Author Topic: 27 Days  (Read 1852 times)

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HiImshort

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27 Days
« on: February 11, 2010, 03:24:08 AM »
Ok. This is my first fanfic and I want critisism. Hope you enjoy it.

27 Days

This is the untold story of a well known forum known as RAF. We begin with RAF in shambles, people, andalites, controllers, mods, and everyone else running around like chickens with their heads cut off. There’s also a bunch of Super smash brothers characters running around in like pattern, chickens with their heads cut off, and one person in the shadows being very calm about everything that’s going on. The tension is strong. RAFians are disappearing left and right, brawlers are appearing and disappearing without limit or reason how or why and people from unknown universes are just popping up.

Let’s backtrack to when this first started.

Prelude 1

It’s a beautiful day at RAF. Many RAFians are enjoying the sunlight and drinking refreshing drinks while swimming at the lake or talking among themselves on chat. All but two, Gaz and Blue who hours earlier disappeared and two other people suddenly appeared in their places, one that is in a green tunic with a green cap and looking very much like a cartoon and the other looking like a wolf in a military uniform.

The two named toon Link and Wolf were given the usual greetings and they got along with everyone but an unrest started to come up upon RAF as they were wondering what happened to Gaz and Blue. A few days go by and still no Gaz or Blue and many rafians get worried. Many brush it off thinking that both of them are busy with other matters and aren’t going to be on for a while but everyone feels that they’re missing. After two weeks many rafians were worried but most kept a level head and still thought the two could still show up.

A day after the two weeks a man about 6 foot tall, with jet black hair and a terrible sense of fashion, wearing green shorts that were baggy and a blue overcoat with red and yellow swirls on it came to raf. He walks up to a noob and asks politely in a deep, strong, and grotesque voice: “Do you know where I can find a mod? I have an important letter for them.” The noob looks up at the man and starts laughing while he says: “You look like bozo the clown.” The noob falls over from all the laughing and the man continues on with the letter in his hand. He walks to the beach where many rafians are resting and he looks out into the water to find…..a zora….another zora……ah a seal. He walks up to the female zora, shark, and asks her: “Excuse me miss? Can you get that Seal over there?” Shark looks at the stranger and says: “Ok. Can I ask who’s asking?” The man smiles and chuckles a little. “Tell her that a man named Squall Leonhart is asking for her.” “Ok.” Shark swims over to Seal and points at “Squall.” They both swim over and Seal asks: “Yes Squall Leonhart.. :P” “Hello Seal. Can you tell me where I can find a mod?” “Yeah um….one should be in the bored board messing up the count for the one game.” “Thanks seal.”

“Squall” walks out of the beach area and walks into the main lobby. He notices several doors along the hall and one with a big sign that says: POSTS ON THE BORED BOARD DON’T COUNT FOR YOUR POST COUNT.

“Squall” looks at the sign and enters to see a massive amount of activity from several rafians including Genies9, shorty/meta knight, aluminator and several others. He looks over at the mod/counting thread and sees Esplin Elsen aka Russell and walks over to him. “Excuse me. Are you a mod?” Squall is meet with a very dirty look. “Your interrupting my fun. This better be important.” “It is. I have a letter from Gaz and Blue. They’re trapped inside a game of some sort. Please this letter should answer some questions about their disappearance. Russell opens the letter and reads it. He looks at “Squall” and asks: “What is this? I don’t believe it. I need to get the other mods.”

Offline Cloak

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Re: 27 Days
« Reply #1 on: February 11, 2010, 03:15:30 PM »
Quote
[15:13:53] Lurch!: if any of you want a peek or what to make a comment.

Comment.

[spoiler]Sorry, couldn't resist.  Looks fine, Shorty.[/spoiler]


Book 189: "Shenecron's Pets"
Chapter 4: "First Attempt"
(January 7, 2020)

RAFians Referenced Specifically: Demos.

HiImshort

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Re: 27 Days
« Reply #2 on: February 11, 2010, 03:42:49 PM »
LOL. Thanks Cloak.

Offline Gaz

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Re: 27 Days
« Reply #3 on: February 11, 2010, 06:54:48 PM »
Oh no! I'm trapped somewhere!

Looks good so far. Can't wait to read more and see what happens.

Offline Shark Akhrrana

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Re: 27 Days
« Reply #4 on: February 12, 2010, 01:18:55 AM »
=D this is great. i like it so far. The plot is getting better by teh minute can't wait to read more =D

===============================================

HiImshort

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Re: 27 Days
« Reply #5 on: February 12, 2010, 02:43:40 AM »
Ah thanks y'all. The next prelude should be up in a week, actually next Thursday it'll be up if my comp let's it. :yoshi:

Offline Horsefan1023 (Seal)

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Re: 27 Days
« Reply #6 on: February 14, 2010, 11:22:42 PM »
I love it, Shorty!  It's awesomesauce!
Most Insane Member/RAFian Writer 2010!

Thanks to Bear!
Blue is my WonderTwin, Myth, Blocky, Jess, Kayla, Demos, Tony are my siblings, Shorty is my cousin, Bear is my RAFsupercodetective! (Yeah awesome!)
RAFdating Ghostie! :D
:raftrophy: RAFian Writer and Most Insane Member 2011!

