Author Topic: A completely average sci-fi/fantasy tale.  (Read 3300 times)

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Offline Blazing Angel

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A completely average sci-fi/fantasy tale.
« on: September 17, 2011, 05:11:15 PM »
Once upon a time, in a completely plagiarized land, their lived a mighty hero and his brave companions. Fite-or the brave knight, Gandarf the gray orange, Boomer the explosives expert, and Darren their obligatory talking rodent (a fat weasel.) They traveled the mystical land of Pitsburgh Avalonia, slaying many monsters, rescuing fair damsels, and doing generally heroic crap. This is the story of their source of comic relief.


Argen the completely normal peasent kid was excited. Adventure Co. was finally visiting his village. To think, the small dirt farming village in the middle of Somewhere would actually hold the continents greatest heroes however long it took for them to beat the traffic!
« Last Edit: September 19, 2011, 11:01:42 PM by newBlazingAngel »
I am a Blazing Angel. Master of deviant traps and authentic barbecue. Brothers to Rukh the banner maker, Squall the Lionhearted and Underseen the generally sort of okay.


Offline Blazing Angel

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Re: A completely average sci-fi/fantasy tale.
« Reply #1 on: September 20, 2011, 08:59:52 AM »
Heroes


"So why are we doing this tour again?" Fite-or asked boredly. "We're celebrating the recent destruction of the Destroyer Cult." Boomer said. "And we need a new party member. Preferably someone who's useful enough to keep around but stupid enough to make us look like gods in comparison." Gandarf added. Fite-or dwelled on this for a minute and asked. "What happened to that Bard? What was his name?" Gandarf used to levels of ignorance quickly shot back "His name was Argy. His lute playing interrupted your battle roar so you made him eat it." Darren popped out of Boomers bag. "He was the only one who fed me." He squeaked.  Boomer pulled him out of the sack and started to pet him. 'You already eat too much." She cooed. "Theirs no such thing as too much food!" Fite-or and Darren yelled in sinc.
I am a Blazing Angel. Master of deviant traps and authentic barbecue. Brothers to Rukh the banner maker, Squall the Lionhearted and Underseen the generally sort of okay.


NateSean

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Re: A completely average sci-fi/fantasy tale.
« Reply #2 on: September 20, 2011, 09:42:07 AM »
It's funny as a start. I just finished SFdebris Two Towers review, so I was in the LOTR mindset and this was a nice follow up.

But while it's a parody, it should still be formatted properly. Nightlight is a rather humerous parody of Twilight, but it's still presented like a book.

Offline Blazing Angel

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Re: A completely average sci-fi/fantasy tale.
« Reply #3 on: September 20, 2011, 09:47:14 AM »
while writing it I've had the feeling that this would go pretty well as a comic, but I can't draw.

I'm presenting it as I want it to be, with changes of perspective to keep the reader informed.
I am a Blazing Angel. Master of deviant traps and authentic barbecue. Brothers to Rukh the banner maker, Squall the Lionhearted and Underseen the generally sort of okay.


Offline Blazing Angel

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Re: A completely average sci-fi/fantasy tale.
« Reply #4 on: October 16, 2011, 11:13:15 PM »
Argon


There they were! Riding into town on the humble wooden cart, waving monotonously like only adventurers can. Argen could barely, see due to being aproximotaley five foot two, but the crowds cheering made them seem impressive.

The small crowd followed the adventurers too the town gallows, which were also used for speeches. The mayor, a poorly described old man, aproached the podium and cleared his throat. "Welcome Venture Co.! It is my humble honor to welcome you and your most newest companion, my grandson, Argy. Where is he anyway."

Heroes
[/i]

"Cra-" Gandarf almost said. Than remembering he was still in a fantasy world. "Forsooth. This royally sucks. I forgot the kid was from this town." Boomer, always lookingor a direct way to solve problems, quickly whispered in Fite-or's ear, "If you can grab a kid out of the crowd within the next ten seconds, I will buy you an entire ham."

Fite-or couldn't count to ten but he loved meat, so a heavy fist shot into the crowd and came out with a scrawny kid who looked like he whould have hit his growth spurt by now. "Here he is!" Gandarf called, his voice filled with desperation, pity, and a touch of laughter at the sheer novelty of it all.
I am a Blazing Angel. Master of deviant traps and authentic barbecue. Brothers to Rukh the banner maker, Squall the Lionhearted and Underseen the generally sort of okay.


Offline Shenmue654

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Re: A completely average sci-fi/fantasy tale.
« Reply #5 on: November 05, 2011, 05:49:40 PM »
I do wish you could draw, Blazing. This looks like it'd be fun. ;)

I often speculate on the fantasy genre in general, and whether or not the roles involved actually make any sense. I mean what, exactly, does a boy do with as much power as endgame heroes tend to have? The Tough Guide to Fantasyland points out a lot of the more ridiculous tropes. I grew up on turn-based roleplaying games, which are basically Japanese interpretations of the old Western Hero's Journey. Now granted I grew up on the really trippy 90's Final Fantasy games, but that may just explain why I'm cracked in the head. :P

I wish you luck, and I've always loved your awesome sense of humor. ^_____^

Offline Blazing Angel

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Re: A completely average sci-fi/fantasy tale.
« Reply #6 on: November 05, 2011, 06:01:25 PM »
This was most likely inspired by TV tropes/ What if I took all these things that are completely obvious once they've been pointed out and turn it into a story. Parodies of everything! Nobody is safe! If only I were british then I could narrate.
I am a Blazing Angel. Master of deviant traps and authentic barbecue. Brothers to Rukh the banner maker, Squall the Lionhearted and Underseen the generally sort of okay.


Offline Blazing Angel

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Re: A completely average sci-fi/fantasy tale.
« Reply #7 on: November 17, 2011, 07:26:55 PM »
WHen I do a new post for this, would anybody mind replying, just once, because I really hate double posting on my own thread
I am a Blazing Angel. Master of deviant traps and authentic barbecue. Brothers to Rukh the banner maker, Squall the Lionhearted and Underseen the generally sort of okay.