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Author Topic: Funny things to say to the librarian  (Read 5188 times)

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Offline AllyVP

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Funny things to say to the librarian
« on: October 27, 2011, 11:44:06 PM »
You know those librarians who look at us adults weird when we check out the Animorph books?  Well, to entertain myself I have decided to say the most outrageous things possible when they do that.

my two ideas so far (oh, i'm 20):

*big smile*
"I'm reading CHAPTER books now!"

and

"Yeah, my 10 year old son discovered these and just LOVES them."

Any ideas?  I really want to run with this but I lack in the creatively-messing-with-people department.
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Offline goom

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Re: Funny things to say to the librarian
« Reply #1 on: October 28, 2011, 01:51:42 AM »
"join usssss"

"i will return this book in three of your days"
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warren_bearclaw

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Re: Funny things to say to the librarian
« Reply #2 on: October 28, 2011, 08:01:22 AM »
*lean in real close and tap the book cover with a real serious expression...*

"This lady knows EVERYTHING......."

*maintain serious expression as you walk out the door, looking over your shoulder.*
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Offline Estelore

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Re: Funny things to say to the librarian
« Reply #3 on: October 28, 2011, 10:46:53 AM »
"Say, would you mind not telling anybody I checked this out? Can't have them figuring out I know. Oh, and maybe delete my name and address from your records? If I let them find me... well, I won't let them find me... *whispering* Everyone's in really big trouble. Yeah. Even you."
*look around at the corners of the room for cameras, pause a beat with a terrified expression, then dash out the door*
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esplin

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Re: Funny things to say to the librarian
« Reply #4 on: October 28, 2011, 11:12:17 AM »
Look at her straight in the face and say, "I read children's books."
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Offline AllyVP

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Re: Funny things to say to the librarian
« Reply #5 on: October 28, 2011, 01:59:42 PM »
hahaha!!!! oh man, you guys are great!!!
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Offline yunyun

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Re: Funny things to say to the librarian
« Reply #6 on: October 28, 2011, 02:26:37 PM »
scream "yeerk" or "andalite" at the librarian
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Offline SkyMorpher

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Re: Funny things to say to the librarian
« Reply #7 on: October 28, 2011, 04:07:00 PM »
Oh man, I wish someone would do that when I'm working lol
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Offline pandas795

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Re: Funny things to say to the librarian
« Reply #8 on: October 29, 2011, 06:36:04 PM »
"I really like cinnabuns.....bunz"
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Offline TobiasMasonPark

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Re: Funny things to say to the librarian
« Reply #9 on: October 29, 2011, 10:10:14 PM »
     "It's not for me...I'm just holding it for a friend..."
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Offline Blazing Angel

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Re: Funny things to say to the librarian
« Reply #10 on: October 30, 2011, 01:14:37 AM »
*Dead serious face* "This taught me more about the nineties than living in them did."
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NateSean

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Re: Funny things to say to the librarian
« Reply #11 on: November 05, 2011, 06:55:59 AM »
"My therapist told me to read one of these whenever I get the urge to set something on fire. You wouldn't happen to have the whole series would you?"
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Offline DinosaurNothlit

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Re: Funny things to say to the librarian
« Reply #12 on: November 05, 2011, 07:26:52 PM »
*go into the library with a library card with parts of it whited out*
Librarian: "Excuse me, this card doesn't have your last name on it . . ."
You: "I can't tell you my last name.  You might be one of them."
Librarian: ". . . Oookay.  Er, it doesn't say where you live, either."
You: "I can't tell you where I live.  Just believe me when I say it's a real town.  It could even be your town."
Librarian: " . . . "

"Can you please hurry it up a little?  I've got, like, five minutes left in this morph."

