Author Topic: Fanfiction Comments and Feedback  (Read 85894 times)

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Offline AniDragon

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Re: Fanfiction Comments and Feedback
« Reply #255 on: July 27, 2012, 10:53:42 PM »
Can we use this thread to make recommendations for fics that we've found? Or is there another thread for that? Because I have found a fic that has blown my mind, and I need to SHARE IT.

If there's a better place to post this, I'll put it there, but in the meantime, everyone go read this awesome, amazing, mind-blowing Animorphs/Avengers crossover: http://archiveofourown.org/works/440446

I've been told that I have some really good ideas for crossovers. THIS ONE IS BETTER THAN ANYTHING I HAVE EVER COME UP WITH.
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Offline theyoungphoenix

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Re: Fanfiction Comments and Feedback
« Reply #256 on: April 05, 2013, 05:19:09 PM »
I think that you are doing a great job on it. I have read all that you have posted on fanfiction.net and love it.
I think you should keep writing it. It kinda left me hanging. ;) But so far you are doing a good job. :)
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Offline NickDaGriff

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Re: Fanfiction Comments and Feedback
« Reply #257 on: July 30, 2014, 05:01:53 PM »
Hey, y'all.  I was hoping for a little feedback on my fanfic #55: The Following (http://animorphsforum.com/index.php?topic=10456.msg845925).  Basically, I'm looking to see if you think everything is in character, the dialogue isn't wacky, scenes are coherent (for as long as they're meant to be), and the symbolism isn't too heavy-handed.

Compliments, complaints, critiques and comments are all welcome.
[spoiler=A writer at heart:]
My sequel fic, Animorphs #55: The Following
My first Memoirs fic, A Geeky Gryphon's Origins

Offline vivaria

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Re: Fanfiction Comments and Feedback
« Reply #258 on: February 16, 2015, 02:58:51 AM »
Hey, y'all.  I was hoping for a little feedback on my fanfic #55: The Following (http://animorphsforum.com/index.php?topic=10456.msg845925).  Basically, I'm looking to see if you think everything is in character, the dialogue isn't wacky, scenes are coherent (for as long as they're meant to be), and the symbolism isn't too heavy-handed.

Compliments, complaints, critiques and comments are all welcome.

I think you're doing an amazing job so far! Putting my review under a spoiler, it got... pretty long.

[spoiler]Small nitpicks:
I am unsure if Menderash is able to use thought-speak as a human nothlit, but because canon is a bit shaky in that regard with the books retconning it and then bringing it back again, I can accept it. It could be that since it's a morph for Andalites, then that means that perhaps only they can use thought-speak in human morph, while a demorphed human cannot thought-speak?

I love including bits of how you interpret the newer characters' appearances, I like knowing how others imagine them! However, I'd change "Asian features" as it may be a bit too vague of a descriptor. It's the difference between imagining facial features that are common in places like China, or Saudi Arabia, or Siberia, or India, and so on.

Other than that, I can't think of any criticisms at the moment!

General review:
Honestly, it's one of the best Book 55 fics I've read! Marco, Tobias, and Jake, to me, all seem in character given the circumstances that they've found themselves in. And I'm beyond pleased whenever authors take up the challenge of fleshing out minor characters like this. It's sadly very rare, and unfortunately more common for fics to turn them into mere background characters or to just get rid of them. I'm impressed by your interpretation of Menderash's character, creating so much out of the little information and cues we were given of his character. I like the little details you add also, with him being hesitant to climb down (The Fay Wray comment was perfect, very Marco), or the part about only agreeing to wear clothing because of pockets (I hope no one tells him about backpacks). I'm very excited to see how you flesh out Jeanne and Santorelli as well, if/when you do!

