Chapter 12: Final Chapter
Note: Sorry this is so long and some of the other chapters are so short. That's what happens when you don't really plan out a fic I guess. Anyway, this one's done. I hope you enjoyed reading it!
I learned a lot over the next few days. My training began almost immediately with the whole “you’ve got to watch out above you” speech. That’s where Tobias had been hiding the whole time.
After that we began to talk about different flying techniques: how to ride thermals properly, how to use the breeze to your advantage, how to fly not only like an average hawk but better, and other stuff like that.
It took a long time to get through only the basics of all that, so by the end both Tobias and I were starting to get hungry. And I knew what that meant.
There was no more going back to Cassie now that I had found Tobias. My hawk brain didn’t want to and my human brain didn’t have to. I got myself stuck as a hawk, and now I was ready to begin living like one. But that meant doing things that I was trying to avoid; hunting, killing, and eating my own food.
I think Tobias expected a bit too much out of me when he told me just to hunt for my own food. To me it wasn’t that easy. I knew that I should let my hawk brain take total control, but my human brain just wasn’t ready to let that happen. It was always second guessing my hawk instincts and almost all the time it was wrong. Needless to say that after a few horrendously failed attempts at catching my own food Tobias had to do it for me.
When he came back carrying a small mouse in his talons I knew what I had to do. There would be no fuzzy hotdogs anymore. I’d have to eat the whole thing. And to make matters worse this mouse was significantly smaller than anything Cassie gave me to eat, so I couldn’t just eat the good parts and throw the rest away. I’d have to eat everything I could.
When Tobias “handed” me the mouse I was a bit hesitant to do anything with it. But eventually I got it into a position where one of my talons was over the head and the other one was over the tail so I really couldn’t see either. Only then could I begin to eat.
It was hard. It was a lot harder to eat then the rat Cassie had given me. It was just so small and had so little good meat that I had to end up eating things that I never thought I’d ever eat. But eventually I came to the point where I could eat no more. I wasn’t quite full, but I wasn’t exactly hungry either.
Tobias was amused at my eating attempt. It was the first time all day I heard him break out of his empty sounding voice and almost laugh.
After I let what remained of the mouse drop to the ground Tobias went over a laundry list of things that I either did wrong or needed to improve on. Hearing him say some of the things he said made me want to hurl, but I listened anyway. Whether I liked it or not this was going to be my life from now on and I needed to know everything I could.
We went over a few more minor things before the sun started to make its way down. Tobias suggested that I stay in his meadow tonight and I wasn’t going to disagree. He made me realize just how dangerous it could be to spend the night somewhere strange and new. If a really hungry owl was looking for an easy target and I wasn’t hidden well enough then it was game over for me. And I couldn’t even morph out of my injuries if the owl didn’t get a good enough shot to kill me. So I spent the night with Tobias in his own meadow. The hawk in me really didn’t like sharing a meadow with another hawk; it wanted its own meadow. But there’d be plenty of time to get my own meadow when I was ready.
The next few days consisted of me learning everything I could from Tobias. It was great to have someone like him around to help. I was nowhere near ready to do this on my own no matter what I thought. If it wasn’t for Tobias then I’d either be dead or still living in Cassie’s barn. Either way it wouldn’t have been pretty.
I was starting to become pretty good at being a hawk after the first week or so. I had learned to fly quite nicely and had even snuck up on Tobias a few times myself. I had learned to live with and maybe even enjoy eating small rodents and the like. I still wasn’t so good at catching them, but Tobias always helped when he could. Although I welcomed his help it was beginning to bother me. I didn’t want to have to rely on someone else. I was the exact same hawk that Tobias was, so I should be able to do everything that he did. But I knew that I still had a lot to learn, so for now I welcomed his help.
Things were going good for me. I had gotten enough experience by this point so I figured I’d try to go for my own meadow soon. But there were a few things that stopped me. The first one was Rachel’s funeral.
We had learned about it from Toby. It’s where we got most of our news of the outside world. Andalites had found her body floating out in space and they had brought her back to Earth so she could have a proper funeral.
I wasn’t sure what to expect from Tobias, but after some thought he said that he wanted to go. I didn’t want to question him or argue with him. And besides, I wanted to go too. I didn’t know Rachel all that well, but she was still part of the Animorphs. And from what I heard from Cassie she’d done more than her part in helping the Animorphs win the war. It was the least I could do for her.
So when the day of the funeral came Tobias and I made our way over. At first we just kept a good distance away so as to not attract any attention to ourselves, but we started to get closer when the ceremony began. I ended up perching in a tree not far from the edge of the field where the ceremony was taking place while Tobias continued to circle up above.