Offline KitsuneMarie

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Re: 27 Days
« Reply #7 on: February 16, 2010, 10:57:04 AM »
Hey Shorty! Great job! Here are my comments:

[spoiler]- Great story idea!
- I love the details you include (like the sign by the Bored Board)
- Good job making this exciting right off the bat with the disappearance of Gaz and Blue -- I'm worried about them! :D
- I got confused by a few typos and strange sentence structures, but overall I understand what's going on.

In short: yaaay! Good work! Can't wait to see what happens next![/spoiler]
Aluminator's RAFsister

HiImshort

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Re: 27 Days
« Reply #8 on: February 16, 2010, 11:04:15 AM »
Thanks both of you. Next update since I'm impatient will be tomorrow or not. :D

Post Merged: February 18, 2010, 02:11:34 AM
27 Days
PRELUDE 2

Russell continued to look at “Squall” dumbfounded. He tried to speak but nothing came out but gibberish and babbles. Russell finally, after getting his composure back, asked: “What is the meaning of this? And what does it mean your not Squall Leonhart? Who is Squall Leonhart?” Esplen looks around and notices shorty and grabs him. “Who is Squall Leonhart and is he him or not?” Shorty looked down at the man and said: “Squall Leonhart is the main character of Final Fantasy 8 and this guy is obviously NOT Squall. He looks nothing like him and doesn’t have his signature gun blade.”   The man smiled and from beneath his coat he withdrew the gun blade and said: “So am I Squall or not?” Shorty looks at Russ and shrugs then says: “Well um, bye. I got to post more.”

When shorty returned to the topics on the bored board he saw Spartan281 (Parker) and went over to him. “Hey Parker. You won’t believe what I just saw.” “What? A dictionary?” “No. Of course not. I saw bozo the clown claiming to be Squall Leonhart and he had the gun blade. The gun blade Parker. Unbelievable absolutely unbelievable. I gotta go to chat and tell Demos.” Shorty leaves the bored board and goes to chat where three people are: Horsefan1023(Seal), Damien, and Demos666. He enters chat and says: Hello everyone. Seal, Demos, Damien.
Seal: Hi shorty.
Demos: hi 
Damien: hi.
Shorty: I just saw Squall Leonhart. Demos. Squall from FF8.
Demos: Seal was saying that a second ago.
Shorty: Oh. -_-. WHAT? You meet him too? When?
Seal: Well I was at the lake with the Zoras and
he walked up to Shark and asked for a mod.
Shorty: Then he comes to the bored board and gets Russell. Great. He stops Russell, who grabs me asks me who Squall Leonhart is. I tell parker and am now here.
Demos: Now what?
Shorty: Not much we can do but sit and wait for something to happen.

Meanwhile Russell, and Squall following behind, walk over to gather the other mods and discuss these problems. After getting all the mods Squall begins the conversation. Ok everyone. I apologize for the quickness and the rudeness first of all. Second I called you guys together to tell you that Blue and Gaz are alive and safe. They send their regards and wish they could see you guys again. Ok Russell? Can you reveal the letter?” Russell takes the letter out of his pocket. (?)

   Dear RAF,

This is Gaz. I’m here with Blue. Right now we can say that were safe but Blue has told me were in a video game called Super Smash Brothers Brawl and that were inside a talking ship with a dragons head, and Blue has a plane of some sort. He says that it’s from a place called the subspace emissary, whatever that is. We’ve also gone through some kind of transformation. I look like a cartoon pirate with a green tunic and Blue didn’t change, much. He still looks like a ninja but he’s covered in fur and he’ s gray. Were safe for now but we don’t know for how long. Blue also says that there is one goal in this place and that’s to stop this place from turning completely to subspace. Sounds familiar. Were thinking of leaving this area for now but me and Blue agree we should wait for someone to come. We also asked this Squall person what he thought and he theorized that there’s some kind of rip or a tear, some sort of damage, to time. A time requiem or something. We are safe and we hope to get back soon. After all this place seems nice but I want my coffee and Blue wants to TAS.



Sincerely Gaz and Blue



After the letter was read Russell looked at the other mods and asked: “Any suggestions? How does anyone fight time? And better yet, a rip in time?”
« Last Edit: February 18, 2010, 02:11:34 AM by Meta Knight »

Offline Gaz

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Re: 27 Days
« Reply #9 on: February 18, 2010, 06:50:07 AM »
lol! I'm a cartoon pirate! Yarrr. And yes....my coffee is vitally important to my well-being.

Great part! Look forward to reading more.  :pirate:

HiImshort

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Re: 27 Days
« Reply #10 on: February 18, 2010, 03:23:49 PM »
thanks Gaz. never forget the coffee :P
« Last Edit: July 06, 2010, 04:30:03 PM by shorty with kit thrown in for good measure »

Offline Midnight_Huntress

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Re: 27 Days
« Reply #11 on: February 22, 2010, 05:00:59 AM »
Wow, this is amazing so far!!!
J-man is my RAFcousin
Broken is my RAFfather
Darth Vader (Shorty) is my RAFuncle
Reunited with my RAFlove Parker


HiImshort

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Re: 27 Days
« Reply #12 on: February 22, 2010, 05:12:49 AM »
Thanks. ^__^