Author Topic: Some Poems  (Read 1162 times)

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Offline Josh (J)

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Some Poems
« on: January 21, 2011, 03:04:15 PM »
OK, so I'm not a poet. Get that straight. :P And these were written in church so I wouldn't fall alseep. So they're...lame. Read at your own risk.

[spoiler]“Storm”
The thunder rumbled,
Sky is dreary, black, and dark—
And round raindrops pour.

“Rest”

First a
Butterfly goes
To a leaf and there it
Rests it beautiful self and then
It leaves.

“The Wish”

One day I was out, I looked in the air,
And thought of how I’d like to be there.
To soar above the world so high
And never have a worry, oh my!
But my life was confined to this earth—
Mortal things like home and hearth.

Howe’er, something started changing on me
And I became as small as a mouse could be;
But my size was changing, so was myself!
Then I was a bird the size of an elf.
Was I dreaming? Surely not!
Becoming a bird, was this my lot?

A little voice inside me—my head:
A life of a bird from now (he said)
Is what you’ll live—it was your wish.
No, I cried. Never to live or eat from a dish?
I would rather die than live like this
The mortal life I’d surely miss.

Sadly, slowly, I opened my wings
And I found no pleasure in flying.
I’d left the world I knew behind
To go and seek; new worlds to find.
My life had been left on the ground
Left....until it was found.[/spoiler]

The last one I was told sort of sounds from the view of Tobias. Like, when he became a nothlit. D'you think so? And, call my poems stupid if you want to.

NateSean

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Re: Some Poems
« Reply #1 on: January 21, 2011, 05:46:40 PM »
The Haikus were nice. Professional quality I think, though I'm no expert.

The Wish is very symbolic, no matter how you look at it. Either as a parable for Tobias' story, or a lesson in getting what you think you've always wanted, only to find that it isn't everything you imagined it was.

As a Vermonter, the first poet that comes to mind when I read your work is Robert Frost with a little bit of Emily Dickens in the mix. You shouldn't desparage your work here, because it's as good as some of the work I've seen in the books I had to read in school.

And I don't make that comment lightly about poetry. ;)

Offline Josh (J)

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Re: Some Poems
« Reply #2 on: January 22, 2011, 12:48:43 PM »
Haha, thank you. I've written...12 poems in my whole life? Some haikus, also. I really like poems; I started memorizing poems back in 1st grade with simple poems. I plan to memorize the Raven, even. Out of the few poems I've written, most are really casual and make me shudder to look back at them. The first poem I ever wrote was back in second grade. And it was.

[spoiler]My Family

My family is friendly
Jake likes to play
Mys sister is Gilly
Agnes likes to say
Things that don't make sense
and are very silly!
My family is friendly.
We don't live in tense. [/spoiler]

:facepalm: There's really one other poem that I wrote which I like, which is actually part of a Christmas story. I may post it up sometime. Thanks again!