Author Topic: Memoirs of a RAFian  (Read 277677 times)

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Offline Ash

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Re: Memoirs of a RAFian
« Reply #6435 on: March 31, 2017, 06:35:39 PM »
I'm really sorry to hear that, Cloaky, but glad you have your writing as a way to help you cope. As Shen said, don't hesitate to let us know if we can help.
You may have been given a cactus. Doesn't mean you have to sit on it.

...

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Offline Cloak

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Re: Memoirs of a RAFian
« Reply #6436 on: March 31, 2017, 08:59:58 PM »
Thanks Ash. It really is appreciated.

New chapter.

CHAPTER THREE:
Leatherhead and GH

This was the part of parenting that GH found that he liked the absolute least. He had never really been all that good of a disciplinarian, he felt. He also hated having to rebuke Leatherhead. But he was his adopted father, not his adopted friend. It was hard, especially for an usually easygoing guy like GH.

So, GH tried something that had never failed him before. He played his guitar to try and coax Leatherhead to eat his dinner:

"How come you're always such a fussy young RAFian?
Don't want no Capt'n Munch, don't want no Raisin Bran?
Well, don't you know that other kids are starving in Japan?
So eat it! Just eat it!
Don't want to argue! I don't want to debate!
Don't want to hear about what kind of food you hate!
You won't get no dessert 'till you clean off your plate!
So eat it!
Don't you tell me you're full!
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it!
Get yourself an egg and beat it!
Have some more chicken, have some more pie!
It doesn't matter if it's boiled or fried.
Just eat it, eat it, just eat it, eat it!
Just eat it, eat it, just eat it, eat it, ooh!
Your table manners are some cryin' shame.
You're playin' with your food! This ain't some kind of game!
Now, if you starve to death, you'll just have yourself to blame!
So eat it, just eat it!
You better listen. Better do what you're told.
You haven't even touched your tater tot casserole*!
You better chow down or it's gonna get cold.
So eat it!
I don't care if you're full,
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it!
Open up your mouth and feed it.
Have some more yogurt, have some more spam,
It doesn't matter it it's fresh or canned.
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it!
Don't you make me repeat it!
Have a banana, have a whole bunch!
It doesn't matter what you had for lunch!
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it!
Eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it!
Eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it!
If it's gettin' cold, reheat it!
Have a big dinner, have a light snack,
If you don't like it, you can't send it back!
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it!
Get yourself an egg and beat it!
Have some more chicken, have some more pie,
It doesn't matter if it's boiled or fried.
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it!
Don't you make me repeat it!
Have a banana, have a whole bunch!
It doesn't matter what you had for lunch!
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it!
"

"No!!" Leatherhead bawled. "No!! I'm don't wanna -- I don't like --"

GH hated when he got fussy like this. And he was obviously gearing up for a full tantrum. You think a six-year-old human temper tantrum was bad? Give that human child crocodilian traits, and you can only imagine the situation GH was in.

"Leatherhead," GH said. It was akin to a parent using their child's full name -- first, middle, and last name. It was a sign that Leatherhead was about to be disciplined for misbehavior -- and that would be hard enough if he was human.

"No!! I hate you! Go away!!" Leatherhead said, petulantly. He fled the thread, running away. He only stopped when hen ran into -- literally -- Dino.

"Whoa there, little guy," she said, affably enough. "Where's the fire?"

Leatherhead said nothing, but sniffed. After a little cajoling and coaxing, he told her what happened. She understood at once -- and knew parenthood was not easy, despite being childless.

"Ah, well, little guy," she said, gently and smoothly, "don't be too harsh on your dad."

"I hate him," Leatherhead said, with that childish stubbornness that the young tend to have.

"No, you're upset," Dino said, correctly him lightly. "You know you don't hate him. That's your anger talking."

He was about to protest as Dino sat down -- something that looked very awkward for any tyrannosaurid, let alone an ankylotyrannus.

"You might want to be careful, too, little guy," Dino said, "as you never know if or when you'll lose him . . ."

". . . What do you mean?" Leatherhead asked.

"Well," Dino said, "tell you what, little guy, let me tell you a story . . ."



Source Song: https://youtube.com/watch?v=ZcJjMnHoIBI

* A bit of an homage to Wheeza. She made a wonderful tater tot casserole.


Book 161: "League of Assassins"
Chapter 20: "Throwing Shade"
(November 17, 2017)

RAFians Referenced Specifically: Parker.

Offline Cloak

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Re: Memoirs of a RAFian
« Reply #6437 on: April 02, 2017, 05:40:14 AM »
New chapter.

CHAPTER FOUR:
Dawn of Memory

The first thing Dino remembered was darkness. Just darkness. She couldn't remember how she acquired a tyrannosaur and ankylosaur, nor what her species even was before utilizing the Frolis Maneuver to combine those morphs into a creature she dubbed an "ankylotyrannus". Nor did she remember any morphs she had prior to this. She was fundamentally a tyrannosaurus with physical ankylosaur traits -- the armored back, spiked sides, and club tail.

All she remembered is fear. Fear for her own survival, fear for the survival of her four friends -- they were morphers, as well. They were skilled in the Maneuver as well, but none of them had actually tried it before now. Dino could not recall what their species were before -- or if, indeed, they shared the same species. This whole part of her life was hazy.

Her friends . . . they've been her friends for longer than she remembered.

There was Don, who used the Maneuver with triceratops and dimetrodon DNA, despite the two animals not living in the same time period. His base morph was that of a triceratops with dimetrodon traits. His body was perfectly triceratops, with the sail and tail of a dimetrodon. He was a tad gluttonous and bit awkward and clumsy, the latter more exemplified in his new saurian form.

Then there was the matronly Dactyl, who used the Maneuver with a pteranodon and a velociraptor. Her base morph was that of a pterosaur with the feet, sickle claws, and tail of a velociraptor. She was quite motherly, and tended to dote on her friends, and she concerned herself with their wellbeing and health, and nutrition. She was exceedingly observant, and hardly missed a thing, if ever.

Then there was Dweebers, who was a lovable doofus. He had used the Maneuver with a parasaurolophus and a stegosaurus. His primary body was that of the hadrosaur but with the stegosaur plates and spiked tail. He was a complete doofus, but he always had a good heart and also tended to see things that Dino, Dactyl, and Don couldn't.