When the ceremony was over I looked up to see where Tobias was, but I didn’t see him in the sky. It was only when I looked back at the ceremony that I saw him. He had landed on Rachel’s urn and was somehow able to get enough lift to carry it with him as he flew away. A few people tried to stop him, but I don’t think there was any way that he was going to be stopped.
With some major flapping he was able to get the urn over the treetops. I was about to say something to him, but he said something to me first. Wait a while before following me, he said as he flew off into the distance. I didn’t question him, I just did what he told me to.
Shortly after that everyone started to go home. I waited until most of the people had already left before taking off myself and following the route Tobias took.
Not that far from the ceremony, sitting right in the middle of a field really close to the main road, I saw the urn Tobias had carried off. He had placed it in an easily findable place so if anyone came looking for it they could find it. Whatever he was planning to do with it probably hadn’t worked. He must have gotten tired of carrying it while coming to his senses.
When I got back I saw him morphed into his human form and crying. I just landed next to him to let him know I was there for him. It wasn’t until much later that I learned what he had done. He had left the urn on the ground because it was too heavy, but he had opened it up and taken a talon full of Rachel’s ashes. Then, as he made his way back to our meadow, he released them into the air. He said it was so Rachel could keep on flying by his side forever. It was a very sweet thing for him to do in my opinion.
Anyway, that wasn’t the only thing that kept me from getting my own meadow. The second and by far the most important thing was the fact that the Hork-Bajir were being relocated.
Besides me, Toby was the only other person Tobias really talked to. If we both had some free time we would usually make our way over to the Hork-Bajir valley and just hang out. It’s how we got our news about the outside world and also just killed some time. So when the decision was made by the United States Congress to move the Hork-Bajir to Yellowstone both Tobias and I were a bit shocked. We could’ve gone on living here by ourselves, but neither of us wanted to do that. Toby and the other Hork-Bajir had become friends to me and they’ve been friends with Tobias ever since he helped rescue them. They helped us both keep our minds off of what happened in the past few weeks whenever we visited them, so we wanted to stay with them. That’s why we both quickly decided to follow them to Yellowstone.
The trip was kind of tough. Originally the government wanted to bring in tons of trucks and ship the Hork-Bajir that way, but eventually Toby and by now Cassie got them to forget about that. They were perfectly happy making their own way there and that’s what they did. Only those who couldn’t make the journey (very young kids and a few of the critically sick) had to ride in trucks.
The government made a whole scene out of it though so Tobias and I couldn’t just follow along with them. The Hork-Bajir made stops in every major city between California and Wyoming; some were even hundreds of miles off course. Tobias and I followed about a day or so behind the Hork-Bajir. It wasn’t that hard. We just followed the trees with stripped tree bark and the cities that were tearing down elaborate welcome signs.
After about a week or two of flying however we finally made it to our new home. And the first thing all of us realized was that it was cold. Really cold. None of us had ever really experienced this level of cold since we were all accustomed to living in sunny California our whole lives. It was hard getting use to it at first, but Tobias and I had natural protection from the cold. We just had to learn how to use it effectively. And learn we did. The first week or so of living there we had shared a meadow just so we could stay close and keep each other warm during the even colder nights, but after that we both seemed to get use to it. And it wasn’t long before I became ambitious and tried to go after a meadow of my own.
It was late winter so there were some decent meadows to choose from (Tobias had gotten the best one like usual). But all the really good ones were still inhabited by other hawks. Food got scarce in the winter, so if a hawk was still alive at this time then that must mean they had a really good meadow. And I knew that if I wanted to stay here all season I needed one of those.
Tobias helped me scout out a decent one with a weaker looking hawk guarding it. I wasn’t exactly the smallest hawk around, but there were definitely bigger ones. I needed someone that I thought I could intimidate, and after searching around a bit we found just the right spot.
The meadow was very nice indeed. It was upstream just a bit from Tobias’ so all sorts of animals would stop by and take a drink in the summer. And since the stream didn’t completely freeze in the winter there were still some animals who came by every now and then. The hawk that currently had it was a decent size, but Tobias helped psyche me up before hand. When I was ready I swooped on down and began my assault.
It wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be really. A bit of wing flaring to make myself look bigger and a bit of screeching was all really took. He knew it would be in his best interest if he gave the meadow to me, so that’s what he did. I watched him fly off with such a sense of pride in myself that I can’t explain it. I had done it. I had finally gotten my own meadow. I was finally going to be a true hawk.
