Started writing Draft 2 of Dark Side Rising. Here's the teaser scene rewritten. Thought I'd get your reactions.
FADE IN:
EXT. APARTMENT COMPLEX - NIGHT
It's raining. People walk by the apartment complex holding
umbrellas.
A 1999 Ford Escort slowly parks in one of the few parking
spots in front of the complex.
As the headlights turn off, the driver's side door opens. Out
comes KAYLA NEWMAN, 23, wearing a short sleeve shirt covered
by a greyish jacket, jeans, and glasses. She's considered to
be a real sweetie in terms of personality. She looks at the
building as she closes her door, locking it.
Kayla then walks over to the back of her car. She opens the
trunk and grabs at 4 paper bags of groceries.
As Kayla tries to close the trunk, it closes by itself. The
closing of the trunk reveals 31 year old JACKSON FRANKS,
sporting flaky brown hair, a T-shirt and jeans. Jackson
considers himself a lady's man, though he only favors one
girl in particular.
JACKSON
You look like you could use a hand
with those.
Kayla glances at Jackson over the bags. She sighs with
relief.
KAYLA
Yes! Thank you!
Jackson takes two of the bags.
Kayla readjusts the two bags she has and walks over to the
front door of the apartment complex.
Jackson follows Kayla and sidesteps her. He opens the door so
that Kayla can walk in ahead of him.
JACKSON
Ladies first.
Kayla smiles as she walks by him.
KAYLA
Why thank you, sir.
INT. HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS
Kayla walks through the hallway. She stops at an elevator.
She presses the button for the 4th floor.
Jackson takes note of the button she presses.
JACKSON
High up there.
Kayla nods her head.
KAYLA
Yeah. Wanted at LEAST second, but
it was one of the few apartments
they had available.
Jackson nods his head.
JACKSON
Completely understand.
The elevator bell rings and the doors open.
Kayla walks in, followed by Jackson. The doors close.
INT. ELEVATOR - CONTINUOUS
Kayla and Jackson stand there as instrumental music plays.
Kayla takes a quick glance over to Jackson.
Jackson notices this look. Kayla quickly turns away.
JACKSON
Some weather.
KAYLA
Yeah.
Kayla chuckles nervously. The elevator bell rings and the
doors open.
INT. HALLWAY 4TH FLOOR - CONTINUOUS
Kayla walks up to her apartment.
Jackson walks up behind her.
Kayla puts down her bags. She fumbles for the keys in her
purse. Finding them, she opens the door. She grabs the two
bags from the floor. She turns to Jackson and slowly takes
the bags from him.
KAYLA
Well. This is it. Apartment's a
real mess right now. I better get
these to the kitchen.
JACKSON
Absolutely. Might want to hurry,
those bags look like they could
break thanks to the rain.
KAYLA
Yeah. Thanks for the help.
Kayla steps into the house.
INT. APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS
Kayla walks through the living room to her kitchen.
INT. KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS
Kayla walks into the kitchen. She puts the bags down on her
counter. She takes a deep breath and slowly takes things out
from the bags.
INT. APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS
Kayla walks out of the kitchen.
The front door to her apartment is still open and Jackson is
standing there.
Kayla gasps in surprise.
KAYLA
Oh!
She walks over to the door. She chuckles sheepishly.
KAYLA (CONT'D)
Would you like to come in?
JACKSON
Actually I wouldn't mind, yes.
Thank you.
Jackson enters the apartment. He takes a look around. He nods
his head.
JACKSON (CONT'D)
I suppose it could be worse.
Kayla looks confused
KAYLA
Excuse me?
Jackson looks over to Kayla.
JACKSON
Oh you said your apartment was a
mess.
Kayla sighs in relief
KAYLA
Oh! It's really not that bad?
JACKSON
Trust me. I have room mates.
They're slobs.
Kayla nods her head.
KAYLA
Cool. I sadly live alone.
She perks up.
KAYLA (CONT'D)
Would you like something to drink?
I make a mean hot cocoa. Could go
good with this rain.
JACKSON
I would love a hot cocoa.
KAYLA
Coming right up!
She moves off at a quickened pace to the kitchen.
Jackson watches her leave. He then walks into the living room
area.
INT. LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Jackson takes in his surroundings.
In the corner to his right is a small TV stand containing a
32 inch television.
A bookshelf is nearby with a sofa about a foot away from both
TV and Bookshelf.
An End table is situated near the sofa. It has a book and two
pictures on it.
Jackson walks over to the end table and takes a closer look.
He picks up the book.
It appears to be a book about the mythology of wolves.
Jackson puts the book back on the end table.
Jackson walks over to a window.
The curtains have pictures of wolves.
Jackson has a curious look on his face.
He then looks out the window.
Through the window, Jackson spots a silvery white wolf
sitting near a bike rack on the corner of a street on the
opposite side of this block.
Jackson shivers a bit. He looks towards the kitchen.
JACKSON
Have a thing for wolves?
KAYLA (O.S.)
Yeah! I love them!
JACKSON
I have friends with similar
interests. You'd get along.