"You know what they say.  Know your friends well, know your enemies better."  *serious nod*

*put a book from one shelf onto a different shelf*
"There.  I have now shamelessly destroyed the symmetry of this shelf, undoing hours of labor by underpaid library employees."
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Offline Blazing Angel

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Re: Funny things to say to the librarian
« Reply #13 on: November 05, 2011, 07:45:53 PM »
*canned applause*
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Offline SkyMorpher

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Re: Funny things to say to the librarian
« Reply #14 on: November 05, 2011, 11:28:51 PM »
Quote from: DinosaurNothlit on November 05, 2011, 07:26:52 PM
*put a book from one shelf onto a different shelf*
"There.  I have now shamelessly destroyed the symmetry of this shelf, undoing hours of labor by underpaid library employees."

Where'd that one come from?

And I can never seem to catch whoever's doing that...I just find them already out of place. (I wish they'd put out a basket or something.) But yes, it does give people like me more work lol.
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Offline DinosaurNothlit

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Re: Funny things to say to the librarian
« Reply #15 on: November 05, 2011, 11:33:56 PM »
Quote from: AniMel23 on November 05, 2011, 11:28:51 PM
Quote from: DinosaurNothlit on November 05, 2011, 07:26:52 PM
*put a book from one shelf onto a different shelf*
"There.  I have now shamelessly destroyed the symmetry of this shelf, undoing hours of labor by underpaid library employees."

Where'd that one come from?

Book #49.  Ax does something similar in a grocery store.
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Offline SkyMorpher

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Re: Funny things to say to the librarian
« Reply #16 on: November 06, 2011, 12:02:15 AM »
Oh yeah, I thought of that. The convenience store thing.
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Offline Gankhruun

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Re: Funny things to say to the librarian
« Reply #17 on: November 06, 2011, 03:50:06 AM »
Quote from: DinosaurNothlit on November 05, 2011, 07:26:52 PM
*go into the library with a library card with parts of it whited out*
Librarian: "Excuse me, this card doesn't have your last name on it . . ."
You: "I can't tell you my last name.  You might be one of them."
Librarian: ". . . Oookay.  Er, it doesn't say where you live, either."
You: "I can't tell you where I live.  Just believe me when I say it's a real town.  It could even be your town."
Librarian: " . . . "

"Can you please hurry it up a little?  I've got, like, five minutes left in this morph."

"You know what they say.  Know your friends well, know your enemies better."  *serious nod*

*put a book from one shelf onto a different shelf*
"There.  I have now shamelessly destroyed the symmetry of this shelf, undoing hours of labor by underpaid library employees."

Woah, what kinda library card do you have? I think having your address on a library card violates certain privacy laws... o_O

My library card only contains my last name and is read by a computer for more specific details like phone number and adress.

Anyway.

"Me like reading at paper"
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Offline DinosaurNothlit

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Re: Funny things to say to the librarian
« Reply #18 on: November 07, 2011, 08:17:33 PM »
Okay, okay, so I actually don't know anything about library cards.  I just figured that different libraries would have different rules, and so somewhere there had to be a library card with an address on it.

*upon returning a book*
"This book was not very tasty.  It could have used some grease-uh and salt."
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Offline pandas795

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Re: Funny things to say to the librarian
« Reply #19 on: November 09, 2011, 08:52:16 PM »
"I am sorry if this book is overdue, I was trapped in a morph as a caterpillar and I had to wait until I turned into a butterfly to morph back....turns out morphs by nature resets your morphing clock" ;D
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Offline Dogman15

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Re: Funny things to say to the librarian
« Reply #20 on: November 10, 2011, 04:34:35 AM »
I live in Contra Costa County, California. The libraries in this county work as a group, as branches. You get one library card with your signature, a barcode, and the a number. Most numbers I've seen start out "2 1901" and I've memorized my old library card number that no longer works (but I haven't memorized my current number!) My old number (don't bother trying, you'd need the last four digits of my phone number) was 2 1901 01362 5904.
Anyway, all of the CCC libraries I've been in have self-checkout machines, where it scans the barcodes on the book(s) and your card. In other words, dealing with a librarian just to check out a book is optional.
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VisserZer0