She couldn't remember how she became friends with them, but just knew that she was. And three better friends could not be found. She loved them as family -- which was good, as she couldn't remember any family she might have.

She didn't even know what time period she was in. Some time in the Mesozoic? Not? How'd she even get back here? She was sure that she was not a native of this time period, much less time zone. It was all very confusing.

Could it have been due to a Sario Rip? Perhaps that's what also caused the jumbled up and scrambled memory? It was the only solution that Dino ever conceived of. But she didn't know if Sario Rips, if ruptures of space-time, like that had any documented cases of memory loss.

Then there was a great, big flash, almost like a lightning strike. Then all she knew was that she and her friends were tumbling, head over heel like some demonic dryer set on tumble dry, forward through time into the modern era.

Dino would later reason that it was probably due the Sario Rip, somehow, closing. Why or how were lost to her, and she never quite discovered how. Part of her was afraid to, and part of her suspected that it was the extinction event but then how some of her friends were able to acquire -- she actively chose not to think about it.

Anyway, she and her friends landed in the harbor right outside a city. It was night, and a night of a new moon, as the stars twinkled at her in a most benign manner. But how long had it been since they been in morph? They should morph back. They really should.

But none of them could. All four were now nothlits. Dinosaur nothlits.


Book 161: "League of Assassins"
Chapter 20: "Throwing Shade"
(November 17, 2017)

RAFians Referenced Specifically: Parker.

Offline Cloak

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Re: Memoirs of a RAFian
« Reply #6438 on: April 03, 2017, 03:09:34 PM »
New chapter.

CHAPTER FIVE:
M.O.N.H.

<M-O-N-H,> Dino read aloud, in thought-speak. Since she was a nothlit it was her only way of communicating. <Wonder what it means?>

THWAP! THWAP! THWAP!

<Ugh! Dweebers! What are you doing?> Dino demanded. He had been smacking his tail against Dino's ankylosaur shell, not hurting her in the least.

<Whipping you until your name's Tobey!> he said.

<My name is Tobey,> Dino said. She added, unintentionally, as her certainty melted away into uncertainty, <I think.>

<Wow!> Dweebers proclaimed. <That was quick!>

<Going back to that 'monh' thing. Could it possibly be a safe haven for us?> Dactyl said. <We stand out quite a bit as it is. We could cause damage to these structures and the small beings within, not to mention we could be harmed.>

<You mean all those squishies?> Don said, somewhat dimly.

<They're people, Don,> Dactyl said, reproachful. <Calling them 'squishies' is disrespectful.>

<Yeah, yeah, yeah,> Don said dismissively. <When do we eat? I'm hungry.>

<You're always hungry,> Dweebers pointed out.

<Doesn't change the fact that I am,> Don protested mildly.

<Enough, you two,> Dactyl scolded. <Priorities, m'dears. Priorities.>

<Dactyl is right,> Dino said, apparently the de facto leader of this little troupe. <We need to find a place where we're a less . . . conspicuous.>

<Conspicu-what?>

<Don't, Don. You know perfectly well what it means,> Dino said. <We attract too much attention in our current forms. And, now that we've all lost the morphing ability by becoming nothlits we can't blend in as easily. We can't even so much as shrink to a less noticeable size.>

<Yes, while a compact form would be nice,> Dactyl said. Her pteranodon/velociraptor hybrid body was actually the smallest of the lot. <While it would be nice, we need to find a place where we can be safe. Perhaps this 'monh' place could be it.>

<I dunno,> Dino confessed. <But it's still dark out. We can move under the cover of this darkness and no one will be the wiser.>

<But we don't know where this 'monh' place is,> Dweebers pointed out.

<We'll play it by ear,> Dino said, already moving on. Each step could be heard by the observant.

<Oh, yeah, like that went so well before,> Don said, acidly, <and now we're all nothlits.>

Don did have his cantankerous moments. Dino ignored him and trumped ever so slowly toward the city, ever careful not to be seen. She was keenly aware how much she and everyone stuck out as a sore thumb. And to make matters worse, the sun was starting to rise. Their cover was soon going to be obliterated by the harsh light of morning.


Book 161: "League of Assassins"
Chapter 20: "Throwing Shade"
(November 17, 2017)

RAFians Referenced Specifically: Parker.

Offline Cloak

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Re: Memoirs of a RAFian
« Reply #6439 on: April 04, 2017, 07:07:12 AM »
New chapter.

CHAPTER SIX:
Roll Back the Clock

But the sneaking their way to the M.O.N.H. didn't really happen as planned.

Why?

Well, because the sun came up and the quartet inexplicably found themselves in the middle of a parade. Dweebers and Don found themselves hauling a parade float, walking behind some of these "squishies" as they thought of them, despite Dactyl's reproach. Not a one of them could explain satisfactorily how this happened, and Dactyl's incredulous questions of how this happened when they were supposed to be hiding went unanswered.

It just sorta . . . happened.

Then as they walked, Dino heard a child say to her mother, full of awe and wonder, "It's a dinosaur! A real dinosaur!"

"No, dear," her mother said, completely ruining her child's suspense of disbelief in favor of being just plain realistic, "it's just a robot."

"Aw," she said, looking downcast, "I wish it was real. . . ."

Something about this, it stirred something inside Dino.

<Tobey, what are you doing? Why are we going along with this? We should get to the 'monh'!> Dactyl sniped primly. She grew more alarmed when the music seemed to swell. <Tobey, stop it. Stop it now.>

But Dino just started to sing in thought-speak:

<Roll back the clock
'Til the dawn of time.
When the Earth was smoking,
And the lava flowed.
Roll back the clock
'Til the dawn of time,
And blow your cool,
Just like a volcano!
Snap your fingers,
And stomp your feet!
Soakin' up a little
Of the saurian beat!
>

<Tobey!> Dactyl demanded reproachfully, sounding shrill in her private thought-speak regulated for just the four of them. <Tobey, listen to me!!>

<Roll back the clock
'Til the dawn of time
And sing this song with me!
Roll back the clock!
>

Thinking that this was all part of the show, the crowd sang (as a mysterious figure blending in with the crowd watched):

"Roll back the rock!"

