I'm Bored & depressed,
while I'm Laying here, I see the blade,
I Open it.
The temptation tO cut is too much It's warm, it invites me to open it.
Dropping it to my skin,
I run it Forwards and backwards
bLood flows from underneath the blade.
Taking the blade away frOm my skin,
I see the Wound, and I think
'That'll become a Scar', and still the blood flows.
My wounds
Hurt, i long to feel the pain thoUgh.
The only consTant in my life is the pain.
Everything swIrls around me
It's all out of controL.
All except the pAin.
I Try so hard to make
ThIngs make
SOme amount of sense.
but Nothing does!
Their laughter It rolls across the field,
it Chills me
no one Understands me.
The blade is there in my pocket
It's warm, it invites me To open it.
My callOussed feelings I hate,
To throw them away From me, I run the blade
Across my arm longing to fEel something
the coldnEss of my heart I long to get
rid of someone heLp me!
People
are Always
Insulting me
No one is
carIng
So I
Jab, poke, & open my skin.
Relief flOods in, as the blood flows out
Ahh joY!
Thin
Hot
wEt
Blood
Laces
Across my
BoDy
ForEver I am dying!!
Every Minute that passes signals another
piece of mY heart that
dieS!
Every persOn that hurts me is marked by another
cUt, another lost piece of
souL and heart.
Why Does no one care,
Why do they have to Insult me?
What fun do thEy get out of it that makes it worth
murdering someone? Don't they See me dying here alone.
Forever my death approaches
AprOaching but never ending
I'm always Running from it but
I nEver can get away from it.
NeVer able to get away from the blade.
So instEad i embrace it,
YeaRning for it's cold touch.
The colD touch rejuvenates me & wakes me.
No longer do i run awaY from the blade
Instead i embrace it,
But still Now i am forever
DyinG.
A long time
Since the last cut and burn
buT my soul cries out for
tHe blade once again
shE never can know what
She did
tO me. her beytrayal
hUrt more than she knows
Lies are my only solace.
Crying out for love, i must
deny heR only solace, for to accept
love's gIft will complicate matters
morE. Will life ever get better or will
the Silent blade be my only embrace.
Failure, the term that defines my life.
A year and a half of denying
It's only solace, the blade now
Lies in my hand, I cut with it and it released the
pUre exstacy that only blood
Reveals. THen the pain returns, worse than ever. THe betrayal of
Everyone is now compounded by the betrayal of self.
I've struggled through, jaded by the
Violent past that haunts me, that leaves me screaming for the solace I can't find.
Everything I want, has been torn from me.
God seems to have forsaken me, the only solace
I find is in the blade, part of me longs to see violent red streams of blood pour from my
Veins.
Eating into the flesh, I have been satisfied by the blade's pain, but the healing pain ends, and I am left with
Nothing but the hurtful pain i began with. Will this blade satisfy me temorarily, or will
It become too much, will I cut too deep, do I need to cut too deep? I've given my all for my love, for my friends, for my past love, and all I
Take away from it is a dirtied soul, a betrayed soul.
All I have is Love's only solace, but I cant give her my
Love, for it has been dirtied, and is not a gift worth of her holiness. Dear
Love, Dear Ana, know that my body is yours, but my soul is dead, buried alive by the past. I've given it all.