Tobias must have been feeling isolated through his perspective because everyone keeps trying to convince him to be on good terms with Jake before he's fully moved on. Sounds pretty accurate, actually. Tobias is very sensitive, and it seems like the insensitive collective want from everyone to make him get over it and bring him back with the rest of the group would grate on him enough to push himself further away. It's definitely an understandable thing for post-book-54 Tobias to feel and react, in my opinion. I think you're doing a great job with his character.
I also felt it made sense that Tobias would not even become close with Menderash. It's definitely possible that Tobias felt uncomfortable about how it all 'hit too close to home' and he may not know how to deal with being someone that Menderash could confide in about adjusting to life as a nothlit. Menderash tentatively trying to open up to Tobias this whole time but Tobias not being receptive made a lot of sense for Tobias' character and it was really sad. I'm glad they were able to have a small moment about that though.

Marco is analytical and gets things the quickest here, as is true to his character. I'm glad that he takes up a much more active role as opposed to only being the comedic relief/chronic whiner of the group. Marco is often a pretty hard character to get down just right, but I think you're doing well. It is hard to tell completely until he's given more 'screen time', though. I loved that Santorelli nicknamed him 'Hollywood', hah.

Jake seems to have been stretched too thin, and after being targeted too! I think it makes sense he'd snap quite a bit, especially without anyone to de-escalate him like Cassie used to. He has no idea how to talk to Tobias at all anymore, it's like Jake's behavior is a reaction to Tobias' behavior, which is a reaction to Jake's behavior, etc. A very realistic outcome from all that's happened, given that they've been cooped up in The Rachel together, and Tobias has not been able to fly in the open air or hunt for nearly a year or so. The animosity and short-fuses between them is at this point very in character, I think.

The dialogue, scenes, symbolism, all of it flows very well and feels very natural to me -- as natural as they can be given the dream sequences of course. I liked the deja vu aspect in their dreams, repeating lines without realizing it, it felt very dream-like.[/spoiler]

I think your fic is good stuff, I'm going to keep it tracked for more updates! :thumbsup:

Offline NickDaGriff

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Re: Fanfiction Comments and Feedback
« Reply #259 on: February 18, 2015, 01:21:19 AM »
Thanks for a highly thoughtful review!  I appreciate it!  :D

Canon is pretty solid on the issue of thoughtspeak in human morph.  Ax does it on occasion.  I think Applegate said herself there was really no reason they couldn't, given that human is just another morph for him, like any other.  Jake using thoughtspeak in #1 was just a KASU because she hadn't figured out all the rules just yet.

Gah, you reminded me that I hadn't given everyone actual appearance descriptions yet.  :P  "Asian features" was just a stand-in phrase I was using because I hadn't bothered to write that out yet.  XD

As for everything else, wow.  You know EXACTLY where I'm coming from.  I'm glad you picked up on so many of the little things.  I'm used to people missing all that, and it made me happy seeing you pointing that stuff out.  :D
[spoiler=A writer at heart:]
My sequel fic, Animorphs #55: The Following
My first Memoirs fic, A Geeky Gryphon's Origins

Offline vivaria

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Re: Fanfiction Comments and Feedback
« Reply #260 on: February 18, 2015, 02:21:13 AM »
Canon is pretty solid on the issue of thoughtspeak in human morph.  Ax does it on occasion.  I think Applegate said herself there was really no reason they couldn't, given that human is just another morph for him, like any other.  Jake using thoughtspeak in #1 was just a KASU because she hadn't figured out all the rules just yet.

Ah I see, that makes sense, and I hadn't known. I think Jake thought-speaking as human confused me, and had led me to assume Ax doing it was also a KASU! Disregard that entirely, then, haha.

Quote
As for everything else, wow.  You know EXACTLY where I'm coming from.  I'm glad you picked up on so many of the little things.  I'm used to people missing all that, and it made me happy seeing you pointing that stuff out.  :D

Oh, nice! I'm glad I wasn't completely off the mark, haha! I looooove little attention to details and all the nuances when it comes to characters, so I just have to admire when I see it handled well. I'm excited to see where you go with this fic!