<Turn back the clock!>

"Turn back the clock!"

Then Dino sang the song and danced again -- it was amazing that an ankylotyrannus could even dance. She seemed deaf to Dactyls remonstrations, which seemed to vex the latter.

<Roll back the clock
'Til the dawn of time,
And sing this song with me!
Turn back the clock,
And maybe you can see
Why the 21st century
Appeals to me!
So much to learn.
And so much to do.
And a gazillion wonderful
Things to chew!
>

<Do you lack common -- I'm talking to you, Tobey!> Dactyl said, clearly not enjoying being ignored. <Tobey, listen to me! This will create too much attention on us!>

And, yet, Dino still sang:

<Roll back the clock!>

"Roll back the clock!"

<Turn back the clock!>

"Turn back the clock!"

<You're not even hearing me, are you?> Dactyl said, defeated.

As if in reply, Dino sang:

<Roll back the clock
'Til the dawn of time
And sing this song with me!
>

<Please tell me you can see how foolish --> Dactyl began.

<It's a good beat, Dactyl,> Don said, deciding to defend Dino.

<Yes, but be that as it may,> Dactyl said, waspishly, before launching into a mild harangue, as Dino sang:

<If you're thinking this gal's unreal --
Just imagine how I must feel!
Just imagine how I must feel!
Squishies -- mmmm what a meal!
>

<Again, 'squishies' is a disrespectful term!> Dactyl sniffed.

<But it's accurate,> Dweebers put in as Dino continued:

<Roll back the clock
'Til the dawn of time,
And sing this song with me!
>

<She's taken leave of her senses,> Dactyl said, as if coming to the only logical conclusion. <That is the only thing it could be.>

<Roll back the clock!>

"Roll back the rock!"

<Turn back the clock!>

"Turn back the clock!"

<This isn't going to end well, mark my words,> Dactyl said.

<Roll back the clock
'Til the dawn of time,
And sing this song with me!
>

To Dactyl's shock, there was applause and no one panicked, even when a tiny girl defiantly declared them real. They just assumed the singing they heard came from speakers, despite not hearing them with their ears but their brains. Sometimes the willingness to ignore what was blatantly obvious was paramount to the populace minds.

Of course, there was someone in the crowd who recognized what thought-speak was. And this someone knew that these dinosaur nothlits were real. And this someone sought to recruit them . . .



SOURCE SONG: https://youtube.com/watch?v=rS-HcK7d-LE
« Last Edit: April 04, 2017, 07:11:21 AM by Cloak »


Book 161: "League of Assassins"
Chapter 20: "Throwing Shade"
(November 17, 2017)

RAFians Referenced Specifically: Parker.

Offline Cloak

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Re: Memoirs of a RAFian
« Reply #6440 on: April 04, 2017, 11:36:43 AM »
New chapter.

CHAPTER SEVEN:
Hugh and Large Marge

After the parade, Dactyl was stunned into silence as they managed to extricate themselves from the parade -- they still had no idea what anyone was celebrating -- and began to wander, ever so cautiously to the M.O.N.H. Despite having no idea where that was.

Dactyl was still speechless as they moved on, though she flew ahead, making sure the path was clear. She couldn't believe that that didn't blow up in their faces. She just couldn't believe it. She felt so sure that it would have ended up in a big police chase or something outrageously insane and ludicrous like that.

As it was, they were fortunate that it didn't. But, then again, she had no idea that they were being watched. But not by the stranger from the parade, but by two new individuals. One appeared to be a balding man with a black, bushy beard wearing a red flannel shirt and blue jean overalls, with well worn working boots. The other had long, wavy, black hair with a face like a Himalayan breed of cat, wearing a floral print muumuu.

<Can we help you?> Dactyl sniffed.

"Come," the man said. "Come."

<Wait, why should we trust you?> Dweebers said.

<Yeah, we don't know you,> Don agreed, stumbling a bit, having stepped on a garbage can and crushing it like a soda can.

"We can help you," the woman said.

<Sure, you can,> Dactyl said, guarded.

<We need to go to the 'monh', though,> Dino said, capitalizing on the opportunity. <Do you know where that is?>

"'Mon'? What's that? Did you mean 'man'?" Large Marge asked. "Even so, that's rather vague."

<M-O-N-H.> Dino clarified.

"M-O- . . . you mean the Museum of Natural History?" Large Marge inquired. "It's been shut down for years, though. Something about being unregulated?"

"It was defunded," Hugh corrected. "My wife is a little susceptible to empty platitudes and insincere promises."

"I am not!" she protested.

"Then why are we subscribed to Bern Bridges?" Hugh said, with an exasperated sigh.

"It was a mistake, okay? I didn't mean to check that box," she argued. It sounded like she was making excuses to Dino, but she said nothing.

<So, where do we go now?> Don asked. He made of the mistake of not excluding the two strange, wobbly humans from it.

"You can come with us!" Large Marge said graciously gregarious.

<We're not gonna have a choice in this, are we?> Dactyl said, privately.

<If you have a better solution, I'd like to hear it, Dactyl,> Dino said, getting fed up with the constant remonstrations. She didn't have a better solution, and they followed the two to a rural area where these two lived. When the two felt safe enough -- they ripped their faces off, which alarmed the four who didn't know what ID masks were.

Hugh and Large Marge weren't human at all, but Vaxasaurians, a saurian species from Terradino. They were humanoid and beige in color. They had human-like hands with four fingers, each with large gray nails. They had long saurian tails and stood about ten feet tall (rather runty, for Vaxasaurians) and could grow to about sixty feet tall.

When they grew, their dinosaur features became more pronounced, growing stegosaur-like plates on their back, a crest on their forehead and spikes on their tail. Also, on their shoulders, three plates separate and grow. Large Marge also have five spikes on her head.

<What are you?> Don and Dactyl asked at the same time.

"We're immigrants from Terradino," Hugh said. "Technically, undocumented immigrants, to be specific."

"Hugh is one of the foremost experts on DNA," Large Marge said, proudly.

<You answered 'who', not 'what',> Dweebers pointed out.

