Sandra (18), Daryl (16), Gabriel (16)


Christopher Packer - Human – (divorced) — Annette LeBlanc - Pemalite
|
|
Sonia (15)

William Tyler – human (?) – (married) — Annette LeBlanc - Pemalite
|
|
Lily (7)

How she meets the Animorphs: I haven't quite gotten to this part, yet, in the re-write, but I plan to have her meet the Chee first, and then get introduced to the Animorphs  later through them.

Additional notes: Because Earth's Pemalite colony has been there for so long, there are very few full blooded Pemalites left. Thus, I can't quite describe her as "half" human and "half" Pemalite. Her mother is almost purely Pemalite, but not completely.

------

1997-98
Name: Sonya Packer
Age: 13
Height: ???
Weight: ???
Race: Half-Pemalite, Half-Human

Hair: Medium brown, shoulder-length and frizzy/curly.

Eyes: Purple

Appearance: She has a very athletic build from her time on her school's track team. She has a gold chain-link tattoo on her arm that is later revealed to be a birth-mark indicating her Pemalite heritage.

Personality: She's very emotional, and quick to cry, especially when she's stressed. She's insecure about what others think about her, and so tends to get clingy on the few friends she has.

Family: Her family is similar to the above profile, with a few differences in names and genders of her siblings.

Gary Evans - Pemalite (deceased) – (married) — Annette LeBlanc - Pemalite
|
|
Sandra (18), Sally (16), Sandy (16)


Christopher Packer - Human – (divorced) — Annette LeBlanc - Pemalite
|
|
Sonya (15)

William Tyler – human (?) – (married) — Annette LeBlanc - Pemalite
|
|
Sherry (7)

How she meets the Animorphs: The Animorphs have rediscovered the Blue Box, and decide to expand their numbers. (Keep in mind, this was originally written before the David Saga) Since Sonya has just moved to the U.S., and has expressed her dislike of social clubs such as The Sharing, they figure that she'll be safe, and a good place to start. And so, after observing her for three days, they give her the power to morph.

Additional notes: I've completely lost track of the original story, but I seem to recall a sub-plot of Sonya actually loosing her memory either soon after, or soon before she's given the morphing power.



---------------------------------


So, lots of things have changed on this character. Her personality got a major re-haul, her name got a re-spelling... Her looks mostly stayed the same, though I got rid of the awful Mary-Sue purple eyes, and added a couple of physical flaws.

The changes in her family are actually quite minor. I was tired of all her siblings having names starting with the letter "S". I renamed Sherry to Lily very early on, and had renamed Sally and Sandy to... I believe Annie and Hannah. But, they were later changed to be male, and received the names Daryl and Gabriel. Sandra has stayed exactly the same throughout every re-write.

The biggest change is how she meets the Animorphs. I hope I can be forgiven for the original story by it having been written before the David Saga. Though even then, it's bad. ^^; I mean, for goodness sake, amnesia? Yes, that was the original meaning of the title "Last Thing on my Mind".  (Now it references how the Pemalites' survival was so unexpected... Or something)

I'd originally paired her up with Marco, and I'm debating on whether or not that should happen in the re-write. I suppose it all depends on how the story goes. But I'm thinking that with the way I've redone her personality, her naivety would bother him. I don't think he'd have the patients for her.

[Dameg]

Interesting. May you tell me (again) what makes a character is "Mary-Sue", please? I'd hate to make my characters "Mary-Sue" >_<

[Whammy]

Would these help you Dameg?:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Sue
http://www.springhole.net/quizzes/marysue.htm
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MarySue

[Dameg]

Thank you ^^ I learnt a lot, and compared my character (in my manga/novel) and, hopefully I think she won't be a Mary-Sue ^^

[Phoenix004]

I've been worried about my character in Animorphs Travels being a bit Gary Stu, but it's a little unfair since the whole point of the fic is supposed to be what I would do if I ended up in the Animorphs world. Besides that I think I'm okay, as my character is not perfect or universally loved or anything like that.

[AniDragon]

I think in a case like that, where the author-insert is very clearly stated as being an author-insert, especially since it's the point of the fic, then it's fine.

The danger of him becoming a Gary-Stu would really only be if it was an author-insert pretending to be an original character, as Sonia used to be for me. She wasn't exactly like me, and in fact was quite different on a lot of counts, but her personality was very much based on how I was at the time.

[Dameg]

My main characters in my first fanfiction are so far from me, so different to me, and so imperfect, they can't be Gary-Stu ^^ But I'm a little afraid for my new character... It's hard to make them interesting but not Mary-Sueish...

