Author Topic: An apocalyptic love story: Zombies and Romance.  (Read 1726 times)

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Offline Blazing Angel

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An apocalyptic love story: Zombies and Romance.
« on: July 10, 2013, 10:31:51 PM »
Something I've had bouncing around for a little bit:

 Against all advice and reason, Jeremy Black was trying to move AGAINST a large panicking mob. Why was he doing this? He had a strange feeling in his chest, that he had decided to call love. Quite a peculiar feeling. It combined the simmering nervous feeling that one gets when they suspect they've eaten some bad Mexican food on the way to their own wedding, and the blissful high that certain strains of marijuana are known to provide. As a third year college student, he was able to say he knew both these feelings, or at least some variation of them. The source of this "love" seemed to be the most magnificent woman he had ever seen, Courtney Stone. Meaning no offence to Jeremy, we're sure he has a fascinating life story, but we would rather pick up shortly before the undead started appearing. 

___________________ ___________________ ___________________ ___________________ _______
 I was never extraordinary. In all honesty, I was just a geek for most of my life. Not even one of those awesome geeks who owns a hand made storm trooper outfit, or runs a comic book store. It probably says enough about me, those being the kind of people I looked up to. I was still a nice guy though, never cursing, and always ready to help senior citizens. After the stupidity of junior high, and the Hell on earth that is high school, I decided some time studying a new culture* was for the best. Living in a small town in Oregon teaches you next go nothing about the outside world. And so I found a university in Great Britain willing to take me.

*Study a new culture is a saying that significantly cuts down rants on how much bull you're dealing with in your current country

 My mother only cried for a week, and my dad tried tried to make me pack a gun. For safety reasons. In less than a month I was jammed into the corner of a 747 next to a screaming toddler, on my way to England. So I got off the plane, found the nearest cinema, watched Batman: Dark Knight Rises for the third time, and set off for a tour of Brighton University. The weather was dreary, the people depressed, but it wasn't home, and that's exactly what I needed. There was a a great Mexican food truck. My dorm mates were in the middle of a Mario Kart tournament when I walked in, and I nearly fell down a flight of stairs when I saw the girl of my dreams.

 I should explain. There were rumors that some assistance was needed in the girls dorm. Opportunity to show off and meet some girls. Great minds think alike, so there was probably 150 or so frat boys. The frat boy is a large and obnoxious beast, prone to showing and bizarre mating calls. It will appear in any environment where snack foods and women can be found. And this seemed to be a breeding ground. Luckily most females know enough to avoid the stupid creatures, or use them to their advantage when one offers to carry a 40 inch TV up three flights of stairs.

 I ended up helping a local chess team move in. Despite the stereotypes, there were some lookers, among the group, but I wasn't able to to connect with anyone. I was at least able to jump into a few conversations on strategy, and was even invited back to referee a a practice tournament. Chess is a great game, and the opportunity to come back to the girls dorm is something men pray for every day. That's where my life changed. The girls loaded me down like a pack mule until they finally figured a family luggage set and three duffel bags was enough. Five floors up I was nearly to the room and had burned three big macs worth of calories. Clop. Clop. Up those stupid stairs. Whoever invented vertical ascension just didn't like people I had just about decided  when my eyes hit the most beautiful girl ever viewed in the history of life the universe and everything within it. She was tall, slender, slightly pale, and had hair like a field of wheat when the sun was setting. I could continue with the descriptions, but I can't go too much farther without being disrespectful. A willowy goddess, standing there with a Triforce emblazoned across her shirt, yelling at her dorm adviser for some unknown mix up. Emotion has a tendency to hit you like a truck. Or maybe that's gravity. It doesn't matter, two seconds later I was at the bottom of the staircase on top of two ladies who had the extreme misfortune of being behind me when I fell in love.
I am a Blazing Angel. Master of deviant traps and authentic barbecue. Brothers to Rukh the banner maker, Squall the Lionhearted and Underseen the generally sort of okay.


Offline Underseen

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Re: An apocalyptic love story: Zombies and Romance.
« Reply #1 on: July 10, 2013, 11:16:11 PM »
Zombies and romance? This is the one type of story that makes me laugh for no reason. Zombies and love are almost polar opposites so I can't wait to see how this unfolds.
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Offline Blazing Angel

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Re: An apocalyptic love story: Zombies and Romance.
« Reply #2 on: July 10, 2013, 11:55:56 PM »
It's inspiration is the movie The Princess Bride, which is constantly duking it out with Scott Pilgrim for the title of my favorite movie.
I am a Blazing Angel. Master of deviant traps and authentic barbecue. Brothers to Rukh the banner maker, Squall the Lionhearted and Underseen the generally sort of okay.


redtailedsaffa

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Re: An apocalyptic love story: Zombies and Romance.
« Reply #3 on: July 11, 2013, 12:26:46 AM »
Forgive me, but when I heard zombies and romance the first thing that came to mind was Corpse Bride. :P

Offline Underseen

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Re: An apocalyptic love story: Zombies and Romance.
« Reply #4 on: July 11, 2013, 12:34:04 AM »
Princess Bride? Scott Pilgrim? I can see how we're brothers.
RAF awards 2012: Best Newcomer... It feels good too

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Offline Blazing Angel

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Re: An apocalyptic love story: Zombies and Romance.
« Reply #5 on: July 19, 2013, 06:33:09 PM »
 Being awkward isn't anything close to what you see in movies and TV. It's treated in media as being an attractive person who also happens to be clumsy. In most cases, it's more of an inability to adapt on a social level. If presented with a new and unexpected situation your brain hands you the worst possible solution. And you do it, out of desperation. I am an awkward person. I'm allowed to make that statement. I once called into a radio station, trying to win concert tickets. And when a women answered the phone, in the most polite friendly tone a human being can muster, I hung up in terror. The exact wrong response to falling on top of someone is to continue laying on top of them in shock. So naturally, I did exactly that. For a good 45 seconds.

 At least it could have been worse. There is the wrong response, and the deliberately awful response. To the point where one suffers from such social retardation that they perform some selfish action that would have one removed from society under normal circumstances. This is what one of the bodies under me did. Rather than a groan of pain and a rough shove to get me off, as was the standard response, they chose to panic. A few thrashing limbs and screams of shock got me off of a 6'2 dorm adviser, and back onto my new life goal of marrying the girl I would later know as Courtney Stone.
I am a Blazing Angel. Master of deviant traps and authentic barbecue. Brothers to Rukh the banner maker, Squall the Lionhearted and Underseen the generally sort of okay.