"Oh?" Large Marge said, as if she genuinely was surprised that she had not. "We're Vaxasaurians, dear."


Book 161: "League of Assassins"
Chapter 20: "Throwing Shade"
(November 17, 2017)

RAFians Referenced Specifically: Parker.

Offline Cloak

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Re: Memoirs of a RAFian
« Reply #6441 on: April 04, 2017, 12:59:25 PM »
New chapter.

CHAPTER EIGHT:
DNA Surgery!

"Runty Vaxasaurians," Hugh said, almost bitterly.

"Oh, you know we can lift a To'kustar as easily as any other Vaxasaurian," Large Marge said, bracingly.

"No, I don't, because we've never so much as seen one before," Hugh said. Then he sighed, and looked up at his guests. "We can grow if it would make you feel more comfortable."

<No need for that,> Dweebers said, but Dino decided to cut to the point.

<You said that you could help us,> Dino asked, <how?>

"Apart from offering you a place to stay?" Large Marge asked, with absolutely no hostility whatsoever. "Go on, Hugh. Tell them."

"We can offer you the ability to shrink down to a more compact size," Hugh said, wearing a lab coat, which actually seemed to work for him. It gave him a whole Curt Connors type of look. "But not without your consent."

The four looked at each other, unsure.

<Um, how?> Dweebers asked.

"By giving you some reverse Vaxasaurian DNA," Hugh said, "that is to say, the antithesis to the gene we Vaxasaurians have that allows us to increase our size. Granted, that means you'd have reduced strength and durability in your compact form, but you'd be able to assume it at will."

<Have you ever done this before?> Dactyl asked, astutely guessing the answer.

"Well," Hugh confessed, "no."

<Thrn how do you know that it would work?> she said, skeptically.

"I believe in my husband," Large Marge said, sincerely.

"And the theory behind it backs it up," Hugh said, "I may not be a Galvan or Cerebrocrustacean or Transyl, but I did all the necessary calculations (and some that probably weren't necessary) and tested the theory to the very best of my ability. I believe it would work."

<Why do this for us?> Don asked, wearily.

"Because," Hugh said, sounding genuinely sincere, "I see you as kindred spirits. Until I found Large Marge, I was alone for years, ever since that Tyrannopede ate my clutch siblings and my sire and mother. I see that you four are just as alone as Large Marge and I were when we first came to Earth (there was a particularly nasty Tyrannopede that had singled me out because I managed to escape its clutches three times -- Large Marge, too). I just want to do something in order to give back, to use what I have learned from studying abroad."

Silence met this monologue, as the four considered. But Dino had made her decision.

<I'll do it,> she said.

<Tobey, you haven't even considered the ramifications or side effects or any possible consequence of this!> Dactyl proclaimed indignantly. <You couldn't have possibly done any of that. You need to think this through!>

<I'll do it,> Don said, after this private spiel.

<Don, you're being as reckless as Tobey,> Dactyl reprimanded. <You guys need to think this -->

<I'm in,> Dweebers said.

<And I'm alone,> Dactyl said. To the Vaxasaurians, she said, <Look, I'm sure you're nice guys, but no. I'm not doing this.>

"That's perfectly alright," Hugh said. "Your consent matters greatly in this. We don't want to force you into anything that you don't want to do."

He then addressed the three, "Okay, this shouldn't take too long. Let's get going."


Book 161: "League of Assassins"
Chapter 20: "Throwing Shade"
(November 17, 2017)

RAFians Referenced Specifically: Parker.

Offline Cloak

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Re: Memoirs of a RAFian
« Reply #6442 on: April 05, 2017, 06:25:00 PM »
Sorry that this is so late, my internet keeps crapping out on me. Probably because of the rain.

New chapter.

CHAPTER NINE:
Unforeseen Side Effect

"So," Hugh's voice came a few hours later, "how do you feel?"

Dino was still feeling groggy. She wasn't sure how she could feel so disoriented, it was just a hypodermic needle filled some science goo. . . .

"Dizzy," she said. It took her some time to realize that she didn't thought-speak, but spoke aloud, with actual sound. "And still sleepy."

"Don't worry," Large Marge said, "Hugh said momentary disorientation was to be expected."

<At least you all look the same.> Dactyl said. It was still clear from her tone that she still did not approve of this. And she, indeed, didn't -- she found it needlessly reckless and exponentially dangerous. She sniffed, <And apparently you don't need thought-speak anymore.>

"Wait, wha--" Don said, with a husky sort of voice.

"We spake!" Dweebers said, before amending, "I mean, 'speak'."

"How did this happen?" Dino queried the Vaxasaurians before getting up.

"A minor side effect of the genetic surgery," Hugh said, tone apologetic. "I did not foresee it, I'm sorry to say."

<And who knows what else you might not have foreseen in this reckless endeavor,> Dactyl said, primly. Then she sighed, and said, <But it was their choice. I cannot argue with that much, despite my acrimony with this whole feckless exercise.>

Then she addressed the two Vaxasaurians, <I'm sorry if it seems that I'm accusing you of perfidious intentions or of questionable motives. I assure you, I'm not. It just seems to be very . . . careless, headstrong, and rash, to me. There may be more --unforeseen -- side effects of this.>

"You worry too much," Don said, dismissively.

<And you don't worry enough, dearie,> Dactyl said, sounding as cross as she could manage at the moment. She looked away as the three shrank to a less conspicuous size for the first time, sure something would go amiss. Sure of and afraid of something going amiss.

But her worries were -- well, they weren't unfounded, but more like incorrect and fueled by fear. The three were safe, and roughly of similar size as her. She hid a sigh of relief, though her body language basically telegraphed her anxiety to the point that even the most oblivious person in existence could tell.

Dino recognized this and thought that someone should reassure her. And being the de facto leader that she was, she thought that it ought be her. But then Dweebers spoke up.

"Everything's fine, Dactyl," Dweebers said. His voice sounded a tad nasally, but a tolerable nasally. "It worked just like Hugh said it would."

<Wait,> Dactyl said, suddenly, "speaking of Hugh, where is he?>

"And Large Marge for that matter?" Dino added.

But they were gone. Somehow, inexplicably, gone.