[AniDragon]

I think what you need to focus on when deciding things about your character, as far as making them interesting, is stuff like "does this add to quality to the story?", or "is there another character who does this already?". One thing you see often in Animorphs Mary-Sues is, like... another girl who's as good a fighter or better as Rachel. Or a guy who's funnier than Marco, and smarter than Ax, etc. It's okay to give your characters talent, so long as it's not a talent that another character already has.

Like with my Sonia, I have to be careful that she doesn't just become another Erek. Once we've seen the Pemalites' story, will her presence in the story even be relevant anymore? Or will people care enough about her character by then that it doesn't matter?

[Whammy]

My main characters in my first fanfiction are so far from me, so different to me, and so imperfect, they can't be Gary-Stu ^^ But I'm a little afraid for my new character... It's hard to make them interesting but not Mary-Sueish...

Just be careful though Dameg. Sometimes it is possible to go too far with the imperfection stuff you get this:

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AntiSue

You know what, it might help just to look at all of this:
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MarySueTropes

[Dameg]

Thanks for your help ^^ My character in my new story is just a usual girl, just very quiet and kind with... foreigners (aliens ) but she has faults like everybody, she isn't the cutest nor the strongest nor the most intelligent... Even the aliens who will like her won't be very respectful ("useless little Human" or "stupid kid" would be their favorite sentences lol)
Ok... maybe I can present her a little more, now I began... (but be careful, if you wanna read my manga (or my novel if you understand French), it'll spoil you a little ^^')
[spoiler]She's 16, her name is Hannah (English name even if she's French, but it arrives in France, I had friends who had English names), clear brown eyes and hair, she's 1m68 (5.51 feet), small breats and hips (but not so masculine... her face is ok lol), likes ample closes. She wanna be writer but her parents prefer she does long studies and has a "real job". When she first see the aliens who arrive in her city, she'll be a little surprise, but not aggressive to them, and will be one of the few villagers who will talk with them (kind of go-between, interpreter and mediator... so will be her father). She will leave Earth with the aliens to "write their story and know more about them and other aliens", but it's also because she's stressed and a little afraid about her future on Earth. Once she'll be in space, she'll follow those aliens, even if they're aren't always good guys (they're pirates... and hey, there aren't any "good guys" nor "bad guys" in my story...) and will do things she would regret after. The aliens will want she become useful, so they'll teach her how to ride/pilot a kind of air-scooter, and will have a "pet" (another alien who can understand everybody (he reads in minds) but can't speak like them, so nobody understand him ^^' she will slowly understand few feelings he'll send her) but except that, she'll be quite useless to them... She isn't very tall (for them) so they'll always think she's a little kid, and she's a "female" so they don't want she acts like "male" aliens. Her mind is softer than the aliens she lives with (must be because they're in a "war": other aliens "invaded" their planet and asked them to follow their rules... so some of them, who didn't agree, became pirates...).[/spoiler]

I think I didn't forget anything...
Do you think she's ok? Not too Mary-Sueish? What do you think about the story?

PS: I'm sorry for the off-topic...

[Duff]

Thanks to this thread I did some rewrites on my story to improve my OC's. Origionally they were very minor characters, cause the Animorphs are still the main, but as the story has been progressing they have become a much more important part of the story

Then I realized I was in trouble cause I had a bunch of names that were important but the characters were just saying what I needed them to say and doing what I needed them to do. So i went back and did a full profile for all of them and the story began to change based on saying, oh well he would never do that and oh you know what she'd be thinking now, and the end result is looking alot better for both the character and the story

[agentAK]

Kay, as nerdy as it is, my friend and I write dozens of our own self-insertion fics for a variety of fandoms. We end up with whomever we want (for Animorphs I get Ax and she gets Marco), we have really cool origins and kick a lot of a**. But it's meant to be self-insertion, and it's just for fun. We don't post them.

I'm actually the opposite. I think that a character based on, or that is, the writer can actually be better than an OC. Provided the writer doesn't give their insertion any favoritism, an insertion can be a better thought-out, more realistic character.

[AniDragon]

That's very true. I've seen some very well done author inserts, and let's face it, you can usually write a character better if you know them as well as you know yourself.

Now that I'm a bit more of a seasoned writer, I don't think I could do an author insert... I think I would be very annoying as a character. And any time I've tried in the past, I always end up giving my self-insertion character the personality that I had back in junior high, which is annoying to WRITE. I used to be such a whiny little thing...

The only part of me that I ever intentionally put into my characters is physical characteristics. My character Trixie (from my original story Scars) has the same body type, and Sonia has the same basic face as me (well, she has my nose, at least).

So, to summarize, author inserts can be good so long as the author is aware of the traps that s/he can fall into, and can recognize those traps should s/he fall into them.