Author Topic: Fear of the Dark (Warning: HORROR)  (Read 2614 times)

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BaronConall

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Fear of the Dark (Warning: HORROR)
« on: May 07, 2010, 10:16:33 AM »
...Not Fan fiction, but this is the only place I can think to write this.
I'm writing this as it comes to me, so bare with me. It may be edited later for grammar, structure and spelling, so keep these things in mind...

This is basically me writing about what I feel every night before I go to bed...

Here goes;

Fear of the Dark

Is it dark yet?
Has the last ray of sunlight truly disappeared from sight?
Look at the sky. Can you see only stars?

Go inside. To where there are no windows to let the light in. Stand in the hallway.

Turn off the lights.

All of them.

Do you feel it? It's crawling up your spine... The feeling that you know something is there. Behind you...

Your thoughts, they're disjointed. They seem broken, in a frenzy. You see the doorways but you dare not look at them. Dare not focus on them. You're imagination is running wild, the sensation running along your spine is getting stronger. You can almost see it clearly.  A long, pale, elongated arm reaching out from the doorway. Human, yet... Wrong. You can almost hear it, so clear it is within your mind. The shrill, high pitched scream of something throwing itself at you. It has no regard for itself, as long as it can get to you.

Hide.
Cower.

Read these words. What's behind you? Can you see? Do you want to? Don't worry. It's there, you can feel it. It's the reason you focus only on yourself in the mirror, on your reflection when you look out the window. Look too hard and you'll see it. Watching you. Stalking you.

The eyes glow red. Or is it white? Are they black?

It's always there. You know it is. It will rip you. Tear you. Beat you. Devour you. And it will keep you alive the whole time.

You know what it's going to do. It will do what ever you fear it will.

It will grab the back of your head and slam it into the desk. You're stunned, the bridge of your nose is throbbing, your eyes are watering already. Again, it slam you head down. Again, again, again.
It has your arm now. The right. It's pulling it behind your back, so hard the tendons strain, your shoulder and you mouth scream.  Again and again your face is slammed into the desk. Your keyboard is in ruins, blood cakes you hair and face. Then come the claws. They're raking along your spine. The pain is intense, but now you feel something more... Your flesh isn't tearing, it's detaching from the skin that surrounds it. You can feel it, inch by inch, and yet you remain aware of everything. The pull on you hair, tearing your scalp, the claws severing the flesh along your spine, inch by inch, one inch per second...

And now you feel the third hand.

Is there more than one? Is it the same thing?

It's gripping your throat. You're aware of everything now. Sights. Smells. Sensations. The darkness is lit up, yet still an abyss. You feel the shock of it's touch, familiar, yet you feel tainted. There's a metallic smell in the air. It's the iron from your blood. Your heart is hammering. You're going to die. Instinct tells you to fight but the terror holds you still, such is it's power.

Four needle-prick stings. You can feel each one. Finger by finger, claw by claw, as they start to pierce you throat. And then...?

Relief.

It hasn't released you or shown mercy...

No.

It's shown ecstacy.

One slash, like it's own monstrous orgasm. Four slits along your throat. You feel like your drowning. Your mind is in panic. You taste nothing but your gasps for air, then... Blood. Metallic, sickening blood. It's flooding your lungs and your mouth. You gag, your body attempts to expel the liquid. Blood, bile and fear.

You're drowning.
Gasping for air, suffocating on the one thing that has sustained you so long.

"It's not really there."

These words startle you. Pull at you.

"There's nothing. There's never anything."

A voice... Yours.

"It's never there. There's nothing there. There's nothing ever there."

Your mantra.
It's how you sleep at night. Without it, you wouldn't be able to make it to your bed when you turn out the light. You wouldn't be able to avoid looking in the mirror or the window...

It's all in your head. The fear. The horror. The terror...

But you close your closet doors anyway.



Blah...

Sorry if that was a little descriptive/intense.