Book 161: "League of Assassins"
Chapter 20: "Throwing Shade"
(November 17, 2017)

RAFians Referenced Specifically: Parker.

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Re: Memoirs of a RAFian
« Reply #6443 on: April 05, 2017, 09:55:08 PM »
New chapter.

CHAPTER TEN:
Where Did They Go, George? Where Did They Go?

"This is -- this is impossible," Don said. "They were just standing right there!! Not more than two minutes ago!!"

"We didn't even see anyone take them," Dweebers blustered.

<Assuming they were taken by an intelligent force,> Dactyl said, thought-speak "voice" quavering as if she were trying to make rational sense of this. <They could have been pulled into a Sario Rip, or a wormhole, or portal or something.>

"Without us noticing anything? In the span of, like, five seconds?" Dweebers countered.

"There were those two cracking sounds, and those two popping noises," Don pointed out.

"I didn't hear any of that --" Dino said, before a small creature standing in their midst, unnoticed because of his size was significantly smaller than their full height (except maybe Dactyl) cleared his throat.

The creature was a porcupine-like humanoid creature. He stood shorter than an average human, and had big, yellow eyes, black quills for hair (and these quills hid a variety of uses), and a long, ratlike tail. The creature also wore a black, zip-up jacket with silver accents, as well as black jeans. He also wore silver piercings on his ears.

<And who are you?> Dactyl said.

"Oh, names aren't really all that important, are they?" he said, sounding more oily then a fleet of used car salesmen. Dino found herself instantly disliking this creature, and wondering idly if superhuman perfidy was this creature's superpower. "They just separate you and isolate you from others."

<I should have made my meaning more plain,> Dactyl sniffed. She found this creature untrustworthy, but that was putting it mildly. <What do you want?>

"Me?" he said, affecting what he clearly believed to be innocence and sincerity, when it reality it came off as quite the opposite. "Oh, large ones, I assure you I want for nothing. I come to you at the behest of my . . . my sponsor."

"Stop it with the ill-conceived pitch, rodent," Don said, irritated, "what is it that your after?"

"After?" he said, still speaking in that blatantly insincere way. "I'm not after anything. Well, just the one, I suppose."

<Well?>

"Out with it!" Don demanded.

But the last thing Dino remembered was him firing a quill and feeling something sticking to her neck, like the sting from a bee. Immediately, her vision blurred and all was blackness. . . .

***

"What are you waiting for?" came an impatient voice. "Get up. Get up, get up, get up, get up!!"

The impatient voice, as Dino saw as she groggily woke up for the second time in less than a day, belonged to a four-armed humanoid creature who wore a black uniform with silver malicious imagery on gray pockets and gloves. He -- at least Dino assumed it was a "he" -- also wore a black top hat with a yellow star on it and matching goggles. He had blue hair and a mustache that covers his mouth. He also had dark green skin, and is a little taller than an average human adolescent. He also had his left eye replaced by a huge screw, the kind that required a flathead screwdriver to use.

"Wha . . . who are you?"

"I am Professor Blarnard J. Screweye," he said, grandly.

"What about my reward?" the porcupine alien said, plaintively. "My eternal one?"

"Oh, yes, yes, yes," Screweye said, deftly withdrawing a pistol from his coat and shooting the creature in the head, killing him instantly. He did this without the slightest hesitation. "There you go."

"We're in deep doodoo, aren't we?" Dweebers said.

<The deepest doodoo,> Dactyl agreed.


Book 161: "League of Assassins"
Chapter 20: "Throwing Shade"
(November 17, 2017)

RAFians Referenced Specifically: Parker.

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Re: Memoirs of a RAFian
« Reply #6444 on: April 06, 2017, 09:24:55 AM »
New chapter.

CHAPTER ELEVEN:
Just Say Yes

"Hello, Zeroes," Screweye said, addressing Dino, Dweebers, and Dactyl. They hadn't a clue if he was referencing something or just simply maligning them.

"What d'you want?" Dino demanded, still groggily.

"Oh, nothing much, really," he said, with a quaver in voice that Dino interpreted as sounding quite insane. "Just world conquest, through my little circus here!"

"Is he serious?" Don asked.

"The delight I take in frightening the masses," he said, with a maniacal passion, "in scaring them so thoroughly that the young'uns would have nightmares for weeks. Why, we'd take the world by storm!!"

"He's . . . not all there, is he?" Dweebers asked.

<Apparently, not,> Dactyl said.

Then he snapped his fingers and music started to play. The notes sounded discordant to Dino's ears, and her friends had similar reviews. It didn't help matters when he tried to sing, sounding like a demented Eric Idle.

"I was far too smart from the very start
'Coz my father came from THEM.
I began to grow, little did he know
That I had my own plans for him.
He thought i was tame. HA!
Just my little game.
Until this all became MINE!
"

"A threadbare tent and the paraphernalia of a demented cavalcade of turpitude and criminality?" Dweebers asked. "This is what you are so proud of owning?"

"Staffed by ne'er-do-wells and vagabonds?" Don said, glancing around groggily at Screweye's few employees, including two wizards specialized in Rowling magic. They seemed . . . stupefied would be the kindest explanation. But it looked as if they were lobotomized.

Screweye continued.

"They all do as I say!
No one stands in my way!
Everbody here is happy
Or I'll have them slightly altered!
I can do as I please.
I can change things with ease!
Horn or hair or fin or feather,
I control the wind and weather.
We can rule the world together!
If you just come with me.
"

The four refused, so he continued.

"You'll be happy, oh so happy,
When you come with me!
You'll be ruler of everything,
Of all that you can see!
Ah hahaha.
Just say yes, Zeroes!
"

"No!" was their reply.

"Think what we few can do,
You and me, me and you,
Buck yourself up, don't look so sad,
We'll have more than dear old dad had.
"

"We are not going to --" Dino said, still repulsed.

But Screweye continued his song:

"Butterflies and pretty flowers,
Sunny skies and superpowers,
Silver streams and fluffy kitties,
Laser beams and rubble cities!
"

"You're crazy!" Don exclaimed.