KAYLA (O.S.)
Cool!
The sound of rustling comes from one of the bedrooms.
Jackson notices. He brings his hand up to his thigh.
KAYLA (O.S.) (CONT'D)
Can you check to see if that's the
cat? She's late.
Jackson eases up a bit.
JACKSON
You have a cat?
INT. KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS
Kayla looks towards the living room.
KAYLA
Yeah. A small tabby. I tend to
leave one of the bedroom windows
open so she can come and go as she
pleases.
INT. LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Jackson takes a deep breath.
JACKSON
Sure.
Jackson walks over to the hallway.
INT. HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS
Jackson walks into the hallway.
The rustling continues.
Jackson now pulls a handgun from a hidden holster. He readies
it.
Jackson slowly walks towards the first of three doors. He
slowly opens the door up.
It's the bathroom.
Jackson moves on to the second door. He slowly opens it.
INT. BEDROOM 1 - CONTINUOUS
It's dark as Jackson walks into the room, gun lowered. He
turns on the light.
No windows.
Jackson turns off the light. He slowly walks out, closing the
door.
INT. HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS
Jackson slowly makes his way to the final door.
The door is open completely.
INT. BEDROOM 2 - CONTINUOUS
Jackson slowly enters the bedroom.
Jackson can hear the rain falling from the nearby window.
Jackson walks over to the window.
From the window, he can see nothing out of the ordinary.
Jackson turns to the bed.
He whistles.
JACKSON
Here kitty. Here kitty.
He whistles once more.
JACKSON (CONT'D)
I don't think your cat came home.
KAYLA (O.S.)
Alright. I'm almost done.
JACKSON
You know, you really should be more
careful with your windows being
open.
There is the sound of footprints outside the door.
Jackson raises his gun. He slowly makes his way towards the
door.
INT. HALLWAY - NIGHT
Jackson walks out into the hallway.
The door to the first bedroom is open.
Noises can be heard in the kitchen.
Jackson walks to the kitchen.
INT. KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS
Jackson walks into the kitchen and raises his gun.
Standing there, with his hand around Kayla's neck is WILLIAM
BROCK, 29. He's sarcastic, and sometimes egotistic. He's also
a werewolf.
William looks towards Jackson. He squeezes his hand around
Kayla's neck to the point of choking her.
Jackson takes in the situation. He raises a hand to his ear,
where a hidden earpiece is.
JACKSON
We've got problems.
He brings his hand back to the gun.
WILLIAM
Drop the gun.
Jackson nods his head. He drops the gun.
JACKSON
Will...before you do anything crazy
here, understand that this girl is
innocent here.
Kayla has a look of terror on her face as she looks between
Jackson and William. Her face slowly turns blue.
WILLIAM
And I suppose if I let her go,
you'll just let me leave. Is that
right, Vampire?
Jackson looks at William with a non-serious insulted look.
JACKSON
OK, look. It's Dhampir. I'm only
half-Vampire.
Kayla slowly turns to look at Jackson.
JACKSON (CONT'D)
Second. Yeah, that was the plan.
But if you don't come quietly...
WILLIAM
You'll what? Feed me to the wolves?
Jackson chuckles, but controls himself.
JACKSON
That's funny, coming from you.
Jackson turns his head slightly.
There's a scratching coming from the main door to the
apartment.
He returns his gaze towards William.
JACKSON (CONT'D)
But if you don't cooperate, we will
be forced to take you in the only
way we know how.
William's hand loosens up on Kayla's neck.
Color returns to Kayla's face as she coughs.
INT. HALLWAY 4TH FLOOR - CONTINUOUS
The silvery white wolf that was outside in the rain is now in
the hallway.
A young woman runs up the stairs. This is SAMANTHA ADDAMS,
28, A woman who's beauty is only matched by her intelligence,
strength, and stamina.
Samantha runs up to the door. She readies to kick the door
in.
INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT
William has loosened his hold on Kayla.
WILLIAM
Alright, Dhampir. Do your worst.
The sound of the door being kicked in now echoes into the
kitchen.
Samantha appears at the entrance, with the wolf nearby.
William looks towards Samantha and the wolf. He smiles.
WILLIAM (CONT'D)
Hello, Siren.
He throws Kayla at Jackson.
Jackson catches Kayla.
William quickly moves and transforms into a brown wolf. He
runs out of the kitchen.
INT. HALLWAY 4TH FLOOR - CONTINUOUS
William-Wolf runs out of the house and down the hallway
towards the stairs.
INT. KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS
Jackson checks Kayla's neck. He turns to Samantha and the
wolf, SIREN MCFRENCH, 21, a werewolf with a heart of gold.
Many who know her would classify her as a gentle soul until
angered.
JACKSON
Chase him down. I'll meet up with
you soon.
Samantha nods her head.
SAMANTHA
OK.
Samantha turns and runs out the door.
Siren runs after her.
EXT. APARTMENT COMPLEX - CONTINUOUS
An elderly lady walks up to the front door of the apartment
complex.