Offline darthdakka

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Re: Fanfiction Comments and Feedback
« Reply #261 on: February 18, 2015, 03:33:28 PM »
Hey, y'all.  I was hoping for a little feedback on my fanfic #55: The Following (http://animorphsforum.com/index.php?topic=10456.msg845925).  Basically, I'm looking to see if you think everything is in character, the dialogue isn't wacky, scenes are coherent (for as long as they're meant to be), and the symbolism isn't too heavy-handed.

Compliments, complaints, critiques and comments are all welcome.
Well I like what you have so far and I'm interested to see where the story is going.

Offline NickDaGriff

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Re: Fanfiction Comments and Feedback
« Reply #262 on: February 20, 2015, 12:19:16 PM »
Forgot to mention, yeah, it bugs me when fanfic writers just ignore the newer characters and completely neglect their potential value.  I read one fic that outright said Jeanne, Santorelli and Menderash had no experience, and that irritated me to no end.  Jeanne is in Deuxieme (actually called the DGSE since WWII ended) which is basically the French CIA and more.  Santorelli's a sergeant, which means the Army trusts him enough to lead a squad of soldiers and keep them safe, and his record has to have been impressive enough that they're putting him forward for the morphing program (which is kinda like Tom Clancy's Rainbow if you think about it).  And Menderash was first officer to the great Aximili.  'Nuff said.  They've all got interesting backgrounds, and I want to dig into it, not just blow them off like they're nothing.
[spoiler=A writer at heart:]
My sequel fic, Animorphs #55: The Following
My first Memoirs fic, A Geeky Gryphon's Origins

Offline darthdakka

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Re: Fanfiction Comments and Feedback
« Reply #263 on: February 20, 2015, 04:53:41 PM »
Forgot to mention, yeah, it bugs me when fanfic writers just ignore the newer characters and completely neglect their potential value.  I read one fic that outright said Jeanne, Santorelli and Menderash had no experience, and that irritated me to no end.  Jeanne is in Deuxieme (actually called the DGSE since WWII ended) which is basically the French CIA and more.  Santorelli's a sergeant, which means the Army trusts him enough to lead a squad of soldiers and keep them safe, and his record has to have been impressive enough that they're putting him forward for the morphing program (which is kinda like Tom Clancy's Rainbow if you think about it).  And Menderash was first officer to the great Aximili.  'Nuff said.  They've all got interesting backgrounds, and I want to dig into it, not just blow them off like they're nothing.
I completely agree with you, its one of the things that pisses me off the most about Post Series fics. Well that and the Ellimist/Crayak snapping their fingers and bringing Rachel back. Its not that I mind the idea of her coming back, its the execution the bugs the hell out of me. For starters, that's not how either of the characters act in the books. What's more, its just so lazy.  There are any number of ways to bring Rachel back besides 'god did it'. You could write whole stories about them finding the time matrix or so on. (Best way I've seen it done was using an Ixcila, the morphing allergy, coupled with the time Cassie morphed Rachel back in the series)

..err. Sorry for the mini-rant.


Offline vivaria

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Re: Fanfiction Comments and Feedback
« Reply #264 on: February 21, 2015, 01:30:59 AM »
Forgot to mention, yeah, it bugs me when fanfic writers just ignore the newer characters and completely neglect their potential value.  I read one fic that outright said Jeanne, Santorelli and Menderash had no experience, and that irritated me to no end.  Jeanne is in Deuxieme (actually called the DGSE since WWII ended) which is basically the French CIA and more.  Santorelli's a sergeant, which means the Army trusts him enough to lead a squad of soldiers and keep them safe, and his record has to have been impressive enough that they're putting him forward for the morphing program (which is kinda like Tom Clancy's Rainbow if you think about it).  And Menderash was first officer to the great Aximili.  'Nuff said.  They've all got interesting backgrounds, and I want to dig into it, not just blow them off like they're nothing.

Oh, I totally agree.

Rereading 54 and, you know, I don't know much about military stuff, but I did find that Jake describes Santorelli as being only five years older than him, 25 or 26 maybe? Which is a lot younger than I'd expect from a former US Army Ranger. Jeanne is described as a 'trainee', but I'm not sure just how green a trainee really is. He described them both as being amazingly smart, fit, and disciplined. I wouldn't think they're experts, but I don't think they're completely without experience within their fields either.