"Take your chance while you can!
Join in my master plan!
You won't tell me I'm too blabby,
When I'm ruler of hill and valley!
All of it will be mine.
Everday will be fine.
All the trains will run on time,
And there'll be no more wars and crime,
And I'll reduce your brain to slime!
Unless you just say yes!
You'll be happy, oh so happy,
If you just say yes!
"

They, again, refused. After all, he held no leverage on them. None that they knew about. Dino, personally, thought this guy had all the mental stability of a Helmacron, as she watched him prance around a particularly scrawny-looking Tetramand, who looked like just another slobbering, lobotomized thing, just like the rest.

"Oh, poor fellow!
Mind like jello!
Such a nasty mess!
"

<We really should be coming up with a way out of here,> Dactyl said, privately.

"Come on in to the greatest kind of life!
To the best and the latest kind of life!
You'll be happy nice and happy!
Perfect happiness!
Beyond measure, purest pleasure!
If you just say yes!
"

"No!" they said.

"It's our chance to rule,
Don't let it slip away, don't be upset,
It wont hurt much, you won't regret it,
If you just say yes . . .
Just say yes!
"

"No!" Dino said, her voice intermingling her roar.

"EHHH!" Screweye said, imitating a buzzer, "Wrong answer!"

Then, with a free hand, he pulled out an unusually ornate Dracon beam, and turned and used it on . . .



SOURCE SONG: https://youtube.com/watch?v=mFmKtXsXijE


Book 161: "League of Assassins"
Chapter 20: "Throwing Shade"
(November 17, 2017)

RAFians Referenced Specifically: Parker.

Offline Cloak

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Re: Memoirs of a RAFian
« Reply #6445 on: April 06, 2017, 10:02:16 PM »
New chapter.

CHAPTER TWELVE:
Forced Cooperation

Large Marge. He shot Large Marge.

She didn't even have a chance to scream before she was disintegrated into nothing but a sparse few molecules. The beam, evidently, was on it's highest setting. Even the chair behind her was affected.

"Marge!!!" Hugh's cry was heartwrenching. He was bound to an uncomfortable, straight-backed chair, wrists apparently bound behind him with zip ties that had been charmed with the Unbreakable Charm, making them -- well -- unbreakable. If he grew to his larger size, he would risk amputating his hands, assuming he could even assume that size with his bindings holding him fast. And it was very clear that he was not here of his own volition, as he looked rather beaten up, as well.

Screweye had no compassion or regret at his action. He was cold and without mercy to those who didn't do as he wished. He was a very selfish being, who could very well be psychotic. His volatile nature made him an unpredictable and dangerous enemy. He didn't think twice about murdering indiscriminately, which made it a wonder why he never served prison time. He was basically an alien Sluggard.

"I'll ask again," he said, this time his voice was dark and devoid of any childish bounce and humor. It took on a very sinister edge, as he pointed the Dracon towards Hugh, who felt as if he would welcome it, who felt nothing but a yearning to be reunited with his beloved Marge. "Will you join me?"

He waited a beat, while the four were just lost in their shock.

"Don't try me, Zeroes," he warned, darkly, "I'm not a man to cross. Now I'll ask you again, and consider carefully. Join me?"

All four hesitated.

"Don't try my patience, you freakshow acts," he snarled, finger already curled around the trigger. "I'm going to give to the count of thirteen, and then I shoot one of your number until you agree."

This was their first acquaintance with Screweye's unusual obsession with the number thirteen. This would impact Dino's life for years to come, and not in a good way. He even had a revolver with thirteen chambers, making it excessively and unnecessarily bulky and unwieldy. It usually required all four of his arms to use, and it wasn't really all that impressive to use, and he wanted to go for intimidation. Of course, this gun had a name to him -- "Johnny 13".

"One! Two!"

Dino quickly reviewed their options.

"Three! Four!"

If she refused, Hugh would surely die.

"Five! Six!"

But Hugh looked as if he wanted to die. Marge was clearly everything to him. He clearly felt as if there was a huge, gaping hole in his heart that Marge had filled.

"Seven! Eight!"

If they complied, who knows what sorts of things that Screweye would make them do? Who knew what morals he would force them to sacrifices? What crimes he would force them to commit?

"Nine! Ten!"

Was there an exit strategy? Some unforeseen way out of making the decision posed to her? Any way to do it, and have Hugh live?

"Eleven!"

But would Hugh even bounce back from this? Would he be a potential liability? Could she or one of others simply attack Screweye, possibly kill him? Perhaps violence would not be appropriate in this scenario.

"Twelve!"

Dino couldn't see how any option had any positive consequences -- lasting or not. But she had made her choice.

"D'you think I'm kidding?!" he said, his angry, wavering voice betraying his spooky, sinister demeanor. "I will shoot him!"

"Wait, wait," Dino said. She hated herself for this decision, but it was the only one she could see that wouldn't lead to more bloodshed.

"Yes?" Screweye said, abruptly smooth and cool. This guy was definitely unstable. And it made him dangerous. Worst of all, he knew it made him dangerous.

Dino closed her eyes, as if that would take some sting out of it, "We'll do it."

"Do what?" he said, clearly enjoying this. He knew perfectly well what, but he was just savoring having them at his mercy.

"We . . . will join . . . you. . . ." she said. Even the words tasted bitter in Dino's mouth.


Book 161: "League of Assassins"
Chapter 20: "Throwing Shade"
(November 17, 2017)

RAFians Referenced Specifically: Parker.

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Re: Memoirs of a RAFian
« Reply #6446 on: April 08, 2017, 06:43:27 AM »
Sorry about not posting a chapter yesterday. Work really tuckered me out, as they say.

New chapter.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN:
Things Are Not What They Seem

And he had them as oddities for his little circus. Dino was really unsure of his plans. Sometimes, he would seem just to want to present a scary circus to get and hoard money, Mr. Krabbs-like. At other times, he would seem egomanical and megalomaniacal, desiring global conquest. You could never really tell what mindset he was in until he spoke, which varied from psychotic mumblings to very serious, sinister monologues and unrealistically grandiose visions and goals.

Living like this was living in perpetual uncertainty and endless chaos.

To make matters worse, he had fitted each of them, and Hugh, with collars that he called compliance collars. He then warned them if they did not follow his direction, he would not hesitate to activate them. They weren't designed to shock them, they were filled with explosives. Any noncompliance he perceived and he would kill them, without a second thought, one-by-one.