As she opens the door, William-Wolf runs out of the building,
slamming the door open with the old lady behind it.
OLD LADY
Oh my.
She makes to enter the building.
Siren-Wolf runs out of the building, almost knocking the old
lady down.
Sam bursts out of the door and straightens the old lady.
Samantha smiles.
SAMANTHA
Sorry. In a bit of a hurry. You
didn't see any canines running out
did you?
The old lady seems a bit confused. Then she has a look of
recognition.
OLD LADY
Oh yes. They went that way.
She points Samantha down the street to the left of the
complex.
SAMANTHA
Thanks!
Samantha runs off.
The old lady shakes her head.
OLD LADY
Young people these days.
She enters the building. The door closes.
Seconds later, the door opens again.
Jackson runs out of the building and gets into his car.
EXT. STREET - CONTINUOUS
William-wolf runs through the street with cars coming towards
him and away from him.
William-Wolf dodges one car and jumps on another, running on
the roof and down onto the street ahead.
The car stops instantly and the driver looks out his window.
Siren-wolf passes by the car as the driver stares blankly at
what he's seen.
Samantha runs as fast as she can, trying to keep up with the
wolves.
A car pulls ahead of her and cuts her off.
Samantha nearly hits the car. She looks at the driver.
Jackson peaks his head out of the car.
JACKSON
Get in.
Samantha opens up the passenger's side door and gets in. She
closes it.
The car starts moving again.
William-wolf now turns a corner to a closed-off area.
There are no cars, but plenty of pedestrians walking around.
Siren-wolf makes the turn and almost runs into a little girl.
Siren-wolf dodges the girl and runs off.
The little girl looks as Siren-wolf disappears in the crowd.
LITTLE GIRL
Wow, a doggy.
Jackson's car stops near the blocked road.
JACKSON
What's over there?
SAMANTHA
That diner. Quick, next block down
make a left.
JACKSON
Got it.
The car starts off again.
William-wolf spots an outdoor diner at the end of the block.
William slowly transforms back into his human self. He is now
completely naked.
Siren-wolf keeps up her pace. She barks at William.
William smirks. He keeps running.
EXT. DINER - CONTINUOUS
William walks into the outdoor dining area.
Citizens look at him. Some with interest, some with disgust.
William turns towards Siren-wolf.
Siren-wolf slows her run to a trot and walks towards William.
She stops and growls.
William chuckles.
WILLIAM
What's the matter? Don't like
showing others your birthday suit?
Siren-wolf barks and pounces.
She tries to bite William's arm, but William is able to
deflect her attack and throws her into a table.
The customers sitting at the table are able to get out of the
way in time as Siren-wolf slams into the table with a yelp.
The table is knocked to the side.
Suddenly Siren sits up. She's now in her human form. She
grabs the tablecloth.
Siren stands up, the tablecloth covering her body like a
towel. Siren, in her human form, has silver hair and silver
eyes. Noticeable on her left shoulder, running from
collarbone towards the top of her left breast are four rather
nasty scars. Remnants of a severe injury.
William looks her over.
WILLIAM (CONT'D)
I see that you've healed. Though
perhaps not the scars. They
actually look good on you.
Siren has a pained look on her face.
SIREN
You should know.
Jackson's car stops outside the diner.
Jackson and Samantha get out of the car.
JACKSON
Should we intervene?
SAMANTHA
No. Not yet.
Siren walks closer to William
WILLIAM
Siren, why do you hunt me? You know
what I'm capable of.
Siren looks up to william's eyes.
SIREN
I seek closure. For the things
you've done to me. What you've done
to the others.
William shakes his head.
WILLIAM
Siren i...
The sounds of sirens can be heard in the distance.
William looks in the direction that they're coming from. He
looks towards Siren.
WILLIAM (CONT'D)
You know that they still don't
understand our kind. They'll
probably shoot us both.
Siren nods her head.
SIREN
I know.
WILLIAM
Why do you do it then?
SIREN
I do it so I can make this a better
place for everyone.
William stares at Siren. Then he turns.
William runs off. He quickly transforms into wolf form.
EXT. STREET - CONTINUOUS
William-wolf exits the diner, running off into the distance.
EXT. DINER - CONTINUOUS
Siren looks in the direction William left.
Jackson opens the back door to his car.
JACKSON
We better get going.
Siren transforms into wolf form and walks into the backseat
of Jackson's car.
Jackson closes the door and gets into the driver's side.
Samantha gets into the passenger's side.
Jackson's car drives off.
The police arrive as Jackson's car drives off into the
distance.
SAMANTHA (V.O.)
Unfinished business. That's all it
ever was.
INT. CAR - CONTINUOUS
Siren looks at the backseat of the car to see Siren-wolf
laying down, licking her paws.
Siren-wolf looks up at Samantha and for a moment their eyes
lock.
SAMANTHA (V.O.)
But will she ever close the wounds
that haunt her till this day?
EXT. STREET - CONTINUOUS
The car drives down an empty street.
FADE OUT:
Super: DARK SIDE RISING
FADE IN:
