Ok, this is a story i wrote for my english class... please tell me what you think!
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Dominic had been driving all night and he was looking forward to finally seeing his elderly mother out of the hospital for a change. Driving down the Interstate highway to get to Sweetwater where his mum happened to live, he noticed that there happened to be a lack of other cars on the highway. Shrugging it off as nothing, he turned off the interstate because it was starting to get late. If it wasn’t for the fact that he needed to get some petrol, Dominic would have just kept on driving.
Turning into the town, he pulled his car to a stop in a small parking lot near an alleyway and some shops. Pulling into the spot near the road, he turned his car off, locked the doors and shifted himself into the passenger seat of his car.
When Dominic woke up the next morning, he saw that the town looked deserted. The town looked like it had been deserted for quite a while. Getting himself back over the centre console of his car, he turned the key in the ignition, only for it to sputter and die.
“Damn, no gas” he muttered to himself. Taking the key and placing it in his pocket, he wound the window down, and took in a breath of ‘fresh’ morning air. As the air hit his nostrils, he smelt something funny. On the air, Dominic could swear that the air had a slight metallic tang to it. He brushed it off as nothing as he wound the window back up. Stepping out of the car, he saw that there was no one in the streets. “Hmm. That’s strange” He thought as he locked his car and took a look around. As he was looking around the parking lot, he could have sworn that something had dashed into the alleyway on the opposite side of the car park.
Opening up the car’s trunk, he pulled out a large flashlight. Pushing the boot-lid closed, he headed in the direction of the alleyway. Heading into the alley, he felt a large, cold chill run down the back of his neck, heading down his spine, causing him to shiver, and pull his thick jacket closer around himself.
After about five minutes of walking he got the feeling that he was being watched from somewhere. Stopping dead in his tracks, he could see his breath coming out in big, frosty plumes in front of him. Flicking the torch on, its narrow beam of light stabbed at the gathering darkness around him. Looking at his watch, he saw that it had stopped, and for some strange reason, it was getting dark. “Man, this is just too damn creepy.” He said to himself as he turned around and headed back the way he came from.
Another five or so minutes of wandering around in the alleyways, Dominic couldn’t find the way back to where he parked his car. Giving up, he turned around again, and headed even deeper in. Shining his torch on the ground in front of him so he didn’t trip on anything, he got the same feeling that he was being watched. Gathering his wits about him, he just kept on walking, while gripping his heavy torch just that little bit tighter. The alleyway that Dominic then saw that he had found himself in looked like it had been left unkempt for ages. There were rusty shopping carts all over the place, empty cardboard boxes and even a few upturned rubbish bins.
All of a sudden, Dom heard a sound coming from behind him. Whipping around and shining his torch around, he saw nothing strange. ‘Just the wind’ He thought to himself as he put it off as nothing, although deep in his mind, Dominic felt that he was being followed by something, but he just didn’t want to admit that he was afraid.
Turning back around, he kept on going as though nothing had just happened. Nearing the end of the alleyway, he found himself in a deserted street. There were no cars parked on the side of the road, the shops looked like they had been abandoned and there were hardly any street lights on. ‘Hang on a moment. Just before I went into the alleyway, it was morning! Now it’s almost dark? What on earth is going on here?’ All of a sudden, from the alleyway Dom heard a rustling noise. Figuring it was just a dog, he went to look. Shining the torch back into the entrance, he saw nothing but an old crate pallet fall over and crash on the ground.
The sound that the pallet caused when it had smashed should have woken up the whole neighbourhood, although when he decided to look again around the street he saw no lights turn on, no noise; apart from the wind blowing though the street – and a distant, yet still loud noise coming from down the road, from what he could guess was some kind of a church, due to the silhouette that the steeple created because of the sun setting behind it.
Walking down the road towards the building, Dominic could hear a rustling noise coming from behind him. Turning around, there was nothing that could have caused the noise. With a chill running down his spine, Dominic turned around and started running.
Running for his life, Dominic kept on glancing over his shoulder, hoping to get a glance at what was chasing him. Whenever he looked, he could swear that he saw some of the shadows move and flitter around the houses. Finally getting to the front door of the church, with clenched fists, he pelted on the door shouting “Let me in! For the love of God, please let me in!”
Calming down, now that he was on sacred ground, he could swear that he heard a gross-sounding noise coming from inside the church. From outside it sounded like someone was beating something soft and mushy against a wall. It was a soft, yet at the same time the sound carried throughout the deserted grounds. It was a disgusting squelching sound.
Turning the handle of the big oaken doors, when Dominic pushed them open, a blood curdling scream escaped from his lips.