So, they were stuck. Stuck performing it what felt to be their hundred and fiftieth performance. Dino never understood Screweye's clientele, either. Why would you come to a circus to be scared? To be terrified? Isn't the world not terrifying enough?

Anyway, Screweye's always liked to kick off the show with a song:

"Things are not what they appear.
As tonight will make quite clear!
But what is real will be revealed,
I can feel the moment's near!
"

Dino and her friends were literally waiting in the wings for their cue. Hugh has gotten over his initial shock, but still wished for death, wished to be reunited with Marge. The hole in his heart very evident. Dino couldn't help but feel sympathy for the guy. She couldn't imagine not having her friends, who were more like a family to her.

"Things are never what they seem.
That will be this evening's theme.
A sparse few sights for your delight,
Perhaps a few to make you scream!
"

That was always them.

<Is there a way out of this slavery?> Dactyl asked once, dejectedly.

No one answered her. It wasn't necessary. Everyone knew the answer.

"You'll be surprised to see whose disguise
Is the cleverest one of the lot!
After our show, the whole world will know
Who's is pretending to be what they're not!
If a monster's grin or a politician's spin
Should be pleasing, please say 'Yea'!
"

"Yea!" the crowd cried, as the four friends looked out from the wings sadly. None of them wanted this. None of them wanted to be enslaved by a murderous alien with wild and unpredictable mood swings. None of them wanted this life.

"If an actor's feat should be incomplete,
He's the one to greet with 'Nay'!
"

"Nay!" the crowd shouted. It was awful, their time here. They have all come to associate the number thirteen with pain and misery. They began to to fear the number itself.

"If the fools we see should look like you and me,
Then, before the night goes by,
Ask why, why, why, why, why,
Why?
"

Dino was starting to believe that she should have just sacrificed Hugh and had them all get away. It would have weighed on her conscience, sure. But they would still be free to do as they please. They . . .

"Things are not what they appear
And the finest proof's right here!
"

That was their cue. They walked out to the stage, with the usual screams. Were they terror or delight? Dino couldn't even tell anymore, and she found it very concerning.

"How I regret when we first met
I believed my own worst fear.
Things are never what they seem.
So, in keeping with our theme,
A change of hair, a sight to beware,
And our nightmare's now a dream!
Things are never what they seem.
"

"He's right, he's right!" the crowd roared.

"Most don't say what they mean."

"He's right, he's right!" the crowd roared again.

"A blank face is just the place
To hide an ugly scheme.
Only one thing's really clear,
Things are not what they appear!
"

Then came the wealth of applause that seemed to satiate Screweye so much. Maybe he wouldn't feel the need to play Johnny Roulette tonight. . . .



SOURCE SONG: https://youtube.com/watch?v=teGLC71FW7s


Book 161: "League of Assassins"
Chapter 20: "Throwing Shade"
(November 17, 2017)

RAFians Referenced Specifically: Parker.

Offline Cloak

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Re: Memoirs of a RAFian
« Reply #6447 on: April 09, 2017, 05:42:39 AM »
New chapter.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN:
Monsters Out There

Dino was right, and he didn't feel the need to play Johnny Roulette that night. But it was only a momentary respite, as he would eventually, without a doubt, engage in the sick game again.

The "game" consisted in chambering a single bullet in that thirteen-chambered revolver of his, the one he called Johnny, and then firing at Hugh, Dactyl, Dweebers, Don and Dino, in that order. While Hugh had gone past caring, the other four weren't so eager for death. And all five managed to escape death for the first twelve times he did it.

***

"You're all alone in the middle of the night,
Something moves in the cold moonlight.
You're tryin' not to scream,
But you got to let it out,
And it make you wanna,
You wanna --
You wanna shout!
There's monsters out there!
Sneakin' up behind you!
Monsters out there.
That'll tickle your bones,
Those monsters out there.
You know, they're gonna find you.
No matter where you go,
You know.
There's monsters out there.
Running through the backyards,
Bumpin' into trees,
Somethin' reaches up
And pulls you to your knees.
Try to get away.
You don't know if you can,
And you're starin' at the
At the ole monster man!
There's monsters out there
Sneakin' up behind you.
Monsters out there!
Don't dally alone!
Those monsters out there.
You know they're gonna find you.
No matter where you go.
You know . . .
There's monsters out there.
Monsters that'll chase you!
Monsters that'll unseat you!!
Monsters that'll jump out and
Say they're glad to eat you!
Are those monsters out there,
Waitin' in the darkness?
Monsters out there
With the bright red eyes!
Monsters out there,
Better watch where you're going.
'Coz you never know when there are,
Never know when there are,
Know when there are,
Monsters out there.
And you know the good have fallen.
Monsters out there.
Better run from home!
There's monsters in there,
You can hear the mummy calling.
You never gonna know when there are
When there are monsters out there.
Monsters out there.
Monsters out there.
Monsters out there.
"

Then the show finished soon thereafter. And Dino's friends and she knew they had something bad in store for them, considering the lukewarm reception they got. The act had gotten old and stale, but instead of having a little introspection or taking responsibility for his decisions and actions, Screweye decided that it was his staff and Hugh and Dino and her friends were the ones at fault.

Because, after all, it just couldn't have been his fault, after all, he felt. In his mind, he never made mistakes, never errs, never has an unforeseen misstep. He was so gratingly narcissistic and psychotically egotistical, it was a potent, noxious ****tail.

Hugh, Dino, and the rest were smart enough to know what this meant. Tonight would be time for Johnny Roulette.



SOURCE SONG: https://youtube.com/watch?v=vUfOOH5UwsE


Book 161: "League of Assassins"
Chapter 20: "Throwing Shade"
(November 17, 2017)

RAFians Referenced Specifically: Parker.

Offline Cloak

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Re: Memoirs of a RAFian
« Reply #6448 on: April 09, 2017, 07:19:48 PM »
New chapter.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN:
Johnny Roulette

"You all turned in a lackluster performance today," Screweye said, dressing him down. Oh, how Dino yearned to attack him, to worry him like dog does with a bone. This guy was just so incredibly full of himself, despite it being quite evident that no one -- no one with adequate brain power, that is -- liked him. Not at all.