After I had my own meadow I settled into being a real hawk. Winter was just about over and spring was starting to make it’s way back in. And since I had a good meadow now there was always plenty of food. I still wasn’t all that great at catching it, but there was always plenty there.
The summer flew by faster than I thought and before I knew it winter was back. And let me tell you it wasn’t easy this time. Tobias and I arrived here late in the winter the previous year so we managed to get by, but now we had to endure the entire winter. Food became scarce, and coupled with my problems with catching food I was usually hungry. Tobias always offered to help me out when I needed it, but I hated getting help from him. We were both the exact same hawk, so why should he be catching more food than me? I guess it just frustrated me a bit. I only took his help a few times and that was only when I really needed it.
But eventually the winter faded away and was replaced by spring once again. And I was in for a serious surprise this time; I got myself a mate.
I wasn’t planning on it that’s for sure. It just sort of happened. I was just flying around one spring day when my hawk mind began to take over. And before I knew it I had courted and mated with a young female hawk. It felt incredibly awkward afterwards, but I was too busy after that to worry about it. I had to build a nest, take care of the eggs, and find food for all my chicks once they hatched. Being a parent is a full time job.
It was only after they all left the nest that I had time to think about it a bit. It was incredibly weird to be the male in the relationship and even weirder to be mating with a hawk and having hawk children, but it just felt right to my hawk brain. And even my human brain felt a sense of pride whenever I saw one of my “kids” flying around anywhere. Despite everything that was wrong with it though I did it all over again with the same female hawk the next year; this time on my own free will.
The next year or so went by smoothly as well. I had a good life and I was happy living it out to the fullest. But sometimes things show up out of the blue, and this time it was Jake. I wasn’t there when he arrived because I was out taking a flight, but Tobias told me all about it when I got back.
Jake said that Ax had been captured by someone in outer space somewhere. The Andalites couldn’t go and look for him because the ship that captured him had gone into restricted Andalite space. So since the Andalites couldn’t do anything about it Jake was forming a mission to go after him.
There was a long pause after he finished explaining everything to me before he finally said, <Jessie, I’m going. And I’m not sure when or even if I’m coming back.>
There was another long pause after that as I thought about what he said. I knew that Ax was Tobias’ best friend and he had even visited us a few times over the years. But they weren’t just friends though. The bonds that they made fighting along side each other for all those years had made them something even closer. And I knew that Tobias would do anything for him if he could. But I also looked around at everything he had here. He’d be throwing away his peaceful life along with some of his friends; namely all the Hork-Bajir along with me.
But I knew him well enough to know that he needed to make his own choice, and he already had. <I understand>, I said back to Tobias after a long pause. If I knew those would be my last words I ever said to him I would’ve thought of something better to say, but when I woke up the next morning he was gone.
Just like the band Cinderella said, “You don’t know what you’ve got, till it’s gone.” And that was definitely true for Tobias. We had become close over the past few years. It was like he was my big brother or something. He always knew the answer to all of my questions, hawk related or not. He taught me almost everything I knew about being a hawk. If it wasn’t for him I would’ve been dead long ago or maybe still living at Cassie’s barn eating hamburger meat out of a Tupperware container. He took care of me when I needed it and sometimes even when I didn’t need it. He was just always there for me. Whether another hawk was trying to take over my territory or when we both just sat and cried about our past he was there. I was my own independent hawk by now, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t need Tobias around anymore.
It’s been over a year now and I haven’t heard of any word from Tobias or any of the others. I can’t say that I didn’t expect it to go this way, but I still have to hold out a bit of hope. That’s why I finally decided to share my story with everyone. Not only was it because I wanted people to see a side of Tobias that they might not normally see, but I wanted to leave him a message just in case he ever came back.
Tobias wasn’t exactly a juvenile when I acquired him and I’m starting to feel it now. Nothing’s seriously wrong with me yet, but I can slowly begin to feel death creep back upon me. It’s a feeling that I’ve had to live with most of my life so it’s nothing new, but there was one thing I wanted to tell Tobias but never had the chance. If he ever comes back while I’m still alive I’ll be sure to tell him, but just in case I’m gone I want him to know something.
Thanks Tobias. Thanks for everything. You didn’t have to help me. You could’ve easily just kept quiet when I flew by your old meadow. And even if you were just curious as to who I was you could’ve kept yourself hidden from me after I told you. But you didn’t. You helped me tremendously when I needed it the most and I never thanked you for it. And if you never do come back for whatever reason then I’ll be sure to tell you the exact same thing when I meet you wherever it is we’ll meet again; you can be sure of that. Thank you.