And even without knowing anything about him before the mission, it states that Menderash goes through a lot just to bring news back, it's absolutely wild what he endures. After knowing all that, it's pretty anti-climactic to have him just die for no reason almost immediately in fic. I mean, hey, if Tobias can survive being a hawk nothlit for quite a few books until he got his morphing back, I'd say a human nothlit Menderash has a possibility of surviving for a little while too. Of course, I don't think he'd make it out of the mission alive, but boy it'd be hilariously impressive to see a fic pull that off somehow!

Anyway, I think fic writers ought to take note that it's difficult to get much of an emotional response from readers by killing off a character (or characters) that ended up being nothing more than background noise in their fic.
« Last Edit: February 21, 2015, 08:45:07 AM by vivaria »

Offline Tim Bruening

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Re: Fanfiction Comments and Feedback
« Reply #265 on: July 07, 2015, 11:20:07 PM »
In which fan fic do descendants of the original Animorphs resist a renewed Yeerk invasion?  The descendants start out the story by acquiring their morphing licenses, then applying to acquire certain morphs (the animals of which are held in "The Gardens" for that purpose).  They aren't allowed any really dangerous morphs.  If they obtain an illegal morph, they are forced to burp it out as per Rachel in "The Reaction".  These rules are enforced by a chip that each morpher carries inside his body.

The Andalites are allowing the above in return for a Krispy Creme franchise on their homeworld.

The Crayak is playing a game with "The One".  As part of the game, the Animorph Descendants are to oppose a renewed Yeerk invasion.  Only the descendants are allowed to know of the Yeerks, and the Yeerks have been allowed some morph capable human hosts.

Offline Adam

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Re: Fanfiction Comments and Feedback
« Reply #266 on: July 08, 2015, 06:10:51 AM »
Hi everyone! I'm looking for some opinions on my current fanfic, Seer.

I started the fic almost two years ago, and though I put a lot of work in it, it gets no comments on FanFiction, and only XenoFrobe has really followed it on this site. (Thanks Xeno!)

I want to know if there is something that puts you off of it, so that I can avoid those mistakes in the future.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9525996/1/Seer

Thanks a bunch!
Adam
Check out my Animorphs fan-fiction on this site!
http://animorphsforum.com/index.php?topic=9858.0


Offline Tim Bruening

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Re: Fanfiction Comments and Feedback
« Reply #267 on: July 08, 2015, 01:53:08 PM »
Hi everyone! I'm looking for some opinions on my current fanfic, Seer.

I started the fic almost two years ago, and though I put a lot of work in it, it gets no comments on FanFiction, and only XenoFrobe has really followed it on this site. (Thanks Xeno!)

I want to know if there is something that puts you off of it, so that I can avoid those mistakes in the future.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9525996/1/Seer

Thanks a bunch!
Adam

I do like the Hork-Bajir morphing into a bird picture!

Offline Adam

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Re: Fanfiction Comments and Feedback
« Reply #268 on: July 08, 2015, 03:22:51 PM »
Hi everyone! I'm looking for some opinions on my current fanfic, Seer.

I started the fic almost two years ago, and though I put a lot of work in it, it gets no comments on FanFiction, and only XenoFrobe has really followed it on this site. (Thanks Xeno!)

I want to know if there is something that puts you off of it, so that I can avoid those mistakes in the future.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9525996/1/Seer

Thanks a bunch!
Adam

I do like the Hork-Bajir morphing into a bird picture!

Ah... Well at least the cover isn't bad, I guess =P
Check out my Animorphs fan-fiction on this site!
http://animorphsforum.com/index.php?topic=9858.0


Offline CatMorph

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Re: Fanfiction Comments and Feedback
« Reply #269 on: March 13, 2018, 02:06:09 AM »
Do we have a thread where people can post Animorphs fanfiction prompts, such as ideas they are too lazy to write themselves?