Dino hadn't seen the two wizards that had brought them and Marge here in the first place. Not in a while. She was sure that Screweye didn't get rid of them, didn't kill them. He would have wanted that to be a spectacle for the rest of them. As well as sending them a message -- he had total control here, and everyone better capitulate and comply with his wishes . . . or suffer the severe consequences.

It was absolute hell working with this complete and utter psychopath. More than once, Dino second-guessed her decision to not peel out and leave. Hugh wanted to die, and none of their conversations (what little Screweye allowed them to have) seemed to have deterred the Vaxasaurian fromthis fervent desire. He was more of a shell of a man now -- Marge actually meant so much to him.

Dweebers, Don, and Dactyl didn't blame her for her decision though, despite enduring this hell. They knew she had an impossible decision and was just trying to save a life. But was there really a point in saving someone's life who did not want to be saved? How do you save someone's life when they view death as a more attractive offer? Maybe they should have cut their losses and ran, but Dino wasn't like that. She wasn't the type to arbitrarily sacrifice others for her own needs.

"So, apparently, we need to cut some of the fat here," Screweye said, giving pretty much the same spiel that he did whenever he decided to play Johnny Roulette. "But it won't be for me to decide -- we'll let ol' Johnny here decide that."

He rubbed his thirteen-chamber revolver as a Bond villain would pet a Persian cat. That gun was his baby and he took care of it far better than he took care of himself or his cadre of forced laborers.

"One bullet, thirteen chambers," he said. He really seemed too enjoy this too much. He loved instilling fear into his staff nearly as much as he loved the revolver. He. Was. Insane. "Twelve chances of surviving and one chance of death, and a cheap funeral."

It was a lie -- he would not hold any funeral, cheap or not.

"Let's begin," he said, chambering a single round and rotating the chambers on the revolver. It looked rather awkward to use with all four of his hands, but it was dangerous all the same. A single bullet from that gun could penetrate the thickest skull.

He aimed at Hugh's head, right between the eyes. Hugh looked almost disinterested. He held no fear of death. Nor did he particularly care for the theatrics of Screweye's Johnny Roulette game. All he wanted was Marge back. She was his everything, and, without her, he felt life was just not worth living.

Screweye pulled back the revolver's hammer, and pulled the trigger. The shot rang out all across the tent. Hugh had been granted his most fervent wish, as even the hole between his empty eyes still smoked. Hugh was dead. Shot by Screweye -- apparently the first chamber was inexplicably loaded.

"Oh well," Screweye said, completely indifferent. "Well, I guess Johnny Roulette is over for today. May this be a lesson to the rest of you, don't give me another bad performance. That is all."

Still partially in shock, Dino and her friends didn't move.

"I said, you're dismissed," he said, dangerously when he realized his command was not followed immediately. "Don't make me do something that you'll regret."


Book 161: "League of Assassins"
Chapter 20: "Throwing Shade"
(November 17, 2017)

RAFians Referenced Specifically: Parker.

Offline Cloak

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Re: Memoirs of a RAFian
« Reply #6449 on: April 10, 2017, 07:44:57 AM »
New chapter.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN:
No More Mister Nice Guy!

They didn't.

They all had enough of this. It's been months since Dino made this decision to stay here, to capitulate to this madman. It was a bad decision, Dino decided. A very bad one. Hugh had wanted to die . . . and there was no amount of consoling that would shake that desire from his mind and heart.

She would know. She had tried. And she had failed.

"I'm only going to warn you once, Zeroes," Screweye said. "BACK OFF."

<No! Not this time.> Dactyl said, her tone colder than the far reaches of the Plutonian surface. <I cannot speak for everyone present, but this has gone on for long enough! We are slaves here. But we are entitled to several unalienable rights and -->

"Oh, aren't we forgetting one teensy weensy, but ever-so-crucial, tiny little detail?" Screweye said, almost in a singsong tone of voice, before roaring in sudden, unexpected rage, as if he would explode into a fiery inferno, "I OWN YOU!!!"

"No, you don't!" Dweeber said. They all really had enough of this . . . this . . . egomaniacal child! "We only forlent our freedoms on the condition of Hugh's life. He is now dead. By your hand!!!"

"Yeah, all four of them!" Don put in.

"I won't stand for insurrection of my staff," Screweye said, in a quiet sort of voice that meant that he was considering killing. "You want to mutiny, Zeroes?"

"Oh, for the love of god," Dino snapped. "Stop calling us that. Despite what you may think of us, we have names."

"You want to mutiny against me?" Screweye said, as if Dino didn't speak. "You think that I don't know how to weed out rebellion from my staff's ranks? Huh, Zeroes?"

"We have --" Dweebers began.

"No, you don't." Screweye cut across him. "You are called Zeroes because you aren't worth anything. And you would betray my generosity with defiance? And you would besmirch my kindness with insurrection? After all I've done for you? I've housed you --"

<No, you haven't,> Dactyl said.

" -- I've fed you --" he said as if Dactyl hadn't spoken.

"Barely," Don said.

"-- And this is how you repay me. With a banal performance that had the audience walking out and mutiny!" he said, ignoring Dino and her friends. "After all I've done and sacrificed for you!!"

"You don't even pay us or allow us to leave of our own accord!!" Dweebers argued.

<That is textbook slavery!> Dactyl said, backing up Dweebers.

"Fine. So be it. Just remember, this isn't my fault --" Screweye said.

"Nothing is ever your fault," Dino roared, incensed.

"It's too late for flattery, Zero," Screweye said, removing what appeared to be a remote control with one prominent red button on it from his pocket, after lowering Johnny the revolver. "One-by-one -- you now die."

He pressed the button, aiming it at Dactyl who realized what would happen seconds before it did. With a boom and a shriek -- Dactyl was missing her head and neck. There was no morphing back from this, as she was a nothlit same as any of the them.

Dactyl was dead -- and the next three would surely follow.


Book 161: "League of Assassins"
Chapter 20: "Throwing Shade"
(November 17, 2017)

RAFians Referenced Specifically: Parker.