Richard's Animorphs Forum

General Category => General Fan Fiction & Art => Topic started by: wotw2112 on June 22, 2009, 09:26:16 PM

Title: Introduction
Post by: wotw2112 on June 22, 2009, 09:26:16 PM

I have posted this in various places (facebook and a few other "writers" sites) but I never get any useful feedback.  Maybe here will work better.

A brief introduction: I have been working on writing a series of books for some time.  Below is the current introductory paragraph that I have adopted. 

So it makes sense: the book is supposed to be a tale of events as told by a historian (also a character) who saw them first hand.  Essentially he wrote a historical account of all that happened.  The actual book is a "story" version of that historical account (think movie version of some historical event - or a bard recounting some historical event).  The passage below is like a "foreward" written for the historical book by someone who read it years after the actual events occured.  I don't know if that makes sense.

As a note: this is MY intellectual property.  I work hard on it.  Please do not steal or "borrow".

Either way: please read below and let me know what you think (about anything).  Specifically, should I keep the last line or cut it?  I have a friend who hates it.  Says it pulls the gravity out of the prior line.

Enjoy (or don't):

He was a man who few people ever really noticed.  A man who, to those who did not know him, seemed of little consequence, easy to ignore and easier to forget for he would seldom speak and even then did so softly.  Perhaps such a legacy should not be surprising for a man surrounded, as he had been all his life, by weaker flames who wished so badly to burn more brightly.  But he would have had it no other way for he was a creature born to witness.  To hear, to see, and to record.

Many have said that his was a god-given mission but I know nothing of that.  What I do know is that it is through his efforts, dear reader, that you receive a rare gift indeed: the gift of truth. 

And so remember that man as his tale begins in a most unlikely place…

Title: Re: Introduction
Post by: Mr. Guy36 on June 24, 2009, 07:35:54 AM

I love the idea. What you have is definitely written well, and I really hope I will be able to see more later.

Title: Re: Introduction
Post by: Faerie Larka on June 24, 2009, 03:13:15 PM

I like it.  You're writing style seems good, but I'd need more to go off of.  From what I can see, though, it sounds excellent.

I'm looking forward to reading more if you decide to post it.

Title: Re: Introduction
Post by: wotw2112 on June 25, 2009, 07:50:31 PM

I will probably post the section that immediately follows the opening when I get around to it (as I think it helps explain the final line's presence).  Maybe some of my fictitious quotations as well as they need some work.

Thanks for the encouragement.