About to go to bed. Believe it or not, it helps to have written this... :-\

Offline KitsuneMarie

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Re: Fear of the Dark (Warning: HORROR)
« Reply #1 on: May 15, 2010, 12:43:59 PM »
Dan, I love your descriptions. They do a wonderful job of leaving the reader in limbo between fascination with your vision and struggling to reconcile it with empty reality.

I have certainly been terrified of the dark before; until the violent sections, I could totally empathize. It's interesting that your imagination goes into the details of what the mysterious monster-in-the-dark will do to you if it catches you. I always closed my closet door too, and was far too terrified to check under my bed or behind the wardrobe, because I was convinced something would get me otherwise. But even when I imagined it hovering over me in my bed, I never thought about what it would actually do to me. I knew that it wouldn't kill me, just as you say, but I suppose I never let me imagination run far enough to the grisly details of its violent intent.
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Offline Aluminator (Kit)

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Re: Fear of the Dark (Warning: HORROR)
« Reply #2 on: May 16, 2010, 12:15:17 AM »
Ohhh... nice. Man, you've got great writing style. That sent shivers up my spine. That was quite good, though I have to admit I was getting more out of the description of just being able to sense its presence than I was out of the descriptions of its intentions, sort of like Marie's saying. Typically I find paranoia to be a better form of literary fear than slasher-horror. ("I am the 'who' when you call 'who's there?'" - from The Nightmare Before Christmas) Maybe that's just me, though. Even so, I found even grisly details to be very well written. Not shoved down the reader's throat, but still very intense. I loved how you never could tell what it was, other than that it was evil... and it felt really evil. Well done, especially for an off-the-cuff iteration ^_^

By the way, before you started, you said "bare with me," which I took as an invitation to get naked together. I think you probably meant "bear with me," which is a request to follow you as you change direction, or bearing :P That's one of my favorite wrong word mistakes to point out ;D
« Last Edit: May 16, 2010, 12:16:50 AM by RAFKitball Filet Minion »

Marie and Abby are my wonderful RAFsisters ^_^
Salem's Story

BaronConall

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Re: Fear of the Dark (Warning: HORROR)
« Reply #3 on: May 16, 2010, 02:09:56 AM »
*Doing that whole "Aw, thanks guys! You didn't have to comment on it" thing when I was clearly getting paranoid and quite conscious of the absence of feedback*

Haha, thanks guys :D

I think I'll leave the "bare with me" line in there just for giggles xP

Offline Aluminator (Kit)

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Re: Fear of the Dark (Warning: HORROR)
« Reply #4 on: May 16, 2010, 11:20:31 AM »
Hehe... nice.

And yeah, sorry for not checking out this story before. Thus far I've only gotten into this board by request- I'm still working on my RAFomniscience. I took your comment about the lack of comments as a request, and came in here to find it :P

Marie and Abby are my wonderful RAFsisters ^_^
Salem's Story

BaronConall

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Re: Fear of the Dark (Warning: HORROR)
« Reply #5 on: May 16, 2010, 11:25:53 AM »
Hahaha yeah...

Don't mind me, that was the Midori talking...

And the Sake...

And the Absinth -_-'

On a side note: I hate it when friends invite you out drinking and then promptly go to bed before it even hits midnight >:(

Offline Shenmue654

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Re: Fear of the Dark (Warning: HORROR)
« Reply #6 on: May 19, 2010, 06:14:23 AM »
This sounds somewhat familiar, though everyone has had some version of this paranoia. Late at night when nobody's home and you're not really sure you're alone. Some deep primal fear that human beings no longer understand. Like the reason we're afraid of creepy carousel music. Somehow a fear with an unknown, even magical nature is much more terrifying to me than an axe murderer. The descriptions are quite vivid. :3

Sometimes...unlike Kitsune or probably many others...I would actually try to go find it. "Call its bluff." Look for it. I was drawn to it while afraid. Some part of me sort of hoped that if it was really there this time, it would be "someone else" I recognized. And we could finally, finally talk. I've only been waiting for nine years. But I'm crazy like that. X3
« Last Edit: May 19, 2010, 06:18:21 AM by Shenmue654 »