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Re: Funny things to say to the librarian
« Reply #21 on: November 12, 2011, 01:55:07 AM »
Yeah, but why miss a perfectly good chance to mess with people? :D
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Offline SkyMorpher

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Re: Funny things to say to the librarian
« Reply #22 on: November 12, 2011, 09:11:19 PM »
Quote from: Dogman15 on November 10, 2011, 04:34:35 AM
I live in Contra Costa County, California. The libraries in this county work as a group, as branches. You get one library card with your signature, a barcode, and the a number. Most numbers I've seen start out "2 1901" and I've memorized my old library card number that no longer works (but I haven't memorized my current number!) My old number (don't bother trying, you'd need the last four digits of my phone number) was 2 1901 01362 5904.
Anyway, all of the CCC libraries I've been in have self-checkout machines, where it scans the barcodes on the book(s) and your card. In other words, dealing with a librarian just to check out a book is optional.

We have that where I work, but not all libraries in our system do. (we aren't branches, although it was that way where I grew up. We're a group of city libraries in association, and then several systems are combined as one big northern Illinois system. And no, Chicago isn't part of us, although they're in the expanded system. CPL's a system of its own, with branches.)And I still notice a lot of patrons using the desk check-out.

Our cards are kinda like that but they all start with 2 I think. 2 means it's a patron/card, 3 is the book prefix. Then four numbers, then five, then four.
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Offline Estelore

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Re: Funny things to say to the librarian
« Reply #23 on: November 14, 2011, 04:48:50 PM »
For the longest time, our only web access was through the local library, on Asher's mother's account. Her mum would send us to look up a job site on MapQuest and print it off for her, and that bought us a good half hour online time. We still have the old number memorized, 2 0183 0054 94265. :]

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The universe is, instant by instant, re-created anew. There is, in truth, no Past, only a memory of the Past. Blink your eyes, and the world you see next did not exist when you closed them. The only appropriate state of the mind is surprise. The only appropriate state of the heart is joy. The sky you see now, you have never seen before. The perfect moment is now. Be glad of it.

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Offline AllyVP

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Re: Funny things to say to the librarian
« Reply #24 on: November 16, 2011, 01:19:22 AM »
Quote from: VisserZer0 on November 12, 2011, 01:55:07 AM
Yeah, but why miss a perfectly good chance to mess with people? :D

We have automatic checkout machines to, but I agree.  it's just too fun.  and i've actually used a couple of these.  so incredibly entertaining.  hard to keep a straight face tho. 

as for having my number memorized, HA!! i have a miniature library card attached to my keys and my computer remembers it.  i sure as hell don't know it. 
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Offline Tim Bruening

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Re: Funny things to say to the librarian
« Reply #25 on: August 03, 2015, 06:29:40 AM »
Quote from: AllyVP on October 27, 2011, 11:44:06 PM
You know those librarians who look at us adults weird when we check out the Animorph books?  Well, to entertain myself I have decided to say the most outrageous things possible when they do that.

my two ideas so far (oh, i'm 20):

*big smile*
"I'm reading CHAPTER books now!"

and

"Yeah, my 10 year old son discovered these and just LOVES them."

Any ideas?  I really want to run with this but I lack in the creatively-messing-with-people department.

Get me a Happy Meal with extra happy.
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Offline YeerkSalad

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Re: Funny things to say to the librarian
« Reply #26 on: August 05, 2015, 09:54:06 PM »
"Do you have any Canadese editions of these books?"

Slaps The Deception down on desk "I was up for hours reading this one. Was George R.R. Martin the ghostwriter?

"It's... it's not what it looks like." stands there looking embarassed, then bolts

[spoiler]struts up to the librarian "(whispers) Psst! Guess what? (screams) RACHEL DIES!!!!!"[/spoiler]
« Last Edit: August 05, 2015, 09:55:43 PM by YeerkSalad »
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yeah
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